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Monday Ramblings, November 05, 2018

Leaves

Okay, so this past weekend I updated both When I Loved You and Didn’t We Almost Have it All. And did a one-shot called Seriously. Not bad. Wasn’t sure I was going to get to update anything this weekend.

During the week I will try to get an update to my Kirk family story, The Ties That Bind. One may wonder where Spock is in this story. He’s coming. I promise. That’s the last one that hasn’t been updated since September. So I’m making progress.

Where My Demons Hide comes after that and I am on the course for the end for that one. I hope to have it finished soonish. Maybe when I get to it, I will just write it to the end. Maybe not. Because, I also need to finish the Christmas story and get serious on the T’hy’la Bang story.

The good news for those last two is they will be finished when posted. A really hard thing for me folks! HA.

Wednesday is Outlaw King day, so that means a certain actor’s penis. Yes, I will be watching. Duh. The movie is apparently violent but we shall see how that goes. I just want to see him, beard and all, LOL.

No movie this week as there’s nothing really out we want to see. I did finally see Halloween. I liked it. There were some head scratching moments, I will not deny. But for the most part, it was decent. Not It decent, but decent. Speaking of King, I also saw they are remaking Pet Semetary. I swear they can’t come up with anything new to make.

As I write this, my lower back is killing me. It’s hell getting old, you know?

 

 

WDPLUF, Chapter 5

Short chapter but it’s something to move the plot into the next part I’d like to happen

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When Spock had not seen Jim for two days, he walked over to Jim’s house himself.

After ten minutes of waiting after he knocked, Jim opened the door. He looked a little beat up, a little worse for wear, and pale. He wore a t-shirt and jeans.

“Jim?”

“Hey.” Jim looked back in the house and then back at Spock. Then he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. “Hey,” he said again.

“You have been hurt.” He felt like he was stating the obvious, but Jim’s appearance disturbed him.

“Yeah.” He moistened his lips. “Got into a fight with him.”

“He struck you?”

“It’s fine, Spock.”

“It is not fine.” Spock made a move forward, but Jim put his hand on Spock’s arm.

“Can we just…go somewhere?”

Spock drew himself up and stared into Jim’s blue eyes. “Where would you like to go?”

“The city? Walking? I don’t care. Anywhere but here.” Jim’s hand on his arm dug in but it was not painful. “I’m glad you came. I wanted to see you but—”

“You did not want me to see you in this condition.”

“Yeah. My family’s fucked up, Spock. I just wish he’d disappear.”

“I will take us in my hover car into the city. Lunch perhaps?”

“Sure. But I have to…get my additive. I have these problems. I’ll tell you later.” He moved to go back into the house and Spock wanted to stop him, because he did not like the idea of Jim returning here. But he didn’t. He let Jim go.

Fortunately he came out a moment later and Spock led him back to his own house to get the hover car.

Jim was quiet on the ride into the main city and he did not comment when Spock pulled in front of a vegetarian restaurant.

“Is this acceptable?”

“What?” Jim’s gaze cleared, and he nodded. “Yes. Yes. Sure.”

After getting a table, Jim leaned back and gave Spock a strained smile. “So, um, I guess I should tell you about Tarsus.”

“Tarsus? You speak of Tarsus IV.”

“Yeah. I was there.”

“Jim—”

“I don’t really talk about it. A lot. I mean I see doctors. There’s one here in the city. She thinks, I don’t know, that I’m unstable or whatever.”

“You do not seem that way to me,”

Jim smiled. “Thanks. Anyway, um, I got poisoned by the fungus. A lot of did. The ones that survived. So I have to add this to stuff before I eat.” He shrugged. “No big deal.”

“I think that it is, actually, a big deal.” Spock found himself reaching for Jim’s hand and also feeling glad when Jim gave it to him. “If you ever desire to talk to a non-judgmental party, I am here to listen.”

“I-I appreciate that.” Jim’s smile widened. “This almost feels like a date.”

Spock felt his cheeks heat. He looked down at his menu. “Do you think?”

“Spock. Is it?”

His gaze rose to meet Jim’s, held those blue eyes. “Would you like it to be?”

“Never mind that. Would you?”

Spock gave a simple nod. Then he saw Jim’s cheeks turn pink. He nodded too. And Spock let out the breath he was holding.

“Then it is a date.”

“Our first, huh?”

“Unless you count sharing a bed last night.”

Jim grinned. “Totally counts. In a platonic way.”

“Jim.”

“Yeah?”

“I am sorry he hurt you,” Spock said softly. “And I do not want him to hurt you again.”

Jim nodded. “We’ll work it out, Spock.”

“But—”

“We will. Okay? Let’s just, let’s just have our date.”

Spock dropped it for now because he had to. But he did not want to because he could not stop thinking about Jim being hit. Hurt. It was wrong. And Spock could not just sit by and let it happen.

 

 

Thursday, November 01, Ramblings

First up, I have posted my Old Married Spirk story, A Beginning. I know today was the first day for posting, but I had it done, and decided why wait? I don’t mind being first. It is what it is. I hope you like it. The Original Series is not something I write a lot of.

This week I also posted a Halloween story and the next chapter of The Mysterious One, as well as My Devotion. That’s definitely it for the week.

I am returning to working on my Christmas story which is up over 8,000 words already. Once that is done, I will need to get more work done on my T’hy’la Bang story coming in January, as well as everything else I need to do!

I hope to have a pretty quiet weekend ahead of me. Might do some cleaning. We are hosting Thanksgiving this year and the place has a lot that needs to be done before it is clean enough for company. Fortunately I have taken the entire week of Thanksgiving off. I think I have a wine party the weekend before that but that’ll be fine.

We got exactly one child last night, our next door neighbor. Townhome and condo complexes really are ridiculous.

I’ve already voted because I vote by mail though the election is this coming Tuesday. We also change to standard time this weekend and I say, bleh. I hate it dark by 5:00. HATE IT.

WDPLUF, Chapter 4

Jim woke to the sound of a crash and then yelling. For a moment he lay there, his heart pounding so hard his chest hurt. Had they come for him?

But no.

This wasn’t Tarsus. It was Eldred. And it wasn’t Kodos’ men coming for victims. It was his mother and her husband fighting. Again.

He reached for his earphones and stuck them in his ears but he could hear them shouting right through the supposedly noise canceling buds. Jim pulled them out of his ears, sat up and went to where had left his discarded jeans before going to bed. He pulled them on and then went to the window.

The night was warm so he’d left it open earlier. Now he crawled through it, jumping down and landing in the dirt. He hadn’t bothered with shoes. If he could get away without shoes and socks every day, he would. No doubt why he had a million calluses on his feet already.

The further he got away from the house, the less he could hear them shouting. Frank was probably drunk. He hadn’t ever been physically abusive to her that Jim knew but the emotional and mental abuse took its toll on both his mother and Jim. Back when Jim used to pray, he prayed his mother would kick Frank to the curb once and for all. But instead she gave him another chance. Every single time.

Before he even knew where he was going, Jim realized he had made his way to Spock’s house. It was dark, of course. It was the middle of the night. Spock and his mom would be asleep.

Even still Jim made his way over to the window for Spock’s room. There were small lights flickering within so Jim tapped lightly on the window.

A moment later, Spock appeared and lifted it up. “Jim?”

“Hey,” Jim whispered. “There were lights. I’m kind of surprised you were up.”

“I am meditating.” Spock hesitated. “Would you like to come inside?”

Jim shook his head. “I don’t want to bother your mom.”

“She is sleeping. Come inside.”

Spock moved away from the window and Jim climbed through and into the room.

Jim’s gaze flicked around at all the lit candles. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“It is no matter. You appeared upset.”

“My mother and stepfather were fighting,” Jim admitted. “They woke me.”

“I am sorry. It must be difficult.” Spock gestured to a chair in his room. “Sit. Would you like me to bring you tea? Water?”

Jim sat in the chair and pulled his knees up. “No, I…just wanted to see you again. Sorry for leaving so abruptly earlier today.”

“I took no offense. Would you like to see Butterscotch?”

He smiled a little. “If I could…I mean is she sleeping?”

“I believe so but I can wake her.”

“No. Don’t. I can come back another day.” Jim bit his lip. “Gives me an excuse to come back.”

“You need no excuse, Jim. I enjoy your company.”

“Yeah?” Jim felt himself blush. “I don’t really make friends easily.”

“Nor do I.”

Jim glanced at Spock in surprise. “Really?”

“Quite true.”

“But why? You’re so cute.” Fuck. “I mean smart. So smart.”

“Jim.”

“Yeah?”

“I find you…cute also.”

Jim sucked in a breath. “Spock. I, uh, wow.”

Spock’s lip curved upward just slightly. “I, too, am gratified. Jim, why do you not spend the night? That chair pulls out to a lounger. You can return home in the morning with no one the wiser.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I do not.”

“How old are you, Spock? If I may ask.”

“I will be one and twenty very soon. And you, Jim?”

“I turned eighteen a month ago.” He sighed. “Didn’t finish school though. Because of…circumstances.”

Spock nodded. “That is unfortunate. But perhaps I could assist you in catching up on your education.”

Jim grinned. “In between lyre lessons?”

Spock’s lips twitched. “Indeed. Go to sleep, Jim. We will talk more tomorrow.”

****

Spock was awakened later by Jim whimpering and crying out in his sleep. At first Spock was not sure what to do but eventually he rose from his bed to where Jim thrashed about as he was unable to allow the younger man to be in so much distress.

“Jim.”

Spock knelt next to the chair, his hand outstretching toward Jim’s face.

“Jim.”

He shook Jim slightly. To enter Jim’s mind, even for good, without his permission would not be right. He needed to find another method of waking Jim. He dropped his hand to his side and shook Jim again, more persistently this time.

Jim gasped and came awake instantly, eyes wide and frightened. “Where—”

“You are here with me, Jim. You are safe.”

Jim grabbed Spock’s arms. “Spock?”

“Yes, Jim.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Guess you should have made me go home.”

Spock shook his head. “It is fine.”

“It’s not fine,” Jim insisted. “I have nightmares. A lot. And you certainly didn’t bargain for those.”

“I did not,” Spock admitted. “But I suspect you find it no bargain either.”

Jim smiled. “No. No, I don’t.”

Spock glanced toward his bed and then back to Jim. “May I make the suggestion that you sleep in the bed with me? Perhaps being close to someone will ease your nightmares.”

Jim bit his lip. “I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“If I found the idea troublesome, I would not have suggested it.”

The smile returned. “Yeah? Okay. I-I’d like that.”

Spock rose from next to the chair to allow Jim to get up and walk over to Spock’s bed.

For a moment, Jim simply stared at the bed. Then he got in without looking at Spock and then Spock got in without looking at Jim. He pulled the sheet and blanket up over them.

“Goodnight, Jim.”

“Goodnight.”

When Spock woke in the morning, Jim had already gone, but there lingered there in his bedroom a hint of Jim and Spock liked it.

Ramblings of the Week, October 22, 2018

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So, anyway, as you no doubt know by now, I considered deleting The Sight as I have lost my inspiration for it. I was going to just delete it without word but at the last minute decided to ask about it. I was kind of surprised I had a more positive reaction to the story and more people wanting me to keep it to get to again some day then I had anticipated. So, for now, it stays.

I was able to get the update for Nine Lives done. Next I need to write the last chapter for my Professor Spock conclusion so that I can have it done in plenty of time to post it on Halloween. That’s what I intend to do next.

I think after that I will be updating My Devotion but not sure when I will get to it. This is a pretty busy week. Tomorrow we are seeing the new Halloween (got my tickets already). Thursday is our WW and Saturday we are helping a friend with her festival appearance in Ventura. That’s pretty much an all day thing as it goes until 5. Our friend is going to a Halloween party after that but we are going to dinner after ourselves.

I also need to finish my OMS story for November. I have quite a bit done on it now and I can post it any time in November. I also need to finish the Christmas story. And as I indicated in comments, I have signed up for the T’hy’la Bang which posts in January. I think I have an idea but it would involve a lot of sex so we shall see.

I think that’s it for this week.

 

Rambles to End the Week, October 12, 2018

This week I posted a one-shot, The Kirk Curse. I really wanted to make it a multi-chapter fic, but alas, I did not.

I also finished Idiots in Love. Go me! I only had this one going for three months, so that’s a huge win that I was able to finish it.

I also updated An Autumn in Harmony, Hello Darkness, My Old Friend, and Bitter Frost. A very successful week.

Next week you can expect another chapter of Where Do People Like Us Float, The Experiment, The Mysterious One, and Nine Lives.

This weekend I plan to chill again. Watch some of those movies I mentioned, have some cozy time with M, do some necessary food shopping, etc.

Unfortunately it’s supposed to get windy on Monday which is never good and the temps are going up with it a little. Ugh. I’m still promised cool nights according to the weather so that’s a plus.

I got some more Christmas decorations. I ordered from Hallmark. A gift for a friend. And also, a new Heat Miser Ornament (he’s standing on a stove), a Link from Zelda ornament, the Naked Time Star Trek Ornament, the Tricorder ornament, a metal Enterprise ornament, a tiny teapot ornament for my sister-in-law, a tiny bird ornament (we get the new one every year), Aladdin’s lamp ornament, um, and I think that’t it. It should be! Damn,

Oh and I ordered a new crystal elf from Swarovski.  And a gingerbread house from there too but that’s for the sister who is paying for that.

So, yes. I do need to stop. Yes.

Where Do People Like Us Float, Chapter 3

Jim grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and downed the whole thing in just a couple of swallows. A least he was able to drink water without any additives. Then he went back outside and headed in the direction of Spock’s house.

There was no sign that anyone was outside, which was too bad, because Jim would have preferred not having to knock on the door. He really didn’t want to bother Spock’s mother.

He hesitated, biting is lip. He could just wait until Spock did come out. But that could take hours. Or he could just go back home. Not that he really thought of this place as home.

Riverside was home. Until it wasn’t. Part of him just wanted to go back there.

Jim went up to the front door and knocked. He had no idea what he was going to say if Spock’s mom opened the door.

But to his relief it was Spock who peered out at him. But the for a long time, Spock just stared blankly at him. Almost like he didn’t even recognize Jim.

“It’s Jim. You know. From yesterday.”

Spock nodded. “Yes, of course. Hello, Jim.”

“Um. Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering about the kitten.”

“Yes, I have kept the kitten and Mother has named her Butterscotch. You may come in and see her if you would like.” Spock opened the door wide to let Jim inside.

Jim grinned and entered the house. There was no sign of anyone other than Spock and he heard no noises.

“My mother is out,” Spock said, as though reading Jim’s mind.

Which Jim had heard was possible. Weren’t they some sort of telepaths?

“Are you mind readers?” Jim blurted out before he could stop himself.

At that, Spock arched a pointed brow, which Jim had to admit was cute. “That would come in handy for certain. Alas I cannot. Nor do other Vulcans. We are touch telepaths. And there are limitations there as well.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Jim nodded. “You’re my first Vulcan.”

Spock tilted his head. “Butterscotch is this way.”

Jim followed Spock to a bedroom he assumed was Spock’s. There was a strange instrument attached to the wall. “What is that?”

“It is a Vulcan lyre. I have been playing it since I was a small boy.”

“Yeah? That’s really cool.” Jim shuffled his feet. “Wish I played a musical instrument. But I’m not musical.”

“Anyone can learn, Jim. Would you like me to teach you?”

Jim’s draw dropped open. “You-you would do that?”

“Why not?”

“I…well. I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

“It would be no waste of time. My father taught me.”

“Is your dad here too?” Jim asked.

“Negative. He is on special assignment at present. Our residence here is temporary.”

“Yeah. Me too. I don’t plan on sticking around here either.”

Spock crouched down next to his bed and then when he rose he held the squirming orange kitty in his hands.

He could not keep the grin from his face. “She is so cute! Can I-can I hold her?”

Spock handed Jim the kitten,

She immediately started purring as he raised her to his chest. He rubbed his face against her fur.

“It is a shame you were not able to keep the cat for yourself,” Spock said softly.

“Frank doesn’t like animals. Or anything living really. I had a dog before.” Jim felt a dull ache in his chest. “Anyway, I’d probably be allergic. Seems like I am to everything.”

“She has adjusted well so far. What happened to your dog?”

He stared down at the purring kitten, his stomach twisting painfully. “He didn’t make it.” Jim handed the kitten back to Spock. “I need to go.”

“Very well. I had thought to offer you tea but—”

“No, that’s okay. I really need to go.” He turned abruptly and fled from Spock’s house.

****

“There you are,” his mother announced when he entered the house that afternoon. “Where have you been?”

She stepped over to him and grabbed him by his shoulders. She studied him carefully. “Have you been smoking again?”

“No,” he denied, even though he had just had a cigarette.

“Don’t lie. I smell it.”

He brushed her away. “Then why ask me?”

She sighed and went back into the kitchen to the stove. “You said you stopped.” She looked at him. “Are you cutting again?”

“No.” Not that he hadn’t thought about it. “I did quit smoking. But today was just…hard. So I had one.” He sulked down into the chair at the dining room table.

She put the spoon down she had been using to stir the food in the pot and came to sit next to him at the table. “Things didn’t go well at the doctor?”

He snorted at that. “It never does. She threatened me.”

“Jim—”

“She did. To institutionalize me.”

“I won’t let that happen. Frank said you didn’t tell him much about your appointment.”

“As if I would,” he mumbled. “I met a guy. He lives nearby.”

“A guy? Yeah?”

“A Vulcan.”

She laughed. “On this planet?”

“He’s a teacher. He offered to teach me how to play the lyre.”

She raised her brows. “Did he? How interesting.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Give me a break. His name is Spock.”

“You like him. Don’t you?”

Jim shrugged. “Well.”

She smiled a little. “Maybe you can invite him over so I can meet him.”

“With him around? No thanks.”

“We’ll pick a day when he isn’t.” She stood up again and squeezed his shoulder as she went back into the kitchen. “I’m making chili beans. Is that okay?”

“Sure.” It wasn’t like everything didn’t taste like the additive anyway. But she liked to pretend he could actually taste the food.

“Jim, I know you don’t like Doctor Cassadine but can you go just a few more times? And then if you still feel the same way, we’ll tell her to forget it.”

Jim got up from his seat and went to the fridge, taking out a chilled glass water bottle. “How many more times?”

“Two. Maybe three.”

He bit his lip. “Two.”

“Okay,” she said with obvious reluctance. “Sit back down, it’s almost ready.”

He retook his seat, glancing toward the hallway when he heard Frank yelling at someone from the office. “You know he’s not going to take those anger management classes you want him to take.”

She brought a bowl of the chili beans over to him. “You really shouldn’t interfere, Jim.”

Feeling rebuked, he lowered his gaze to the beans and took a spoonful. He put it in his mouth and chewed.

“How is it?”

“Good,” he said mechanically.

She petted his hair and sat down next to him. “I’m off tomorrow so I want to take you into town to get some new clothes. You’ve changed sizes again.”

“I don’t need new clothes.”

“Are you kidding? Those jeans you’re wearing right now are falling off you. We’re going. So be ready.” She ruffled his hair. “Maybe a new PADD too.”

Rambles of the Week, October 9, 2018

Today I updated Hello Darkness, My Old Friend. Yesterday I updated Bitter Frost and Sunday The Mysterious One.

I’m going to work on another chapter of the Professor Spock sequel next since it needs to be finished by Halloween.

After that I may work on the Christmas story, another chapter of TMO or the next chapter of Idiots in Love. I also need to get my chapter ready to appear here on Thursday of my re-write.

Hallmark has Kirk and Spock as mirror verse itty bittys so I told M to get them for me for Christmas. We’ll see if that happens!

This is my Halloween viewing month (meaning movies that are spookyish). I’ve already watched the original The Fog (love cursed old village tales) and Practical Magic (such a cute romantic funny movie if you haven’t seen it). I have a whole bevy left to go. I plan on watching both versions of Fright Night, the original Halloween, Sleepy Hollow (movie not tv), Crimson Peak, Young Frankenstein and Zombieland (I normally don’t like zombies but Woody and the rest make this version hilarious). I think that’s it. None of them are particularly frightening. Probably the scariest is Halloween but when you’ve seen it every year for like 30 years it’s no longer surprising or scary. Now I just make fun of Linda and Annie’s horrible acting! LOL

I’m playing a new role playing game (new to me) called Grandia 2. It’s really old school RPG but I am enjoying it. I bought some new game but I had to get a refund because the graphics were too much for my laptop and it kept crashing. In other news, I bought myself a new laptop (hasn’t come yet) but that’s just a coincidence. I’m not using it for the game I couldn’t play!

 

 

 

Where Do People Like Us Float Chapter 2

Chapter 2:  Jim

“Time to go to sleep, kiddo.”

His mother hovered in the doorway of his room as Jim looked up from his PADD. He had the lights off but the lights from his game still lit up his bedroom.

“Mom, I’m not a kid any longer.” He made a face. “And I’m almost to the boss of this level.”

“The doctors recommend you get a lot of rest, Jim. You’ve been overtaxing yourself. You don’t want to have a relapse.”

“Just a little longer? Okay?”

She leaned against the door frame, arms folded across her chest. “Okay but like fifteen minutes and then put it away. Please.”

Jim nodded, “Okay.”

“Don’t forget your appointment is tomorrow.”

Like he could forget.

“Yeah.”

“Honey, she just wants to help you. They all do.” She came into the room and sat on his bed. “We came to this planet because she was here and she comes highly recommended. She specializes in your condition.”

He shrugged.

His mother sighed heavily. “You could actually cooperate, you know. Doctor Cassadine is an expert in dealing with trauma as well as eating disorders.”

“I don’t have an ‘eating disorder’.” He did air quotes. “I was poisoned by the fungus making it pretty much hard to eat most food.” His bottom lip trembled. “And all she wants to know is how it makes me feel.”

“I know you saw terrible things. She’s concerned about the long lasting mental damage.”

He set the PADD aside. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m worried, Jim.”

“Don’t be. I’m fine.”

“You barely touched your dinner.”

“It upset my stomach.”

Mom frowned. “I used the additive that’s supposed to make it more edible for you.”

“I don’t like stew anyway.”

She reached over and smoothed out his hair. “Because of the meat?”

He lowered his gaze. “Even the smell is sickening. I told that asshole.”

“James Tiberius.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. I told your husband and he made it anyway.”

She shook her head. “I don’t have that much of the additive left, Jim. The new shipment hasn’t reached us here. You can’t afford to waste food with it in it now. You’re not eating enough as it is. You don’t want to go back to the hospital, do you?”

“No,” he whispered.

“I’ll make you pancakes in the morning before I leave for work. Frank will take you to your appointment.”

“I can get there myself you know.”

“We don’t have enough hover cars for all three of us and he needs to go into work to pick something up. You can right with him. I’d let you come with me but I’ll be there all day tomorrow. Once your appointment is done, you can both come back here as he’ll be working from home.”

He nodded.

“And try to do some studying, okay? I know you’re almost caught up with your online school work but you missed so much that there’s still more.”

“I know.”

“Frank is trying, you know. You could try too.”

“Is he? Like he did with Sam?” Jim couldn’t keep the note of defiance out of his voice.

“He made mistakes. He knows that. We all did. I’m sorry you ever got sent to that awful place.” She touched his cheeks. “But we decided we’d work on trying to be a family when we came here. Frank knows you’re my priority. You could meet him half way.”

Jim didn’t really think Frank was trying at all and he wanted him to leave him and his mom alone and go back to Earth or Hell or wherever he belonged. But he made himself nod.

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Please go to sleep. Pancakes in the morning.”

After she closed the door after him, Jim rose from his bed and went to the window in his room. He sat on the ledge, looking up at the stars. He wondered where Sam was. Was he on one of those distant planets he could see? Did he ever think of Jim?

Probably not.

Out of sight, out of mind.

But he’d met someone today.

A Vulcan.

****

“Are you ready for this?”

Jim stared at Frank as he stood outside the hover car. He pointed to the earbuds firmly shoved into his ears. He could still hear but he sure as hell didn’t want Frank to know.

Frank glared at him, pointing at the door. “Get in the car. I ain’t got all day.”

Jim almost corrected his grammar but that meant admitting he could hear, so he got in and turned away from Frank.

“Damn kid. I should rip those things out of your ears. But you’d just cry to your mother.”

Frank didn’t say anything after that as he sped into the main city of Eldred. The place was a dump but it was better than Tarsus, anyway.

Jim hiked his feet up on the dashboard.

“Feet down!” Frank screamed, turning beet red.

Jim almost said fuck you but he let it go and moved his feet down a fraction.

Frank pulled up in front of the office building that housed Dr. Cassadine’s office. One thing Jim could say was that she was cute anyway. Not as cute as the Vulcan boy he’d met. Spock. Jim was having trouble not thinking about it. And when he got home later, he planned to sneak over to see Spock and the kitten. He had a feeling Spock was going to keep her.

“I’ll be back to get you so don’t fucking going anywhere, you shit.”

Jim flung open the door and got out, not at all surprised when his mother’s husband sped away immediately. Jim flipped him the bird as he turned to look at the building. He had half a mind to just skip the whole thing. But then Dr. Cassadine would call Winona and then she’d give him hell and make him reschedule anyway.

Soon as he turned eighteen in a few months he was out of there and he’d kiss them both goodbye. All he had to do was bide his time.

He pushed open the door and then went to the elevator, pushing the button for the eleventh floor. Dr. Cassadine was the only office on this floor so the elevator doors opened up onto her receptionist.

An older woman eyed him as he approached her desk.

“Sally.”

“You’re two minutes late. She’s waiting.”

Dr. Cassadine had her dark hair pulled up into a tight bun perched on top of her head. And she wore glasses, the old fashioned kind that made her look kind of bookish. She sat behind her desk, hands folded in front of her.

She smiled in welcome. “Good morning, James.”

She insisted on calling him James even though the first few sessions he’d had with her he had repeatedly told her he preferred Jim. He gave up mentioning it because clearly she wasn’t going to bother listening to him.

He sat in the big plush leather chair situated directly in front of her desk.

“Water?” she asked.

“No.”

“Very well. Tell me about your morning.”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant. And it was boring.”

Her smile widened. “How about you give me a few more details?”

Jim leaned back in the chair. He was tempted to put his feet up on her desk just to see her reaction, but he resisted. “Woke up. Brushed my teeth. Had pancakes for breakfast. Took a shower. Got dressed. Got in the hover car with Frank. Came here.”

“Pancakes. Your mom used the additive?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And did it change their taste?”

“I guess. I mean, sure, I can taste it. But I couldn’t eat them at all otherwise.” He shrugged.

“Did you want to eat them?”

“Listen, I don’t have a disorder. None of this is psychological. You can check my records. I was poisoned by the fungus.”

“I know that, James. Did you want to eat them?”

“I guess so.”

“Do you get hungry?”

“Not this again.”

“One of the side effects of the fungal poisoning is loss of appetite. It’s a legitimate question.”

He looked at his feet. “I don’t really get much enjoyment out of eating now. I eat to live. So, no, I guess I didn’t really get hungry.”

“And that’s what we’re going to work on. There’s some evidence that trauma such as you suffered can contribute to your condition. I can’t fix you physically but we can work on the trauma to perhaps help with your appetite.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“The truth. James, I know how unhappy you are. And I know about your suicide attempt in the hospital. Your mom said you agreed to come here and get treatment. We decided to start with outpatient, but if I feel it’s in your best interest to check you into my facility—”

“I don’t need that.”

“Then maybe you can start cooperating with me here. Tell me about your distaste for meat.”

“Tastes change.”

“So, it’s not about Tarsus?”

“No.”

“You flinched when I said that word, you know.”

Jim’s jaw locked. He said nothing.

She tapped something into her PADD.

“How are your studies coming along?”

“Good. I’m almost done with the years I missed.”

“Do you think you’ll make friends here, James?”

“Maybe.” He thought of the Vulcan.

Spock.

“I met my neighbor.”

****

“Get in.’ Frank barked as he pulled up to where Jim was standing outside the building waiting. “I’ve got work to do and the sooner we’re back home the better.”

Jim got in and had barely closed the door before he was off again.

“I won’t ask you how it went because I can only imagine the smartass answer,” Frank said snidely.

Jim said nothing.

“Your mama wants me to take anger management classes if you can believe that.”

Jim glanced at him. “Are you going to do it?”

“Yeah right.’ Frank belched. “There’s nothing wrong with me. Your brother was a little prick. Fuck, even you know that. He would have made anyone lose it. And I was totally justified in sending you off planet after all those stunts you pulled. You were a little punk. I didn’t know what was going to happen. Nobody did.”

Jim could blame Frank for a lot of things. Like sending him there in the first place, but yeah, as much as he fucking hated Frank, and he did, he knew Frank hadn’t known what would happen. How it would change Jim forever.

Frank pulled up in front of the house. It was much smaller than their farmhouse back in Riverside. And Jim hated to admit it, but he missed it there. This house only had three bedrooms. His, theirs and a room his mom had put exercise equipment as well as office stuff in. It was one of those manufactured houses that went up in like a day and took even less time to tear down.

Frank went immediately into the room with the office equipment and shut the door. Was fine by Jim. He hoped he stayed in there all the rest of the damn day.

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