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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

Author

ivansfanfiction

The Love of a Lifetime, July 24, 2018

“Please.” Spock’s eyes were pleading. “Do not.”

“Spock, baby, I’m not trying to upset you.”

“But you are. Every time you bring this up it pains me greatly. As a Vulcan, you are my mate, my husband, my link to everything, until one of us dies. Asking me to put you away in some cold, stark, lonely place is like asking me cut off a piece of me.”

“I thought Vulcans didn’t do dramatics.”

“Jim. Please. My control is not what it once was and I—”

He turned away but not before I saw that his eyes were filling with tears. And just like that I felt like the biggest asshole in the universe making my Vulcan husband cry.

“Oh, Spock, honey, I’m sorry.” I went to him then, putting my arms around him. He hugged me back fiercely. “You win, babe. We won’t be separated. Ever.”

Ramblings of the Week, July 22, 2018

The start of another week is upon us.

And being Southern California,  we are in another heat wave. Hundred again. Go us. LOL

I got a lot done last week for writing, or at least I felt like I did. This week I will try to update When I Loved You, Idiots in Love, and Bonding. I’d like to get Anything updated as well but trying not to kill myself.

One of my favorite songs is Exile by Enya

Cold as the northern winds
in December mornings,
Cold is the cry that rings
from this far distand shore.
Winter has come too late
too close beside me.
How can I chase away
all these fears deep inside?
I’ll wait the signs to come.
I’ll find a way
I will wait the time to come.
I’ll find a way home.
My light shall be the moon
and my path – the ocean.
My guide the morning star
as I sail home to you.
I’ll wait the signs to come.
I’ll find a way.
I will wait the time to come.
I’ll find a way home.
Who then can warm my soul?
Who can quell my passion?
Out of these dreams a boat
I will sail home to you.
It haunts me. When I was much younger than I am now I thought about writing this huge epic medieval story set in Ireland. I imagined writing this whole scene during a battle where the main character’s best friend and fellow warrior is killed and this song would be playing in the background, as my hero sees his friend die before him. My hero, Duncan, would fall beside his fallen friend and weep in devastation. It should have been a movie or something. LOL
Anyway as I listen to it now, it could fit Jim, I think. AOS Jim anyway. I think so.
I spent a lot of my youth listening to haunting Enya songs. Even to this day my music choices baffle Milo because he thinks they are all depressing.
Anyway, coming up this weekend is the 92 birthday. Woo. Wonder if I will make it that long.
IMG_E3320

Bonding (Chapter Two)

 

The place looked pretty much the same since I’d last seen it. From the outside anyway. I know Mom had made some changes inside, as she’d told me during one of our conversations a few months back.

The farmhouse had belonged to Mom’s parents. Dad had never lived in it. Mom inherited it after her folks had died and that was after Dad was killed. During Mom’s marriage to Frank, he had decided it belonged to him. I recalled many times when he referred to it as “my house”.

While I was gone, on Tarsus IV, Frank had a massive heart attack in the yard here by the barn. He didn’t die then, but he became incapacitated, and Mom had placed him in a care facility for the remainder of his days located in Sioux City. I had never visited him there. Shortly after our battle with Khan, Frank finally left this world. Neither Mom nor I mourned.

“Everything looks the same from here,” I commented.

“It definitely is out here. I thought about changing around the back porch a little, maybe covering it or something, but haven’t gotten around to it.”

I smiled faintly. When I came back from Tarsus, Mom and I spent an evening out there on that porch, smoking cigars of all things. It was an effort at bonding. It mostly worked, I think. “I can probably help you with that while I’m here.”

I figured unless Starfleet bugged me, I’d stick around Riverside with Mom until the Enterprise was ready.

“Maybe the three of us together,” she said, as she led the way up from the car to the side door. We’d never used the front door as long as I remembered. It was a big monstrosity of a door facing out toward a group of thick trees. It was always kept locked. Nobody that ever came to the house came that way either, as if by some kind of mutual agreement.

She flicked on an old fashioned switch when we stepped inside. The first thing I noticed was that she’d put in hardwood floors throughout the first floor and one of those big fact cooking islands with a granite top in the kitchen. She’d redone the cabinets too.

“Looks really good.”

She flushed with pride. “Took me forever but I got it done.”

She had reason for her pride, too, for I knew she’d done the work herself. Once Frank was out of our lives, Mom had determined she would be man free for the rest of her life and quite self-sufficient. I was proud of her accomplishments and amazed at her talent.

“You can stay in your old room,” she said then. “Why don’t you go up and get settled and do whatever you need to do. I’ll make a pot of coffee and you can just come down when you’re ready.”

“Great. Thanks, Mom.”

“Jim.”

I turned back around to look at her. She was smiling, a little strained.

“I guess I wanted to say that just because Spock doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. You’re the best person I’ve ever known. Brave and smart and strong. You’ve saved so many people and you’re worth so much.”

“Mom—”

“And you’re cute besides.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Really, really cute.”

“Okay.”

“You’re worth everything, Jim.”

“You have to say that because you’re my mom.”

“Jim—”

“I’m kidding. I’m all right, Mom. I’ll get over Spock. I’ll get over this. Because I have to. And I want to. It might take some time, but I will.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

I went up the stairs two at a time and then down the hallway to the last room. The minute I pushed the door open I saw she’d made changes here too. The wood floors had been installed here and there was a big fluffy throw rug dotted with the night sky and the stars. It ran from under the bed all the way to the dresser. It made me smile.

She’d also put in a half bath attached to the room with a toilet and a sink. I’d still have to go down the hall to shower, but this was definitely nice.

I flung my suitcase up on to the bed and unzipped it to unpack. I took out my PADD first to send a message to Bones, per my instructions.

I made it. Not that there was ever any doubt! Mom picked me up and I’m unpacking now. She promises me all my favorites for dinner. She must really think I’m pathetic. Only thought about Sp…you know what? Never mind. King of Wishful Thinking and all that. Hope things are all right with you there and that Jo gave you a great big kiss and hug. Love you, Jim.  

Wasn’t even sure why I added that last bit. But whatever. Hit send.

I put the PADD away and then stuffed my clothes into the drawers and hung up some in the closet. Took a leak in the bathroom too.

Then I went over to the window and looked out. Leaning against the glass, I watched the trees and other foliage move in the wind. I could feel the tears threatening but I determinedly pushed them away. Wondered what time it was on New Vulcan and if Spock and Uhura were having dinner with Sarek, all cozy and all.

“Who cares? I don’t.”

I left the room then and went down to have coffee with Mom.

Bonding (Chapter 1)

Hello there. I have decided to start a new Blog Fic. Eventually, probably, it will make it to AO3, when much further along than it is now. It’s going to be very angsty to start with, so fair warning. This is a first person fic, in Jim’s POV, since I am a Jimmer.  I will post chapters as I write them, no particular day. Without further ado, here’s the first chapter.

INTRO_ChrisPine

Today all hope is lost.

Not that I ever really had any. I learned long ago that hope was for others whose last names weren’t Kirk.

Today Spock came to me to advise his commanding officer that he and Uhura were planning on officially bonding on New Vulcan prior to the launch of the new Enterprise.

They had reconciled after the events of Altamid and their connection was now deeper than ever.

I wished them well and declined to attend the intimate ceremony, advising that I had plans of my own, spending time with my mother in Riverside.

I departed on the next transport ship leaving Yorktown for Earth.

Bones had joined me, not with the intention of going to Iowa, but to make his own uncomfortable journey of spending time with his daughter in Georgia. We were both solemn and quiet.

We departed each other’s company, temporarily, in San Francisco. He would continue on to Savannah on a shuttle and I would continue on to Riverside. If he noticed I held on to him a little longer than I should have, he didn’t comment on it. With promises of keeping in touch, I got on the shuttle without looking back.

I typed a message to Mom, letting her know I was on my way, and she responded right away that she would pick me up. I slept on the shuttle, because there was nothing to do but drink or sleep, and my mood was too despondent to drink.

True to her word, she was waiting for me when I got off the shuttle. She looked good. Much better than the last time I had seen her. Less haggard and tired. She’d lost weight and even wore some makeup.

“Hello, darling,” she greeted me, pulling me into her soft embrace. And it was then that I couldn’t help it, couldn’t keep it in even one minute more. The tears fell. “Oh, Jim. It’ll be all right.”

I nodded and pulled back, wiping my eyes.

She smiled. “I have all your favorites planned for dinner. All homemade. None of this replicated crap.”

“You didn’t have to do all that,” I mock protested. Because I was glad she had and we both knew it.

She linked her arm in mine as we left the shuttle bay for her hover car.

“I have another surprise for you.”

“Uh-oh.”

“It isn’t bad,” she assured me. “Or I don’t think it is. Sam’s coming at the end of the week.”

My steps faltered. “Sam?”

Mom bit her lip. “I know you haven’t seen him since—”

“He took off and left me alone with Frank when I was thirteen,” I said. “Yeah, trust me, Mom. I know.”

“I want us to reconnect as a family again, Jim. Franks gone, thankfully, and you and I both have time, you before you go back out on the new Enterprise, and when Sam mentioned wanting to see us, how could I say no?”

“I could have.”

“Jim.” She said his name softly, sadly, and what else could he do but give in?

“Okay. I’ll try, Mom.”

She hugged him again and then grabbed his hand, pulling him to their hover car.

The Love of a Lifetime, July 20, 2018

And I couldn’t. That was the truth. I just hoped that when he arrived I would remember his name. His face. Sometimes all there was for me was Spock. If I forget Spock, then please just end this.

He was frowning slightly now.

“What?”

“Through the bond, I feel…you are distressed.”

“It’s nothing, Spock. Just a little…unsure. I don’t want to disappoint you or Suvoc.”

“That is impossible.”

“You know what I mean. My-my memory issues.” I sighed. “God I hate this.”

“Whatever happens, I will be with you until the end,” Spock assured me.

“I know and that’s what bothers me.”

“Jim—”

“I know. You don’t want to hear how I’m a burden to you like this. But I am, honey. And we both know it.”

Rambling Update, July 18, 2018

So what am I working on at present?

Well, I started the next chapter of Nine Lives. I feel like I need to move forward with this story. It’s been fun to write but Spock has been a cat for a long time now and I feel like there needs to be payoff here soon. So that’s where my thoughts are going with that story.

Otherwise I am preparing to begin penning/typing the next chapter of My Devotion. The other day I was looking at my statistics and there are a crazy insane amount of subscribers to that story. I don’t know if all of those people are still reading it but it was great to see the interest there anyway.

Everyone has their favorites and everyone wants those updated faster and next, of course, and I totally get that, so I try to update as in order as I can but also with the idea of current popularity in mind, which is why you saw some frequent updates on Idiots in Love.

As I indicated prior, though, I am coming up on a very busy month for me, August (not to mention expensive), so I will do the best I can. I am going to Solvang, the Hollywood Bowl, and San Diego, one right after the other after the other.

This weekend, I believe anyway, that I have it free. Thankfully! Then beginning with the last weekend of July (mom’s 92 birthday), I go in to the busy period until the end of August.

So anyway, look for Nine Lives coming soon. And we will see after that.

My thoughts July 17, 2018

First, I saw some poor guy on a motorcycle get hit by a car this morning on the way to work. It was AWFUL. Still shaken up by it. The guy was sitting up when someone went to him, so that was good. But it was just so horrible. I still can’t believe how close the car that hit him was following him. I witnessed it and I still can’t fathom how that asshole hit him. It looked almost deliberate.

Second, a note about canon. I’m going to lock this post from comments because I don’t want to get into any arguments with anyone and this is MY opinion on what is canon and I cannot be dissuaded from it.

To me what the original creator created is canon. So in this case of the characters of Spock, Kirk, McCoy, Uhura, Chekov, Sulu, etc, created by Gene, as created by Gene, are canon. As he created TNG this would be the same for those characters. Those behind DS9, Voyager and Enterprise created that.

In the case of the new movies, no Spock and Uhura being together is NOT canon. Gene did not create them as a couple. He created t’hy’la to describe the relationship between Spock and Kirk, whether you believe it was platonic or not. In much the same way, George T can claim Sulu being gay is not canon, because that’s not what Gene created, I submit the same for Spock and Uhura. No, not canon.

JJ changed it just like any fanfiction author has over the years. We can change what we want to suit our purposes too, but that doesn’t make it canon.

And frankly, I feel the same about Michael Burnham from Discovery. Canonly, she is NOT Spock’s adopted sister. While the original cast was still active in the show and the movies, Gene never created this scenario/storyline for Spock. In fact, Leonard Nimoy had already passed away and had absolutely nothing to be able to say in this. So, just like the other, I think the Discovery writers who decided to add her as Spock’s “adopted sister” is just the same as fanfiction and non-canon.

What prompted this? Well stuff on tumblr of course. I enjoy many aspects of tumblr but there is much to really dislike.

Anyway, thanks for listening, or not.

The Love of a Lifetime, July 17, 2018

Spock stared at me in that intense way he had always stared at me. As though he was trying to see into me, not just on the outside, and I had always loved it. I still did. And at least I remembered that much.

“What are you thinking, Adun?”

My smile was more genuine now. I took his hand in mine and curled our fingers together. “How much I love you.”

Those brown eyes warmed. People who bought the emotionless Vulcan stories were fools.

“It cannot compare to my love for you.”

I laughed then. “Want to bet? So when does Suvoc arrive?”

“Tomorrow.” Spock hesitated. “If that is okay.”

“Of course it is. Can’t wait to see him.”

 

Messing Around

Hypos

Jim flopped down on his bed in the dorm and groaned. “Oh my God.”

Bones was already rising from the bed next to him, reaching for his medical bag. “You’re sick? What happened? Someone slip you something? You get into a fight? I have a hypo for that.”

“No, Bones. I’m not sick.”

Bones paused, hovering over Jim. “Not sick?”

“No.” Jim sighed and closed his eyes. “I just had the most amazing sex of my life.”

Bones sat down and buried his face in his hands. “This is about sex?”

“No. Not sex. Sex.”

“I’m too tired for this. With who?”

“Uh. Well. That’s it.”

“What is it? And I know I’m going to be sorry I asked.”

“I, um, don’t know. But God it was incredible. He was.”

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