We’re closing February and love month with OMS
“You’re half Human, haven’t you got any goddamn feelings about that?”
The angry, irritated words spoken by Jim during the recent crisis stuck in Spock’s memory, like an old song playing over and over in your head.
Perhaps it should not bother him. He was a Vulcan after all.
He’d gone through the “trial” standing beside his comrades while they were judged, Jim being demoted back to Captain. Jim had been pleased, so Spock accepted this. Had it upset Jim, Spock would have argued against it.
Spock had spoken to his father before his father left to return to Vulcan and they had parted…well. A definite improvement from the past.
And still the way things had been left between himself and Jim nagged at him.
Jim had left his side to speak with the president of the Federation, but when he was finished, he once more found Spock.
He smiled faintly at him. “I’m starved, but I don’t really feel like going to a restaurant and being on display. The, uh, the apartment is nearby. Wanna go there?”
Spock inclined his head in agreement. He noted that Jim didn’t say “my apartment”, so Spock suspected it was a mutually shared residence from their time together. His memories were returning, albeit more slowly than any of them would have liked.
The air was chilled and they wore only their uniforms, having not prepared with overcoats. He was glad that Jim kept up a brisk pace.
Once inside, Jim ordered the heat on and Spock was grateful for the immediate warmth.
“Tea?” Jim asked.
“Indeed, but I will attend to it.”
Jim followed him into the small but efficient kitchen, and Spock noted the familiarity there. Yes, he’d been there like this with Jim many times.
But he also noticed Jim watching him, a contemplative look in his eyes.
“What is it?” Spock asked. He returned his attention to his task of preparing his tea.
“Is something wrong, Spock?”
Jim blew out a long breath and leaned on the counter next to where Spock stood.
“Just…I don’t know.”
Spock pursed his lips. “I have been thinking about what you said during the mission. Are you angry with me?”
Spock turned to him. “You seemed displeased with my reaction to certain events regarding the possible destruction of Earth.”
For a moment Jim’s frown was one of confusion, but then his expression cleared, and he shook his head.
“I’m not angry, Spock. I wasn’t then. Just…frustrated and irritated. Sometimes…I can’t help myself. It wasn’t any reflection on you.”
“Yet you used a colorful metaphor.”
“I did,” Jim admitted. “Ah, and I’m sorry about that. Like I said I was frustrated by the situation.”
“And my lack of reaction to it.”
“True. Sometimes, I forget, Spock, that you don’t react the same as me to what’s going on. I lashed out at that time because of that, but I’m not angry with you at all. I’m-“ He smiled faintly. “I’m grateful for you. And every moment I get to spend with you is special.”
Spock felt warmth blossom in his side, and he was, admittedly, in eminent danger of an illogical display of emotionalism. He looked at the tea before him to get control.
But then Jim touched his arm and that control eluded him.
“Spock,” Jim whispered.
Spock turned and allowed himself to be pulled into Jim’s embrace. Jim’s warm Human arms held him tight, and Spock felt love. Both loving Jim and having that love be returned.