This one is a touch sad and begs for some sort of sequel resolution, so you might see one in the December flashes! Different kind of jealousy too!
Winona had always had trouble bonding with her son, Jim. There was the whole becoming a widow on the date of Jim’s birth, sure, but there were other reasons, mostly her fault, she knew, but Jim had always been…distant with her in a way Sam never had been.
Of course, Sam had left and Jim had not, but still, now she had reconciled with her older son, but Jim remained elusive to her.
Oh it was nothing outright. He called her Mom never Mother, he was always polite, if not warm, he smiled at her, if it lacked warmth, and never disparaged her to anyone.
Yet as she watched Spock’s interaction with his mother, Amanda, she could see the difference.
They were both there in San Francisco to visit their sons while they attended Starfleet Academy. Jim had told her all about his new, bourgeoning relationship with the Vulcan, and by the time Winona had arranged a visit, Jim had moved into Spock’s off-campus apartment.
To her surprise, Spock’s mother, Amanda Grayson, was also there.
Thus why as they all went to dinner together, Winona was able to notice the difference in how Spock was with his mother.
Even though Spock was a Vulcan, he was noticeably warmer in his behavior toward his mother than Jim was with her. Subtle little things. Nothing she could even point to if asked, but she felt it.
When they both went to the bathroom together, that was Spock and Jim, not her and Winona, she used that chance to mention her observations to the other human woman.
“I envy you,” Winona said plainly. Then she laughed and shook her head. “Who am I kidding? I’m flat out jealous.”
Amanda gave her a funny look. “Jealous? Over what? I can’t imagine.”
She sighed. “Your easy relationship with Spock. I’ve never had that with Jim.”
“Really? I don’t sense any tension or awkwardness between you.”
“Oh, nothing that obvious. Jim’s far too good of a boy to allow that to filter through.” She sighed again and leaned her chin on her hand. “I’m not making sense, I’m sure. But I know what I mean. Anyway, you’re lucky. I can tell how much Spock loves and respects you as his mother.”
A moment later, their sons returned, and they continued with their visit.
A couple of days later, Jim walked with her to the shuttlebay for her return to Riverside.
“I’m very happy you’re doing so well with the Academy and with Spock.”
They didn’t say anything else until they got to where her gate was located.
“Maybe you can come home for Christmas, you know when your break comes next month.”
He gave her a vague smile. “Maybe. I’ll see if I can manage it.”
“I can get a tree. Really decorate it up. All your favorite foods.”
She bit her lip. “You can bring Spock.”
His smile never dimmed. “Maybe. I’ll let you know. Looks like they’re getting ready to board.”
She knew that was her gentle dismissal. Yes, he’d been rather like that almost from when he was a small child and certainly since Frank.
“Jim, we’re all right, aren’t we? You and me?” she ventured to ask, even though she knew without a doubt he would say yes, no matter what the truth of it was.
“Of course we are,” he gave her the predicted answer.
She moved to hug him and she was delighted when he didn’t move away as he had when she had arrived for her visit. That had hurt though she had done her damndest to hide it.
She held on tight to him while she could and she couldn’t help but notice how much like George he was. He even smelled like George. George would have been crazy nuts for Jim, just as he had been for Sam.
When she had become pregnant with Jim, George had been enthusiastic enough at the prospect that this one might be a girl, but she knew deep down he wanted another boy. They’d decided to keep it a secret until the time. And she wished they hadn’t because there would have been things they could have enjoyed in the planning for their second son that they’d never been able to do.
“You don’t want to miss your shuttle.”
Jim spoke softly and kindly as he always did, but that distant hint of dismissal was there just the same. Her heart twisted a bit, but she released her hold on him, and tried not to show him how very close to tears she was.
A silly, melancholy old woman was what she had become.
“I had a wonderful visit.”
“Me too,” Jim assured her and it even sounded sincere.
“I love you, baby.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
And she turned and went through the gate. When she turned back around to wave goodbye, he had already moved away, his long legs had already taken him far away from her.
“Let me do it myself, Mommy!”
Words she remembered him saying so often to her as a child. He never wanted her to help him.
Winona wiped her eyes, turned back around and went to go to he shuttle, praying that Jim would come for Christmas break, but knowing she would likely be disappointed.