Jim had loved November most of his life. He really had. The month had some of his better memories when he was a kid. For years, prior to his eleventh birthday, he would leave Riverside and travel to San Jose in California where his grandparents lived, his dad’s parents, his only connection really to the Kirks for the most part, and he’d stay there from November 01 to November 30th.
In those days, Sam came with him too, though already he had an attitude. He couldn’t understand why Grandpa and Grandma Kirk wouldn’t or couldn’t keep them full time instead of them having to live in Riverside with Frank, with Mom gone most of the time.
They’d never had any real explanation either. Sam had asked. Their grandparents had gotten silent and weird about it and it had been the worst of the Novembers they’d spent there, so the next November, Jim had begged Sam not to say anything, and to his relief, Sam hadn’t, and everything had been normal.
The year Jim turned eleven, though, that October, his mother had come home for a time and had taken them aside to tell them that Grandpa Kirk had ‘passed away’ as she’d said, and Grandma couldn’t handle a visit with them that year. That meant the previous November was the last time Jim had ever seen either of them, because Jim was sent to Tarsus IV the following year and when he came home from that nightmare and it became just him and his mom, no Frank, no Sam, no one, his mom had the task of informing him Grandma Kirk had died too.
For a while, when November came it only brought Jim sadness, but time brought distance from his sorrow, and he didn’t feel that way anymore.
“Captain?”
Jim looked up from the box of stuff he was going through in the basement. He sat on the ground.
“Are you down here?”
“Yeah, Spock, I am. Come on down.”
He smiled faintly as Spock’s footsteps descended the stairs. Spock appeared, still wearing the scarf he had wrapped around his neck earlier.
“Done with your walk?”
“Yes. What are you doing?”
Jim looked down at the box. “A box of my grandparents old things.” He shrugged. “I didn’t get much. Or I…didn’t save much, I should say. I was just a stupid kid when they died, you know? And I received these boxes. I didn’t open them for a long time, because, well I was stupid, like I said, and angry too. Because they died. Some were addressed to Sam, too. He was already gone though and…” Jim closed his eyes and shook his head.
Spock crouched down next to him. “What, Ashayam?”
“While I was gone to-to Tarsus…” He paused at the sharp intake from Spock, but the Vulcan wisely said nothing. “Well, Frank got rid of all of Sam’s stuff. He wasn’t coming back, not ever, and we all knew that. But he also got rid of the boxes from our grandparents. Threw most of it away without ever even opening any of them. Sold some stuff he did go through. When I got back from that place, I went through some stuff, and I was just, I was so messed up then, Spock. I saw so much horror, I didn’t care about anything.”
Spock reached for Jim’s hand then, closing his fingers around Jim’s palm. “I grieve with thee.”
He smiled a little “The point of that long rambling is to say that this box, well, it’s all I have left of them. It’s just…knick-knacks mostly. Mementos that aren’t worth anything. Like this.” He reached in and took out a marble seal. “When I was six, I wanted this. We were at a store, you know, and I asked for it and she got it for me. But I was six and the moment we brought it back to her house, I completely forgot about it. But she kept it. And it ended up in this box of stuff sent to me.”
“For her to have kept it, she must have found it important,” Spock said softly.
“Yeah. Sam was convinced they didn’t want us and that’s why we spent a month with them every year and that was it. But I-I’m not so sure. Guess we’ll never know now.” Jim moved to stand up and Spock straightened and pulled him up. “Hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“Let’s go into town and have dinner at Eric’s Restaurant. They have some good choices for both of us. And I need to get out of this space for a bit.”
“This house or the space in your head?” Spock asked, drawing Jim near.
“Both I suppose. Sorry, I don’t mean to be melancholy. November just gets me thinking of them. They were really all I had of my dad. Mom didn’t like them around much because she thought about him, too, but that wasn’t a good thing for her.”
He leaned down and reached into the box again. He pulled out a small stuffed white cat. It was yellowed now. It was that old.
“Yours?” Spock guessed.
Jim smiled. “Nope. His. Dad’s. When he was a little boy. She sent it to me.” He rubbed his chest. It ached but it was emotional ache. He blinked away the moisture in his eyes. “Never mind. I’m glad you’re with me. I love you. So much. Thank you for being here.”
“I will always be by your side, Jim.” Spock drew him up the basement stairs. “Come dinner waits.”
Comments
15 responses to “Flash Fic, November 01, 2019”
I wasn’t expecting sadness! But also so lovely. The love of his grandparents show through. And of course, Spock’s love for him.
I feel it in my heart. Well done!
LikeLike
Thanks! You know I had to have a touch of angst!
LikeLike
This is phenomenal. What insight into Jim’s heart.
And kids are kids. They’re not supposed to be able to realize the enormity of every action, every…thing. Their brains aren’t developed yet and won’t be for several years. And that’s a super good thing.
We look back and think we were stupid, but we weren’t. We were just exactly what and where we were supposed to be. But we ALL feel that way sometimes, I think. And, really, it never totally stops hurting. Thank goodness for all the happy and fun things in our lives that can distract us from fermenting in our memories.
I love November. More now than ever. The stress is gone (or at least the November stress that used to be from all the different jobs in preparation for December performances all around. One December, we had 10 performances, some paid. And that’s only school.). I’m content with it this way now.
I am.
And so is Jim. But he’d be a very different person, chasing after everything he chased in TOS, if not for Spock. We all owe Spock a LOT.
LikeLike
Well Spock certainly in this story but I think AOS Jim is just a different animal than TOS Jim. His upbringing changed him a great deal. I think he feels more deeply than TOS Kirk did, who as we know took a much longer time to mature in many ways than AOS Jim did.
Anyway, yes. Jim was just being a kid, never knowing what he didn’t know at the time, like all of us
LikeLike
I so agree. And yet something missing makes a man go woman to woman to woman. To convince himself he’s madly and painfully forever in love with a machine in under 2 hours. When Spock told Jim TWICE to keep his mind on the mission and not the woman. I watched it again this past week. I didn’t remember Spock reprimanded Jim twice for that. The entire ship by then was infected, according to Bones. They were all going to die. Time was about out. And Edith – the entire universe practically depended on them finding what Bones changed, and then to prevent that change. And yet he had to fall madly in love with this woman he wasn’t going to be with if they were successful in stopping Bones and returning to their time. He’s impetuous and immature and – sorry, but I think abusive with a sex addiction. No matter the excuses, it was at least 20% of all the episodes that he was chasing a woman, no matter how they excuse his actions for the mission. Obviously, in those 2 episodes, it was IN SPITE of the mission. Deadly, universe changing missions. Or at least Enterprise changing missions.
Chris/Jim didn’t do any of that, for sure. His experiences, in my opinion, made him a better person, and even younger, than the previous Jim. I’d not open the door to TOS Kirk.
I’d give my life for AOS Kirk.
LikeLike
Yes indeed. It did make him a better person. I think TOS Kirk having a relatively happy upbringing, Tarsus time notwithstanding, in ways spoiled him and made him more arrogant and frivolous. Obviously that changed in him with age, as we see from TMP forward, but IMO AOS Jim’s “frivolous” period was much briefer and he matured faster, despite the naysayers as you know! 🙂
LikeLike
You will appreciate this. I have a mousepad at work that has Spock and Kirk from Into Darkness on it. I had it done custom done (I tried having one done of Kirk and Spock Prime from the first movie but they screwed that one up but I digress). Anyway my co-worker sees it and looks down at it and she goes, oh he’s so yummy. so much more so than the original Kirk.
I thought of you! LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
All wise women think that! hahaha
I mean, seriously – Chris is a 10. Shat is a minus …ick. And the older I get, and the more I know, the more I feel that way.
Hi-5 her for me. 😉
LikeLike
(Thus my love for Chris/Kirk with Nimoy/Spock. TOS Spock deserves so much better than he was given. Especially when no one stood up to Bones for his mouth and insubordination. TOS Spock deserves Chris/Kirk!)
LikeLike
😦 Jim
I just want to hug him
Hopefully he and Spock can make new happy November memories together 🙂
LikeLike
He will!
LikeLike
Aww! Jim certainly does need a hug!
This is so sad, but I’m glad that Jim has Spock in his life now to pull him out of his own head. Hopefully they can make lots of happy November memories together! ❤ ❤
Question: is this set during their mission or is it OMS after it? I’m thinking it’s still during the mission because Spock initially calls out to Jim calling him Captain . Are you leaving it up to the reader to decide?
LikeLike
are you delirious from your operation? 🙂
This is the same fall guys that started in the summer have been displayed every Friday for a while. There are several parts already published with them. I had said they would be every Friday October, November and December. Jim confessed his feelings while they were under attack in a prior post. Then Jim is given leave to recover. Don’t you remember???? Apparently not. They are in the mission still, yes. And every Friday they are the same version of Spirk. I can look up the dates of their postings if you need it 🙂
LikeLike
(I hear ya. I don’t even have to be under meds influence to have to remind myself that it’s the fall guys guys pretty much every week! haha)
LikeLike
🤷🏻♀️
Apparently I’m delirious!
And the gallbladder operation is set for next Friday, unless the MRI on Tuesday evening shows there’s a stone in bile duct, then I have to go in to the hospital Tuesday evening.
Maybe it’s me trying to read a continuing story on my phone. I always try to go back to the previous chapter and reread it on ao3. But scrolling back here gets complicated, especially since this has no title… Every post, without a unifying title, seems like an unconnected one shot. So my delirium is all your fault! Lol! 🤣😆
❤️💚🖖
LikeLike