We revisit Jim and Spock from Hello Darkness My Old Friend

“How do you feel, Jim?”

Jim smiled at Bones. Excitement filled every single bit of him. He was pretty sure if he touched anything, sparks would come from his fingertips. Fanciful, yes. But he came from a fanciful family.

“Great. I feel so great.”

Leonard “Bones” McCoy eyed him. “I suppose you aren’t going to miss me?”

“Of course I will. I’ll miss you like…well a lot…and I wish you were getting the Farragut too, but you’ll be great on the Excelsior and one day we’ll be together again.”

Bones snorted. “Time to break into song, Jim?”

He grinned. “You know it. Sing with me, Bones.”

They sang in unison, “We’ll meet again, Don’t know where, Don’t know when, but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day.”

Bones laughed. “You’re still a little bit off but that’s what I like about you.”

Jim shook his head. “I can hardly believe it. After all I’ve been through.” He bit his lip and looked through the glass partition at the arrivals of the ships that were docking in San Francisco. He was watching one in particular way in the back. “You know I hoped they’d let me join the Enterprise.”

“Spock’s ship.”

“Pike’s ship.” Jim rolled his eyes. “Anyway, no. They decided to put me with Captain Garrovick.”

“Garrovick’s a good man. You’ll do well there.”

Jim nodded. “He knew my dad. We’ve talked some about him.”

“But first two whole days of reunion,” Bones said dryly. 

“Arranged by Garrovick and Pike. Wasn’t going to happen otherwise. Not much of a substitute considering we’ve been separated two years, but I guess it will do.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then, Jim. The Excelsior is expecting me.”

“God, I can’t believe this is goodbye.”

“For now.” Bones smiled and hugged him. “Don’t forget that sunny day.”

“Take care, Bones.”

Jim watched him walk away with an ache in his chest. Everything was changing. And it was good, yeah, but it was bad too.

“Jim.”

The soft word said behind him had him turning quickly. He’d been so sure that he’d come the other way that—

Spock!”

“T’hy’la,” Spock said, rather reverently, his dark eyes wide and pale in his face as he pulled Jim close and into his arms.

That there was proof at how rattled the Vulcan was, to show so much affection right there in public.

Jim wrapped his arms around him. “Spock. I can’t believe you’re real.”

“I am real.” He exhaled slowly. “And unwilling to let you go.”

Still, Spock drew back. He stared into Jim’s face. “This separation has been much harder than I anticipated, even with our continued communication. And now you will be on the Farragut.”

“I know. But…I’ve made a ton of progress and I’m cleared for duty. And God, it’s amazing to see you. Come on. I have a hotel for us.”

They left the ship hangar and headed through the streets to their hotel. Spock kept his hand in Jim’s and Jim realized that the Vulcan was shaking.

As they approached the hotel, Spock remained silent, pensive, thoughtful.

“Having second thoughts?” Jim asked.

“And third.” Spock shook his head. “We will talk inside.”

Spock stopped in the middle of the lobby, looking quite perplexed at the large tree decorating it.

“It is July.” He paused. “Is it not?”

Jim laughed at the Christmas tree. “Yeah. They’re having a Christmas in July Ball tonight. I didn’t know when I booked the hotel.”

He led Spock to the elevator and up to the room he’d booked for them.

He supposed he should be concerned by Spock saying he was having second and third thoughts, but he was not. Spock’s unusual clinginess led Jim to believe that he didn’t have anything to worry about as far as Spock’s affection went.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when they were in the room alone.

“I wish…I know I questioned the wisdom of a long distance relationship. And this is as long distant as they come.” Spock shook his head. “We have remained in touch when we could, but I find that it is not enough, Jim.”

“What are you saying, Spock?” Jim decided to put forth the possibility Spock wanted to see others. He didn’t really, himself, which was weird. But they had mentioned that it wasn’t the time for them when they’d parted in San Francisco before. “Do you want to be with others? We did say it wasn’t right for us before. We’ve been keeping in touch but if that’s not what you want then…”

“I have not changed my mind or the depth of my feelings. Quite the contrary.”

“Meaning?”

Spock moved closer and took Jim’s hands in his. “You know that I love you. Do you still feel love for me?”

“Of course. Yes. I love you.”

“Then it is not your intent to be with others?”

“No, Spock. I haven’t been with anyone since we parted. I was working on my issues, I didn’t need to add anything to them.”

Spock nodded, his dark eyes warming. “Though we will be serving on different ships under different captains, I seek a deeper connection between us.”

Jim’s heart began to race. “What are you saying, Spock? You want to…bond?”

“Yes. Please.”

Jim laughed. “Are you sure? You really want…?”

“More than anything. When I leave here to return to the Enterprise and you to the Farragut, I want us to be mates.”

“And that won’t hurt you?”

Spock shook his head. “It will bring me peace.” He pulled Jim close. “Will you allow me to bond us?”

Jim swallowed, closed his eyes and laid his head on Spock’s shoulder. “Yes. Bond us.”