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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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Star Trek

Rambles, June 06, 2018

CPK

I’ve updated All I Ever Wanted, The Sight, Unbonded and Nine Lives. I am working on The Experiment but definitely won’t have it up today.  Coming up after The Experiment is My Devotion. Jim gets out of the hospital, and shortly after, I will be working my way toward resolving the “Into Darkness” part of their story so I can move into “Beyond”. Funny after all this time in this story, Jim and Spock have yet to fully “copulate” and that will definitely be rectified soon.

I don’t really want to think about what comes after that, because I likely won’t get into those next stories until next week. I know what comes next, What Happened to Spock, and When I Loved You, but my mind isn’t even there yet.

Frankly even My Devotion’s update might squeak into next week if I can manage it because I need a break. I have explained my plan is to do a lot of comfort watching of shows and movies I enjoy and I’m just not going to make myself work very hard when I am at home on writing, so what writing I do will be at lunch at work. Mostly. And I have a half day Friday and a day off Monday, so you can see what that means.

Right now I need to take care of myself and I think you will agree with me. I will get done what I get done when I can, and please believe me, I am working on them, and want them updated as much as you do.

 

100 Words Continuation, June 05, 2018

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Photo by Flickr on Pexels.com

Recently, Suvoc had contacted Spock about coming for a visit and Spock had wondered if it would be a good idea. Perhaps he should mention it to Jim.

“Jim.”

“Yes?”

“Suvoc has indicated a desire to come for a visit.”

For a moment, Jim looked confused and Spock’s heart sank.

“Our son,” he said quietly.

“I know,” Jim said defensively. “He…doesn’t he live with us?”

“No, ashaya. He moved out, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah.” But he said it in such a way that Spock did not know if he remembered or just said what Spock wanted to hear. “Good. He should. I would like to see him.”

The Sight, Chapter 4

Jim was wrung out. They’d decided to have a memorial get-together of his senior bridge crew for Chekov once everyone had arrived back on Yorktown.

They’d gone to dinner, a place on Yorktown Chekov had loved, and more than one of them had ended with tears in their eyes.

Jim had been forced to give a speech, which had had not wanted to do, but Bones asked him if not Jim, then who? So he’d talked about Pavel and how much they’d all loved him.

And now he was just a little bit drunk and a lot sad.

Bones was over in the corner of a bar they’d gone to talking to Scotty and Keenser. They were sharing a bottle of scotch between them. Spock and Uhura were standing by the entrance or exit he supposed as he suspected they were going to leave any second. Uhura was crying and she had her arms around Spock’s neck and his arms were around her waist.

At the table with him were Sulu and his husband Ben. They’d gotten a babysitter for Demora, figuring the little girl didn’t need to experience something this depressing.

“What’s next for you, Jim?” Ben asked him.

“After this place?”

“Yeah.”

“Back to my hotel room I suppose to crash for the night.”

“No company?” Sulu wondered.

Jim shook his head. A random hook up wasn’t really something he was interested in. It wouldn’t numb the heartache. Not by a longshot. “Nah.”

“How’s your boy?”

Jim smiled at the mention of David. “Good. I miss him already. Saw him just before I got here though. He’s adorable.”

“Too bad you don’t have him with you on Yorktown. We’re taking Demora to the zoo tomorrow. It would be fun to have them both.”

“It would,” Jim agreed. “Next time maybe. And now I really am tired, so if you guys will excuse me, I’m going to head back.”

The Sulus bid him goodnight and Jim left the bar, not failing to notice that Uhura and Spock had indeed left. As he stood on the street outside the bar he almost gave into the sadness, the loneliness that threatened.

He’d vowed though he no longer would let his unrequited love make him miserable. He shook it off and headed for his hotel.

When it was in sight, he was surprised to see Spock standing by himself overlooking the big water fountain right outside the hotel. The Vulcan looked pensive and for a moment, Jim decided he wouldn’t bother him, but then his legs carried him over there, almost against his will. Constantly drawn to Spock it would seem.

“Hey, Spock.”

“Good evening, Captain.”

“Surprised to see you out here. Thought you and Uhura went back to the hotel.”

Spock’s gaze stayed on Jim’s face for mere seconds before moving away. “Nyota has returned to her room.”

Jim almost asked ‘her room?’ as he had assumed they were sharing, but really it was hardly his business. But he did say, “You didn’t want to join her?”

“Nyota and I are…experiencing difficulties in our romantic relationship.”

Jim looked at him sharply. “You are? Since when?”

Spock shrugged slightly. “Before the events of Altamid, actually.”

“I thought you reconciled.”

“We did,” Spock said softly. “But the reconciliation has not gone well.”

He turned to fully face Jim then and Jim saw a faint green handprint on Spock’s cheek. Jim frowned at a flash of the memory of Uhura slapping Spock.

“Did she slap you?”

“She is not pleased with me,” Spock admitted.

“I’m sorry, Spock. I’m not sure what to say.”

“Nyota wishes for elements in our relationship I am unable to share with her,” Spock replied, turning away once more.

“You wanted to bond and she didn’t?” Jim asked before he could stop himself. He winced. “Uh, sorry. I know it’s not—”

“It was Nyota who expressed an interest in bonding with me.” Spock’s cheeks were bright green now. “When I expressed reservations, she…she ended things between us.”

“She did? Oh, Spock. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head.

“After all this time together, I can’t believe she would end it.”

Spock exhaled slowly. “Most romantic partners hope for an advancement in their relationship. I do not fault her.”

Jim wanted to ask him why he would not bond with her. He recalled just the other day Spock saying that they weren’t at that level in their relationship and Jim had wondered when they would be. Apparently Uhura had too.

“What prompted her bringing up now?”

“She has been bringing it up for a while,” Spock replied. “But the recent death of Ensign Chekov prompted her to renew her appeals for us to either bond or wed in the Terran way. She did not appreciate my continued reluctance.”

Jim had to admit he didn’t especially get it either. “What are you holding out for, Spock? A Vulcan bonding? I mean with a Vulcan female? You were thinking of leaving to settle on New Vulcan and make babies, right?”

“I was, yes,” Spock whispered. “But no, that is not what is holding me back, as you say.”

But Spock fell silent then, clearly not intending to go on an reveal to Jim what was preventing him from committing to Uhura. As far as Jim knew they’d been together for years. Since their academy days. Surely you didn’t spend that amount of time with someone unless you loved them. Fuck, Jim wouldn’t.

It occurred to him that the first part of the vision he’d had in the field back at his mom’s place had come true. He’d seen her slapping Spock. Maybe the other part where Spock was distraught over someone in the medbay would too.

Would it be Uhura? Jim hoped not. He didn’t like the idea of a member of his bridge crew so injured. But who else would Spock be so distraught over? It had to be Uhura.

“Maybe it will still work out, Spock. I bet it will. You two obviously love each other.” Jim placed his hand on Spock’s shoulder. He smiled, or did an imitation of one anyway.  “I’m so damn tired right now it’s a wonder I’m still standing. So I’m going in. Goodnight Spock.”

For longer than seemed usual, Spock simply stared at Jim, like he was looking right through him or something.

It occurred to Jim, fleetingly, that if they’d truly broken up it was possible Uhura would ask for a transfer. But then the other part of his vision wouldn’t come true. He’d never had a vision that was only partly right.

“Goodnight, Captain,” Spock finally said, rather faintly. His green color had risen up all the way to the tips of his ears and Jim almost asked if he was all right, but of course he wasn’t. Probably had a broken Vulcan heart.

He squeezed Spock’s shoulder and turned and went into the hotel.

100 Words Continuation, June 01, 2018

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Jim sighed as he flexed his fingers in the warming gloves. His lips quirked up very slightly, which was a welcome sign.

“How was your dinner?”

“It was agreeable,” Spock replied. “But not agreeable enough to distress you. I was not thinking.”

“I’m all right.”

“Indeed,” Spock agreed, for it was easier for them both if he said so. “Cream of wheat tonight?”

“I’d rather have a donut.”

“After you finish the cereal.” Spock made to begin the preparations. It occurred to him that sometimes Jim was like a little child. He was reminded of the child they’d raised together.

100 Words, Continuation, May 29, 2018

 

That didn’t seem to make any difference to Jim because he looked sadder still.

“You should be able to go out with your friends, Spock,” he said somewhat snappishly.

“Come, sit at the table and I will make us tea,” Spock said in an effort to distract him.

Jim allowed Spock to lead him to their table and gently push him down into a chair. He grasped Jim’s hands in his.

“Your hands are cold. I will get the warmers.”

Spock went over to the kitchen drawer and removed the handwarmers. He quickly heated them in the microwave and brought them to Jim, helping to pull them over Jim’s somewhat gnarled hands. The heat would prevent them from becoming too painful.

100 Words Continuation, May 25, 2018

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“Why am I on the floor?”

Spock shook his head. “Let me help you up.” He stood and reached down to pull Jim up and into his arms. “That is much better, is it not?”

Jim sighed and leaned against him. “Yes. Much. Spock.”

“Yes?”

“It-it happened again, didn’t it?”

Spock swallowed heavily. “To what do you refer?”

“You know. I-I lost it again.”

Jim’s voice was soft and filled with pain. It made Spock ache.

“It is my fault, darling. My meetings took longer than I realized. And I allowed them to talk me into dining with them.”

Brief Updates

Since AO3 is being a pill, I thought I’d mention on here that Didn’t We Almost Have it All has been updated.

Working on the next chapter of Nine Lives. Then will be working on You’re In My Veins. Don’t know when either will go up, but hopefully soonish.

The Sight, Chapter Three

“Papa, live with you.”

Jim had just thrown a big purple plastic lightweight ball toward David who gleefully batted at it until it tumbled to the ground. He smiled and walked over to his son, crouching down.

“Papa would love that,” Jim said carefully. “You like living with Mama.”

“Yeah”

“So Mama would feel sad if you lived with Papa.”

David puckered his lips. “Live together.”

“Your Mama and me we care about each other so much, but we don’t live together.”

“Why not?”

Jim took David’s hand in his. “Papa is on a ship, like the one I gave you. But you know, as much as we care about each other, we both care even more about you. You’re the most important one to both of us.”

David stared at Jim, his lower lip sticking out.

“I need you to watch your Mama for me and keep her safe, okay?” Jim wasn’t even sure his son understood what he was saying.

“Okay,” David agreed, looking very solemn.

Jim decided it was time to lighten the mood. “Let’s go in and have ice cream with your grandma.”

“Yeah!”

David turned excitedly to run into the house. Jim went to stand, but was suddenly hit by a powerful wave of dizziness. His eyes blurred.

Then suddenly Spock appeared before him, leaning over someone in a biobed. Spock looked unexpectedly distraught. He turned to face someone and then the scene changed. Uhura was standing in front of Spock, angry. She raised her hand and struck Spock across the face.

“Papa! Papa!”

Jim was being shook and then he looked down into David’s pale face. His eyes were very huge.

He smiled. Or tried to. “It’s all right, David. Papa is here.”

He stood now and took David’s hand as they walked into the farmhouse together. David released Jim’s hand and ran to Jim’s mom.

“Ice cream! Ice cream!”

Jim exchanged a look with Winona, who frowned, then grinned at the boy. “Chocolate or Strawberry?”

“Both!” David cried gleefully.

“Oh, you really are Jim’s son. Okay, some of each.”

Jim wearily sat in the nearest chair. Often visions exhausted him. This one definitely had. But he had no idea what it meant. It had looked like the medbay on the Enterprise.

“Want some coffee, Jim?” his mom asked.

“Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great. Thanks.”

She poured him the coffee and brought it to him before even dishing out ice cream for David. She looked at Jim. His mom knew about the visions. Had even witnessed him having one before. She’d once told him that there were rumors, according to Jim’s dad, that quite a while back one of gran’s family had met and mated with a seer from the planet, Nestron, a mysterious planet that even now the Federation didn’t know all there was to know. Nestron had been destroyed many years ago also mysterious and all that was left was a lifeless hull of a rock.

“Did you see something?” she asked softly.

“Maybe, yes, I don’t know. It was fleeting. I don’t even know what it meant.”

“Grandma, ice cream,” David yelled from by the freezer.

She stared at Jim a moment longer. “Coming.” She turned back to David with a smile.

****

That night his sleep was disturbed by dreams, nightmares really. He didn’t really remember any of them except the last one he’d had.

It woke him up around three am and there was absolutely no way he could get back to sleep. In the dream, Rigel Three was attacked by Klingons and Carol was an immediate casualty. David was left alone, crying.

Then he woke.

Beside him in his bed, David slept on, but Jim’s heart was racing.

Had it been a vision or merely a dream brought about by a little anxiety with David being taken to Rigel Three by Carol?

Jim found his PADD and sent a message to Carol. But of course she ignored him, as he knew she would. She had laughed later when they’d talked in person, as she came to collect David from him. She had no reason to believe he had visions, so he didn’t real blame her. He could not hold her back from leaving.

He kept it to himself then. After he had hugged his son goodbye and Carol, too. He’d hugged her tight, unable to shake the feeling he would never see her again. And he could do nothing about it. He’d tried.

When he got to Yorktown for the final week’s preparations, he was relieved to see Spock. Finally.

“Mister Spock,” Jim greeted Spock with a smile as he got off the shuttle and saw Spock waiting for him. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Captain, I was alerted to your impending arrival.”

“Well, good. How long have you been on Yorktown?” Spock fell in step beside him as they made their way out of ship docking area and over to the lift that would take them up to the streets of Yorktown.

“I arrived last evening,” Spock replied.

“Uhura too?”

“Nyota will arrive tomorrow. She left New Vulcan early in order to see her family on Earth.”

“Ah, good. Glad she got the chance.”

They got on the lift and rode up in silence. Jim stepped out first when it stopped.

“Did you enjoy your leave, Captain?”

“Yeah, I did. Spent most of it with my mom in Riverside. Got to spend a week or so with my son. Yeah, it was good.”

“I am gratified to hear it. David is well?”

“He is, yes. He’s going with Carol to Rigel Three soon for a temporary assignment she has there,” he said, neutrally. What he’d seen in his dream was still very much on his mind, but Spock would be completely dismissive. “You and, um, Uhura, did you—?”

“Captain?”

“You know, get married, or um, what is it…?”

“Bond,” Spock supplied.

He knew that, of course. He knew that well. But he was distracted by Carol and by the whole idea of Spock and Uhura living happily ever after together.

“Right.”

“We did not,” Spock said. “We are not at that level in our relationship yet.”

Jim frowned. They’d been ‘dating’ for years. When did it get to that level? But the truth was, as weird as Jim thought Spock’s response was, he was also incredibly glad. More glad actually than he ought to feel because he had absolutely no right to feel anything.

“Oh. Okay,” he said instead.

And they made their way to the first of Jim’s many meetings he’d have to have. He got busy with planning and even some negotiations, but he still thought of Carol and David somewhere in the back of his mind.

100 Words Continuation, May 22, 208

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Spock’s hand shook as he touched Jim’s cheek. “Remember,” he whispered.

He did what he often had to do. Use their bond to remind Jim who he was and who Spock was. Usually morning and afternoons were Jim’s best times. He generally remembered and did all right. And if Spock was with him in the evenings, it never got to this point.

But Spock had been too long.

Jim’s blue eyes cleared, though they still shone with tears. “Spock?”

Spock gave him a gentle smile and allowed his hand to fall. “Yes, darling. It is me.”

 

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