He’s pacing back and forth. He knows he is. In the old days they’d say he was wearing a hole in the floor or some such thing, but this was not the old days. And he was on a ship in the medbay, wearing worry and concern as surely as he was wearing his command shirt.

“I’ll com you as soon as he wakes,” Bones says for the tenth time.

He shakes his head for the same amount of times.  He’s digging his fingers into his palms and for the first time in as long as he can think of, he is grateful he bites his nails and the bluntness of his nails as it hits the flesh of his palms.

He goes over everything that happened down on the planet. It plays over and over in his head like the replaying of a movie. The moment when Spock pushed him out of the way to take the brunt of the explosion won’t stop haunting him no matter how much he tries to push it away.

When Spock groans softly, he flies to his first officer’s side, reaching it even before Bones does. Bones gently moves him out of the way, scanning Spock.

His heart is in his mouth while he watches. Spock’s eyes are open and Bones is murmuring to him but he’s not even listening. His entire focus is on Spock.

When Bones turns to him, Bones is smiling, relief clear in his eyes. Now it’s him who pushes Bones out of the way as he clasps Spock’s hand in his.

Somewhere in the distance he hears Bones talking to a woman, he thinks Uhura, probably checking on Spock. But he ignores them and stares into beautiful dark eyes.

“You’re alive.”

“Obviously,” Spock says gently.

“Spock—”

“As are you.” Spock shakes his head very slightly. “I do not regret it.”

He closes his eyes and leans down, touching his lips to Spock’s. And he is grateful that the lips are warm with life.