There’s no easy way to say that today my mother passed away after nearly 95 years.
I was there in the room as she took her last breath.
I’m going to be out of commission for a bit but I will be back. Thank you
Sorry to be a downer. But I have to vent a bit somewhre
Today we made the decision to keep Ma in bed for the rest of her time. It was just too hard for my sister to move her anymore during the night when she had to go to the bathroom etc. It was hard for the two of us too.
It’s really heartbreaking to watch the decline of someone you’ve know your entire life. I know some of you know this firsthand. You think you’re prepared for all this but you aren’t. You never can be.
We are nearing the end I think. I can’t imagine it will be much longer. When it is over there will be a mass as she was Catholic born and raised. I’ll let you know.
I will write stuff as I can. But please know I appreciate all of you sticking with me and your support.
You are all phenomenal.
Still here and still in limbo. Ma hasn’t eaten for five days now but she still drinks a tiny bit of iced tea. I go there every night now to help get her into the bathroom and into bed. It’s taking up a lot of my time other than work and what free time I do have, I try using for fun things like video games or something like that. I am doing a tiny bit of writing when I can fit it in, as you know from what updates I have done.
Anyway that’s where things stand right now.
Today was a rough day. Probably leading to other rough days.
Had a half day at work so I could go sit with my mother while my sister had her second Covid shot. Mom was pretty zonked out and incoherent most of the day. I stuck around for the hospice nurse who arrived later and basically “Ma” has definitely declined and could die any time. That was the conversation. Yeah we knew but it’s still…rough. They told my sister to prearrange with the mortuary as the hospice will call when she passes. Anyway I am home now but it’s…rough. I say that again.
So…I’ll update what I can when I can. And that’s all I can do now.
Thank you for listening.
For anyone wondering, I have had no side effects so far other than a sore arm and a teensy bit of dizziness. I feel pretty good.
So yesterday I had a mental health day off from work. Did a bit of shopping and writing (I updated the last two chapters of Clarity the past few days and I am proud to have finished another one).
But just after lunch I got a text from sister to go pick up Mom who had fallen again. She had a big blood bruise on her back but otherwise seemed mostly okay. But those are the kinds of things I can expect at any time.
Today, sister gets her hair done and she’s now afraid to leave Mom alone, so I’ll be going over there shortly for several hours to watch her. This consists of me mostly sitting on the couch while she dozes in her chair.
Monday I go for my second doze of the Pfizer vaccine. I am anxious to get it over with. I have that day off too as the vaccine is in the morning and I decided might as well take the day in case of any side effects. I generally don’t get them from vaccines but you never know. I’ve been reading that, much like a flu shot, you’ll likely need to get additional shots as the years pass. Interesting times we live in for sure.
Anyway, I should have the next chapter of Cosmic Love up Monday, though I have yet to write it. Probably will tomorrow. Other than Cosmic Love, I am now down to only 6 wips. That is excellent for me. I once had 13 going at once. I’m running out of new ideas though, so maybe, I’ll stop after those 6? We will see. I mean how many times can we read about Jim meeting Spock at the Academy or Spock finally breaking up with Uhura to be with Jim?
I’m behind. I know I am. I have stuff that needs updating. Catch a Falling Star and Clarity come to mind. And I am working on the second part of Tastes Like Real Ice Cream.
But…this week is a drag on me. I’m tired and the stress is catching up with me. I am kind of unmotivated. I think it will pass soon, but there it is right now. I’m sorry.
Still in a holding pattern with everything really in life. My co-worker whose father was also in hospice passed away last night. So he’s at peace at least.
Perfect weather continues. Sister is having another above ground pool put in her backyard. She had one for 15 plus years and had it taken down as it was wearing out. She didn’t know if she wanted another one but with everything, she decided to go for it. It was backordered for months considering the pandemic and everyone buying a pool, but it finally came and the guy went to put it in and one of the posts was wrong. It was defective. So he had to order another part and the waiting continues.
Here’s a picture of what he’s done so far.
I do have a chapter of Cosmic Love coming tomorrow.
And Garden Solar Bug, these are the kinds of bugs I can handle!
Hope it’s a lovely day for you.
Things are still pretty difficult for my family. Mom’s pretty weak so one day I had to go over and help her get up from the toilet. So…there’s my glamorous life these days. I pray each day that she passes in her sleep for all of us but especially her. This all so robs humans of their dignity late in life and it’s just…unfair. To make it to 94 only to experience this? Just…ugh.
I am sorry to bring this up in my Happy Easter message.
I got my first vaccine dose and am due for the next April 19th. The first was a breeze other than a slightly sore arm so hopefully I won’t jinx myself with the second. M’s sister who was visiting us went home and she just got her second of the Moderna. So far other than a very sore arm, she just feels super tired.
Still behind on updates. Sorry. But I did get my first chapter ready for Monday’s new Starfleet Academy Fic. It’s a bit of an AU, I mean even more than you might expect, but I think you will really like the direction it takes.
Looks like I will be going back into the office part time in the summer sometime. I think it’s going to be a hybrid kind of thing. M’s still looking for a new job.
Anyway it’s perfect weather here. Spring has arrived full bloom.
So I think what I’m going to do for April with the MWF flashes that begin next week is connect the flashes into a Starfleet Academy/Riverside Fic. So the story will post April 5, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21, 23. 26, 28, and 30. They may not post at any certain time of the day if I don’t get the chapters done ahead of time, but for now that’s my goal.
In the meantime, here are some recent personal pictures.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 