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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

Flash Fic, August 18, 2021

Jim comes out of the study hall closet first, looking carefully first to make sure no one else is around. He sees no one so slips out and away out of the classroom entirely.

Eventually he sees a group of cadets he knows walking the campus and he saddles up beside them and joins the conversation as though he’s been there the whole time.

No one calls him on it.

It isn’t until later when he’s meeting Sulu and Bones for hamburgers at Moe’s Deli that Sulu gestures to his neck.

“Someone’s marked you.”

“What?” Jim laughs. “No way.”

“Yep.” Bones hands him a mirror and Jim almost stops to ask him why he’s got a mirror, but instead he shrugs and holds it up to his neck. After a few awkward attempts to see, he finally notices the suck marks there.

“Er, okay.”

“Who are you seeing now?” Bones asks.

“No one.”

Sulu snorts. “No one gave you a hickey.”

“Those are big teeth, I might add,” Bones does, in fact, add. “As long as it’s not—”

“It isn’t.”

Sulu frowns. “Who? As long as it isn’t who?”

“Jim has a long history of picking really awful people to be his lovers.”

“Ruth wasn’t awful,” Jim protests.

“About the only one who was definitely too good for you. I’d give you a list of his bad choices, but I do have a life of my own to live.”

“Instead of nosing into other people’s, yeah.’

Bones smirks. “I do that as a side hobby.   

“Keep it far to the side if you don’t mind.”

“Hmm,” Bones says, contemplatively. “Last I knew you were seeing that little Caitian named Sofie, but those don’t look like her tiny teeth.”

Jim rolls his eyes. “She’s history and I never slept with her. I was just getting her study notes.”

“Study notes.”

“I like to do well in class, you know that.”

Sulu shakes his head. “If that’s the case, you might as well move right to the instructor.’’

Jim looks away, quickly, suddenly sure he is blushing. God he has a big mouth and he usually uses it for better things that sticking his foot in it.

“Yeah.” Bones gazes him suspiciously.

“Anyway, I definitely have two or three classes to get to right now.”

“It’s seven o’clock. You aren’t signed up for night classes,” Bones points out.

Jim rises anyway. “Extra credit. Uh, logic.”

Bones’ stare is harder now. “Logic?”

“Logical philosophy.”

“Oh for Pete’s sake, you don’t mean—”

“I don’t, no,” Jim says quickly. “Mind your own business, Bones.”

“Idiot,” Bones mutters as Jim runs from their table.

He can hear Sulu.

“Who? Who is he seeing?” Jim exits and head up the street. To his, uh, logic course.  

Flash Fic, August 16, 2021

This takes place directly after the events of The Wrath of Khan and before The Search for Spock

Leonard knew it was time to go check on Jim. He’d tried to give him some time. Spock’s funeral service had been pretty rough on him and even though he’d acted as though he might be all right on the bridge after, Leonard was not fooled.

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done, it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

Those words notwithstanding, Leonard knew his friend and he was hurting.

“Come.”

When Leonard stepped into Jim’s quarters, his friend stood near to the observation window he had in his quarters. He was looking out, though Leonard wasn’t sure exactly what Jim saw.

“It’s just me,” he said, softly.

He saw the slight curve of Jim’s lips. “Hi, Bones.”

Leonard looked toward the small bar in the quarters where he spotted the decanter of brandy Jim kept there. He walked over to it and poured two glasses, approaching and handing one to Jim.

“You okay?”

Jim looked into the glass. “What do you think?” He downed it in one swallow.

About what Leonard guessed.

“Jim, don’t take this question the wrong way, but, just what was between you and Spock?”

Jim flicked a glance at him. “He’s my friend.” Paused. “Was.”

“I know that. But…was there more?”

“More?”

Leonard took a sip of his own brandy. “You two were closer than most friends, closer than most brothers.”

“Sam and I hadn’t been close for years before his death,” Jim said, musingly. He shook his head. “And I haven’t kept in touch with my nephew. I really am an asshole sometimes.”

“But you and Spock—”

“What are you trying to say here, Bones?”

“Were you in love with Spock?”

“In love.” Jim shook his head. “What does that mean? I loved him. I don’t know how to go on without him, Bones. He’s been the better part of my life for years and…now he’s gone. I’d do anything to have him back. Give up anything. But I can’t raise the dead. Spock’s gone.”

“So, did you have romantic feelings for him?” Leonard persisted.

“Maybe. I honestly never sat down and analyzed things. I know that when we parted after the mission and he went for Kolinahr, I thought my heart would break.”

“Well, then.”

“That’s nothing compared to now. I’d give anything for him to be back on Vulcan, having gone through Kolinahr and never looked back.”

“I’m sorry, Jim. And I’m sorry I brought all this up. I guess…I just needed to know.” Leonard put the empty glass down. “I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts myself lately.”

And it was true. Sometimes Leonard felt as though there were someone else’s thoughts in his head. Strange.

Jim smiled faintly. “It’s okay, Bones. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone.”

“All right. Let me know if you need anything.”

Leonard left and returned to his own quarters, still feeling as though he was missing some piece of information.

Wine Day Pics 2021

I had requests for pictures, so I have posted some here. This was from our wine tasting day hosted by sister’s friend

Grounds of first Winery
First tasting- Chenin Blanc
Looking Outdoors from our inside table. We were first sitting outside but got too warm, so we moved inside. That’s the edge of our hostess for the day in the pic.
Our list of wine tastings from second winery
A glass – Loved the shape of this one

Red red wine

The vineyard
Grounds of the second winery
The third and final winery
More grounds of third winery
Third winery tasting flights

Randomly Speaking

Yes, that garden stake you saw in Friday’s flash is something I ordered. From Hobby Lobby (don’t judge me lol)

I have officially started my week’s vacation as of now.

Sister has a friend who has some money and tomorrow we are going to three wineries she is a member of and doing some tasting as well as a picnic outdoors. For dinner she is a member of a yacht club so we are dining there at their restaurant. It’s good to have friends richer than you.

This week I go with my sister to that casino and hotel in San Diego. I think we will have great fun.

I myself also joined a wine club. You get shipments three times a year. It’s one of my favorite wineries up north. That’s just a random side note.

It’s funny how the strangest things and memories and thoughts can set you off to weeping over your lost loved one.

Ma used to keep stashes of money. She played bingo weekly, loved Vegas, and until she had dementia went with my sister to the Native American casinos. She was pretty lucky too. So she kept stashes of money. If you went with her, and you gave her a sad face that you were out of money, she would take out her stash and pluck some bills for you. She could be super generous obviously.

Anyway, my sister came across some of her stash yesterday, another $200 in her underwear drawer in her closet. She gave me $100 and kept the other for herself. This made me cry. This was my mother’s money, she should be the one spending it. My mother, that is. And yes, I 100% know she has passed away from this life, I hope to a better one. At the very least she is out of pain. But this was her money and it makes me sad to get it. It just does. And I’m having a lot of weird guilt over it.

So yes, I am still struggling with grief.

Thanks for listening.

Flash Fic, August 13, 2021

Jim stopped his hover car in front of the farmhouse. For a moment, he just sat there. It wasn’t as though he was afraid to get out or anything. Or even actually afraid of his husband. He wasn’t. That would be categorially stupid. Spock wouldn’t hurt him for anything. Excepting of course that incident long ago before they really even knew each other.

He pursed his lips and opened the door. Because yeah, he was no coward. Even if he was about to be lectured.

Vulcan disapproval was sharper than any other.

Speaking of, his wonderful husband had just opened the front door to peer out at him as he went to the trunk of the hover car to get his purchases.   

“What did you get?” Spock asks, as he steps off the steps toward the car. He knows Spock will offer to carry everything.

“Oh, uh. You know this and that.”

“This and…that?”

His shoulders slumping slightly, Jim smiled. “Groceries, of course.”

Spock looks at Jim and then into the trunk. “And?”

He shifts. “They, uh, they had their autumn stuff out already at the store.”

When he was a kid they hardy ever got to decorate anything, and sure he’s overcompensating. He knows.

Spock’s glance moves back to Jim’s face. “You already have a lot of fall decorations, Jim.”

“I know, I agree.” His face is flushed red. He knows it is. And some of it is shame and that doesn’t feel good. “They had this pumpkin garden stake with a crow on it and I, uh, I really liked it. So I got it.”

He lifts it out of the trunk to show it to Spock, who is, of course, unimpressed.

“You have ten pumpkin garden stakes.”

Jim nodded.

“Five scarecrow garden stakes. Several Halloween garden stakes. Even a couple with leaves and turkeys.”

Jim looks away. He thinks about how he’s probably going to have to take this garden stake back. Because Spock isn’t wrong.

Suddenly Spock’s hand, gentle as can be, touches his jaw, and bids him look. “One more garden stake is perfect. I know just the spot we can put it.”

He blinked for a few seconds, and then warmth infuses him. “Yeah?” He is nearly breathless.

“I love you.”

“As much as you love fall?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. Maybe a little more.”

Flash Fic, August 11, 2021

Spock has been keeping a secret. He is not comfortable with it, but he finds it necessary.

He is in love with his captain.

In reality, he has had this secret for a long time. He first came to the realization that he felt love for his captain as he witnessed his death in the warp core.

Even after this realization, and the relief that Jim’s demise was temporary, Spock chose to continue his relationship with Nyota. He cared for her. It was not the same devotional love he felt toward Kirk, but he knew that was a lost cause, so it seemed there was no harm in continuing to see Nyota.

When it became more troublesome to continue to watch his captain pursue others, Spock sought solace in the idea of doing his duty and resigning from Starfleet for New Vulcan.

He advised Nyota of his plans and their relationship ended.

And then Krall and Altamid happened.

For a while, Spock allowed his relationship with Nyota to resume, given that was what she seemed to wish, but the distance between them grew, they both felt it, and finally she came to him and asked to remain friends only.

Spock had been relieved. He hadn’t wished to lose her, he just didn’t care for her the way she deserved, and they both knew it.

Spock continued to keep his secret, while keeping a watchful eye on his beloved.

He was pretty sure he hid it well, until one day, after Jim was injured yet again in a mission, and he kept a close eye on his recovery, McCoy came to stand beside him as they studied their unconscious captain.

“You should tell him.”

“Doctor?”

McCoy sighed. “Spock, stop hiding behind your Vulcanness and tell him how you feel.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Sure. Only the longer you wait, the more chance he’ll give up entirely and find someone else. It’s already been close. If you don’t act, Spock, well…it’s your funeral.”

“My funeral?”

“An expression.”

“A perplexing one.”

“Just…do it. Even if it’s while he’s sleeping. Get it off your chest.” McCoy sighed. Pinched his nose. “Another expression. I gotta go check something.”

And McCoy walked away.

Spock had no idea why he let McCoy talk him into this, but he walked over to Jim’s biobed. Stared down at his unconscious form.

“I am in love with you,” he said, softly, pushing a lock of hair off Kirk’s forehead.

He turned and left.

After Jim was released to go to his quarters for further recovery, he called Spock to see him.

He smiled when Spock arrived.

“Hey. You want to play chess or something?”

Spock agreed. It seemed as though his secret still belonged to him.

They were in the middle of the match, when Jim leaned back.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“Captain?”

“You know what.”

“No, I am afraid I do not.”

Jim sighed heavily. “I wasn’t asleep.”

Spock blinked, stared. “I see.”

“And for the record, I’m in love with you, too.”

A better outcome than Spock had ever expected.

Much later, when they were lying in bed beside each other, having done quite a bit of exploration, Jim turned to him, put his hand on Spock’s face.

“So. When were you going to tell me?”

“When it became relevant.” Spock paused. Smiled slightly. “As it just did.”

Flash Fic, August 9, 2021

Photo by Eric Thurber on Pexels.com

In the early days of their relationship, he didn’t really notice it. Love is blind they say, and he certainly was as fully in love as anyone ever was.

But after they bonded and married, he’d noticed it. Oh, it was minor. A mere insignificant thing and he would never mention it to anyone, including his love.

His love was still absolutely brilliant. Beyond brilliant. And such tiny inconsistencies were nothing. There was the old tale of the absentminded professor, and he was certain that applied.

And it was never every time, anyway.

A missing number in a report that should have been there. Nothing really, it could have been missed by anyone, and the fact that it was missed by him, that was why he paid attention to it.

Truthfully, it was endearing.

And he did not know why.

So, he’d taken to going into these reports and other things and adding it himself. He had the same accesses and same passwords to accounts his love did. They were bondmates after all. No real secrets existed.

Except perhaps this. If he knew that these things were being corrected, he never let on.

Much later, when they retired from Starfleet and went to live together in San Francisco, and they both took up teaching at the Academy, it was even more minor things.

Their apartment number left off an address when he ordered something. As it was now.

With a shake of his head, he read the notice from the shipping company that they needed a unit number as it had been left off the order form.

He added the unit number, saved the address, and closed the site.

The door to the apartment opened only moments later. He stood and gave his husband a kiss. Sweet, gentle, and welcomed.

“Did my order arrive yet from the teashop? I placed it some time ago and it has still not arrived.”

He smiled, pulled him close, and said, “I’m sure it will soon, Spock. It’s likely on its way, even now.”

And yes, his absolutely stunningly brilliant husband who had an incredible memory was not perfect. He was okay with that. More than okay.

Because, yes, he was perfect after all.      

Flash Fic, August 06, 2021

“Are you angry with me?” Spock asked his captain, his…boyfriend, he amended in his own mind. Recently acquired, but acquired, nonetheless.

Jim lounged on the couch in his quarters. This new Enterprise had much larger quarters than the old one that had been destroyed on Altamid.

He wore his pajama bottoms and a form fitting t-shirt and had barely acknowledged Spock since he’d come in.

Blue eyes rose to his from the book he was reading. “Should I be?”

Spock thought about it. Decided to answer truthfully, in his opinion, “Negative.”

A slight smirk was his answer. “Then you have your answer.” His gaze went back to his book.

“However, it seems, plain to me, that you are, in fact.”

“What makes you believe that?”

“You are behaving very dismissive.” Spock paused. “If it is out of jealousy, I assure you there is nothing you need feel jealous over.”

“No?”

“The female, Droxine—”

“Was all over you, yes, I saw.”

Spock pursed his lips. He is definitely onto the source of Jim’s annoyance. “I did not encourage her.”

“Nor did you discourage her.”

“I was attempting to learn information from her necessary to our mission.” He paused again. “Similar to how you did with the woman Sylvia.”

Jim frowned. “That was not the same.”

“Indeed. You kissed her. I did not kiss Droxine.”

“Well.”

“Jim, I assure you there is no one that has my affections but you.”

Jim inhaled then and slowly exhaled. “Okay. This is still very…”

“New, yes.”

“I was going to say raw. I don’t like this feeling of jealousy. I felt it enough when you were with—”

“Jim,” Spock interrupted. He went to the couch, sat down, and drew Jim into his arms. “I love you. And no other. You are my t’hy’la.”

Jim smiled against him and snuggled in against Spock’s neck. “You know I love you, too. So much.”

“I know what it is to feel jealous,” Spock admitted. “I have felt that way toward you with your interaction with…anyone.”

“Yeah?”

“Indeed. I try to…repress it.”

Jim kissed him. “There will never be anyone for me but you, Spock. For the rest of my days.”

“Of which there better be many.”

He laughed. “Yes.”

“And for me, it is the same. Always.”

A Few Ramblings

And yes, the damn thing posted before I wanted it too, grrrrrr

So coming up this month, the week of August 16th, I’ll be going away. No, no, not permanently.

But I have that week off and my sister and I are taking a trip to Valley View in San Diego County. This trip is for her, honestly. Just as the one in June really was. For a couple of years as my mother’s health declined and the pandemic hit, my sister cared for her and couldn’t do much of anything. She loved to go to Vegas and casinos etc. My mother did too. And all of that stopped.

Anyway, I picked the casino we would because I love the hotel with its free sit down breakfast and infinity pool. It overlooks the mountains and as I have sat there in the past in the patio area, I feel at peace. There are a handful of places I feel this sense of peace and that is one of them.

We planned this trip back in June before Delta. We are both fully vaccinated and plan to wear masks around others. This helps with the smoke too. Is it the ideal time? No. But life does and must go on, so we are going and taking every precaution we can. I feel fairly sure that I am way more anxious about it than she is, but that is the story of my life. I have plenty of anxiety for both of us.

Anyway, I hope to have my three flashes done for that week and prescheduled, but it’s likely I won’t be responding to comments. At least right away.

That’s my story

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