On the first day of Christmas…
Jim could not contain his mirth as he eyed the outfit Bones wore. “Oh. My God. Are you actually the partridge?” He fingered the outer part of Bones’ costume. “And this part is the tree?”’
“Shut up.” Partridge Bones shoved him. “What the hell are you, anyway?”
“Five Golden Rings. Duh.”
Jim wore a lightweight T-shirt with golden rings he’d cut out from gold lame material and then attached them to the T-Shirt. No way was he going to wear something as ridiculously extravagant as Bones’ Partridge in a Pear Tree getup.
Bones narrowed his eyes and grimaced as he snatched up a glass of Holiday Punch as an ensign with a tray passed by. “I only see four rings. Four, Jim.”
Jim frowned. “Hmm. Weird. I wonder where that fifth one went.” He turned around to look behind him.
“No, it’s not hanging from your ass. Damn, Jim. You can’t even get something that simple right.”
Jim grinned and shrugged.
“Oh hell. There’s Scotty and Uhura as Two Turtle Doves. I may throw up.”
He laughed. “It was her idea to do this in the first place.”
“I know. Where’s your lover boy?” Bones scowled. “Don’t tell me you let Spock get out of this because…”
“I didn’t! He’s over there piping or something.”
“Eleven Pipers Piping. That’s what Spock is. Only he’s just one. Obviously.”
“One Spock is enough to handle,” Bones said dryly.
Jim smiled. “I don’t know. I’d be happy dealing with eleven Spocks.”
“Love really is blind.”
Chekov suddenly appeared, looking vaguely harangued.
“What’s wrong with you?” Bones asked.
“I have a pounding headache, Doktor. Hikaru will not stop Drumming Drumming.”
Bones rolled his eyes. “Go A’Leaping somewhere else, will ya?”
Chekov eyed Jim. “There are only four rings.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll find the other. Must have lost it.”
Chekov leaped off.
The two turtle doves walked up then and Jim had to admit he might join Bones in throwing up.
Across the rec room he saw Rand doing the ladies dancing thing. He shook his head.
“Captain, you’re missing a ring,” Uhura pointed out.
“Yeah, yeah. Tell me something I don’t know.”
At that moment, Jim’s own true love appeared by his side, dressed as a piper and holding a musical pipe thing. He looked a little more Pied Piper of Hamlin than a Christmas Piper, but whatever.
“Hi, honey,” Jim greeted him.
Spock arched a brow. “What happened to the fifth golden ring?”
“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Jim exclaimed. He patted himself up and down. “It’s gotta be here somewhere.” He reached into his pants pocket and withdrew a small golden band. “Here it is.”
Jim winked at her and then dropped to his knees. He wiggled the gold band. “Here’s the fifth one. Five golden rings. Spock, will you…”
“I can’t believe you’re gonna do this now,” Bones muttered,
“Shut up.” Jim grinned up at a blushing Spock. “Will you be my husband?”
“Jim,” Spock whispered.
His brows furrowed. “Is that a yes?”
“Of course it’s a yes!” Uhura yelled.
Jim smirked at her. “I’d still like to hear it from Spock, if you don’t mind.” He rose to his feet and held out the golden ring. “What do you say, Piper? Want to play my pipes for the rest of our lives?”
“Oh. My. God. I take it back,” Uhura said, laughing uncontrollably. “He says no!”
Spock gave her a look, then looked back at Jim. “Ridiculous proposal notwithstanding, yes, I will.”
Jim whooped and pulled Spock the Piper into his arms for a thorough kiss.
“All right everyone. Places! We’re going to act out the song.” Scotty said with a clap.
Jim kept kissing Spock. “Later.”
“Much later,” Spock murmured, leading Jim and his
golden rings away.