Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings


Starfleet Academy Fic

Flash Fic, March 09, 2022

A couple of people mentioned they could see a longer fic involved with the flash where Jim asked Spock to accompany them to Spring Break in Monterey. It was implied that Jim and Spock had spent a night together.

I’ve decided to make it a longer fic that will be posted on AO3 called Spring Break (I know, how original LOL) but I wanted to post the first part here. Eventually when I post to AO3 this might be expanded, but you get the gist of it here.

Thank you.

It had been a day like any other.
Jim was sitting at a small two-seater table outside a café restaurant a couple of blocks from Starfleet Academy. He had a carafe of coffee and a half-eaten BLT sandwich in front of him. He would take an occasional bite of the sandwich and would refill his cup from the carafe every once in a while.
His attention was on the PADD he used to do his Academy work and so he was therefore startled when a shadow moved across his table.
“I am looking for a good time.”
A Vulcan stood there. A very good looking, smoldering Vulcan. He wore black jeans and a black pullover sweater.
“Excuse me?”
“You are James Kirk?”
“Uh, yeah.”
The Vulcan nodded and sat down in the chair across from Jim. “I am Spock.”
“Okay.” Jim nodded. “Spock. What did you just say?”
“I am looking for a good time.”
“Well, all right, but, uh. I’m not really sure—”
Spock thrust his own PADD at Jim, where he spotted a highlighted paragraph.
“I read your ad.”
Looking for a good time? Look no further than me, James Kirk, sex god extraordinaire. I can often be found at the Starlight Café. Come see me and we’ll have a great time.
Jim’s jaw dropped open. “I didn’t—”
“Normally I do not respond to such advertisements, but these are extraordinary circumstances. I do not wish to interrupt anything, but if you are available at the moment, my apartment is not far.”
Jim closed his mouth and stared at Spock. Lord, he was just gorgeous. And normally, Jim would be laughing at the absurdity of it all. And he had a pretty good idea what idiot was behind the phony ad.
The thing was, when was he going to get to have sex with someone like Spock? Hardly ever. Okay never. But yet here was opportunity knocking.
“I, ah, yes. I’m available right now.”
Spock nodded. “Excellent.”
He took back his PADD and rose, so Jim closed down his, and rose also. He discarded the remains of the rest of his sandwich and followed Spock from the café.
Jim turned onto his back, panting. Beside him, Spock was doing the same.
“Very well, your advertisement was quite correct, James.”
Now Jim did laugh. Because honestly.
“Actually, it’s Jim. And to be honest, Spock, I didn’t place that advertisement.”
Spock turned to his side and stared at Jim. “What?”
Jim faced him. “Look, that was incredible. You’re amazing. I loved every minute of that and I think we really should do it again. Like in thirty minutes or so.”
“I do not understand.”
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us. Sorta. Listen, what made you decide to answer that ad? Vulcans don’t usually have casual sex, do they?”
“Not often but it is not unheard of,” Spock replied. “In my case, I was…I wished to be a bit rebellious of the authority my father seeks to have over me.”
“Your old enough to make your own decisions,” Jim pointed out.
“Yes, but my father is…not like normal fathers, I expect.”
Jim smiled wistfully. “I wouldn’t know.”
“I suppose you would not,” Spock acknowledged. “He seeks to control my life even now that I have vacated Vulcan and live my life here. I had a moment where I wished to…”
“Rebel.” Jim smiled. “I get it. And I’m really glad you could rebel with me. But, Spock, I placed no such ad.”
“I have a sort of friend, a classmate named Finnegan. It’s just the sort of thing he’d do, so I am thinking he had a hand in this.”
Spock was quiet.
“Are you okay?”
“I am…embarrassed. A new experience for me.”
Jim moved closer. “Don’t be. However this happened, I’m really glad it did. And I meant what I said. I want to go again.” He kissed Spock, who after a moment’s hesitation, kissed back. “And maybe even beyond tonight. Do you think?”
“Perhaps.” Spock smiled slightly. “The advertisement was still accurate, nevertheless. You may wish to contact them to have it removed lest you get more interested parties.”
“I will for sure.”
“I, too, am glad,” Spock said, softly, almost shyly. “Though I suspect you must think me particularly odd and given to rash decisions. I assure that is normally far from the truth.”
“Oh, I believe that,” Jim assured him. “I don’t think you’re odd. And in this case, I’m glad for your rash decision.” He kissed Spock again, longer, more lingering.
“Thirty minutes?” Spock murmured.
Jim grinned. “Perhaps less. A lot less.”    

Flash Fic December 27, 2021

“Another Christmas down, another year I didn’t find my soulmate,” Jim complained as he slid into the booth across from Bones.

“You’re too picky.” Bones waved his fork.

“I am not. Well.” Jim paused. “I am. But that’s because according to Kirk legend-“

“Here we go.”

Jim stuck out his tongue. “The legend is real.”

“Sure, sure. Go on. According to Kirk legend.”

“My soulmate will have a tiny mole on the left side of his neck.”

“Do you know how many people probably have that?” Bones asked.

“And they’ll have dark hair and pointed ears.”

What? Come on, Jim, that’s pretty specific.”

Jim laughed. “No. But there’s a really hot Vulcan that just walked into the restaurant.”

Bones turned and craned his neck. “That guy? Forget it. He’s an asshole from what I heard. And has a girlfriend.”

Jim sighed and leaned back. “Figures. All the asshole Vulcans are always taken.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Anyway, there’s always next Christmas. Or maybe New Year’s Eve.”

“Nope. It’s bad luck to meet your soulmate before midnight on New Year’s Eve.” Jim picked up his coffee and took a sip. “Everybody knows that.”

I don’t know that.”

“Hey, he’s coming here.”


“The asshole Vulcan,” Jim whispered.

Suddenly a shadow fell over their table. Jim looked up into dark eyes that stared haughtily back at him.

“Can we help you buddy?” Bones demanded.

The Vulcan didn’t spare Bones a glance. “You are sitting in my seat.”

“Eh? What?”

Finally the Vulcan turned his head slowly to glare at Bones. “You are sitting in my seat.”

“Now just a damn minute, you green-blooded-“


The Vulcan glanced back at Jim. “I have been looking for you.”


“I am Spock. I believe you are my soulmate.”

Jim’s jaw dropped open. “I’m what?”

“You have a scythe shaped scar on the underside of your wrist, do you not?”

Automatically Jim looked down at the scar on his wrist even as Spock nodded his satisfaction.

“Jim, are you going to listen to this lunatic?” Bones demanded.

“That depends.” Jim tilted his head at the Vulcan. “You don’t happen to have a little mole on the left side of your neck, do you?”

“I do.” Spock showed him.

“Hot damn. Bones, split.”

He ignored his sputtering friend, but Bones did slide out of the booth and was soon replaced by the Vulcan, Spock.

“Hi. I’m Jim.”

A bit of soulmate mark silliness, hope you enjoyed!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Advent Day 22

Photo by Jonathan Meyer on

Jim grimaced as the last of the firemen exited his apartment, carrying the remains of his burned Christmas tree. As the last man went through the door, a stray cracked ornament ball crashed to the ground. Spraying glass everywhere.

The captain of the fire department shook his head.

“Sorry, kid. Sometimes this happens. Faulty wire on a too dry tree.”

“That’s what I get for trying to have a real one.”

“It could have been worse. The damage was confined to the tree.” He paused. “And your oven where you burned your dinner.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Not my day that’s for sure. Or my whole month.”

“Might take a while for the smell to dissipate but you should be fine.” He smiled slightly. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, thanks, you too.” Jim closed and locked the door after he left. He turned to look at the mess the whole thing made. They’d cleaned up somewhat, but now there was more to clean and the glass from the last broken ornament too. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year my ass.”

A short while later while he was in the middle of sweeping up glass, there was a knock at the door. For a moment, Jim just stood there, trying to figure out who would be at his door.

“Oh Crap.” He stepped over some of the glass and went to the door to open it. “Uh, sorry. I forgot to tell you the date was canceled. I meant to text you.”

The Vulcan at his door tilted his head and looked perplexed. “I smell smoke.”

“Er, yeah. That’s why it’s canceled. The date I mean. And hell, the whole damn holiday season. My tree caught fire, the Vulcan dish I was trying to make is now best described as charcoal. It’s all a disaster. I am. Actually. You’d better make your escape now, Spock.”

Up went Spock’s eyebrow. “Are you finished?”

“Maybe,” Jim said mulishly.

Spock nodded. “May I come in?”

“Why would you want to?”

“To assist you in cleaning up. And to have our date.”


“I am already here. I see little reason to depart now.” Spock paused. “Unless you no longer have any desire to pursue things between us.”

“Believe me, I have all kinds of desires.”

Spock stepped inside and closed the door.

“Then one could say you are wasting time arguing with me. Let us clean up the mess and then make plans to substitute the burned food with something else.” Spock paused. “And perhaps you should plan to vacate this apartment for the foreseeable future and stay with me.”

Jim smiled, feeling suddenly a lot better. Sure his tree was still gone and the food in the trash, but Spock was here.  And wanted Jim to stay with him.

“It is the most wonderful time,” he whispered.


“Nothing.” Jim grabbed Spock’s hand, leaned in and kissed him.  

I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas

Advent Day 20

There is a a novelty song with that title that never fails to make me laugh.

Photo by Element5 Digital on

 “Who the hell gets married at Christmas?” Jim demanded as he walked side by side with Bones.

“Your dumbass brother as you would call him.”

“Well. Can you blame me? He’s always pulling something like this.”

Bones eyed him. “Is he really pulling something? I mean maybe he just wanted to marry Aurelan.”

Jim shrugged. “But why pick that day? Sam’s always making it about him and now he’s even making Christmas about him.”

They stopped before a building and Jim looked it up and down. Two days before Christmas and his brother’s wedding to Aurelan.

Just as he was about to go in to view the place, a Vulcan was coming out.  A really cute one. Jim recognized him.

“Professor Spock.”

“Cadet Kirk.”

Knowing this was a wedding venue, Jim frowned. “Uh. Are you, uh, getting, uh, you know.”

Spock arched a brow. “I do not know.”


Jim hoped not. Not that he had a damn thing to say about it, of course, but he had the hots for Spock and Spock never gave him the time of day. He’d hate to think of Spock marrying someone. Other than him of course and now he was getting ahead of himself.

“I am not. A friend works at the venue.” Spock paused. “And you?”

“Nah. I’d never be serious enough to get married.”

Bones made a choking noise and Jim glanced at him to see his friend giving him a strange look.

Jim cleared his throat. “You know. With, uh, with anyone I’m currently seeing. Not that I’m seeing anyone at present. I’m not. I’m completely up for grabs. Well, not for grabs. But if you want to grab me—”

“Jim, perhaps we should go inside to meet your brother,” Bones interrupted Jim’s babbling.

“That’s who’s getting married. My idiot brother.”

“I see.” Spock nodded. “Good day to you then.”


And when Spock stared down at the hand that had, actually, grabbed Spock’s arm, Jim knew he should let go. Sure.

“Would you, uh, Christmas Eve. Would you want to have dinner with me? I could make you this zucchini lasagna thing.”

“You are inviting me over for dinner?”

Jim nodded, afraid to say too much for Spock didn’t immediately refuse.

“Very well.”

“You mean you’re coming?”

“I believe I said as much. Cadet.”

And as he moved away, Jim called after him, “Six O’clock.”

When Jim turned around and saw Bones was shaking his head.


“You do know Sam’s rehearsal dinner is Christmas Eve, right?”

“What? Damn. God, he’s just ruining Christmas.”

“You sound like you’re a character in a holiday special,” Bones said dryly. “You’ll figure it out.”

“Right. I think they can do that rehearsal without me.”


“I can’t help it. I just go nuts at Christmas.”

“If only it was just Christmas. Come on, we’re late.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

It’s a Marshmallow World

Advent Day 17

 Jim stopped before the sign that read on the door Cookie Competition. He smiled and glanced at the message  he’d received. Yep, this was definitely the place.

He pushed the door open and entered the building. He could see his mom’s station toward the back, so he headed there.

“How’s it going, Mom?”

She clapped. “Jim! You made it. You tell me, how do they look?”

He surveyed her marshmallow cookie creations. She’d made some into the shape of igloos and then made penguins and polar bears. They were adorable.

“Fantastic. They look great. Who’s your biggest competition?”

“See that lady at the end there with the scarf and the Vulcan hovering beside her?”

Jim looked and his heart stilled. Oh yeah, he was well familiar with that Vulcan.  


“Uh. Yeah. I’m sure yours are better. What’s she making?”

“Spice cookies but she has it all beautifully decorated with poinsettias and cardinals.”

Jim bit his lip. “I’ll go swing by.”

“Okay, but be inconspicuous!” she called after him.

“Fat chance,” he muttered.

He saddled up to their display and checked it out while the pair were speaking to someone else.

Jim had to admit the lady’s work was very elegant and pretty compared to his mom’s cutesy stuff. A moment later, the Vulcan moved to stand beside him, hands linked behind his back.

“You, uh, were gone when I woke,” Jim said out of the side of his mouth.

“I had to teach an early morning class. It was no reflection on you and our…activities.”

Jim’s lips twitched. “That’s good to know as I’d like to have more of those activities.”

“As would I.”

“Your mother?”

“Indeed. And yours?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. She’s here for Christmas and decided to enter this competition.”

“My mother and father are currently here also.”

“Maybe we should have a get together,” Jim said, turning to Spock. ”Your mom does beautiful work.” He paused. “Just like her son.”

Spock arched a brow. “I will see you after the competition.”

“Maybe my mom will win the cutest and your mom the prettiest.”

“Perhaps. Dinner, Cadet?”

“Of course, Professor.”

Jim returned to his mom’s display.

She eyed him. “You were getting pretty cozy there.”

“Well, uh, turns out I’m seeing her son, that Vulcan.”

“Jim! You didn’t tell em you were seeing someone.”


“Well.” She crossed her arms. “I guess it’s okay if she beats me. Sorta.”

He laughed and kissed her. “Either way, you’re the best in my eyes.”

She hugged him. “And you for me. I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend.”

“Now, I didn’t say he was my boyfriend,” Jim protested.

“Would you like him to be?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I would.”

“Then I am sure he will be. It’ll be my Christmas wish.”

He laughed. “If only you really were Santa Claus.”

“Who says I’m not?” She winked. “Now, shh, here come the judges.”

Flash Fic, November 22, 2021

Photo by Engin Akyurt on

“Unfortunately, I have already made prior plans for that period of time,” Spock replied.

His newly established boyfriend, Jim Kirk, had asked Spock if he’d care to come to Riverside, Iowa for the short Thanksgiving break they were receiving from Starfleet Academy. Jim planned to take a shuttle to Riverside Tuesday afternoon and then return Sunday afternoon to San Francisco.

He’d explained to Spock that it would be him, his mother, and Jim’s brother, Sam, and his new wife, Aurelan. His mother had a new man she wanted them all to meet as well.

 Jim smiled at Spock’s response. There seemed nothing unusual in that smile.

“Oh, okay. No problem.” He paused. “Should I be jealous?”

Spock stared. “Jealous? Of what, Jim?”

Jim laughed then. “That you have plans with someone else.” He laughed again. “I’m only kidding, Spock.” He patted Spock’s arm just like he often patted McCoy’s arm, who at that moment was watching their interaction with narrowed eyes. “I gotta go. Got a class in three minutes and on the other side of the campus.”

“You will be late,” Spock predicted.

“Guess I’d better run then. Bye.”

And Jim was gone. Spock was left with a now glaring Leonard McCoy.

“Are you out of your Vulcan mind?”

Spock had no idea what had earned him that question and he opened his mouth to reply.

“That was rhetorical,” McCoy snapped. “Just what do you have planned that’s more important than Jim?”

Spock frowned. “The importance of my plans has little to do with Jim. It is a science symposium I planned participation in many months ago that takes place in Colorado.”

“Uh-huh. You don’t get it. Jim invited you to meet his family. That’s hugely significant. He has…issues. Family issues, personal ones. This is the first time his whole family has gotten together in, well, maybe never before this. He wanted you to be there. Everyone’s going to have a significant other there except Jim. Can you imagine how that makes him feel?”

“No,” Spock admitted. “Since my attending a symposium is no reflection on my feelings or lack thereof for Jim. To conflate them is illogical.”

McCoy pinched the bridge of his nose. “All I’m saying here, Spock, is you are on extremely thin ice, and you really ought to rethink your rejection of Jim’s invitation.”

“As it was merely a rejection of his invitation and not of him, I cannot agree that it is a cause for concern. My plans for this coming week have already been set for months and Jim seemed all right with that.”

“Yes, he seemed all right, I’ll agree.”


“Look, you figure it out, Spock. Or don’t. But in the next day or so, Jim is going to distance himself from you and you’re going to wonder why and don’t say I didn’t warn you. And I have to go too. I don’t have a class, but I am meeting someone. If I don’t talk to you again, have a good symposium.”

Spock watched the doctor walk away and with a shake of his head, Spock dismissed his words. He and Jim were fine.


Sorry, Spock. I have a bunch of stuff to do and can’t make it tonight.

Spock read the message from Jim in regard to their evening plans. Spock was disappointed as he had been looking forward to spending time with Jim prior to their differing plans over the next few days.

There was, of course, tomorrow night, which would be the night before their Tuesday departure.

Understood. Tomorrow evening then? I will make dinner at my apartment, and we can retire early if that is your desire.

Spock got busy doing other things and didn’t see Jim’s response for a while.

Can’t make it tomorrow either. Really busy. Sorry. See you after the break.

And that set alarm bells off in Spock’s head. Since they’d gotten together, Jim was never too busy for Spock and vice versa. Any moment of spare time they spent together and in fact, Spock was close to asking Jim to share his apartment.

Spock had not spoken in person to Jim since Spock had advised he could not make the trip to Riverside.

Jim is going to distance himself from you and you’re going to wonder why.

Those words played in Spock’s head now. He re-read Jim’s two messages a few times before typing out,

Jim, is something amiss?

No, why?

And Spock, prior to his “warning” from McCoy would have just accepted Jim’s answer on face value. But now Spock conjured up in his memory that smile Jim had given him when he’d said, “Oh, Okay.”

Now that Spock thought about it, his words were much more. “Oh. Okay.” Two separate words. Not “Oh, okay.” Which the more he thought about it, there was a definite difference, subtle though it might be.

Spock brought up the site for the symposium and found his reservation.


  Spock could see the look of surprise on Jim’s face when Jim arrived at his shuttle gate to find Spock standing there, waiting for him, bag in hand.

“Spock? What are you doing here?”

“I am here to accompany you to have Thanksgiving with your family.”


“My plans changed.”

“They did or did you change them?”

“Does it matter?”

Jim shook his head. “Except you didn’t have to do that, Spock. You had something else to do. No big deal.”

Spock exhaled slowly. “I found that I decided it was a…big deal. You are concerned with seeing your family over these next few days, are you not?”

“Well. Yeah. I haven’t seen Sam in…I don’t know how long. Years. I was surprised he was coming. And bringing his wife. And Mom. Anyway, I was okay with you not coming. I can’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to deal with me and my family.”

“Spending time with you is not “dealing” with you, Jim. In fact, perhaps, when we arrive you can announce that you are now living with me.”

Jim laughed. “I am?”

“I want you to.”

Jim smiled and leaned in close to kiss Spock softly, and though Spock did not care for public displays, he found this time, he did not mind.

“I can’t believe you’re here. Thank you. Let’s go.”

Spock turned to go through the gate with Jim.

“Oh and Jim?”

“You have nothing to be jealous about.”

Jim gave him a quizzical look. “Yeah?”

“You will always come first.”  

Flash Fic, November 19, 2021

Photo by Pixabay on

“You know you have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

Jim almost jumped when Uhura spoke behind him. He turned to see she was smirking slightly at him. “Huh?”

“Every time that Andorian girl Brooks brought talks to Spock, which is often, you tense up and get an aggravated look on your face.” Uhura shook her head. “He’s not even slightly interested in her.”

“She’s interested in him though.” He decided not to pretend she wasn’t reading him right. He didn’t like that girl practically invading Spock’s personal space. “And didn’t she come with Brooks?”

“He says they’re only friends. To be honest I think maybe she asked to come when she found out Spock would be at the dinner.”

“And that’s not supposed to bother me?”

“Right. Jim, Spock is completely smitten with you. She doesn’t stand a chance. Didn’t you make him vegan pumpkin pie?”

Jim nodded.

Uhura padded his arm. “Not a chance. Now I’ll go and distract her and you snatch him away.”

Jim smiled his thanks and watched as Uhura lured the Andorian away from Jim’s boyfriend, who Jim slid over to.

“Doing okay?”

“I am, yes.” Spock paused. “I am ready to depart whenever you are.”

Jim laughed. “Had enough, have you?”

“Not if you haven’t,” Spock replied diplomatically.

Jim glanced around, saw the Andorian was watching them with narrowed eyes, and leaned into kiss Spock.

“Now I am ready,” he announced with a wink.

Spock shook his head. “Illogical display of your claim.”

“You betcha. Let’s make our goodbyes and go home.”

Flash Fic, November 17, 2021

Jim sighed. “I just don’t get it, Bones. I thought I was more popular than this.”

He’d been sitting at the kissing booth for charity for hours and not one person had come up to kiss him. It was strange.

The Mid-November event was being held for the Starfleet Family Charity. When members of Starfleet died in action, their families were given donations.

“I’ll be right back, Jim.”

Bones walked away and Jim’s mind went to his plans for Friday night. All his friends were getting together for a Pre-Thanksgiving get together. Of course, some of those he knew at the Academy simply didn’t get while they still observed the old American holiday, but Jim did. It was all about gratitude and eating. There was always eating.

A few minutes later, Bones returned, chuckling.

“I know why you have no kissers.”

Jim frowned. “You do? Why?”


“Spock?” Jim was trying to figure out what his boyfriend had to do with it.

“He’s been paying them off.”

“He’s been…”

Spock appeared then, from another area of the charity even, looking not at all apologetic.

“Spock, have you been paying people not to kiss me?”

“Indeed. Since you belong to me it is inappropriate for others to kiss you.” He paused. “Even for charity. I have been keeping track and will donate what you would have earned. Now, however, the booth is closed, and we can leave.”

“Spock, you devil.” But Jim cracked up. He got up from the stool he’d been perched on and hung the sign that said Kissing Booth Closed. “I thought I’d lost my charms.”

Spock arched a brow. “I would have been fine if you had volunteered for the dunk booth.”

“Oh, great. You’d rather see me dunked into ice cold water than kiss others? Okay, okay. I get it. I probably would be the same way with you.” Jim leaned over and kissed Spock softly. “You’re adorably possessive, you know that?”

Bones shook his head at them. “Some of us have a date, so I’ll see you two turtle doves later.”

Jim didn’t look at Bones as he waved goodbye.

“Gotta stop at the store by the way.”


“Stuff to make pumpkin pie. We’re having dinner with everyone Friday and I’ve been assigned pie. I’m making it vegan so you can eat it.”

“That is very considerate.”

“I want you to have things you can eat.” He linked his arm with Spock’s. “Come my jealous Vulcan. I can’t wait to get you home. You can make up for all the kisses I’ve been missing.”

“My pleasure.”

Flash Fic, November 12, 2021

This one is a touch sad and begs for some sort of sequel resolution, so you might see one in the December flashes! Different kind of jealousy too!

Winona had always had trouble bonding with her son, Jim. There was the whole becoming a widow on the date of Jim’s birth, sure, but there were other reasons, mostly her fault, she knew, but Jim had always been…distant with her in a way Sam never had been.

Of course, Sam had left and Jim had not, but still, now she had reconciled with her older son, but Jim remained elusive to her.

Oh it was nothing outright. He called her Mom never Mother, he was always polite, if not warm, he smiled at her, if it lacked warmth, and never disparaged her to anyone.

Yet as she watched Spock’s interaction with his mother, Amanda, she could see the difference.

They were both there in San Francisco to visit their sons while they attended Starfleet Academy. Jim had told her all about his new, bourgeoning relationship with the Vulcan, and by the time Winona had arranged a visit, Jim had moved into Spock’s off-campus apartment.

To her surprise, Spock’s mother, Amanda Grayson, was also there.

Thus why as they all went to dinner together, Winona was able to notice the difference in how Spock was with his mother.

Even though Spock was a Vulcan, he was noticeably warmer in his behavior toward his mother than Jim was with her. Subtle little things. Nothing she could even point to if asked, but she felt it.

When they both went to the bathroom together, that was Spock and Jim, not her and Winona, she used that chance to mention her observations to the other human woman.

“I envy you,” Winona said plainly. Then she laughed and shook her head. “Who am I kidding? I’m flat out jealous.”

Amanda gave her a funny look. “Jealous? Over what? I can’t imagine.”

She sighed. “Your easy relationship with Spock. I’ve never had that with Jim.”

“Really? I don’t sense any tension or awkwardness between you.”

“Oh, nothing that obvious. Jim’s far too good of a boy to allow that to filter through.” She sighed again and leaned her chin on her hand. “I’m not making sense, I’m sure. But I know what I mean. Anyway, you’re lucky. I can tell how much Spock loves and respects you as his mother.”

A moment later, their sons returned, and they continued with their visit.

A couple of days later, Jim walked with her to the shuttlebay for her return to Riverside.  

“I’m very happy you’re doing so well with the Academy and with Spock.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

They didn’t say anything else until they got to where her gate was located.

“Maybe you can come home for Christmas, you know when your break comes next month.”

He gave her a vague smile. “Maybe. I’ll see if I can manage it.”

“I can get a tree. Really decorate it up. All your favorite foods.”

“We’ll see.”

She bit her lip. “You can bring Spock.”

His smile never dimmed. “Maybe. I’ll let you know. Looks like they’re getting ready to board.”

She knew that was her gentle dismissal. Yes, he’d been rather like that almost from when he was a small child and certainly since Frank.

“Jim, we’re all right, aren’t we? You and me?” she ventured to ask, even though she knew without a doubt he would say yes, no matter what the truth of it was.

“Of course we are,” he gave her the predicted answer.

She moved to hug him and she was delighted when he didn’t move away as he had when she had arrived for her visit. That had hurt though she had done her damndest to hide it.

    She held on tight to him while she could and she couldn’t help but notice how much like George he was. He even smelled like George. George would have been crazy nuts for Jim, just as he had been for Sam.

When she had become pregnant with Jim, George had been enthusiastic enough at the prospect that this one might be a girl, but she knew deep down he wanted another boy. They’d decided to keep it a secret until the time. And she wished they hadn’t because there would have been things they could have enjoyed in the planning for their second son that they’d never been able to do.

“You don’t want to miss your shuttle.”

Jim spoke softly and kindly as he always did, but that distant hint of dismissal was there just the same. Her heart twisted a bit, but she released her hold on him, and tried not to show him how very close to tears she was.

A silly, melancholy old woman was what she had become.

“I had a wonderful visit.”

“Me too,” Jim assured her and it even sounded sincere.

“I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

And she turned and went through the gate. When she turned back around to wave goodbye, he had already moved away, his long legs had already taken him far away from her.

“Let me do it myself, Mommy!”

Words she remembered him saying so often to her as a child. He never wanted her to help him.

Winona wiped her eyes, turned back around and went to go to he shuttle, praying that Jim would come for Christmas break, but knowing she would likely be disappointed.

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