So I have learned something or decided something, I don’t know which.
But, I am never going to live up to the expectations of readers. There is always going to be someone who wants me to update a work in progress faster, always someone who wants me to write the story the way they want it done, etc. I am not going to be able to finish every story I start to someone’s exacting satisfaction.
There are people who likely become discouraged when I post something new rather than update something they want me to finish and that’s a valid feeling, but I have to do what I must do. I will continue updating as I do, by either spreadsheet or whim, because something calls to me, and I will either have people who want to read it or I will not.
The alternative to me writing and updating as is a personal experience for me is for me to quit altogether because there’s too much pressure or anger or disappointment in me. And I am frankly too old to feel miserable over writing something that is fun for me.
Over the past year there are several projects that I ended up deleting because I either felt pressure about them, lost the enthusiasm, or didn’t get the reaction I hoped for. I don’t like deleting stories I have created, because they are so personal. But on the other hand I don’t want to work on something neither me nor a reader is getting anything out of. I try to make this a rare occurrence but it does and has happened.
With the current WIPS I have going, I have no intention of deleting any of them.
I do have a Christmas story in the works and I also need to do an Old Married Spirk story at some point before November, so yes, more as yet unposted stories are coming from me. If you feel like reading my unfinished stories as I update them, I am grateful. If not, then that’s all right too.
I used to work so so hard to get people to like me and to be popular, I’d put aside everything in my own life to write write write. Because I thought that’s the only way I could do it. And sure, my work is definitely more appreciated than it was when I started, and I’m happy for that, but there will always be creators of fanfiction more appreciated than me, no matter what I do, and so I need to let that go. I’ll never be number one. That’s okay.
I’m working on finishing False Memories, hopefully to post tomorrow, as I won’t get a chance to this weekend. The Love of a Lifetime continues tomorrow. After False Memories, I still hope to write the next chapter of Bonding (the story here on the blog only at this point), and then move on to Where My Demons Hide. But neither of those will make it until next week.
Thank you for your continued support and understanding. I love my followers here, you are all my friends now, I like to think.
Be well!
August 2, 2018 at 2:41 pm
Haters gonna hate. Sadly.
Do you, Ivan. I’m glad you’re ok with where you are. I know (from experience) that it’s not easy to get there. Those of us who love your work are fine with the way things are. I personally love all your stories and the anticipation makes them better. Bc I can feel your passion for them in your words.
Keep writing and I will happily keep reading! And curse the people who can’t see your brilliance for what it is!
Great big hugs!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 2, 2018 at 2:51 pm
❤
My friend of years now. 🙂
LikeLike
August 2, 2018 at 4:07 pm
Everything Kris said.
I’m not good with words sometimes 🙂
I love all your stories. They always make me smiling seeing that one has been updated or a whole new story has been posted. I love the worlds you create with Jim and Spock and where you take our favorite captain and commander 🙂
I wish I could keep up with how much you post. You are a god with posting. I hope to be you when I grow up LOL
Big bugs, Ivan! ❤
LikeLike
August 2, 2018 at 8:26 pm
Thank you, Jamie. I just need to accept the way I am, accept that I have to write what I have to write when the ideas come and post on my schedule and accept that some readers won’t stick around. That’s okay
LikeLike
August 2, 2018 at 4:10 pm
I suspect you’ve got far more ‘fans’ of your work than you know – most people just read and don’t comment….but they still come back to read every time. I do.
I remember working in retail while at university and being told that if you do a good job, you’re lucky if you get any praise and even luckier if they tell one other person. But if they don’t like you, they’ll complain to at least 9 other people. Humans are born complainers – I’m British so I consider myself a pro at that!
Write what you want and when you want, the only validation should be that you’ve enjoyed writing it. As Baz Luhrmann said – the race is only with yourself. People making petty comments couldn’t write a bus timetable / let alone what you’ve achieved.
Screw em
LikeLike
August 2, 2018 at 8:36 pm
Hey! Thank you so much Elouesa (hope I spelled that right) for commenting. I do know there are those who never comment but I do know you are out there. 🙂
LikeLike
August 2, 2018 at 4:49 pm
I’m sorry you’re feeling a bit discouraged. Hopefully this new sense of taking care of “you” lifts you up. Never forget that your writing is exceptional, mo matter what the nagging thoughts are telling you. Discouragement is an ugly animal need. You’ve always been a friend to me. Thanks for everything!
LikeLiked by 2 people
August 2, 2018 at 5:02 pm
Or rather, an ugly animal indeed. (Thanks autocorrect!)
LikeLike
August 2, 2018 at 8:41 pm
thank you my friend. More resignation than anything else. It IS discouraging to get complaints about my characterization, which I know I do well, and then complain I am not updating fast enough. LOL. If you hate my characterization why care? Oh well. It’s all good. I will write what I want and update when I can and you are all great here. Thank you
LikeLike
August 3, 2018 at 1:08 am
Too many negative people just criticize as though it was their hobby or life’s work. If you don’t like something you read, move along to something else that catches your fancy. People having nothing good to say are deeply unhappy with themselves and project that on everything they see.
Write when your Muse strikes you… whether you stick to a spreadsheet or to inspiration it’s up to you.
Just know that your writing is appreciated and loved! Thank you for sharing your gift with us!
❤ ❤
LikeLike
August 3, 2018 at 7:08 am
thank you ❤
LikeLike