A couple of days ago, friends of mine broke up after being together for 17 years. Though they never got married, when you are with someone that many years, you’re as good as married in my book.

He came up with the usual crap of “I think we should see other people”, meaning of course that he should see other people. Or rather, he already is. I think she was a bit gobsmacked, honestly, though I think she knew the signs were there.

He’s been acting like a douche for a while now, I think now maybe in an effort to get her to dump him or something, but that didn’t happen. I guess you tolerate a lot after that many years together. A year or so ago she found a condom wrapper in his bedroom and asked him about it. They had gotten to the point that they no longer used condoms. He came up with some BS story but now looking back at it, she guesses something was even going on then.

M and I have wondered for a while why they were still together as their relationship seemed pretty toxic to us. He seemed to go out of his way to be a dick. We discussed it many times. While neither of them are perfect and she had her fair share of culpability in their disagreements, he was much worse about it all.

Anyway, he gave her the ‘we can still be friends’ speech, which she rightly struck down. Especially since one of these ways was to watch his dog while he vacations with someone else. Yeah, right.

It also means the end of our friendship with him, because she is our friend, and he became our friend through her. So yeah, dude, you do lose out. He had the nerve to tell her he wanted to keep in touch with her niece and great niece (who are like her daughter and granddaughter). She told him that was up to her niece, but I’m going to be pissed off myself if she has anything to do with the asshole.

M obviously was pretty affected by the whole thing because he said to me last night, thank you for not breaking up with me. AS IF.

Life really sucks sometimes.

Reminds me of this lyric from Her Town Too by James Taylor.

Well, people got used to seeing them both together
But now he’s gone and life goes on
Nothing lasts forever, oh no
She gets the house and the garden
He gets the boys in the band
Some of them his friends
Some of them her friends
Some of them understand

In other news, I am thinking of leaving the internet again. I find the whole thing incredibly discouraging to be honest. Not just the news and our president, which is definitely bad enough, but just everything, really. Star Trek news, Tumblr crap (I’ll never be part of the clique obviously), even this blog which gets almost no attention but just a few of you, which thank you, by the way. Those who get to know me are aware I am a very very sensitive person. Too sensitive, it’s true. But I am not going to toughen up at this point in my life. I’ve been through several internet friendships that ended due to my sensitive nature and my apparent ability to attract those who are equally sensitive. I don’t know, at some point, when all you’re getting out of something is discouragement, it’s time to end things.

When I first started this journey of fanfiction, I stuck to that site only, and didn’t do the rest, so I don’t know, maybe it’s time to go back to that. I’ve gotten some great pictures and art and memes on places like tumblr but are they really worth the aggravation and bad feelings I often come away with? Probably not.

Anyway, it has me thinking I need to return to anonymity and stick with it. After all, who really needs to know the person behind the writer of Spirk on AO3? Those are my present thoughts anyway.