
“Have you ever been in love before, Spock?”
Spock was surprised by the question and he lifted his gaze from concentrating on the chess game before them.
He had been somewhat surprised by the invitation, too. Jim had assured him that they used to play chess all the time back on the Enterprise. Prior to Spocks’ demise.
Jim smiled faintly and he wasn’t actually looking at Spock.
They were on Vulcan, after the events as had been explained to Spock where Spock was revived after being found on Genesis, and his Katra returned to him. There was still many things Spock could not recall.
“I mean really in love. Not just…infatuation.”
“I am uncertain,” Spock replied, noncommittedly. Because he was unsure where this conversation was going, what Jim’s point was.
“There were times I was sure it was love,” Jim said musingly. “Do you remember Edith Keeler?”
He started to shake his head, but then stopped, as he thought about it. “Yes, I believe that I do recall her.”
At that Jim’s gaze rose. There was a twinkle in those hazel eyes but also sorrow. An interesting enigma.
“In the time I knew her I had convinced myself I was in love with her.”
“Were you not?”
Jim shook his head. “Not as I know it now. She was a remarkable woman, but I now recognize my feelings as infatuation. And Miramanee.”
“What about her?”
“Perhaps my feelings for her were more like love, I don’t know.”
Spock only had a very faint recollection of her, so he did not pursue it, he shrugged and moved his piece.
“I guess my point here, Spock, is…I thought I knew what love was or was supposed to be, anyway, but none of what I felt for any of those women compared or compares to what I feel for you.” Jim shook his head. “To lose you. And then lose my son—”
“I am sorry.”
“That was not you. Then to find you almost barely alive again where you were discarded by the Klingons. I thought-I thought everything was for nothing.”
Spock realized Jim’s eyes were filled with unshed tears.
“Love is willing to give up everything for that other person. Your life, even. To give up everything so that they can live, so that they can find happiness, even if all you can spend with them is ten minutes, it is worth it.”
“Jim—”
Jim shook his head and wiped at his eyes. “I just thought. I thought you should know.”
Spock said nothing as the room fell silent and Jim, eventually, moved his chess piece.
Then Spock said, “Yes, Jim. I have been in love.” His gaze met Jim’s. “I still am.”
Jim smiled.
“And, Jim, checkmate.”
January 26, 2022 at 9:12 am
Oh. Oh. That. Got me right in the dang feels in the best possible way. Excellent.
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January 26, 2022 at 10:24 am
thanks! I decided this morning to throw something together and here it is 🙂
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January 26, 2022 at 9:26 am
Wow! Love this! Jim and Spock starting to do what they always used to do, playing chess and chatting. Then Jim explaining how he is in love and what desperate chances love will drive someone to. Love, love, love Spock’s reply!!! Kudos to you, Ivan! ❤️💚🖖😘
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January 26, 2022 at 10:25 am
thank you so much
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January 26, 2022 at 11:38 am
Oh yay! A surprise when I got home from the store! The good kind, I mean.
Yes, kind sir. You HAVE been in love. From the first chess game, at least. We watched you fall flat on your face in love with your captain. Saw you promise eternal t’hy’la to him.
The real thing! Beautiful!
TY so much for this!!!! Too bad you struggle so much writing TOS! LOLOL
Please please post on AO3 so everyone can enjoy it!
(II mean, they COULD here too, but you know what I me.)
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January 26, 2022 at 11:39 am
(I have no idea why my keyboard drops so many final letters in words)
(That’s my story and I’m sticking with it)
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January 26, 2022 at 11:50 am
Ah yes I see that the keyboard did indeed drop some letters 🙂
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January 26, 2022 at 11:52 am
yes the struggle is real, and so is the rebellion (the many many snooty tos people who bash aos irk the crap out of me)
All right, I will likely post it in a one-shot collection though rather than on it’s own as it seems kinda short to be posted by itself
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January 26, 2022 at 4:37 pm
That story… the last 4 lines… with so few words you conveyed the same amount of feelings other writers usually needs pages for. It’s just superb. checkmate!
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January 26, 2022 at 7:04 pm
What a wonderful compliment, thank you
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January 27, 2022 at 6:48 pm
❤
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