I’m trying this again, a fan fiction site separate from the one I use on AO3. For now I’m not widely advertising it while I see what I do with it.
I’m posting a work in progress that takes place after Star Trek Beyond, called Where My Demons Hide.
I’ll probably post photos and stuff that inspire me. Right now I’m fixated on a picture of Zachary Quinto in the snow that I just have to use for Spock.
We interrupt our continuing story to give a sequel to the flash on January 16.
Jim closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his head back against the sofa cushion in his quarters just as Spock walked in via their shared bathroom.
They still maintained separate quarters, mostly because now Spock used his quarters for meditation and sometimes reports when he didn’t want to keep Jim up in Jim’s quarters, but most of the time, when Spock slept, he stayed with Jim in his quarters.
“Hey,” Jim greeted Spock with a weary smile.
“Are you well?” Spock asked immediately, concern in his tone.
“Mm. Just tired. It’s been exhausting working this all out for Bones, but worth it.”
“You will be glad to know that our guests arrived, and Doctor McCoy does not have any idea.”
“I am glad, thank you.’ Jim yawned. “I guess that means I should go greet them.”
“You can rest a little longer. You are still recovering from traumatic injuries. I welcomed them aboard on your behalf and they are settling in and preparing for the ceremony.”
Jim nodded and picked up the cup of tea he’d made himself earlier. He took a sip. He’d never thought he could get into tea drinking the way he had before Spock. But Spock had changed so much about him. Not that he had given up coffee. No way.
Spock hesitated and then said, “I have something for you.”
“Hmm?”
“I was going to wait but I think perhaps it is time to give it to you now.”
“What is it?”
“Given our deepening relationship, I thought it an appropriate expression of our commitment.”
Jim frowned. “Wait. Are you going to ask me to marry you?”
Spock arched a brow. “Technically we are already married.”
“In the Vulcan way, yeah, I know.”
“While I am not opposed to a Terran marriage ceremony that is not what this is.” Spock tilted his head. “I hope that does not disappoint you.”
Jim brushed that off with a wave of his hand. “What is it then?”
“I will be right back,” Spock promised, and departed through the shared bathroom once more.
Jim sipped his tea, wondering what it could be. He loved Spock like crazy, but it wasn’t like the Vulcan to be romantic. Sure, it was Valentine’s Day but as far as Jim knew Spock had never observed it. Jim hadn’t either for that matter, except maybe as a child giving his classmates Valentines.
Spock returned with a large square box that holes in it. And as Spock came closer to Jim he heard a distinctive high pitched squeaky sound.
Mewwwwwwwww
Jim straightened. “Wait. Is that—”
Spock set the box down on the floor next to Jim, reached in and withdrew a tiny orange kitten, which he then deposited in Jim’s lap.
“Oh. My. God. He is soooo cute.” Jim melted as he picked up the kitten and he started to purr instantly. “It is a boy, right?”
Spock nodded. “To be named as you see fit.”
“Where in the world did you get a kitten?”
“I had Leonard’s daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law bring it aboard with them.”
“This is…” Jim’s eyes brimmed with tears. “This is the best Valentine’s gift ever.”
“It is not meant to be specifically a Valentine’s Day presentation, Jim.”
He laughed as the kitten swiped a paw at him. “I know. But the timing is perfect. And I love him. And I love you. And now I’m going to want to spend all day, every day in here playing with this little guy. Damn it.”
He could feel Spock’s amusement through their bond.
Jim sighed. “We’d better go. Time for Bones’s surprise.”
****
“Jim, what the hell is this all about?” Bones demanded. “Making me come to the rec room. I’m a busy man.”
Jim smiled. “I’m sure you are.”
Mewww.
“Did you just mew at me?”
Spock stared at him. “Did you bring Marmalade with you?”
Jim grinned. “Well. I mean, how could I not?”
“Okay you two are even more nuttier than usual,” Bones protested. “What the hell?”
“Spock got me a kitten for Valentine’s Day.”
Bones eyed Spock. “You replicated a cat?”
“Certainly not. It was brought on board.”
“And that’s where your surprise comes in, Bones.”
“My what? Jim, I don’t have time for this nonsense.”
Jim squirmed as the kitten moved against his chest and popped his head out the top of Jim’s collar.’
“You really are crazy.”
“Bones, it’s time for…well…just come out, will you?”
As Bones’s daughter and fiancé suddenly walked into the rec room, Jim was satisfied to see Bones eyes bug out and that he was clearly speechless. Who would have thought he could manage that?’
“Daddy!” Joanna threw her arms around Bones who hugged her close. “We’re getting married on the Enterprise. Captain Kirk is going to marry us.”
Bones looked at Jim. “You did this?”
He shrugged. “Who else?” He swayed a little and Spock was instantly at his side helping him to sit. “Sorry I still get a little lightheaded sometimes.”
“You back in medbay when this is all over,” Bones said, turning toward the man who stood quietly by.
“Daddy, this is Mark.”
“Humph.”
Jim grinned and let the kitten swat at him with his paws. Spock sat beside him.
“Your plan was successful.”
“I’m a corny soft hearted sap at heart,” Jim told him.
Spock leaned over to capture Jim’s mouth with his own. “That I know.”
Jim hadn’t been to Orion in decades. Once in his first year at the Academy he and Bones had accompanied Gary Mitchell there and they’d had, well, an interesting time. But that was back in his somewhat carefree party days, which he’d long left behind.
He sat next to his mother as they made the shuttle trip there. He didn’t have any idea what to expect. His mother hadn’t expected involvement with the Orion father’s family, but Jim knew families were complicated and you never knew when one would come out of the woodwork and declare possession.
He hoped for his mother’s sake it would be as simple as she hoped to collect his cousin’s kids.
Not that he was looking forward to kids running around the farmhouse. Once he had established that his mother had control of things, he’d be headed back to his new life in San Francisco.
“Wasn’t she married to Spock?” his mother asked out of the blue.
Jim couldn’t pretend not to know who she meant, though the question was unwelcome.
“Yeah. They’re divorced now she says.”
“Mm. Do you…well do you have any regrets?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. I just know that love isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.”
She smiled faintly. “No?”
He shrugged. “I loved Spock. More than anyone I’ve ever known. Still do. And we tried. Or I think we did. I’m the one who ended it. But I think he would have eventually realized we weren’t going to work, too.”
“And yet he didn’t make it work with Nyota Uhura either.”
Jim sighed. “I probably pushed that. Them getting back together. I wanted…if I couldn’t make Spock happy then she should.”
“But she didn’t,” his mother said gently.
“No.”
“I sometimes wonder if that mission would have been better for you if you had still been with Spock.”
“Maybe. Or worse. In the end that’s what caused the break. My inability to let him completely in. I can’t. So, do I have regrets? I guess so. Maybe that I even tried. It made me want things I just can’t have.”
“Jim…”
He shook his head, reached over and squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, Mom. I’ve made peace with it. And I honestly wish they’d been able to stay together. But couples break up, I know that.”
“You and Carol.”
“Exactly. And now somewhere out there is a son I’m never going to know.” He sighed again. “So yeah. Maybe I should have avoided romance altogether.”
“You’re definitely cynical.” She squeezed his hand back. “Maybe you should check on Spock.”
“I could, sure. Maybe.” The pilot announced their impending arrival. “All right. It’s time to roll.”’
Uhura moved out of his arms and gave him a tired smile. She looked good, though. She wore black slacks and a camel-colored sweater with big gold hoops in her ears.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Jim told her.
“Same.”
He gestured to the table. “Join me?”
Uhura nodded. “Let me just get my drink.”
He slid into the booth and a minute or two later she came back carrying what looked like an orange soda. She sat across from him and gestured to the drink beside him.
“Shirley Temple?”
“I’m here with my mother. She stopped drinking a while back. She’s joining me shortly.” He picked up his whiskey sour. “Where’s Spock?”
She stared at him just as she brought the orange drink to her lips. “Spock and I aren’t together anymore.”
He frowned. “You aren’t?”
“We’re divorced. Last year.” She shook her head. “Didn’t he tell you?”
“We don’t keep in contact,” he admitted softly.
Uhura closed her eyes briefly. “Who told you about Pavel passing if it wasn’t Spock?”
“Admiral M’Benga. On-on behalf of Bones.”
She lowered her gaze, eyes sad. When she looked back at him there was just the barest wet sheen there.
“It was a simple enough divorce. No kids. No bond.”
“You guys didn’t get bonded on New Vulcan?”
Uhura rolled her eyes. “No. And I can’t believe you don’t know that either. We were going to, after you married us, that was the plan. But the Elders on New Vulcan said we weren’t mentally compatible.” She grimaced. “After that Spock retreated even farther away from me. We should never have forced the marriage, but I guess we all thought that was the thing to do at the time. Have one moment of joy after everything. Trouble was the feelings we once had for each other couldn’t be recreated no matter how hard we tried. And we did try.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, and he was. He’d wanted it to work between them after it hadn’t worked between him and Spock.
“You really should talk to him, Jim.”
He ignored that and forced a smile. “How are you doing then? I’m guessing you’re going somewhere since you’re here at the bay.”
She brightened. “I’m going to Alonder 2. I might not be with Starfleet anymore, but I took a position as a communications director with the Federation’s President. She’s sending me to Alonder 2 for a conference related to their possibly becoming part of the United Federation of Planets. Do you know it?”
“I’ve heard of it and its richness of minerals.”
“Which is why they are desirable to join.” An announcement came over the speakers and she began to scoot out of the booth. “And that’s me. We should really get together soon, Jim. I know how difficult it’s been with the others, but I’d like to keep in touch.”
He nodded. “Okay. Take care of yourself, Nyota.”
“You too. And talk to Spock.”
She hurried off then just as his mother came through the swinging doors of the bar. She glanced back at the way Uhura had gone and then joined Jim at the table.
“Was that Commander Uhura?”
“Former Commander Uhura, yeah. She works for the President now and is off to Alonder 2.”
His mom nodded. “I’ve got our bags packed and already on the shuttle for Orion.” She picked up her Shirley Temple. “Paperwork is in order too. And I have a shot for you.”
He finished off his whiskey sour. “A shot?”
“Orion pheromones can be dangerous and you’re a magnet for attractive members of both genders no matter the species as well as a magnet for danger.” She pulled out a syringe from her purse. “Stick out your arm.”
“Is this really necessary?” But he stuck out his arm, and she pushed up his sleeve and pressed the needle in.
“We need to stay focused on the mission, Jim. Get those kids and get out.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I know how hard that was for you.”
They were back on the road, headed to Cedar Rapids to the commercial shuttle bay for the shuttle that would take them to San Francisco and then one that would eventually take them to Orion.
It had been a gloomy visit. Warren hadn’t remembered his sister Winona, Jim or even his own daughter. But his mom had tried and her gentle patience with her brother had touched Jim.
“It was yeah,” she admitted. She glanced at him. “What about you?”
Jim sighed. “I can’t pretend I didn’t think about Chekov. But his situation was a little different than Uncle Warren’s. He ended up in a facility because he was catatonic. After that mission…” Jim shook himself. “He was too young for that to happen.”
“I don’t think there was anything you could have done, honey.”
“Logically I know that. I feel guilty sometimes. Not because of what happened, because, well, of course. But because when they notified me, he’d passed, I was relieved.”
She reached over and patted his leg. “It had to be difficult seeing someone you cared about and who you felt responsible like that, a shell of what he once was. No one would blame you for feeling relieved. He wouldn’t suffer anymore.”
“That’s what I tell myself. Everyone tells me there was no chance he’d ever come out of it, and I trust what they said, but sometimes I just don’t know how to feel. I don’t want to dwell on it but it’s hard not to.”
“Well, not many people dwell on tragedy as much as I have so I get where you’re coming from. Try to remind yourself, as I try, that he wouldn’t want you to suffer so much over it. You know? The best we can do is to honor who they were and how they lived. And not waste our own lives. Took me a long time to learn that.”
Jim nodded and looked out at the road. “Were you close when you were young to your brother?”
“Not as close as I wish we’d been, honestly. He was older by a few years. Thought I was a brat.” She laughed. “He was right. Here we are. Let’s hope it doesn’t take too long to get to San Francisco.
The shuttle from Cedar Rapids to San Francisco was uneventful. But shortly after they arrived, his mother stopped next to a bar.
“Why don’t you go in and order us something to drink? I need to get our tickets and a few other supplies we’ll need, so go on in there and wait for me.”
Jim frowned. “How long will we be there? I didn’t pack anything.”
She smirked. “I know. Leave that to me. That’s part of what I need to get. I won’t be long. And I’m not sure. I’m hoping at the most we’ll be there overnight and on our way. I don’t anticipate any problems.”
“I always anticipate problems.” Jim retorted.
“Yes, I know. Go in. Get a refreshment and relax. I’ll join you soon.”
With a grimace, Jim went through the swinging doors, they were made to look like old-fashioned saloon doors and headed for the bar counter and ordered their drinks.
He was just carrying them over to a booth when he heard his name called.
“Jim? Jim, it is you.”
He set them on the table and turned to greet Nyota Uhura, who flung her arms around him to embrace him.
You can expect two posts a week while this is going on. One will always be Friday but the others will vary. Here is number 2
“First we need to go to Cedar Rapids,” his mother explained as they left Riverside in her hover car. “The commercial shuttles in Riverside don’t go to San Francisco but the ones there do. From San Francisco we can get one to Orion.”
“Right.”
“But first we have to make a stop in Iowa City.”
Jim glanced her way. “What for?”
“To see Warren.”
His mind blanked. “Warren?”
She sighed. “My brother. At his assisted facility.”
Jim sank lower into the seat and looked out the window. “Sorry, Mom. I know I keep saying that…but…I should have paid more attention to our family.”
“No,” she said softly. “It’s my fault. When your dad was killed I gave up on life. For far too long I lived in my own head.”
“I sure know what that’s like.”
She patted his leg. “I made a lot of mistakes, honey. I distanced myself from my family so no wonder you don’t remember any of them. And I lost Sam because of my foolishness.”
Jim smiled wistfully. “He’s out there somewhere, Mom.”
“And don’t get my started on my very much ex-husband. I put up with his shit for too long. And we all lived to regret it.”
“We can’t change the past, Mom. But we can work on a better future.”
She smiled and nodded. “Yes. And part of that is telling Warren we’re getting his grandkids. Look, I know he probably won’t even know we’re there but I have to try and tell him. I owe him. You know my brother and his wife, Caroline, offered to take you and Sammy when I couldn’t handle things.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I stupidly said no. Instead I saddled you with Frank.”
“May he rest in peace,” Jim muttered.
She looked at him quickly. “He’s not dead.” She paused. “Is he?”
He shrugged. “One can hope.”
“So Iowa City is up first. We should be there in no time.”
“Weren’t they living in Nebraska or something?”
She laughed. “That’s right. So you remember something. But after Caroline passed and Melanie left to Orion, I wanted my brother in a place closer to me.”
“Gotcha.” Jim sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t do well with kids.”
“You do fine.”
“No. I feel…lost. Like I have no idea what to do with them. How old are Melanie’s kids anyway?”
“Brick is nine and Isabella is seven.”
“Brick?”
His mother shrugged.
“Why did she kill her husband?”
“I really don’t know. I haven’t heard from Melanie in years. Well, I hadn’t until she contacted me after she got arrested and asked me to come for the kids.”
The sign for Iowa City came up and after a couple of more signs, she got off the highway. Eventually she pulled up in front of a huge facility that resembled a Gothic mansion.
“Fancy,” Jim commented as he got out of the hover car.
“I wanted some place nice. The gardens are amazing.” She hesitated. “You don’t have to come in to see him. You can wait out in the lobby or something.”
Jim frowned as he opened the door for her to enter. “Why would I do that?’
“In case…considering what happened on that last mission with—”
“It’s okay, Mom. I can handle this,” Jim assured her gently.
“If you’re sure. I wouldn’t want to upset you. Make you think of…” She trailed off and bit her lip. “I won’t. Let’s go see your brother.”
So I got an idea for a story that if I posted it on AO3 right now they’d come after me with pitchforks because I’m not updating the stories there right now. So I decided to post it here on the blog for several weeks (minus February 14th which will be as previously reference related to last week’s flash).
So it’s a continuing story with a somewhat more mature cast (as the actors themselves are really) so I hope you will bear with me while I post it here. Thank you.
“Wake up, sleepyhead.”
Jim opened one eye to peer wearily at the cheerful visage of his mother.
“What’s up?”
“You are hopefully. Come on, up and at ‘em. We have things to do.”
Jim blinked. “We do?”
“Yes.” She pulled off his covers. “Up you go. And while you’re at it, shower. You’re starting to stink.”
He frowned and sat up, glancing toward the window of his childhood room. At least it wasn’t snowing.
“What time is it?”
“Just past seven. But we have a long trip ahead of us. And shave while you’re at it. You’re looking scruffy.”
Before he could question his mother further, or argue if he wanted to, she was out of the room and heading back downstairs.
With a sigh, Jim scrubbed his face and got out of bed. He headed for the bathroom and turned the shower on.
When he came down thirty minutes later, showered, shaved and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt she had coffee ready for him, which he gratefully accepted.
“Where are we going exactly?” He took a large swallow of his coffee.
“To pick up Melanie’s kids.”
“Who is Melanie?”
She gave him a look that oozed disapproval. “Your cousin. My brother’s daughter.”
He wracked his brain trying to remember her but couldn’t. He wouldn’t have seen in her in decades so he cut himself some slack.
“So, uh, why exactly?”
“They need someone to take care of them and I guess that’s going to be me. So I have to go. And I can’t leave you here by yourself so you’re going with me.”
He drank more coffee. “You could, you know.”
“Not in the state you’re in. And anyway it would do you good to get out and about. You’ve been here two weeks and haven’t left the house.”
“I’ve been outside and to the barn more than once,” Jim protested.
“You know what I mean.”
He grimaced. “I’m supposed to be on vacation. You know. You’re not supposed to have to do anything.”
“Vacation my ass. And anyway ever since they took your ship, you’ve been like this.”
“Have not. Up until my vacation I went to work every day teaching cadets how to be swell in Starfleet.”
“Swell.” She rolled her eyes. “You know you didn’t want to leave space.”
Jim nodded. “I didn’t. But that last psych eval convinced them I should take early retirement, so I did. And they made me an admiral, so how can I complain?”
She put her hand on his arm. “We all know what you and your crew went through on that last mission, Jim. No one blames any of you if it became difficult to continue.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever. So where is Melanie that we have to get her kids?”
“Jail. Eventually prison when she gets convicted.”
“Convicted for what?”
“Murdering her husband. Stabbed him fifty times.”
Jim stared at his mother. “What the hell?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Out of her mind on drugs or something. That’s for her lawyer and the courts to decide. But unless we want those kids to go into foster care, we have to get him.”
He followed her to the coatrack where there coats were and grabbed his to put on.
“Wait, what about your brother?”
His mother gave him yet another look. “You could maybe pay attention when I tell you things. He’s in a facility now for memory care. After his wife passed, your Aunt Caroline, he started forgetting a lot. Turns out he has dementia. Melanie’s the only kid they ever had. Her husband’s folks passed years ago. So, we’re it. Or I am, anyway.”
“Sorry,” Jim said, sincerely. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
She hugged him. “It’s okay, Jimmy. I know how it’s been for you. I’ve packed a bag for you.”
“Where are we going anyway?”
“Orion.”
“Orion?” Jim was flabbergasted.
“I did say it was a long trip. Melanie was married to an Orion. Buckle up, honey. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
I am so behind on everything. I manage to get flashes done for here but that’s it.
The truth is I am in a bit of a funk. Have been for several weeks. I have had little interest in writing anything. I haven’t been this bad in a while.
Someone posted a comment on A Cup of Cheer today that hoped I would update soon. I hope so too and I appreciated the show of interest. I had so hoped to have it done by the end of December but this “funk” has been crippling me.
I hope to slog through it soon but I wanted to make everyone aware I know I need to get stuff updated. I do. And I am so glad any of you even care to see it. With so much darkness going on, we need escapism. Even if Paramount has no interest in supporting the gang from AOS at all. I still like to keep them alive by writing about them.
So please bear with me. I hope to update soon.
A little bit of hurt/comfort and perhaps a hint for a flash to come in February
Jim leaned against the pillow in his biobed, smiling faintly as he listened to his best friend rant. There really was no other term for it.
“And then she just announces like it’s nothing that she’s gonna marry this boy.”
‘She’ was Bones’ daughter, Joanna, and ‘this boy’ was a grown man she’d met while they were both doing residencies in a Georgia hospital, because Jo was following in her father’s footsteps as a doctor.
“That’s good though, isn’t it?”
“I’ve never even met him,” Bones retorted as he held his tricorder up to Jim.
Jim smiled wider and nodded. “Kind of hard to do while you’re on a starship.”
“And I blame you for that. ‘It’ll be an exciting adventure, Bones. I have to have you with me, Bones’. And look where we are now?” Bones gestured to Jim.
“I definitely don’t want to be here,” Jim agreed. A wave of nausea hit him, and he blew out a long breath.
Bones watched him. “Let me give you another shot for that.”
Jim just nodded, which should tell anyone how truly bad things had gotten this time. He remained quiet while Bones hit him with a hypo in his arms.
“Better?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Did I tell you they’re getting married on Valentine’s Day?”
“Good for them.”
“Do you know who else got married on that day?”
“You.” Jim chuckled softly. “Not everyone who gets married on that day gets divorced, Bones.”
“I know. Still. Pretty corny, don’t you think?”
“Come on. It’s sweet. She’s sweet. You should be happy for her.”
Bones sighed. “It’s just that her life is passing me by, Jim. When we started this whole thing, she was a kid.”
“We were practically kids.”
“And now she’s going to be a doctor and get married. Where did the time go?”
“Beats me.”
Bones looked over when they both heard footsteps, announcing the arrival of Spock.
“I’ll go see how those test results are going and I’ll be back in a little bit,” Bones assured Jim.
“Hey,” Jim said to Spock as the Vulcan approached. “You got a break?”
Spock nodded. “I left the bridge in Mister Scott’s capable hands. You look very tired.”
“I am, yeah. It’s okay though. Bones was telling me about his daughter and her fiancé.”
“You need rest.”
“I will, I promise.” Jim looked him over. “You look pretty wiped out yourself.”
Spock hesitated and then admitted, “It is hard for me to rest or meditate when you are not there.” He shook his head. “It is strange.”
“Why strange?”
“Prior to our relationship I did not stay overnight with a companion,” Spock replied. “During my time with Nyota, I would always return to my own quarters after whatever time we spent together.”
Jim considered that. “What makes me different?”
Spock stared at him intently. “Everything,” he said, almost reverently.
Jim smiled and accepted the touch of Spock’s fingers to his.
Bones returned. “All right, are you done with the mushy stuff?”
“Yes,” Jim said, while Spock said, “I am uncertain.”
Bones rolled his eyes and looked at his PADD. “I’ve got good news, Jim.”
“Yeah?”
“Your test results are much improved, and your vitals are stable. One more night here for observation and in the morning, you can spend the rest of your convalescence in your quarters.” Bones looked up from his chart. “I want you resting there for forty-eight hours with no duty at all, not even reports.”
Jim glanced at Spock. “That’ll put a lot on you.”
“It is acceptable.”
“We’ll reevaluate after that as to when you can return to light duty. But you’ve got to follow my orders regarding this to the letter.”
“He will,” Spock spoke up.
“Yes,” Jim agreed without complaint.
Bones pointed at him. “You rest.” He pointed to Spock. “You out.”
Spock curved his hand around Jim’s. “I will see you in the morning, T’hy’la, to escort you to our quarters.”
“Great. Thank you.”
Spock left and Bones turned to him.
“Lights out. I’ll check on you later.”
“Thanks. And Bones. Maybe there’s a way for you to be at the wedding, you know? Let’s talk about it.”
“Okay, Jim. Go to sleep.” Bones paused as he went to turn away. “Don’t put us through that again.”
Rated: PG in case you are, er, um…offended by the functions of the body, or at least mention of them.
“Do Vulcans fart?” Jim asked, inappropriately, sure.
“What?”
They were trapped in a cave. The only way out would be folly. The aliens that had managed to injure both officers waited somewhere out there.
Jim had his back against an uncomfortable rock wall that dug into his back with sharp precision. He held his phaser at the ready, should it become necessary.
Spock sat nearby also holding his phaser. He had green blood smeared across his forehead from his injury. Jim’s left leg was currently oozing blood also from an injury.
“Do they fart?”
Spock gave him a trademark ‘you’re a dumbass human’ look. “I am not having this discussion, Captain.”
Jim shrugged. “I mean, I figure they do. Because you know, you’re humanoid and all. And all humanoids have those, er sorts of bodily functions, hell, even animals do. When my brother and I were kids, we used to speculate about that.”
Spock pursed his lips but did not make an inquiry as to what Jim meant.
“We’d play this game where we wondered which alien species would fart.”
“That is ridiculous.”
Jim laughed. “Well, we were kids. Bored kids at that. We’d sit out in the cornfields at night, looking up at the stars, and wishing we were anywhere but there. With Frank. He wouldn’t come out to those fields, so we spent a lot of time there.”
“I see.”
“I’ve spent time in pretty close quarters with a number of Vulcans, including you, and I’ve never smelled anything. So I wondered. But logically I’m guessing you do.”
“You are delirious,” Spock said without inflection.
He laughed again. “No. Just…I know I’m going to die here and I’m trying to distract myself with idiotic conversation.”
Spock glanced his way, but Jim didn’t move his own head to look at Spock. He kept his gaze trained where his phaser was pointed…the entrance to the cave.
“You are not going to die,” Spock said quietly.
“Sure.”
“At least not today,” Spock qualified.
Jim sighed softly but did not reply.
“For the record,” Spock spoke up. “I have also been in close quarters with you and have never smelled anything.”
Jim chuckled. “Good to know. You know you’re funny. No wonder Uhura wants to marry you.”
“Nyota does not wish to marry me.”
“Since when?”
“Likely around the time we ended our romantic relationship two months ago.”
“I didn’t know that,” Jim admitted.
“Because you do not pay attention,” Spock told him. “You are deliberately obtuse about a number of things.”
“Name one.”
Spock arched his eyebrow. “Besides the end of my relationship with Nyota?”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Yeah, obviously.”
“You do not seem to be aware that I have been attempting to court you for two months.”
Now Jim did look at Spock, with his mouth hanging open. “You what?”
“I have made my point.”
Jim blinked and looked back at the cave entrance. “Well. I mean, for the record, you are very subtle.”
“Clearly too subtle.”
“Clearly,” Jim said dryly. “So, um, suppose we do make it out of this alive, would you…I mean…would you like to do something together that might be considered a date?”
“Yes, since everyone else believes we have been dating for two months.”
“Now you’re delirious.”
“Ask them when we return to the ship,” Spock replied.
“If we do, you bet your cute ass I will.”
His communicator beeped to life.
“Son of a bitch.” Jim fished it out of his pocket and flipped it open.
“Scott to Captain Kirk.”
“Scotty! Spock and I are injured. Can you beam us up?”
“Locking on to your signals now.”
Jim grinned. “Hallelujah!”
In seconds he and Spock appeared sitting on the transporter pad. Bones stood, scowling, nearby.
“Scotty,” Jim shouted. “I could just kiss you!”
“You probably ought to leave that soft of thing to Mister Spock.”
Jim looked at Spock, who shrugged.
Bones came to Jim, ordering orderlies to help him onto a gurney.
“Hey Bones? Are Spock and I dating?”
“For the last two months, why?”
Jim sighed, glanced at Spock again, and grinned. “I guess you are my boyfriend.”
Spock’s lips twitched. “So it would seem.”
Bones rolled his eyes. “Take them both to the medbay. Stat.”
“Bones, do you think Gorns fart?”
“That’s it.” Bones took out a hypo and aimed it at Jim’s neck.
“Nooooo.”
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 