For a moment, Jim didn’t know what to say. He was trying not to feel crushing disappointment and failing.
A huge part of him should have known because the truth was nothing ever worked out for him, not really. And he hated feeling self-pity, but he was struggling with it just then.
The Kirk family rolled with the punches. They let stuff just slide and learned to move on. This was what Jim had been taught all his life.
He forced a smile and nodded. “Okay. So, we aren’t talking about tomorrow or anything, are we?”
“No.” Spock shook his head quickly. “No. Definitely not that quickly.” He hesitated. “I am not yet sure of my end date here. At present it is…up in the air.”
“But you are leaving.”
“Correct. I will be returning to where I came from.”
Jim wished he had something stronger than coffee. Like a double scotch or something. A glass of wine. But nope.
Be a big boy, Jimmy you can do this.
“Until then, we can continue to see each other then, right?”
Spock blinked long and slow kind of like a cat Jim once had. Jim had surprised him, he could see that. And for a moment Jim thought Spock was going to say no.
“Yes. That is my hope. I do…I am sorry for not informing you of this prior to the commencement of something between us.”
“Sex,” Jim supplied.
“Yes, before the commencement of sex between us.”
Jim smiled a little then, mostly because Spock’s face looked so pinched a that moment it looked painful. Someone had to ease the tension here.
“The situation is far from ideal,” Jim admitted. “I was hoping for…well whatever. What I have is this. However long it lasts. As long as that’s what you want too, Spock. I can’t speak for both of us.”
“I want this,” Spock said simply, not elaborating beyond that, yet Jim was tempted to read something deeper there.
His smile widened. “Good.”
After dinner and clean up, Jim made the decision to return to his own apartment for the night, even though there was the barest hint of staying from Spock.
Jim wasn’t ready for that, not after the shock he’d just received. And maybe if this was temporary, he shouldn’t get to that point anyway.
“I get up early,” Jim said, standing by the door of Spock’s apartment. “All my stuff is there, next door. It’s just you know, easier to go to my bed for the night.”
Spock nodded. “Quite understandable.”
Jim leaned in to kiss him, which Spock returned the kiss with such enthusiasm, Jim almost dragged him back to the bedroom. He resisted though.
Jim opened the door and went out into the hallway.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” Spock asked.
Jim grinned. “Try and stop me.”