So my friend AO gave me the prompt for this week. She wanted Jim to speak to Spock about his bedside manner. As per the below scene in the movie. Of course since Jim “dies” before he could have that conversation, I decided to have it in the hospital. And well, I couldn’t just leave it at that.
Also, you will note that rather than wait until Friday I am posting it today. I’ll be working on the new chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All so went ahead and posted this.
James T. Kirk: [Kirk’s HUD breaks midway through his space-jump] Spock my display is down, I’m flying blind.
Spock: Captain, without your display compass hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible.
James T. Kirk: Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner.
“Spock’s here again.”
Jim looked at Bones as he scanned him. “Yeah?”
Bones nodded. “Waiting outside. I’ll send him in as soon as I’m done checking on you.”
Jim smiled a little and glanced toward the door. Bones had told him Spock had visited every day while he was in a coma. The day Bones had brought him out of it, Spock had been there. And every day since he’d awakened. Off and on, anyway.
He’d had other visitors, too. Scotty, Sulu, Chekov. Even Uhura had come by the day before yesterday with Spock.
Bones turned off his scanner and stood back. “You’re doing well. Great even. Better than I expected.”
“Super blood?”
“I need to run some more tests, but yeah, I think so. For someone who was mostly dead, it’s pretty remarkable.”
“When can I get out of here then?”
Bones shook his head. “Not until I run a whole battery of tests. Things look good now, but in a day or so, it could go bad.”
“You and your damn caution,” Jim muttered. “I feel great. And I hate being in this bed.”
“Yeah I know you do. I’ll send a nurse in later after Spock leaves to help you take a shower.” Bones waggled his brows. “A beautiful brunette.”
Jim smiled. “Send Spock in, will you? There’s something I need to talk to him about.”
“He sure seems fond of you,” Bones said, staring down at him. “I gotta say I’m surprised.”
“Why are you surprised?”
“I thought you’d finally found someone you couldn’t charm,” Bones said. “But apparently that old Kirk charm even works on Vulcans.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Just send him in, will you?”
Less than a minute later, Spock appeared by his hospital bed. He was dressed in the gray dress uniform he’d worn when Jim had first awakened. He held his hat in his hands.
“Hey Spock. How’s it going?”
“I have been to meetings in headquarters and—”
Jim waved that away. “No, not about work. You doing okay?”
Spock blinked at him but did not reply.
Jim shook his head bemusedly. “There’s something we need to discuss, Spock.”
His first officer straightened and gave a very tiny sigh. “Yes. I…yes. I do believe it is important for us to discuss matters as they stand now as well.”
“Then you know what I want to talk to you about?”
Spock nodded. “Yes. I have suspected you would want us to discuss it.”
“Good.” Jim indicated the edge of the bed. “Was there something you wanted to say first?”
“No. I will wait for you.”
Jim nodded. “Seriously, Spock. You need help.”
“Captain?”
“Your bedside manner.”
“I…what?”
Jim laughed. “Remember? When I was flying over to Marcus’ ship with Khan?”
Spock stared at him. “I recall that moment.”
“Well, then don’t you remember? I said if I made it back we’d have to discuss your bedside manner.” Jim gestured to himself and the hospital room. “Well, here I am. Granted my making it back is up for interpretation. But I’m definitely here.”
Spock’s lips thinned. “I…see.”
“You should see your face right now,” Jim said, shaking his head. “But really. I’m out there flying blind, fully aware it’s likely I won’t make it, and instead of words of comfort you have to tell me the odds I’ll survive.” Jim chuckled. “You’re one in a million, Spock.”
“It was logical to provide you with factual information during an important mission.”
“Yeah. I know.” He smiled. There was something a little off in the way Spock held himself. Maybe Vulcans didn’t appreciate being teased. “Anyway, that was all.”
“Of course, Captain.”
Definitely something off.
“Did you…was there something else you wanted to talk about?” He seemed to have surprised Spock so maybe there had been something else weighing on Spock’s mind. He certainly hoped he didn’t want to tell Jim he was leaving.
Spock hesitated slightly, then shook his head. “No, Captain. There is nothing else.”
Jim searched Spock’s face. There was definitely tension there. Perhaps he thought Jim was reprimanding him. “Spock, you know, I was just joking, right?”
“Joking?”
“About your bedside manner. I just wanted to give you a hard time. I was kidding. Trying to lighten things up.”
Spock nodded very slightly. “I am aware it was not a serious reprimand, Captain.”
“Well.” Jim licked his lips. “Good then.”
“If you will excuse me, I—”
Jim frowned. His chest tightened thinking of Spock leaving. “You’re going already? I thought-I thought you’d stay.” Whenever Spock was there, staying in the hospital wasn’t so bad.
“Unfortunately not. I only stopped by to ascertain your welfare. Since you seem to be doing well, I will be on my way,” Spock said coolly.
“You have things to do then?”
“Indeed.”
“Oh.” Jim looked away and nodded. “Okay. Um, thanks then.”
“You are welcome.”
“See you tomorrow?” Jim asked hopefully.
“I do not believe I can make it tomorrow.”
“Oh. All right.” He tried a smile, but it hurt to make his lips move like that. There was a ball of ice in the pit of his stomach.
Spock nodded, turned and left.
Jim closed his eyes,
Fuck.
****
It was another week before Bones would release him and Spock had insisted Jim stay at his temporary apartment for at least the first week he was out. Bones had agreed with Spock and therefore Jim had gone along with it. If it meant getting out, it was worth it.
Whatever he’d said that day to Spock though had changed things between them. That last week in the hospital, Spock had barely come to visit him and when he had, it had been all business. He’d been surprised when Spock insisted Jim stay with him.
And now as he went into Spock’s kitchen to get a glass of water, he saw Spock standing outside on his patio talking to Uhura. They were standing very close and Uhura had her hands up on Spock’s shoulders.
A lump formed in his throat before he could prevent it. What the hell was he even doing here? Later, he’d probably hear them having sex in Spock’s bedroom. And he-he’d just wish he died after all.
He hated all this. Hated feeling like he did.
One thing that had definitely changed since he woke up from being dead. His emotions were all over the fucking place and just now he felt the prick of tears.
God, he was damn pathetic.
The patio door opened and Jim wiped frantically at his eyes.
“Captain? Are you all right?” Spock hurried into the kitchen.
Jim turned away. “Yeah.”
“Are you in pain?”
“No. I just…” And the stupid tears started rolling down his cheeks.
Spock seized his arms and turned Jim to face him. “Captain? Jim? What is wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine,” Jim insisted.
“Please.” Spock suddenly looked stricken. “Your crying disturbs me.”
Jim pushed away. “Well, I can’t help it, okay? Don’t watch then.”
“That is not what I meant,” Spock said softly, though he allowed Jim to free himself. “Your well-being is important to me.”
Jim snorted. “Because of your duty.”
“Negative.”
Jim chanced a look at him. He couldn’t read anything in Spock’s expression.
“I am aware that you do not share my regard and perhaps even find it a burden but—”
“Your…wait. What? Your regard?” Jim’s jaw dropped open.
“I wish to ensure your safety and well-being at all times,” Spock said softly.
Jim drew in a shaky breath and then stepped closer. “When-when you say regard, just…what do you mean?”
“Captain—”
“Spock, don’t-don’t ‘captain’ me right now. Do you share my feelings or not?”
“Share?” Spock stared at him dumbfounded.
“God, you are the most infuriating—”
Spock cut off his tirade by reaching for Jim, grasping his arms and pulling him up against him. “There is something we need to discuss.” With a shaky hand, Spock touched Jim’s cheek.
“Later.” Jim pressed his lips to Spock’s, whose mouth softened and opened under his with a slight hitch of breath. “Take me to bed.”
“Has Doctor McCoy cleared you for strenuous sexual activity?”
“Strenuous, huh?” Jim smiled against Spock’s mouth. “That sounds pretty good.”
“Jim—”
“But if you”re worried, how about you just fuck me real slow?”
