A couple of days ago, friends of mine broke up after being together for 17 years. Though they never got married, when you are with someone that many years, you’re as good as married in my book.
He came up with the usual crap of “I think we should see other people”, meaning of course that he should see other people. Or rather, he already is. I think she was a bit gobsmacked, honestly, though I think she knew the signs were there.
He’s been acting like a douche for a while now, I think now maybe in an effort to get her to dump him or something, but that didn’t happen. I guess you tolerate a lot after that many years together. A year or so ago she found a condom wrapper in his bedroom and asked him about it. They had gotten to the point that they no longer used condoms. He came up with some BS story but now looking back at it, she guesses something was even going on then.
M and I have wondered for a while why they were still together as their relationship seemed pretty toxic to us. He seemed to go out of his way to be a dick. We discussed it many times. While neither of them are perfect and she had her fair share of culpability in their disagreements, he was much worse about it all.
Anyway, he gave her the ‘we can still be friends’ speech, which she rightly struck down. Especially since one of these ways was to watch his dog while he vacations with someone else. Yeah, right.
It also means the end of our friendship with him, because she is our friend, and he became our friend through her. So yeah, dude, you do lose out. He had the nerve to tell her he wanted to keep in touch with her niece and great niece (who are like her daughter and granddaughter). She told him that was up to her niece, but I’m going to be pissed off myself if she has anything to do with the asshole.
M obviously was pretty affected by the whole thing because he said to me last night, thank you for not breaking up with me. AS IF.
Life really sucks sometimes.
Reminds me of this lyric from Her Town Too by James Taylor.
Well, people got used to seeing them both together
But now he’s gone and life goes on
Nothing lasts forever, oh no
She gets the house and the garden
He gets the boys in the band
Some of them his friends
Some of them her friends
Some of them understand
In other news, I am thinking of leaving the internet again. I find the whole thing incredibly discouraging to be honest. Not just the news and our president, which is definitely bad enough, but just everything, really. Star Trek news, Tumblr crap (I’ll never be part of the clique obviously), even this blog which gets almost no attention but just a few of you, which thank you, by the way. Those who get to know me are aware I am a very very sensitive person. Too sensitive, it’s true. But I am not going to toughen up at this point in my life. I’ve been through several internet friendships that ended due to my sensitive nature and my apparent ability to attract those who are equally sensitive. I don’t know, at some point, when all you’re getting out of something is discouragement, it’s time to end things.
When I first started this journey of fanfiction, I stuck to that site only, and didn’t do the rest, so I don’t know, maybe it’s time to go back to that. I’ve gotten some great pictures and art and memes on places like tumblr but are they really worth the aggravation and bad feelings I often come away with? Probably not.
Anyway, it has me thinking I need to return to anonymity and stick with it. After all, who really needs to know the person behind the writer of Spirk on AO3? Those are my present thoughts anyway.
August 29, 2018 at 8:51 am
You know I’m not her biggest fan, but she deserves better than that douche and I hope she’ll heal and see that in time.
I hear ya on the internet dude. You know I’ll support whatever you decided. It’s a toxic place sometimes. And I want, more than anything else, for you to take care of you!
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August 30, 2018 at 7:24 am
It is toxic and my sensitivity definitely is a problem for that kind of atmosphere.
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August 29, 2018 at 7:27 pm
Well, a few things, and some of it I’ve said before… you can’t assume that not many people read your personal posts because not everyone comments. Also, I don’t think you ever really widely publicized the fact you have this personal blog. And as for cliques on tumblr, I’ll never be part of the cool kids either. However, once I remember that the “cool kids” are like years younger then me and it kind of puts it in perspective. The cliques are like high school. Some of those people act that way because they are like 20 year old girls. So yeah – I’m a square peg for a round hole. And I really I don’t need anyone to tell me you’re one of the best Spirk writers around. You have to believe that too.
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August 30, 2018 at 7:26 am
I did have my blog and tumblr listed under my profile on AO3 for quite a while. I recently took it down off there because I was feeling like me, lol. Yes they are definitely years younger than me, but I have always viewed you as one of the cool ones. Isn’t it interesting you have a different perspective on that?! Ha. Thank you my friend. I know my little problems are nothing compared to what you’re going through, ❤
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August 29, 2018 at 7:45 pm
It would be very sad to me if you were to leave the internet! I love reading your stories, even when you are ratcheting up the angst! You are my favorite author ! I enjoy your blog and reading your thoughts on things. It gives a “face” and a “personality ” to what I’m reading on my phone screen. If that makes my thoughts clear to you?!
I still don’t think I understand Tumblr and how it works. I peek at it now and then and repost things. 🤷🏻♀️
Don’t let negativity effect you. Negative people are not worth giving the time of day to. And I know lots of people read and don’t comment or give kudos on what they’ve read. Idk why.
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August 30, 2018 at 7:22 am
I wouldn’t leave AO3 just the rest. But yeah I don’t know. Tumblr I think is just that for the most part. Reblogging things. You can post something original I think, if you want, but I have found whenever I do it is largely ignored. I think if you aren’t in the popular young crowd, as trek says above, you aren’t really noticed or important to them. I’m definitely NOT a young girl, LOL. If that is what it takes to fit in there, I never will.
You are right there are lots of people that don’t leave kudos or comments. I can see the comments more because it takes a little more effort but the kudos is one little click. It doesn’t mean you think it’s the best thing you’ve ever read, though some people act like it must mean that, because they won’t kudo ANYTHING. It just means, I appreciate your effort. That’s what it means to me anyway.
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August 30, 2018 at 8:05 am
Glad to hear that you are not going to leave ao3!!
I try to make comments, to show authors that I appreciate the effort that went into writing a story that I enjoy. Although sometimes when I read my comments later they seem less like a paragraph and more like a bunch of sentences that list what I like in a particular chapter. But I feel at least I’m saying what I like in a story, although sometimes not very coherently! Lol!
❤
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August 30, 2018 at 4:58 pm
What they said
I’d be super super sad if you left the internet. I love your blog and seeing how your week went, what fun vacations you have planned, and even your rants, rambles, and musings 🙂
Also your stories!
Sorry to hear about your friends. Good riddance to that guy though.
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August 31, 2018 at 9:46 am
Well as I said, I’d still post to AO3 for the time being anyway. So we will see 🙂
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