With the last two chapters of The Swap posted this week, it’s finished.
I am now working on the next chapter of My Heart’s a Virgin. I hope to have it up by Friday at the latest. Friday will have another flash.
Thank you for reading.
He’d awakened in a bed, a hospital one, some time later, and Bones had fussed over him like the mother-hen he seemed to be to Jim. And Bones had declared he’d changed his mind, and for a moment, Jim had got hopeful maybe he would somehow avoid the hospital after all, only to find out, that no, Bones actually meant he wanted Jim to stay in the hospital at least two nights instead of the original planned one.
Again, Jim was too exhausted and pain-wracked, and perhaps more than a little sad, to argue with his best friend, and so, with an admittedly strained smile, Jim accepted it, and waited for Bones to return with some food.
He’d been staring toward the window of whatever floor his room was on for so long, wondering if his life would ever be the same again, and guessing not, when movement caught his eye and he turned his head back toward the door of his room, expecting it to be Bones with a tray of hospital food guaranteed to turn most people’s stomachs, but Jim had learned never to be fussy with food.
But it was not Bones. Or any of his friends from the Academy, as might have been his second guess.
Instead it was the older Spock, the Ambassador, who had entered his room. And Jim couldn’t have been more surprised, as he was certain he would never seen the old Vulcan again.
“Spock.”
The slightest of smiles as the old man approached Jim’s bed. “Jim. I am quite sorry to see you’ve been admitted to the hospital.”
He smiled in return. “Well. Blame Bones. He insisted.”
“It is fortunate someone has your best interests. I should have insisted myself when I saw you earlier. You were clearly in danger of collapse.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Spock shook his head. “But I do, since you did, in fact, collapse.”
“What are you doing here? I thought you had somewhere to be.”
“I have completed the task that I believed to be pertinent and I will be departing Earth for the new colony first thing in the morning.” He perched himself lightly on the bed, neatly folding his hands in front of him. “A few hours now, as I suppose it is already morning, since it has just passed midnight. I apologize for the late visit, and for disturbing any attempt you made to rest.”
“I woke up, I guess, and anyway, Bones is bringing me a little something to eat. I had an early dinner with Mom before she had to leave. But I don’t want you to miss rest just to come see me.”
“Vulcans need less sleep than Humans. And I will rest on the shuttle. You need not concern yourself with my well-being, Jim. It is you I am concerned over.”
Jim shook his head. “Nah, likewise. Don’t be concerned. I’m okay.”
He pursed his lips. “And Spock? Have you seen him?”
“No. Not since I saw him at HQ.” Jim scrunched his face up. “Whenever that was. He’s busy with his folks.” Jim paused. “Your folks, I guess. And getting ready to go to the colony like you, I’m sure.”
“Hmm.”
Jim smirked. “I don’t like that hmm. What does it mean?”
“I cannot say.”
“Don’t give me that ‘that’s for me to know and you to find out’ nonsense.” Jim sighed. “You sure are cryptic.”
“Out of necessity, Jim.”
It was at that moment, Bones came into the room with the expected food tray. “Now, we have…oh.” Bones squinted at Ambassador Spock. “Kind of late for a visitor.”
“Bones.”
“No, he is correct, Jim. I only wished to ensure you were receiving adequate care for myself and to find out of there would be anything you needed prior to my departure.” He stood. “But you are in the quite capable hands of Dr. McCoy.”
He frowned, glaring at Bones. “You don’t have to leave.”
“In fact, I do. And I am certain that both myself and Dr. McCoy want to see you get the much needed rest and recovery that you’ve been lacking.” He moved closer to Jim, reaching for Jim’s hand and holding onto it for a minute or so. “Do not let the admiralty bully you, Jim. They will attempt it, I assure you.”
Jim smiled. “I know.”
“And do not give up on Spock, Jim.”
At this his smile dropped, just a little. “Can I ask you something before you leave? I mean again. Obviously. You know since I already did before.”
“I am listening.”
“Did you…” Jim stopped, looked at Bones pointedly. Bones sighed and walked to the other side of the room, still holding the tray. “Did you ever get so mad at him that you…”
“Tried to strangle him to death?”
Jim swallowed heavily. “Yeah.”
“Yes,” Spock said simply.
Jim waited for more, but the old Vulcan did not continue. He opened his mouth to ask for additional information, but Ambassador Spock held up his hand.
“I thought I had killed him, and actually, was prepared to accept whatever punishment there was for me, but he was not dead, and he forgave me what occurred. I was not myself.” He paused, looked thoughtful, but did not continue.
“Okay.”
“There was also a time when he emotionally compromised me as required by the mission, and I fought with him.” Here the old man blushed.
Jim nodded. “Okay.”
“We feel very deeply, Jim.”
He squeezed Spock’s hand, which still held his. “Have a safe trip. And keep in touch if you want. All right?”
“I shall.”
And then he was gone, and Jim felt bereft again.
Bones walked over with the tray, looking sympathetic instead of cranky for a change. “Just some toast with peanut butter on it. Nothing too heavy until breakfast.”
Jim took it, gratefully, already biting into it. “Thanks. I mean I ate dinner, but I think I was too agitated to eat much or enjoy it.”
“Things okay with your mom?”
“Oh yeah. It’s just…everything.” Jim sighed. “I was supposed to go to a memorial for those that died because of Nero, including Gaila, and I just…it’s tomorrow.”
“I know, Jim. I get it. But you need to take care of yourself, no one is going to do it for you.” Bones grimaced. “Except me.”
“This is good.” He waved the peanut butter toast at Bones. “Thanks, Doc.”
“You’re welcome. Eat that, and then back down you go to sleep. Got that?”
“I got it.”
He entered his dark, empty quarters without any enthusiasm.
“Lights fifty percent.”
They came on instantly and even at fifty it seemed far too bright for his tired eyes.
“Dim lights to twenty-five percent.”
He stood in the middle of his quarters for a while, probably no more than minutes though, before finally deciding he could stand with a shower. His clothes were soiled with…with…
The door chimed and before he even thought about answering it, the door opened, and Spock stepped inside. He still wore his own soiled and messy uniform, and his eyes looked wider in his paler face than usual.
Jim stared at him, recognizing that his eyes were pooled with tears, but unable to do much about them.
“I promised his mother.”
“Captain?”
He blinked, dislodging a few tears with his lashes, feeling them wet his cheeks. “Ensign Styles. We…she was there, you know, when we picked him up when the Enterprise was ready to go out again. She told me to take care of him, make sure he returned safe.” Jim lowered his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t do that.”
“Jim.”
Spock was there in a second, less than, maybe, and he had his hands on Jim’s arms, on his forearms, holding him in place, but not tight, with complete and utter gentleness. He raised his gaze to Spock’s and what he saw there mirrored his own thoughts and feelings, somehow.
“Styles was not your fault and both he and his mother understood Starfleet service. There was nothing you could have done to save him from what occurred except perhaps leave him off the landing party and he desperately wanted to be on it.”
“I know, but I—”
Spock simply shook his head. His thumb came up to brush a tear off Jim’s cheek. “What did you dream of?”
“About us?”
“Yes.”
“It was stupid, really. And the only reason it really stands out was because it wasn’t a bad dream. A nightmare, you know? Which is what I have all the time. Not all the time, but—”
“Jim.” Spock shook him, but again, with extreme gentleness.
“It was you and me, just dancing, at a cotillion. Do you know what those are?”
Spock nodded.
“All dressed in old-fashioned clothes like you’d wear to one, I guess, and you were leading. I think I tried to, but you took over, whatever.” Jim smiled a little. “Then you moved us off the dance floor to the balcony outside and then we—”
“We?” Spock prompted.
Jim briefly closed his eyes, squeezing out a few more teardrops. He smiled again and opened his eyes. He put his hand up to Spock’s face. “We kissed. And kissed. It was…the best kisses of my life and it was all a damn dream, Spock. Then we started to remove our clothes, right there on the balcony, and then-then I woke up. And we went on the mission.”
“I see.”
Jim pushed away then, out of his hold, putting distance between them. “And now? I’m just dog-tired. Wiped out emotionally.” He shook his head, then frowned. “Was there something you wanted?”
Spock nodded. “Yes.”
“What?”
“You. To tell you that…I’m here for you. That I made a mistake walking away out in the corridor. But I won’t walk away like that. Not again.”
Jim swallowed and took a step closer. “I really need a hug.”
And he was even a little surprised when Spock stepped closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling Jim against him. It was kind of too snug and even kind of awkward. But it was the best damn hug he had ever felt. He closed his eyes and leaned into Spock.
“Thanks.”
“You are welcome, Jim.”
Jim wasn’t sure really, whether he should even mention it. In fact he was pretty sure he shouldn’t. He was wiped out, tired and sore, dejected, maybe, from getting his ass kicked, from losing two good crewmembers down on the surface of the planet. And they had families and lives separate from service to Starfleet, and one of the tasks Jim would have would be to write those families. He never knew what to say.
Spock looked wrecked too.
They’d been checked out by Bones, both of them, and they were fine, also, both of them. A few minor bruises and sore muscles. They’d refused further treatment and Bones hadn’t even yelled at them for it. Proof that his friend was feeling pretty crappy about everything too.
And why wouldn’t he? One of those dead was a medic from his own department. Jim saw the wateriness in Bones’ eyes before he tried to hide it.
So Jim stumbled a little as he stopped outside the door of Spock’s quarters, which came up first. Spock stopped too, because, of course, they had reached his rooms.
Jim turned to face his first officer, the words torn between being stuck in his throat and on the tip of his tongue.
“Spock, I…”
“Captain?”
“I dreamed of us last night,” he blurted out, before he could lose his nerve.
And he was greeted with that annoying head tilt and that blank expression that had made him want to rip those bangs off his forehead more than once.
“Doing what?”
Yeah, Kirk, doing what?
And just what was he going to say? Kissing and tearing each other’s clothes off? Breathing for each other?
“Nothing, Spock,” Jim replied.
“I do not understand.”
He forced a smile, tired and maybe sad, but a smile. “Never mind. It was just a dream. It’s nothing.”
Spock turned toward the door, stopped, turned back and looked at him. “Captain…”
“Yeah?”
“You did everything you could. No one could have done more. And the crew—”
“Yeah.” Jim nodded.
Spock returned the nod. “Goodnight, Jim.”
“Goodnight.”
“I hope you sleep well.” Spock turned then and went into his quarters and Jim continued onto his, alone.
“One thing’s for sure.”
“What’s that?” Jim eyes Bones, questioningly.
“I can’t believe it took you this long to see someone.” Bones sighed as he ran his medical scanner over Jim. “Never did have much sense.”
“It’s just a few contusions, Bones,” Jim said wearily.
He should have gone right to bed, really, but as he saw his mother off to her transport after dinner at Giuseppe’s, she made him promise he’d at least have Bones check him out. She was on her way again, back to her ship and her duties, and Jim had been lucky she’d been able to spare as much time as she had to see him.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” his friend grumbled.
The last few days he’d been surviving on adrenaline really. Certainly no sleep. But it was starting to catch up with him. He was leaning on Bones as his friend scanned him.
He’d been running around, crazy, ignoring all injuries since he and Sulu had made it down to Nero’s drill on Vulcan. It started there and got worse and worse. Now he was pretty sure half his inability to breathe properly was likely because he had some cracked ribs. The human body could only take so much, after all. And Jim’s could take more than most. Or he made himself anyway.
“That’s it, I’m checking you into the hospital.”
Jim blinked his eyes open and straightened. “What? Just from a couple of bruises and maybe a cracked rib or two?”
“Five cracked ribs, genius. And a cracked skull.”
“Huh?”
“That head of yours might be hard, but you’ve still managed to damage it. I want you in a hospital bed at least overnight so I can monitor you, and make sure you actually sleep. When was the last time, anyway?”
“Uh. The morning of the distress signal.”
“That’s what I thought. I don’t know how you’re still on your feet.”
“Sheer will,” Jim admitted.
“All that strangling damaged your larynx too. It needs rest. You need rest. Damn it, Jim.”
“I’m too exhausted to fight you, Bones. Do what you will with me.”
Bones shook his head. “You’ve got a wound on your left leg I don’t like the looks of, either.”
“Uh. Yeah. Monster number two.”
“What?”
Jim sighed. “You know, when Spock got pissed because I didn’t agree with his methods and decisions on the ship, he had me kicked off to Delta Vega.”
“I remember, yeah. Always did say he was an asshole, Jim.”
He waved wearily at that. “Anyway, the point is, there were these giant monster things there. The first one pretty much chased me around until I about had a heart attack, but the second one—”
“Monster number two.”
“Yeah. It managed to get a hold of my leg before Ambassador Spock got me away from it. It hurt. But I kind of have had to ignore it ever since.”
Bones stared at him silently for a while.
“What?”
“I don’t know.” Bones sighed. “There were just a few times you almost got killed thanks to him. And I know, he wasn’t himself.”
“He wasn’t. Bones, his whole planet was destroyed. He lost family, friends.”
“Uh-huh. So his reaction to that was to maroon the guy he’s supposed to love on some ice planet, possibly forever, if something happened to the Enterprise, or the space station on Delta Vega, and then when he finally gets that same guy, he’s supposed to love, back he tried to choke him to death.”
“Bones,” Jim whispered, shaking his head. He didn’t have the strength or even will-power to defend Spock just then. Wasn’t even sure he believed Spock deserved a defense.
“I’ll drop it for now,” Bones replied. He squeezed Jim’s shoulder gently. “Let’s get you admitted and into a hospital bed. Someone needs to take care of you and it looks like it’s going to be me.”
Jim smiled. A tired smile, but a smile nevertheless. Just as Bones began to help him down from the examination table, an ensign appeared.
“Oh. There you are, sir.” The ensign practically saluted.
“At ease,” Jim said, amused.
“Admiral Bennett would like to see you, sir.”
Bones snorted. “Admiral Bennett’s going to have to wait.”
The ensign looked shocked as he stared at Bones. “Sir?”
“Captain Kirk is being admitted to the hospital. You tell that to Bennett.”
“Bones, maybe I should—”
“Nope. Not this time, Jim. Doctor’s orders.” Jim nodded, took a step, then pitched forward onto the floor.
Happy Birthday Jamie!
The past…
Jim rested his hand on the round bump of his stomach. Swallowing down the bile that rose to his throat, he sat down heavily in the chair in their home…his home…on New Vulcan.
“Has passed away after a sudden illness.”
He said the words out loud three times before they did anything but sit on his tongue.
It could not be. How was he to do this? Raise a child he had never been sure if he could handle with Spock and now…
(The Present) Six years later…
“Father.”
“Hmm?” Jim leaned up to reach into the cabinet for the colander to drain the spaghetti he was making for them.
“There is a Vulcan at the door.”
Jim frowned and dropped down flat on his feet, colander momentarily forgotten. He turned to stare at his son, mussy dark hair, bright blue eyes and pointy ears.
“What?”
George sighed. “Didn’t you hear the doorbell?”
“No.” Jim turned off the heat under the boiling spaghetti. “Who is it?”
“A Vulcan.”
“Did he say his name?”
His son nodded. “He said to tell you that his name is Spock and that you once served on the Enterprise together.” George frowned. “He looks a little like those pictures you showed me of Sa-mekh. Younger.”
“Oh.” Jim swallowed and set the wooden spoon on the counter and walked out of the kitchen. Sure enough standing in the front hallway of their house in San Francisco stood his former first officer, Commander Spock. “Hey, Spock.”
Spock tilted his head. “Jim.”
George came close to Jim, so Jim put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Um. This is my son with um…”
“Yes. I surmised. He resembles you.” Spock paused. “And him.”
“Would you, um, like to stay for dinner?”
“We’re having spaghetti with mushroom marinara,” George said, eyeing Spock curiously.
“That does sound appealing.”
“And garlic bread.”
Jim smiled. “Yes. Is Uhura with you?”
Spock shook his head. “We are…no longer together.”
“I’m sorry.” He exhaled quietly. “Everything all right?”
“Yes, Jim.” Spock paused again. “I…wished to see you. I hope that is okay.”
Jim smiled. “Does that mean you’re staying for dinner?”
Spock nodded. “It does. Thank you.”
George stepped forward. “Want to see my toy starship?”
Spock bent down to look at the model George offered him. “I would, indeed.”
“I’d better put extra garlic bread on,” Jim announced. “George eats a lot.”
The Crew knows (inspired by my own work meetings). This could be TOS or AOS honestly
“Oh, God, not the snorefest,” Havers complained to his friend, Phillips. “Every month we have this damn conference with the captain where he drones on and on about shit I just don’t care about. Once I tried to skip it and I got in trouble.”
Phillips snorted. “What I can’t stand is when he asks if there’s anything someone else wants to bring up because there always is. And usually it’s the commander. That monotone drives me nuts.”
“Or Mr. Scott going on about some stupid engineering stuff. You know when I was in the Academy I used to like that subject but he’s pretty much killed my interest in it.”
Phillips leaned against the wall in the corridor. “Then we’re subjected to an hour of Commander Spock gazing at Kirk like his words are drops of gold.”
Havers laughed. “You know why, don’t you?”
“Why?”
“They’re doing it.”
“Wow. Are they?”
Havers froze at the new voice. His stomach doing a sickening flip, he and Phillips turned to see the captain himself standing there together with Spock.
“Uh.”
“Perhaps it would be more produuctive to pay more attention to one’s duties, Ensign, then to participate in idle gossip,” Commander Spock said.
Havers straightened. “We’re both lieutenants, sir.”
Kirk smiled. “Are you?”
“S-sir?” he stammered, feeling his face heat.
Phillips took a step back. “Sorry, Captain. We’ll, um, we’ll get back to our duties.”
“That would be wise,” Spock said.
“Dismissed,” Kirk said curtly
As Havers went to turn around he saw Kirk and Spock exchange a look, with the Vulcan raising an eyebrow and the captain smirking. There were two things he knew for sure, next time he needed to make sure the corridor was clear, and yep, they were definitely doing it.
Chapter 3
They got a table at Giuseppe’s in the back of the restaurant, close to the kitchen, but Jim didn’t mind, because it had been where they’d sat before, all those years ago, and he was pretty sure his mom had done it on purpose.
“It’s been years since I’ve been here,” she declared as she picked up the menu. “I even wondered it if it was still here. Everything changes so fast. Are you going to have a drink?”
Jim thought about it but shook his head. “I think I’ll stick to iced tea or something. But head’s still really fuzzy and I’m so damn tired, I don’t think adding booze to the mix is a good idea.”
“Hmm. What did the doctor say, anyway?”
“You know.” Jim waved his hand vaguely.
She narrowed her eyes. “James Tiberius, are you lying to your mother?”
“Well. I’ve just been busy. And anyway, you can see that I don’t have severe injuries.”
“Except all those bruises around your neck.”
“Just a bit of soreness. What are you going to get?”
His mother sighed. “Do you know you’ve been like this since you were a tiny boy? Never did want me to tend to your boo-boos. And when you came back from Tar…that place, you didn’t want to deal with that either.”
“Lots of people came away from there a lot worse than I did.” Jim paused. “Or not at all.” He didn’t add her own husband being one of them.
After Sam left, and Jim lost the car over the cliff, Frank had taken Jim to Tarsus IV. He had a sister that lived there with her family. Eventually Jim’s mom was to join them there. It was supposed to be a new start for them, or so they’d all said. In the end, of the group of them, it had only been Jim and Frank’s sister’s son, Kevin, who got out alive. The rest perished at the direction of Kodos.
Mom got quiet for a moment, her gaze sliding over the content of the menu. The waitress arrived and Jim ordered iced tea and his mom coffee.
“Remember when we came here last? Well.” She paused. “Not the very last time. That was right after you returned and even then you wouldn’t eat much.”
Jim nodded.
“The time before that. It was you, me and Sam then.”
He smiled faintly. “Yeah. We got the biggest pizza they had and a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs.”
She laughed. “And garlic bread. Spumoni for dessert.”
“Sam threw a meatball at me.”
“Yeah.” Her gaze moved away, out to the rest of the restaurant. “Think he’s okay?”
“Sam?” Jim shrugged. “Maybe. He always did seem to land on his feet. He’s probably out there somewhere without ever a thought to us.”
“Mmm.” She put down her menu. “I think I’ll have the fettucine alfredo. All that cream sauce is terrible for me, but why not indulge? My baby is alive, and surely, that’s something to celebrate.”
He rolled his eyes at the baby. “I’m going for the spaghetti alla puttanesca.”
“Look at you, all fancy now. No more simple pizza for you.”
He laughed. “Well.”
After they ordered, his mom put her chin on her hand. “First time I came here was with your dad.”
“Yeah?”
“Ages ago, obviously. Back in our academy days, so we were babies then. And neither you nor Sam were even on our radar.”
“Bet you were cute.”
“George definitely was. When I first met him, he was seeing a classmate named Pamela Wenton. I hated her, of course.”
Jim laughed. “Of course.”
“Well, she had what I wanted. Or who.”
“I get it. I do. When I first met Spock he was dating Uhura.”
His mom snorted. “Oh, goodness. She was never right for him. He’s clearly interested in males.”
“Sure, but I am too.”
“Only males. I don’t know what that girl was thinking.”
“That he’s insanely hot and extremely fascinating.” Jim grinned.
“Yes, dear.” She patted his hand. “Obviously, the moment he laid eyes on you, he was a lost cause.”
Jim’s smile slipped. “Or was. I just…I really don’t know what to think.”
“I don’t know much, I suppose, Jim, but what I do know is that boy loves you. I can see it in his eyes. I recognize it because it’s just how I used to look at George. He’ll come around, honey. He will. Some things are just meant to be.” He tried to smile again, but it faltered a little, so he took a sip of tea, trying to ignore the burn in his throat as he swallowed.
This one is based on Eveningstar’s Prompt, Jim is drunk and confesses his love to Bones, and Spock overhears.
“This sucks.”
“I know, Jim.”
Jim leaned against the wall of the hotel.
“Let’s just get you to your room, all right?”
“Being in love with someone who hates you sucks, Bones.”
“He doesn’t hate you.”
“He hates me. He was going to leave the Enterprise.”
“To make Vulcan babies. And he stayed.”
Jim shook his head and then regretted it as the hall spun. “Not because of me. Because of her. They’re probably going to get married.”
He started to slip from the wall to the floor, but Bones held him up. “They broke up.”
“They’ll get back together,” Jim said, miserably. “They always do. Like a billion times. And I’ll be left with the usual broken heart.”
“Jim.” Bones stiffened. “Stop talking.”
“That’s easier for you to be so cold-hearted. You aren’t in love with Spo—”
“Jim. Be quiet.” Bones practically shook him.
Jim frowned at him and tried to push away from him only to suddenly be grabbed by—
“I’ll take control of him, doctor.”
Jim peered at him through hazy eyes. “Spock?”
“Yes, Captain. I’ve got you.”
“Listen, Spock, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Jim’s drunk and—”
“I am aware. Go back to the party, doctor. I will see that Jim is safely in his room and will sleep it off.”
“I don’t…fine. All right. But I’ll come by to check on you in the morning, Jim. With something for the hangover you are sure to have.”
Somehow the floor disappeared out from under him. He grabbed onto Spock’s shoulders to keep from falling and as they entered his hotel room, Jim realized that Spock had scooped him up bridal style.
“I can walk.”
“Barely.”
“You want me to walk while bare?”
“Perhaps another time. For now you will rest.”
Spock approached Jim’s bed and Jim put his hand on Spock’s face just as Spock appeared to be preparing to lower him to the mattress.
“You know, you’re beautiful.”
Spock’s mouth twitched. “Oddly enough I had the same thought.”
Jim nodded. “You think you’re beautiful too?”
“I think you are.”
“Where I come from, buddy, that’s a proposal.”
“You are from Iowa.”
“Oh.” Jim found himself deposited on the bed.
“You will be sleeping off your excessive alcohol. In the morning, we will be having a very long talk.”
“Submitting your resignation?”
Spock arched a brow. “No. I will get you some water, you will drink it, and then you will go to sleep. I will watch over you to see that there is nothing you need.”
Jim stared at him. “Why?”
“You know why.”
Spock walked away and over to little kitchenette sink in the hotel room. He returned with a glass of water.
“Drink.”
“I’m the captain,” he mumbled.
“Drink, Captain.”
Jim took a sip of the water. “Why?”
“I stayed for you.”
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 