Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings


January 2021

Tuesday Guess the Fic, January 19, 2021

Photo by Anna Shvets on

Let’s try a slightly different approach to the summar.

In the first chapter, it’s Jim who helps Spock, after he unexpectedly collapses, but very shortly after, it’s Spock who becomes Jim’s hero, after Jim is assaulted.

  • hint, there was artwork created for this Starfleet Academy story.

Flash Fic, January 18, 2021

The roommates again…I might keep writing the rest of this month’s flashes about them so that when they are finished, I can post their entire story on AO3.

Spock stood staring at the message board for Academy Cadet roommates for far longer than he should have. It was an odd concept to Spock anyway. Archaic. And in all likelihood, he did not wish to trade any of those seeking a dorm mate with Jim. If he truly was going to vacate his dorm room, it would be for an apartment of his own, not for another person bound to cause Spock consternation.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

And speaking of…Jim had saddled up next to him and was now gazing at the board. He blinked a few times, and then, Spock clearly saw, plastered a smile on his face, and turned to Spock.

“You aren’t looking to ditch me are ya?”

The jovial manner in which Jim asked indicated that Jim was trying to be lighthearted about it.

But Spock struggled with a reply, because, indeed, he was.

The smile slipped, barely, but there was a tiny huff of breath. “God, you really are, huh? I was just joking but…”

Spock shook his head. “I am not really looking for another dorm mate. I am considering moving off campus to an apartment.” He hesitated. “I surveyed the board on the chance I would find a suitable replacement for you when I vacate.”

Jim tugged his bottom lip with his teeth. “Vacate? Well. Why?”

“When I first submitted my application for the Academy I was uncertain whether dormitory living was for me and had anticipated the point when I would prefer an off campus dwelling. I am not really a communal sort.”

Jim nodded at this. “Okay. Well, we can find an off campus apartment. There’s a building about a block or so down from the Academy. That would probably suit us.”

Spock’s stomach hurt. As it often did if he had to face something emotionally uncomfortable. Jim was certainly not making this easy. But then, Spock found that nothing was particularly easy where Jim was concerned. He simply could not continue living with a roommate he was…infatuated with…and did not share that infatuation.

Spock exhaled carefully. “I would not wish to burden you with the unexpected cost of an apartment.”

Jim shrugged. “Oh, I’m not worried about that. I can cover that.”

“But…” Spock paused, searching for words. “You enjoy the camaraderie that comes with communal living spaces.”

“Sure, but…” And then there was that little huff of breath that somehow made Spock’s stomach hurt worse. “Oh.”

Spock turned to look at Jim, fully, though reluctantly. Thus far he had been able to avert his gaze under the pretense he was still studying the message board. And now he wished he had continued to do so, because all openness in Jim’s beautiful blue eyes had shuttered like he had slammed down a door. Spock’s stomach pain increased tenfold.


“No, I get it. It’s fine, Spock. It’s just that…I thought we were getting along pretty well.”

“We…were. Are.”

There was the barest twitch of Jim’s lips. “And yet, you want to ditch me.”

“That is not…”

Jim held up his hands. “No need to fall all over yourself trying to explain. I know I can be a bit much. And probably especially for a Vulcan. But I-I don’t have a lot of friends, not real ones anyway, and I thought…nah, never mind. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. Just let me know when you move out, okay?”

Jim turned and began to walk away.

And Spock really, really ought to let him. But at that moment, he was so emotionally distraught and out of his element, that he almost doubled over from the pain. And he could not, would not do it. No matter how much in…infatuated he was with Jim.

“I wish for us to get an apartment together,” Spock called after Jim.

He saw the moment Jim’s shoulders tightened and he very slowly turned around. Those eyes were still shuttered which Spock found he did not like at all.


“Yes. If you will accompany me, we can go to that apartment building you mentioned, and select a place together.”

Jim stared at him a moment without a word. Then, “Are you doing this because you feel sorry for me?”

No, because I love you.  


Jim surprised him with a hearty laugh. “It’s cool. I’m totally onboard with whatever works. Let’s go get that apartment.”

And Spock found himself matching steps with Jim, who grinned at him, as they made their way off campus to find a new place to live…together.   

Flash Fic, January 15, 2021

This continues the ongoing antics/relationship of the roommates, Spock and Jim.

Spock’s crush, if that’s what it was, as he found that to be such a very odd term, hadn’t gotten any better. Or rather, resolved itself.

He had spent the better part of the Winter Break with his roommate, James Kirk, eating human foods Jim introduced to him as well as watching holiday entertainment. He had found himself very much enjoying their time together, but it never really seemed to move past a friendly camaraderie.

Spock was positive that was his own doing. He was not, as it happened, inexperienced sexually. He’d had a few casual sexual encounters both on Vulcan and Earth. But he wasn’t especially good at forming friendships and romantic pairings.

While it was true he had not come right out to Jim to express an interest in sexual intercourse, all Spock’s usual subtler methods had thus far failed to bring forth an answering response in Jim.

Normally, Spock might think Jim was simply not interested in male sexual partners, but since they had begun rooming together, Spock knew he’d gone out with a few males. He hadn’t to this point thought seriously that it might be that Jim did not find Spock himself attractive.

Winter Break was now over and they were back to their courses at Starfleet Academy.  Spock found that meant he saw Jim far less. Because of their different coursework majors, Jim spent study time in a different campus library then Spock.

Spock has told himself that this is a good thing, because it means he will get over this strange affection he has for Jim if he doesn’t see him as often.

But as he returned to their dorm one night, along the way walking from the Science Library, he spotted Jim and he was not alone. Jim was engaged in kissing a female Orion. Spock didn’t linger, but instead quickened his pace.

Once he was in his dorm, Spock brought up his PADD. It might just be time to request a new dorm. Or even to get his own apartment off campus. He had the means to do so, he had just assumed the experience of living on campus would serve him well. No longer certain, Spock contemplated his next action.

When Jim returned to their dorm a short time later, smiling brightly, Spock avoided looking in his direction after spotting the “hickey” along Jim’s collarbone.

Jim didn’t seem to notice. He went into the kitchen for some orange juice out of the fridge. “Want to play some chess, Spock?”

“Thank you, no.”

It probably came out more curtly than Spock had intended for Jim’s smile slipped, but he simply nodded and poured himself orange juice.

Spock had made the acquaintance of a Betazoid just prior to the Winter Break. After sending a quick message to him, Spock reached for his coat.

“Going out?” Jim asked, sounding merely curious.

“Indeed. I have a date,” Spock replied, though he wasn’t sure why he bothered sharing that information.

Jim blinked. “Oh. Okay. Will you be back later—”

“That is uncertain. In any case, goodnight, Jim.”

And though his night with the Betazoid ended up being physically satisfying, Spock returned to their dorm in the early morning hours…empty.   Flash Fic, September 30, 2020 Flash Fic, October 21, 2020 Flash Fic, November 06, 2020 Flash Fic, November 23, 2020

Throw Back Thursday

Don’t Walk Away was posted January 30, 2017


Spock watched his now former captain’s back as he continued to disappear into the crowd. He was certain that James Kirk had heard him, but had refused to turn around anyway.

For an undetermined amount of time, and didn’t that show exactly what was wrong with Spock, he stood there on the platform for the high speed train. His fingers curled against the palms of his hands, forming fists. And still he stood rooted to the spot, letting Jim leave without pursuit.

How had Spock let it get to this point? For certainly it must be his fault.

He was well aware he did not do well with emotions. He did not even always understand them. He’d spent a lifetime learning to hide them, no bury them even, as though they did not-could not exist.

This was not an easy thing for a Human to handle. They wanted affection and understanding and emotional comfort that sometimes Spock simply could not supply.

His relationship with Nyota had ultimately failed because he could never quite offer her what she wanted, what she deemed she was worthy of. And indeed, Spock had deemed her worthy of it too, but he could not give it to her. And though he still thought of her with as much affection and respect as he always had, they’d parted ways. Nyota had wished to pursue another personal relationship and Spock had appreciated that she informed him of this before actually doing so.

But he remembered that night, the first time he’d seen her laughing and dancing with Montgomery Scott. He had even suspected that was who she was interested in, and yet it had been more difficult to see them together than he had anticipated. He’d returned to his quarters and a few minutes later there had been the chime for entry that would forever change his life…nay him.

“Are you all right?” Jim asked, coming toward him, concern in his eyes so evident that Spock actually stepped back in surprise. “No, of course you aren’t. I can see that you aren’t.”

Spock was concerned that he was displaying some sort of emotionalism he was not even aware of. He opened his mouth to ask when Jim stepped close, put his hands on Spock’s face, one on either side of Spock’s jaw, and looked into Spock’s eyes with eyes that seemed to mirror Spock’s very katra.

“I’m sorry,” Jim whispered. “I know you hurt. I know you feel. You shouldn’t have had to see that. It wasn’t right.”

And before Spock even realized what he was doing, he was kissing Jim, devouring his captain’s lips, searing his own body to Jim’s.

For a while, everything had been exactly the way Spock would have wanted it to be if he had ever thought Jim Kirk would be his. Jim seemed to understand him in ways Nyota never had. In fact, in ways no one ever had. Spock had even begun to think in terms of eventual bonding. He had been reluctant to mention it still. Feeling his way. And before he knew it, the mission was nearing its end and Jim began to talk about a different future than what Spock had been envisioning.

“I don’t know, Spock. Maybe I’ll think about that position on that new Starbase that’s supposed to be even bigger than Yorktown.” He laughed. “Can you imagine? I’m tired, you know. That last year really kicked my ass. Or maybe, I don’t know, retire to Iowa or something. God, like I should do that. I just, I don’t know. I’m thinking about my options. What about you? Are you thinking of going to New Vulcan?”

And that was when it hit Spock hard. Jim didn’t want the future Spock did. A future together.

The last night, Spock had been on the observation deck, staring at nothing. And when he’d heard someone else enter he had suspected it would be Nyota. He’d been surprised it was not.


“What are you doing?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“With Jim. What are you doing?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, let me explain it to you. He’s running scared. That’s what Jim does.”

Spock shook his head. “Doctor, while I appreciate—”

“Don’t be like everyone else, Spock. Don’t let him walk away. You have to pursue him. If he goes to that Starbase or Godforsaken Riverside, you’ve lost. You won’t see him again, because he won’t give you another chance. He’s been hurt too many times. Don’t be the one he can’t get over.”

Now, Spock still stood where he was, watching Jim leave him behind.

“Take care of yourself, Spock.” Jim hadn’t embraced him or kissed him publicly like Nyota would have. Jim had never done any public displays of affection beyond patting or squeezing Spock’s arms. He’d told Spock once he didn’t want to make Spock uncomfortable and their intimacy was private.

Spock made his legs move. In fact, he began to run toward the direction Jim had left, toward the train Jim intended to get on.

As he ran he thought about what he would say when he caught up to Jim. He would start by asking Jim not to walk away. From him. From them. Not to let the fear dictate both their choices and their lives.

But as he reached the train, the doors closed and the train began its high speed journey away from the platform and Spock was left standing there looking at what might have been.

He could not believe he had let Jim slip away.

Spock bowed his head, closing his eyes.

“You want to move, mister?” An old man pushed him as he struggled by with a huge load of luggage toward the next train.

Spock inhaled deeply, straightened and turned.

James T. Kirk smiled at him, blue eyes shining as bright as any star Spock had ever seen.

“Going somewhere?” Jim asked in a voice soft and warm enough to thaw any heart, no matter its location.

“Affirmative,” Spock managed to say, his voice deep and gravelly as he stepped close to Jim.

“Yeah?” That smile that would never get old. Would never be tiresome. But in fact was like life. “Where?”

“With you.”    

Flash Fic, January 13, 2021

Photo by Julia Volk on

“Did you talk to Spock about it?”

Jim glanced at Bones. His friend was frowning, looking grumpy as hell. He then looked over to where Spock sat, waiting for him at a sidewalk café, at a table for two in the sun.

Sure, maybe this conversation should be a lot more private, but Jim didn’t exactly have that luxury. They were due to leave this place soon enough. And he guessed now was as good a time as any.

He nodded at Bones. “See you later.”



“You, ah, you want some company or need help or something.”

Jim smiled. Slightly. But he was sure it counted. “Nah. It’s okay. Thanks, Bones.”

Spock looked up when Jim approached. He was huddled around a single cup of tea, as though it was a heat lamp or something. Jim took the seat across from him.

“So.” He blew out a breath. “The divorce is final.”

“I see.”

Neither said anything else for a while. There was a breeze coming off the nearby ocean that chilled the air.

“How do you feel?” Spock spoke into the quiet.

“A little numb, I guess. I never thought…” Jim shakes his head.

“It was not your fault.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. She says she’s okay.”

“And your father?”

“Closed mouthed as usual. Says he’s got a farm to deal with, no time for reflecting. His words.”

Spock unwrapped one hand from the teacup and moved it toward Jim’s. He was a little surprised, but not unhappy, as he turned his palm upward to accept Spock’s hand covering his.

He smiled at Spock. At least some things were good. Very good.

“Come on. We should go. You’re cold anyway and we’re leaving soon.”

“Jim.” Spock’s voice is soft and gentle. Warm. “Their relationship not working out is no reflection on you.”

“I know.” And he does know.

“Or us.”

That Spock gets it…

Jim licked his lips. “I know that too. Deep down. I just…I really love you and I don’t want…I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“Nor do I. I do not believe that it will.”

His thumb stroked the plumper part of Jim’s palm. Warmth flooded Jim’s senses. Affection. And his parents’ divorce sucks. It does. But this doesn’t. And Spock’s right. As usual.

Jim smiled his first real smile of the day. “Come on, honey. Let’s go home.”

Tuesday Guess the Fic

After a visit to New Vulcan to visit with Ambassador Spock, Spock shows Jim just how jealous he really is.

Flash Fic, January 11, 2021

The moment Jim steps onto the bridge he is aware that everyone on the bridge is looking at him, but trying to pretend they are not. He feels the heavy, oppressive tension oozing off them. He feels it himself.

There are a couple of exceptions to those watching his entrance surreptitiously.

Uhura doesn’t even try to pretend she is not openly gaping at him. He ignores her.

And Spock. Yes. Of course he arrives before Jim. He is resolutely not looking at Jim.

That just annoys Jim more and makes his headache worse. It’s pounding at the moment and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’d already tried one of Bones’ usual remedies.

He taps his fingers on the console of his Captain’s chair and just as pointedly does not look at Spock.

It’s clear that, somehow, everyone around him has heard that he and Spock had a fight.

Admittedly this is not unusual. They met fighting really. And at times Jim feels good they’ve gotten at least past that. But they are both passionate and it is inevitable.

But this is their first fight as a romantic couple. Which admittedly began less than a month ago. Jim wonders if it’s over already. If he wants it to be.

Jim is aware the hurt and headache is making him irrational and that it is not the time for such decisions to be made or even to think of them.   

His new yeoman takes that moment to approach him. Her name is Allison Krenitz and she took over from Rand after she left the Enterprise to undergo engineer training.

She hands him a cup of coffee with a wide smile. She’s young and eager to please, Jim can tell. Besides he has never asked her to bring him coffee.

He takes a sip anyway and closes his eyes momentarily in pleasure. When he opens them, he smiles at her.

“This is perfect.”

Krenitz nods. “Cream and one sugar cube, just like you like it, Sir.”

Jim wonders vaguely if he has given her that information or if she just picked up on it, but it doesn’t matter, really, and takes another sip. “This is fantastic for replicated.”

“Oh, it’s not, Captain. I brewed it fresh myself.”

Behind him he hears a chair turn quickly from the direction of the science station, but he ignores that too.  

“Well, that’s very nice of you, Yeoman. But not necessary.”

“It’s no trouble, sir.” She hands him an apple. “You didn’t have breakfast in the mess this morning, so I thought you might need something.”

This time he doesn’t miss Uhura loudly clearing her throat and neither does Krenitz as she frowns in her direction.

“Thank you.” Jim smiles. “That will be all for now, Yeoman.”

“Yes, Captain. I’ll be standing by should you need assistance.”

When she leaves and gets on the turbolift, so does Uhura. Jim turns with a frown to look as the doors close on them. She hadn’t asked to leave the bridge and Jim is pretty sure it’s to lecture Krenitz in some way that’s not Uhura’s job or business. He’s aware that his communications officer is a buttinsky just the same.

Jim forgets about it for now, even when Uhura returns a while later.

After his shift, he returns to his quarters, ignoring hints from Bones they should have a drink in ten forward. Finally, he has to admit to Bones, reluctantly, that he’s just not feeling up to it.

Jim is surprised when Bones doesn’t push it.

He’s downright shocked, however, to find Spock waiting for him in his quarters.

Jim opens his mouth to either apologize himself or ask Spock to, and he’s not really sure which it was.

“I am the one who told Yeoman Krenitz how you like your coffee.”

Jim stares at Spock. “Uh. Okay.”

“And that she should bring you a cup each morning.”

Jim nods. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because she did not come up with this herself and—”

“Spock,” Jim interrupts softly. “There’s no need to be jealous over Allison Krenitz.”

“I am not jealous.”

“Or anyone else,” Jim adds. “I know you think I was flirting with the counselor on Rig—”

“You were flirting.”

Jim smiles. Spock looks affronted, sure, but he also looks oddly contrite at the same time, and somehow the look on him is adorable. Jim’s headache is less too.

“I want you. No one else.”

Spock’s expression slips, leaving him looking rather unsure. It’s a remarkably good look too. “You…”

He can see Spock has no idea how to finish his sentence so Jim walks up to him, puts his arms around Spock’s neck and finishes it for him.

“Are hopelessly in love and devoted to you. Yes.”    

Flash Fic, January 8, 2021

“How many times is this, Jim?”

“I don’t know, Bones. One hundred? You tell me.”

Bones frowned. “Not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. Bones—”

“Spock’s here, so…”

Bones moved away and Jim sighed, staring up at the ceiling of the medbay. He’d have to smooth it over later with his best friend. And hell, it wasn’t like he’d tried to fall off that cliff. Or take Spock with him. That had been all Spock.

“So, let’s go back to the ship and…”


And as the ground gave way beneath him, Spock charged at him to prevent the fall, and they ended up falling to the ground below…together.

Jim was just glad Spock hadn’t been as seriously hurt as he was.

Speaking of…

Spock was there now, by his bedside. He looked like a cross between concerned and furious. Jim didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.


Oops. Bad.

“Hiya, sweetheart.”

When Spock merely stared at him blankly, Jim had a panicked moment where he wondered if he had dreamed that he and Spock were a-well-a thing.

But Spock stepped closer, reached for Jim’s hand, and held it.

“Never do that again.”

Jim smiled. “Okay.”

They both knew he probably would. But still.

Spock leaned down and kissed him.

He felt better already.  

Throwback Thursday, January 7, 2021

The first throwback Thursday is Maybe Probably, begun in February 2019 and concluded in April 2019

I’ll put just a few sentences here and you can read the rest via the link above

Jim stepped into his quarters and stood there in the middle of the main room for a moment, uncertain how to feel or what to do.

His gaze raked over the space. Would it have to change? Did he have to get a bigger bed? Make room for someone else’s stuff?

Or would…would Spock even want that? Would he just want to keep everything the same? Him in his quarters and Jim in his. As though nothing at all had changed.

Jim had just been released from the medbay after being there for two days. Bones had said he could have forty-eight more hours. Spock too. Under the circumstances they were docked at Yorktown, because that space station had been closest to the ship’s location when they’d been rescued.

And Bones had…well, he’d had to contact Starfleet.

The thing was…this was the fault of the mission. Spock hadn’t wanted this. Jim didn’t even know if he’d wanted it. Sure, he wanted…something with Spock, but, um, well, he hadn’t really had all this in mind.

They’d been stranded. The planet had been strange. Stranger than any Jim had yet encountered and something, somehow, made Spock go into his time. And that time had been irrevocably with Jim.

Three solid days of sexual claiming. And during that time, their minds had connected, bonded.

When they’d finally been rescued they’d been wrapped up together, still naked, both of them. A tangle of limbs. Spock had been, at first, reluctant to release Jim to the crew, but then reason returned, he recognized Bones and Uhura and the others, and he let go.

Jim had not seen him in person since, but, oh, yes, he felt him. Their minds were interlocked. He got Spock’s thoughts sometimes even and he was sure Spock got his. And he felt the Vulcan’s emotions too. Confusion, irritation, anger. Jim didn’t personally feel the second two emotions, but yes, he felt the first. And sorrow and fear. Because he was both sad and afraid that this was the last thing Spock would have wanted.

Bones had healed Jim all over. Jim was fine mostly. Nothing more than some scrapes and bruises and soreness. And some of that was from being stranded there and had nothing to do with Pon Farr.

Thinking the words made his quarters hot and heavy somehow. Oppressive. He tugged at his T-shirt. He hadn’t bothered with his uniform just yet as there was no need. Bones himself had fetched these clothes for him as he’d worn a medbay gown while he’d been there.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.”

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