Spock had only been seeing Jim for three weeks when Jim announced he would be leaving for a good part of the month of November.
They’d met at the beginning of the school year. Spock had already done all the course work for the Academy and graduated. Jim was behind him a few years but he was speeding through his courses and was teaching a battle tactics class for extra credit. Everyone Spock knew was highly impressed with the young son of George Kirk who had never known his father.
Spock among them.
It took him until the middle of October before he asked Jim out. It was for something simple coffee and tea. Jim had accepted with this soft smile that showed his bunny teeth and Spock had been smitten.
They’d taken things rather slowly, in Spock’s opinion. In the three weeks they had seen each other nearly every night, they had shared a few kisses, but nothing more.
He’d gotten advice from Pike one day and he had shared with Spock that despite appearances and rumors that Jim was actually shy.
When Jim told him he would be going away for November, Spock had been stunned into momentary silence.
“Nothing to say?” Jim asked, with that same soft smile.
“Are you leaving the Academy?”
“No.” Jim laughed though Spock didn’t know what was funny. Jim laughed a lot and it often puzzled Spock but it was such an infectious laugh, Spock didn’t mind. “I’ve cleared it with them. I’ll be back before the end of the month. My friend will be covering my battle tactics class while I’m gone.”
“Where are you going?”
“I have a friend I need to visit on a faraway planet.”
He never said what planet and after he left, Spock realized he should have asked. He’d only said he would be back on November 21 in the afternoon.
Jim had said before he departed, “Don’t worry, Spock, I’ll be back before you know it.”
That turned out not to be true. Spock knew that some said time flew but all Spock realized that each day with Jim gone was agonizingly long.
Spock had fallen in love with Jim without even knowing it. And when Jim did come back, because Spock found himself almost praying that he would, Spock would make sure Jim knew.
At some point Spock began to become concerned that this “friend” Jim went to visit was a lover. He hadn’t explained and Spock hadn’t thought it was right to ask, but now he wished he had. There were so many things he wished now.
In the meantime, he would have to wait until November 21st.
Vanik knew his two uncles, Spock and Jim, were not having a costume party, per se, but he didn’t get a chance to dress up in a getup, well, every, so he dressed in a medieval knight costume, made of fabric rather than steel, of course, and headed over to their apartment in eager anticipation.
He was momentarily nonplussed when the door did not open as soon as he knocked. They had been expecting him.
Vanik knocked again.
This time it opened after a short hesitation and his uncle, Spock, stood there. He did not look happy to see Vanik. He never did, of course as no Vulcan wanted to look happy, but this was a…specific unhappiness.
“Vanik, I think we have to cancel tonight.”
Vanik stepped inside the apartment, filled with dread. He recalled the winter season when his uncle had made a mess of everything with Jim and Jim had gone to Riverside. Vanik had to go after him to fix things. He certainly hoped Spock hadn’t sent Jim packing again.
Then he saw Jim.
Jim was pacing back and forth, looked very upset, and had a red face as though he’d been crying.
“What is wrong? What happened?” Vanik asked.
“Vanik.” Jim stopped. Shook his head. “I’m sorry, buddy, but I can’t do this. Not tonight.”
And then to Vanik’s astonishment Jim left both him and Spock standing there in the living room, departing for the bedroom he shared with Spock.
Vanik turned to Spock with a questioning look. “What have you done?”
“I have not done anything. I am not responsible.” Spock eyed him. “What are you supposed to be?”
“A knight. What has him upset if not you?”
“Vanik, this is adult stuff and—”
“Please do not dismiss me as though I am incapable of understanding adult upsets. If our plans are canceled I would like to know why.”
Spock was quiet for a moment, then nodded. “Jim’s brother was here in San Francisco and failed to let Jim know. When Jim asked him about it he told Jim he had no desire to reconnect with any of his family members, Jim included.”
“That is terrible.”
“Yes. Jim says he doesn’t really have a family and he’s been upset since.”
Vanik crossed his arms over his chest. “And you told him that was wrong, right?”
“What?”
He sighed. “We are his family. It sucks that his brother is too stupid to want Jim in his life, but that does not mean Jim has no family. He has us. We are his family. Plus, I believe Jim still has his mother, wherever she is. But regardless, he definitely has us.”
“True.”
Vanik nodded. “You go in and tell him he has all the family he needs.”
“Vanik—”
Vanik stared Spock down, but to his satisfaction Spock finally went to the bedroom.
Many minutes passed but Vanik decided to occupy himself by getting all their food, snacks, and candy ready. If Vanik was correct, Jim would come out and wish to gobble lots of food. Humans often ate when upset and Jim was no different as far as Vanik could tell.
A half an hour later, the bedroom door opened and both Jim and Spock came out.
Jim smiled when he saw what Vanik had done to set up the place for their festive night.
“This looks great.” Jim walked over to Vanik and knelt down beside him. “And I’m sorry.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
“I am. Thanks to you. Spock told me what you said. And you’re right.” He gave Vanik a hug which Vanik happily returned. “Now let’s get this party started.”
It was a food fest as well as a scare fest and Jim even let Vanik sit on the couch with him and Spock.
Jim eyed him out of one closed eye. “I’m not a dog. Not this year.”
Boyce got close to Jim in the hospital bed and scanned him with a medical equipment. “What are you supposed to be? Big Foot?”
He raised his arm to block the light Doctor Boyce shined in his eyes. “Ouch. Do you mind?”
“What is his condition, Doctor?” Spock asked from somewhere in the room. Jim couldn’t see him.
“Seems to have a bit of a concussion.”
“Seems?” That was Bones. Sounded outraged too. “What kind of a doctor are you?”
Boyce straightened and gave Bones the evil eye. “Listen, son, I was treating injuries when you were still in nappies.”
“Can we maybe focus on me?” Jim wondered.
“You’ve got a nasty bump on your noggin.” Boyce smiled. “No fleas though.”
Jim would have rolled his eyes except it would have hurt.
“You’re going to have to spend the night for observation.” He glanced over, Jim figured, at the other two. “Your boyfriends will have to come back tomorrow.”
Bones choked.
“Boyfriend,” Spock said icily. “I am Jim’s mate.”
“Oh. Okay. I assumed you were a threesome.” Boyce patted Jim’s shoulder. “Get some rest. I’ll send a nurse in to remove that costume. Whatever it is. Try not to end up here next Halloween.” He eyed Bones. “Now that I think of it since it was the other one last year and this kid here this year, it’ll be you next time.”
“Over my dead body,” Bones mumbled.
Boyce looked at Jim. “What happened anyway?”
“I slipped in, uh, cow, uh, you know, at the Halloween Festival and hit my head.”
“Ah.” The doctor nodded. “That explains the smell. The nurse will give you a sponge bath too. You two out.”
“But—”
“Out. He needs rest. Come back in the morning.”
Then all three of them left and shortly after Nurse Ratchet appeared a few minutes later. She seemed to take pleasure in yanking his ruined costume off and rubbing his skin raw.
Jim looked over his shoulder at Spock, who had just come into Jim’s quarters from their shared bathroom.
“It’s a ghost.”
“A ghost?”
Jim grinned as he finished hanging the “ghost” from his ceiling. It was a round ball covered in a white sheet with glowing red eyes, and with a remote control it would wiggle and fly a bit with spooky music playing. He stepped off the step stool.
“I had this when I was a kid. When we had that break on Earth recently and I saw my mom I asked her if I could have it.”
“Why?”
“She was going to throw it away if you can believe it.”
Spock eyed it. “I can believe it.”
Jim laughed. “It’s spooky season so I wanted to hang it up.”
“So it will normally not be hanging from the ceiling?”
“No, I guess not.” Jim grabbed the remote and pressed it, grinning madly while Spock watched it with undisguised derision. When it was still once more, Jim grabbed Spock and kissed him. “How about that chess game?”
Much later, in the middle of the night, Jim turned it on again, cackling when Spock sat straight up in bed.
When Spock rose, his hair standing on end, his hands on his hips, he glared at Jim.
Sam gave his brother a nasty look. “I changed my mind. Another day.”
“But it’s almost Halloween and you said—”
“I’m not going to carve a damn pumpkin with you, all right? Halloween sucks and you’re too old to be dressing up and going trick or treating and carving pumpkins.”
Jim stood there holding the pumpkin he’d wanted to carve. He could feel the sting of the tears pooling in his eyes, and the painful lump in his throat.
Sam crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Anyway, you need to grow up. Things are going to change around here.”
“Change?”
“That’s right. I’m making plans to split.”
Jim blinked, aware that dislodged some of the tears he’d fought to suppress onto his cheeks. “You can’t leave.”
“Watch me.”
“Keptin, we’re beginning the pumpkin carving contest. Didn’t you want to compete, sir?”
Jim forced a smile as the memories of Sam’s cruelty and abandonment got pushed aside. “I think there are plenty of competitors, Ensign. I’ll be happy to judge.”
Chekov nodded. “Okay, Keptin.”
Jim was aware of Spock moving over to appear by his side. “Hey.”
“You are not participating in the festivities?”
“Not these ones, no.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “The whole…pumpkin carving thing sort of brings up some memories from my childhood I’d rather forget.”
He remembered throwing and destroying that pumpkin he’d picked out of so many at the pumpkin farm after Sam’s rejection. It made him sad the instant he’d smashed it to bits. All it had done was upset him, not Sam, and Jim figured he’d learned an important lesson that day.
He turned to face Spock when he realized the Vulcan was watching him carefully.
“What?”
“I do not like it when you are…melancholy.”
“Sorry, sweetheart.”
“You owe me no apology. I know that this relationship is new for both of us, I just do not know what to do to clear the clouds I see in your eyes sometimes.”
Jim smiled and put his hand on Spock’s arm. “You’re doing good, I promise. Help me judge these things?”
“Of course. Though I am not certain I can be entirely unbiased. Nyota has entered.”
“Yeah? What’s she doing?”
Spock paused. “Us.” Jim laughed. “This I gotta see.”
Jim heard Spock’s approach after he finished the debriefing with the Federation Council. Felt the warm touch of their newly established bond in his mind. It was like a caress. Comfort after a long, trying day.
For a moment they stood side by side watching the president and council go their separate ways.
He turned to face Spock with a welcoming smile.
“Well, Mister Spock, I guess I’m dismissed.”
“You saved millions of lives once more.”
Jim smiled just a tiny fraction. “It’s never just me.”
“No,” Spock acknowledged. “But you are a large part of it. You are a highly competent leader.”
“Thank you, Spock. That’s…that’s quite a compliment from you.”
“And I mean every word.”
“I know. That’s what it makes it so meaningful.” He sighed, looking over the now empty chamber.
“Yet I sense your disquiet through our bond.”
The bond they’d had to establish because of the recent mission that saved all those lives.
“We should probably talk about that, don’t you think?”
Spock looked somewhat uncomfortable. “Your life was in danger and I—”
Jim held up his hands. “No, I know. I’m not…mad or anything. I don’t know what I am other than grateful. I suppose I’m more concerned with how you feel about it and how you’re doing.”
“Me? I assure you, Jim, I am perfectly content with matters as they stand.”
“Perfectly content.” He smiled again, faintly. “You have my scrambled brain connected with yours. Are you sure it’s contentment you feel?”
Spock gave him a puzzled look. “Perfectly sure. I am content by your side.”
“You don’t seek glory, huh?”
“Glory?”
Jim shook his head. “You’re remarkable, Spock. Really. You don’t want to…I don’t know…do something to get me out of your head.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No. I mean I like the way you feel here.” He tapped his head. “But I bet you’re getting the bulk of it, right?”
“Yes. I can shield though. Our compatibility is quite extraordinary.”
“Good to know.” Jim took a step forward, with Spock on his heels. He stopped and looked at Spock. “I need to tell you something.”
“Tell me something?”
“Before I forget or let it go or just…push it aside again. Like always.” Jim sighed. “I don’t think I ever told you this.”
“Jim?”
“You’re my hero.”
“Captain—”
“No, hear me out.” He swallowed heavily. “I’m…I wouldn’t be here without you. You’ve helped me so much. And you always stand by me silently, letting me get the accolades. You were just…like you said…content to be there, offering me your quiet support and strength. You’re amazing. You really are my hero.”
Spock just stared at him.
Jim smiled and put his had on Spock’s arm. “It’s not unnoticed. Not by me. It’s here.” He thumped his heart. “I know the truth. I’m here and able to do what I’ve done because of you.”
And now Jim figured he’d made Spock uncomfortable, so he turned to keep walking. But Spock grabbed his wrist and stopped him from moving forward.
“I am by your side because I want to be. You receive glory because it is deserved.”
“Spock—”
“And there is no one I would rather share a bond with.”
Jim’s smile widened. “Well then. I guess we really have a lot to talk about. Shall we?”
Spock inclined his head. “Indeed.”
And they left HQ together, Jim couldn’t stop stealing glances at Spock, but that was okay, every time Spock was looking right back at him.
When Spock arrived to see him, Jim was sitting up in bed and when Jim saw that Spock was bringing him a drink, he brightened.
“Spock, you’re my hero if that’s Bones’ special Autumn Spiked Punch.”
Because Jim had managed to incur the wrath of some hairy spear throwing alien he was currently confined to the medbay instead of at the Autumn Ball being held for crew morale. Typical.
“It is most certainly not,” Spock said, handing the cup to Jim. “It is pumpkin spiced tea.”
Jim made a face but he accepted the cup.
“How do you feel?”
“Like I’m missing out.”
“T’hy’la, it is not even very interesting. I was there and it was merely a few people drinking, laughing, and dancing.”
Jim sighed. “Oh, yeah, that just sounds terrible. Drinking and dancing. Nothing fun about that.”
“I did bring you a scone with your tea.” Spock handed him a wrapped baked good.
“Swell.” But Jim took a bite. “It’s good.”
“Doctor McCoy said you can be discharged day after tomorrow.”
“Two more nights?”
Spock nodded. “And then you will be off for twenty four hours.”
“What?”
“I will be off too.” Spock paused. “To take care of you.”
Jim perked up. “Okay, that sounds good.”
“I thought you might think so.”
“No Autumn Spiked punch though?”
“No.”
Jim sighed again and sipped his tea. He watched as Spock pulled up a chair.
“You don’t have to sit with me.”
“In fact I do.”
Jim smiled. “Okay. But when I fall asleep, it’s okay to leave.”
“I will keep that in mind.”
Much later, Jim woke in the night to see Spock still sitting beside his bed. He sighed softly and went to sleep.
Jim knew he had to be the adult here, but adulting was hard. At least in some circumstances.
He had never planned to have kids. He had decided long ago he’d make a terrible father. Sometimes he revisited that opinion but even still such a thing hadn’t been in his plans.
Being faced with Sam’s son, therefore, hadn’t ever even been something he considered. Sam had abandoned Jim long ago. Jim hadn’t even known there was a kid until he’d been notified after the end of the five-year-mission that Sam and his wife had been killed in a shuttle crash on some planet called Deneva.
Their son, Peter, now seven years old, was living with Jim’s mom.
Jim approached the boy as he sat on the back porch of the Kirk’s farmhouse. It was late October, but at the moment it was still relatively light outside.
Jim carried a largish pumpkin with him.
“Hey.”
Peter glanced at him but did not smile or greet him in return. He was seated on the bottom step of the porch.
Jim sat down beside him. It wasn’t as easy as it used to be.
“I brought a pumpkin. Thought you might like to help me carve it.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, though. It’s just Spock’s going to carve one and we’re going to have a contest as to whose looks the best.” Jim sighed. “He’ll probably cream me without your help.”
Peter looked at him. “You don’t wanna carve it with him?”
Jim smiled. “Too much competitiveness between us. I mean, sure, he’s my husband, but he likes to prove he’s better than me.”
“Seems illogical.”
“Sure does. And if you don’t help me, I’ll be stuck with your grandma and she’s the world’s worst pumpkin carver.” He gently ruffled Peter’s hair. “We can have hot apple cider while we do it. And cookies.”
Peter looked like he was thinking about it and then he nodded. “Okay, sure.”
Jim patted his leg and stood. “Grab that pumpkin and let’s go.”
His nephew had lost both of his parents and was devastated. Jim knew. It wasn’t much, Jim guessed, but a bit of progress with Peter was better than nothing. He put his hand on the kid’s shoulder and smiled as they entered the house.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 