But I just love how much it goes into both of their childhoods. I really wish JJ hadn’t cut out the stuff about Jim and also Spock’s birth. I think Winona Ryder with baby Spock is a beautiful moment.
Feeling very Spirky/Trekkie today.
But I just love how much it goes into both of their childhoods. I really wish JJ hadn’t cut out the stuff about Jim and also Spock’s birth. I think Winona Ryder with baby Spock is a beautiful moment.
Feeling very Spirky/Trekkie today.
As we head into a new week, I find myself discouraged by plenty of things around me.
I’m not going to go into too many details but suffice it to say the amount of intolerance I see out of a great deal of Jesus’ followers is astounding if not appalling. I don’t generally get into that here, too much anyway, but I made the mistake of checking out the page of one of my relative’s friends and not only did she imply that McCain got brain cancer because he “threw down” with Liberals but she also said questioning your gender identity comes not from “God” but from “Satan”.*
Wow.
What would Jesus say and do? I am pretty sure I can say 100% it would not be what she did.
It’s times like this that I seriously question humanity and how long we do and should have left on this planet. I have to say, if I were God, I would not be impressed.
In other happenings, I did have a lovely family dinner Saturday for a birthday of 91 years. I had two glasses of white wine, and then one glass of port.
I need to find a way to make a couple of million dollars so I can quit my job and pay off all my debts. I know, we all want that.
As far as what to work on this week, I don’t know. I think I won’t post anything else today. I did post a new chapter of Primal Lust. I am sure I will work on writing at lunch and it’s likely either going to be on Didn’t We Almost Have it All or For the First Time in My Life I was Happy.
I hope the week brings more peace to me and I stop reading about and listening to the haters. Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off comes to mind.
*I am well aware there are plenty of people who do not think like she does. Fortunately.
A kiss under aurora borealis type lights

His captain seemed strangely quiet as they continued to explore the planet. Generally it was rare for Jim to shut up. Spock believed it was likely due to the personal transmission he’d received that day and though Spock had tried to hint to Jim that he would like to know what it was, Jim pretended not to take the hint. But Spock knew he was troubled.
The sky was becoming night as Jim stepped toward the edge of the cliff, he stopped, staring at the multi-colored purple and bluish lights that stretched across the sky.
“Aurora borealis,” Jim said softly.
Spock glanced at them. “The aurora borealis lights are the result of electrons colliding with the reaches of the planet’s atmosphere.”
“Spock.”
He looked to Jim, who he noticed was not looking at him, but at the lights. “Yes, Captain?”
“They’re just pretty.”
Tearing his gaze away from the beauty of Jim’s profile, Spock looked at the lights once more. “Indeed.”
He stepped closer to Jim so that even though they were not touching, he could feel the heat of Jim’s body.
His gaze on Jim’s face once more, Spock slipped his index and forefingers toward Jim’s hand. Jim didn’t shift his gaze from the lights but his hand moved an inch toward Spock, accepting the touch of Spock’s straying fingers. Their fingers touched and Spock stroked along the familiar knuckles. He heard the tiniest hitch of breath from his captain.
The captain’s communicator beeped. With his other hand, he removed it from his belt. “Kirk here.”
“We’re ready to beam you and Mister Spock up now, Cap’n,” Mister Scott said cheerfully.
Jim’s blue gaze finally strayed to Spock’s. It was Spock’s turn to catch his breath.
Jim smiled. He did not move his hand from Spock’s. “Energize.”
My current song obsession that I think goes marvelously with Jim is Believer by Imagine Dragons. Check it out for the full experience but here are some of my favorite lyrics.
I was broken from a young age
Taking my soul into the masses
Write down my poems for the few
That looked at me took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heart ache from the pain
Take up my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
and
I was choking in the crowd
Living my brain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
I love music that inspires me to write. I have a whole long playlist for Star Trek.
It’s like 90 something degrees and my co-worker is wearing knee high leather boots like it’s fucking January.
Sometimes I wish I could control myself and not write fifty million Spirk stories. And I still want to write that Winter story I’ve been talking about.
Neighbor came over yesterday to say they’d had a massive leak and flood and since we share a wall we should check that wall for drywall damage. Sigh.
My plans for a beautiful romantic weekend at the end of August in Morro Bay may or may not be ruined. I have booked it but now the sister wants to visit. Grrr.
Recent movies I’ve seen and liked: Cars 3, Despicable Me 3, Spiderman.
Movies I’ve seen and didn’t like: I Saw the Light. I love Tom Hiddleston but this movie sucked. Sorry, Tom. Maybe it was the subject matter (Hank Williams).
Movies I still intend to see this summer: Dunkirk and The Dark Tower
I was supposed to get a new computer at work yesterday. The one I have is ancient and unbelievably slow. They set me up to get a new one more than a month ago on yesterday’s date. The one tech copied my stuff to transfer to the new one. And then…he sent me a message saying my computer was missing. I heard nothing else the rest of the day. I emailed him this morning to ask for an update. He responded just now that they still haven’t found it and that he basically has not ETA for me to get my new computer now. Unbelievable.
No writing update today. And I am going to lunch with my co-worker so I won’t even be working on anything. Tomorrow I will have a flash fic up but I warn you, it is short. (and sweet).
Baby Pie
Resuming my ramblings of the week post.
This week my boss is off on vacation and all I can say to that is, “Yay.”
I went ahead and posted Primal Lust but it is most definitely NSFW.
This weekend I also finished Dating a Vulcan. It felt so good to get a story finished.
I have not yet begun the next chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All but I do know what happens in the next chapter because I have played it through me head.
Last week of July already. I swear I will be posting about Labor Day and Halloween in no time. I haven’t yet decided if I will do any Halloween themed Spirk stories. Right now I am leaning toward no, unless inspiration hits me.
In a surprise move to all, I think, my next chapter of Tonight may have a little top Jim, but don’t get used to it. For this story I just want them to go at each other every which way they can.
Speaking of July, for us the temperatures are pretty average for July. I dread August though. Supposed to be in the low 90s all week, which as I said, is fairly average for us.
And finally, I read a story on AO3 posted right after mine that is incredibly hot and very well done. It’s NSFW either but man….It’s called Animal and it’s way out doing MY story in popularity but it is Jim/Spock only so that’s probably helping. Check it out if you haven’t already.
My friend, Appreciative One, asked me to write her a story for her birthday. She is a huge fan of Spock Prime and young Jim. It’s her guilty pleasure too.

But she wanted me to take it one step further.
See in her opinion, because Spock 1 and Spock 2 share the exact same DNA, they are the same person at different stages in their lives age wise and experience wise. But still.

So she challenged me to write her a very very explicit story where Jim is the filling between two Spock pieces of bread. They sex him up often and repeatedly, without any regrets.
Though her birthday has passed, I am still writing on this story. Basically I add to it whenever I feel like it. It most definitely will not be for everyone. It is very graphic.
So, my question here, is should I post it at some point on AO3? What say you?
Probably my personal favorite version with Somebody to Die For
This one is new to me but it’s “Star Trek” rather than Spirk
One of my favorites of that include this song, Somebody to Die For, doesn’t appear to be available anymore on Youtube. Bummer, good thing I saved it.
I like this one mostly because I like the song from Hamilton
This is where my title for my T’hy’la Bang story came from
Another one where I love the song
Of course everyone loves this one
Feeling down so I turn to my Spirk videos. I am sharing some of my favorites here but you’ve likely seen most or all of them. I have hundreds of times.
Classic of course
Short but oh so hurty
A favorite
This one combines both
I have three different versions of Spirk videos with this song!
An oldie but a goodie
Love this one cause she uses so much of their parents
This one is Jim focused but it’s one of my all time favorites. And as we know, I am Jim focused too
So my friend AO gave me the prompt for this week. She wanted Jim to speak to Spock about his bedside manner. As per the below scene in the movie. Of course since Jim “dies” before he could have that conversation, I decided to have it in the hospital. And well, I couldn’t just leave it at that.
Also, you will note that rather than wait until Friday I am posting it today. I’ll be working on the new chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All so went ahead and posted this.
James T. Kirk: [Kirk’s HUD breaks midway through his space-jump] Spock my display is down, I’m flying blind.
Spock: Captain, without your display compass hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible.
James T. Kirk: Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner.

“Spock’s here again.”
Jim looked at Bones as he scanned him. “Yeah?”
Bones nodded. “Waiting outside. I’ll send him in as soon as I’m done checking on you.”
Jim smiled a little and glanced toward the door. Bones had told him Spock had visited every day while he was in a coma. The day Bones had brought him out of it, Spock had been there. And every day since he’d awakened. Off and on, anyway.
He’d had other visitors, too. Scotty, Sulu, Chekov. Even Uhura had come by the day before yesterday with Spock.
Bones turned off his scanner and stood back. “You’re doing well. Great even. Better than I expected.”
“Super blood?”
“I need to run some more tests, but yeah, I think so. For someone who was mostly dead, it’s pretty remarkable.”
“When can I get out of here then?”
Bones shook his head. “Not until I run a whole battery of tests. Things look good now, but in a day or so, it could go bad.”
“You and your damn caution,” Jim muttered. “I feel great. And I hate being in this bed.”
“Yeah I know you do. I’ll send a nurse in later after Spock leaves to help you take a shower.” Bones waggled his brows. “A beautiful brunette.”
Jim smiled. “Send Spock in, will you? There’s something I need to talk to him about.”
“He sure seems fond of you,” Bones said, staring down at him. “I gotta say I’m surprised.”
“Why are you surprised?”
“I thought you’d finally found someone you couldn’t charm,” Bones said. “But apparently that old Kirk charm even works on Vulcans.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Just send him in, will you?”
Less than a minute later, Spock appeared by his hospital bed. He was dressed in the gray dress uniform he’d worn when Jim had first awakened. He held his hat in his hands.
“Hey Spock. How’s it going?”
“I have been to meetings in headquarters and—”
Jim waved that away. “No, not about work. You doing okay?”
Spock blinked at him but did not reply.
Jim shook his head bemusedly. “There’s something we need to discuss, Spock.”
His first officer straightened and gave a very tiny sigh. “Yes. I…yes. I do believe it is important for us to discuss matters as they stand now as well.”
“Then you know what I want to talk to you about?”
Spock nodded. “Yes. I have suspected you would want us to discuss it.”
“Good.” Jim indicated the edge of the bed. “Was there something you wanted to say first?”
“No. I will wait for you.”
Jim nodded. “Seriously, Spock. You need help.”
“Captain?”
“Your bedside manner.”
“I…what?”
Jim laughed. “Remember? When I was flying over to Marcus’ ship with Khan?”
Spock stared at him. “I recall that moment.”
“Well, then don’t you remember? I said if I made it back we’d have to discuss your bedside manner.” Jim gestured to himself and the hospital room. “Well, here I am. Granted my making it back is up for interpretation. But I’m definitely here.”
Spock’s lips thinned. “I…see.”
“You should see your face right now,” Jim said, shaking his head. “But really. I’m out there flying blind, fully aware it’s likely I won’t make it, and instead of words of comfort you have to tell me the odds I’ll survive.” Jim chuckled. “You’re one in a million, Spock.”
“It was logical to provide you with factual information during an important mission.”
“Yeah. I know.” He smiled. There was something a little off in the way Spock held himself. Maybe Vulcans didn’t appreciate being teased. “Anyway, that was all.”
“Of course, Captain.”
Definitely something off.
“Did you…was there something else you wanted to talk about?” He seemed to have surprised Spock so maybe there had been something else weighing on Spock’s mind. He certainly hoped he didn’t want to tell Jim he was leaving.
Spock hesitated slightly, then shook his head. “No, Captain. There is nothing else.”
Jim searched Spock’s face. There was definitely tension there. Perhaps he thought Jim was reprimanding him. “Spock, you know, I was just joking, right?”
“Joking?”
“About your bedside manner. I just wanted to give you a hard time. I was kidding. Trying to lighten things up.”
Spock nodded very slightly. “I am aware it was not a serious reprimand, Captain.”
“Well.” Jim licked his lips. “Good then.”
“If you will excuse me, I—”
Jim frowned. His chest tightened thinking of Spock leaving. “You’re going already? I thought-I thought you’d stay.” Whenever Spock was there, staying in the hospital wasn’t so bad.
“Unfortunately not. I only stopped by to ascertain your welfare. Since you seem to be doing well, I will be on my way,” Spock said coolly.
“You have things to do then?”
“Indeed.”
“Oh.” Jim looked away and nodded. “Okay. Um, thanks then.”
“You are welcome.”
“See you tomorrow?” Jim asked hopefully.
“I do not believe I can make it tomorrow.”
“Oh. All right.” He tried a smile, but it hurt to make his lips move like that. There was a ball of ice in the pit of his stomach.
Spock nodded, turned and left.
Jim closed his eyes,
Fuck.
****
It was another week before Bones would release him and Spock had insisted Jim stay at his temporary apartment for at least the first week he was out. Bones had agreed with Spock and therefore Jim had gone along with it. If it meant getting out, it was worth it.
Whatever he’d said that day to Spock though had changed things between them. That last week in the hospital, Spock had barely come to visit him and when he had, it had been all business. He’d been surprised when Spock insisted Jim stay with him.
And now as he went into Spock’s kitchen to get a glass of water, he saw Spock standing outside on his patio talking to Uhura. They were standing very close and Uhura had her hands up on Spock’s shoulders.
A lump formed in his throat before he could prevent it. What the hell was he even doing here? Later, he’d probably hear them having sex in Spock’s bedroom. And he-he’d just wish he died after all.
He hated all this. Hated feeling like he did.
One thing that had definitely changed since he woke up from being dead. His emotions were all over the fucking place and just now he felt the prick of tears.
God, he was damn pathetic.
The patio door opened and Jim wiped frantically at his eyes.
“Captain? Are you all right?” Spock hurried into the kitchen.
Jim turned away. “Yeah.”
“Are you in pain?”
“No. I just…” And the stupid tears started rolling down his cheeks.
Spock seized his arms and turned Jim to face him. “Captain? Jim? What is wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine,” Jim insisted.
“Please.” Spock suddenly looked stricken. “Your crying disturbs me.”
Jim pushed away. “Well, I can’t help it, okay? Don’t watch then.”
“That is not what I meant,” Spock said softly, though he allowed Jim to free himself. “Your well-being is important to me.”
Jim snorted. “Because of your duty.”
“Negative.”
Jim chanced a look at him. He couldn’t read anything in Spock’s expression.
“I am aware that you do not share my regard and perhaps even find it a burden but—”
“Your…wait. What? Your regard?” Jim’s jaw dropped open.
“I wish to ensure your safety and well-being at all times,” Spock said softly.
Jim drew in a shaky breath and then stepped closer. “When-when you say regard, just…what do you mean?”
“Captain—”
“Spock, don’t-don’t ‘captain’ me right now. Do you share my feelings or not?”
“Share?” Spock stared at him dumbfounded.
“God, you are the most infuriating—”
Spock cut off his tirade by reaching for Jim, grasping his arms and pulling him up against him. “There is something we need to discuss.” With a shaky hand, Spock touched Jim’s cheek.
“Later.” Jim pressed his lips to Spock’s, whose mouth softened and opened under his with a slight hitch of breath. “Take me to bed.”
“Has Doctor McCoy cleared you for strenuous sexual activity?”
“Strenuous, huh?” Jim smiled against Spock’s mouth. “That sounds pretty good.”
“Jim—”
“But if you”re worried, how about you just fuck me real slow?”