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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

Author

ivansfanfiction

The Beginning…1

spock-professor

“You didn’t have a good time,” Jim said as they left the movie theater, glancing at the Vulcan walking in sync beside him.

“I did not say that.”

“You never laughed or even cracked a smile.”

“Was I supposed to?”

“Come on, Spock. That movie was a comedy. I laughed my ass off.”

Spock stopped suddenly on the sidewalk and turned to look behind Jim. “It appears your ass is intact, Jim.”

Jim laughed. “God, I can’t believe you just said that.” He grinned. “So you did have a good time?”

“While the movie lacked the entertainment value for me that it seemed to have for you, I found the experience gratifying.”

“Me too. Damn, I don’t want this night to end. I wish there was somewhere we could go.”

“I know of an all-night place for tea if you are amenable.”

“Yeah? You bet I am. That sounds great.”

And he felt a little floaty as he walked beside Spock for about three blocks. When they stopped in front of an apartment building, Jim gave Spock a quizzical look.

“My apartment is the all-night tea place.” His cheeks were very slightly green.

Jim nodded. “That sounds great.”

Spock made them tea, an orange spiced flavor, and they sat at his dining room table.

“You do not mind having tea here?” Spock asked.

“Mind? Of course not. This is great. And the tea is good too.” If he had butterflies, he ignored them. Okay, not really, but he tried.

He’d been so surprised when Spock had accepted his invitation to the movies. Something he’d thrown out at the spur of the moment when Spock had noticed Jim staring at him one day in the Academy’s cafeteria.

“I anticipated you’d be more of a coffee person, Jim.”

“I love coffee. But I love tea also. I like them both. Why only like one when you can like them both?”

At the quirked brow he received in response Jim thought maybe he answered wrong.

“That’s-that’s just for beverages. By the way.” Jim felt his face heat. “In case you were wondering.”

“I see.”

“Well. Not only for beverages. I mean I like both guys and girls, too. Anything really.” God, now he was babbling. “But not more than one at a time. If that’s what you thought.”

Spock tilted his head. “I had not thought that far ahead, actually.”

Jim swallowed tea too fast and burned his tongue, but he forced a smile. “Right. I should probably, you know, go. Movie tomorrow? You can pick this time.”

Spock nodded and rose. “I would like that. I should walk you home,” he said when they reached the apartment door.

“Nah. Because then who would walk you home? And then we’d have to go back and forth, walking each other home, and we’d never make it where we were supposed to be. Where’s the logic in that?”

“When put that way—”

“You didn’t think I could be logical.”

“No.”

Jim laughed. “See you tomorrow, Spock. And goodnight.” He thought of something. “Hold up your hand.”

When Spock did, Jim touched his index and middle fingers to Spock’s.

“That’s right, yeah? A Vulcan kiss, right?”

“It is not exactly a kiss. It is a rather intimate way of holding hands between mates.”

“Oh.” Jim bugged out his eyes and dropped his hand away. “Sorry.”

Spock’s lips twitched. “You owe no apology, Jim. Goodnight.”

And for the first time, well, in ever, there was a bounce in his step going home.

100 Words Continuation, June 12, 2018

Jim narrowed his eyes and moved his hand away. “I know that, Spock. I’m not stupid.”

“Jim, I never intended to imply that you are stupid.” Spock was suddenly feeling very weary.

“I just meant that we could go to his grave or something, that’s all.” Jim lowered his gaze. He pushed away the bowl of cream of wheat. “Not hungry.”

“Would you like to have the donut?”

Jim looked up hopefully. “Could I?”

“Yes.” Spock rose and went to the cabinet to get the powdered donut package. He brought it to Jim.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said softly.

“I know. It is fine, ashaya.”

Message…3

Kirk-chris-pine-as-james-t-kirk-8196485-375-500

Clearly that was not going to happen now. And as he reached the door of his next class, he just kept walking. And walking. Off the campus and all the way to the docks.

All the bad thoughts entered his head before he could stop them. If he would have even tried to stop them.

Please stay.

Are you crazy? I’m not sticking around here. Not with him.

Take me with you.

Get real, Jimmy. You’re a burden.

What you want doesn’t matter. You are no one.

Think you’re so smart? Well, you’re stupid. So stupid even your mother has had enough. You’re going away for a long time, Jim. You’re leaving Earth.

I was hoping you died with the rest of those losers on the planet. Damn it, we can never catch a break.

Repeat offender.

Loser. Why are you such a loser?

Burden.

You are no one.

Stupid.

Loser.

Jim scrubbed his hand over his face.

I do not believe this is working.  

His communicator beeped. Jim blew out a breath and pulled it out.

“Hey Bones.”

“Jim, where the hell are you? I’m here at the dorm. Thought we were moving you out today to Spock’s. Sulu and his boyfriend are here too.”

He clenched his eyes closed. “Yeah. That’s off.”

A long pause. “What?”

Jim walked to the edge of the plank that led to a group of sailboats. “I’m not moving in with Spock, Bones.”

“What? Why? I don’t get it.”

He crouched down and stuck his hand in the cold water. “I do.”

“But I thought—”

“Spock…Spock broke up with me.”

Another long pause and then Bones was swearing. “When? Today? I didn’t think you’d seen him. Jim—”

“I don’t know, in the middle of the night.”

“Middle of the night? You spent the night at the dorm. When did Spock come over?”

“He didn’t. He-he sent me a message.”

“Jim, that doesn’t sound like Spock.”

“Look, he said we weren’t working, Bones. How much clearer is that?”

“Jim. Where are you?”

He shook his head even though Bones couldn’t see.

“Where are you? I’ll come and get you.”

“I don’t need that. I’m fine, Bones.”

“Jim—”

Jim closed his communicator and turned it off, returning it to his pocket.

He needed a drink. Several.

He wanted to be shit-faced, is what he wanted. And then maybe he could pretend his heart hadn’t been broken into smithereens.

“Love sucks.”

Jim turned away from the docks and went up the street, looking for the nearest bar.

Maybe there’d be someone to fuck too.

 

 

Ramblings of the Week, June 11, 2018

 

IMG_0733My days off work are almost over and I am sad I have to go back tomorrow. At least that means it’s less days until M comes home on Saturday night.

So far I’ve managed to watch seven movies and several episodes of Criminal Intent. I’ll watch a few more today and then after work probably some as well.

I’ve been working on my academy fic here and will likely update that again soon. Tomorrow will be another 100 words or so of my OMS story.

Up next on AO3 is What Happened to Spock, but I don’t really feel like working on that story right now. Maybe after the academy story is finished.

At the end of the month I have another couple of days off to go to Vegas for sister’s birthday. Something to look forward to. Before you know it we’ll be celebrating Independence Day.

Message….2

james_t-_kirk_during_the_kobayashi_maru_scenario

Jim tried to pay attention in his linguistics class, he did. But he found himself staring at the back of the head of Uhura.

A few days ago he’d seen them together. At a teashop. Looking intimate, cozy. He hadn’t even known they were meeting that day. At the time, Jim had thought he was overreacting to it. The spark of jealousy he’d felt was nothing. After all, Spock could meet with whomever he wanted. But normally, since they’d been seeing each other, Spock told him everything, all his plans. Not this one.

And now…the message he’d gotten this morning.

I do not believe this is working.  

Jim left the class when it was done, wondering if he should go to his next class or not.

“Kirk, are you okay?”

He froze and turned to face Uhura, who was frowning at him.

Jim kept his face blank. “Yeah. Sure. I’m fine.”

“Are you—”

“Have to go.”

She was still talking when he walked away, and yeah, maybe it was rude, but he just couldn’t do this right now.

Today, well, this afternoon, after classes, was to be the day he was going to move out of his dorm and in with Spock.

Message… 1

Captain_kirk_2

Jim had read the message ten times. The content never changed. His vision blurred with the tears stinging his eyes. He closed his eyes as tears squeezed out. The lump in his throat nearly choked him. He tossed the PADD away.

Okay so it was what it was. What the hell was he going to do about it anyway? Kill himself? Get stinking drunk? Go get himself laid? All of the above?

Well, so what. He didn’t need anyone. No one.

His communicator beeped. He picked it up and looked. “Bones?”

“You have class in ten minutes. You told me to remind you.” Pause. “Jim, are you okay?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Class. Thanks. Thanks, Bones.”

“Jim—”

“Gotta run.” He turned off his communicator. Stared at his PADD which lay on the floor by the kitchen.

I do not believe this is working.  

“Fuck you anyway.”

He grabbed his bag and left the dorm, leaving the PADD behind.

100 Words Continuation, June 08, 2018

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Photo by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com

Spock nodded. “I will inform him that a visit would be welcome.”

He brought the bowl of cream of wheat as well as the half and half over to the table in front of Jim.

Jim stared at the bowl. “Do I like this?”

“Yes, Jim.”

Jim smiled slightly and put his spoon into the bowl. “I miss our son, but you know who I also miss?”

“Who, ashaya?”

“Bones,” Jim said, matter-of-factly. “Think we can see him soon?”

Spock sat at the table next to his mate and reached for Jim’s hand. “Jim, Leonard has passed on. Remember?”

My Plans (personal)

 

 

tombstone-arizona2

So last night I was looking for my DVDs of Law & Order: Criminal Intent (my favorite show, love Goren) to start watching episodes and while I was there, I also went through the movies I’d like to watch over the next 10 days.

So in no particular order, this is what I chose:

The Princess Bride

Tombstone

Rio Bravo

Erin Brokovich

Silkwood

Steel Magnolias

5 TOS Original Series Movies (I may skip the Motion Picture)

Seems like there are more I am forgetting! Anyway together with Criminal Intent that’s certainly a start. I am also betaing my friend, Kris’ book, so I have to allow time for that as well as to write the next couple of parts of my 100 Words story. And knowing me I will probably squeeze in a few episodes of Forensic Files.

Starting tomorrow afternoon, I am free to do as I please until Tuesday (when I have to go back to work), so yay!

Would be nice if I got started on the next chapter of My Devotion too! Not to mention I am still reading Needful Things by Stephen King and a book by Dr. Weil that M is making me read!

Rambles, June 06, 2018

CPK

I’ve updated All I Ever Wanted, The Sight, Unbonded and Nine Lives. I am working on The Experiment but definitely won’t have it up today.  Coming up after The Experiment is My Devotion. Jim gets out of the hospital, and shortly after, I will be working my way toward resolving the “Into Darkness” part of their story so I can move into “Beyond”. Funny after all this time in this story, Jim and Spock have yet to fully “copulate” and that will definitely be rectified soon.

I don’t really want to think about what comes after that, because I likely won’t get into those next stories until next week. I know what comes next, What Happened to Spock, and When I Loved You, but my mind isn’t even there yet.

Frankly even My Devotion’s update might squeak into next week if I can manage it because I need a break. I have explained my plan is to do a lot of comfort watching of shows and movies I enjoy and I’m just not going to make myself work very hard when I am at home on writing, so what writing I do will be at lunch at work. Mostly. And I have a half day Friday and a day off Monday, so you can see what that means.

Right now I need to take care of myself and I think you will agree with me. I will get done what I get done when I can, and please believe me, I am working on them, and want them updated as much as you do.

 

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