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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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ivansfanfiction

A Sad Day

Tonight was awful.

We lost one of our babies, Crazy.

IMG_3513 She hadn’t been feeling right the last couple of days, throwing up and not eating much, so M made an appointment for her Tuesday morning. When we got home from work to take her, she was bad. Really bad. Hiding from us (sick cats hide). She didn’t fight us going, which is very unusual.

Anyway, after waiting for the vet forever the vet said she felt a mass in her tummy. They did an X-ray and she had probably multiple masses. She was fading before our eyes and after discussing options, we made the very very hard decision to let her pass peacefully. We were with her with she died. I kissed her little head.

From the first time I saw her, I fell in love. We went to look at kittens after we lost our old cat a few months before and M wanted Luna because she was short haired. My gaze had fallen right on a little black fluffy lemur looking kitten. I kept going back to her but M was stuck on Luna. So we chose Luna and the adoption guy said since she was a kitten they had a policy that you had to adopt two. I don’t know if he was full of crap or saw the love in my eyes, but I went right to Crazy and scooped her up. She purred and purred. It was love.

I cannot tell you how much joy, love, and laughter she brought into my life when I really needed it. There were so many many times she made me smile and laugh but only cry this one time, her last.

I miss her so much already and I will always will.

Monday Ramblings, November 05, 2018

Leaves

Okay, so this past weekend I updated both When I Loved You and Didn’t We Almost Have it All. And did a one-shot called Seriously. Not bad. Wasn’t sure I was going to get to update anything this weekend.

During the week I will try to get an update to my Kirk family story, The Ties That Bind. One may wonder where Spock is in this story. He’s coming. I promise. That’s the last one that hasn’t been updated since September. So I’m making progress.

Where My Demons Hide comes after that and I am on the course for the end for that one. I hope to have it finished soonish. Maybe when I get to it, I will just write it to the end. Maybe not. Because, I also need to finish the Christmas story and get serious on the T’hy’la Bang story.

The good news for those last two is they will be finished when posted. A really hard thing for me folks! HA.

Wednesday is Outlaw King day, so that means a certain actor’s penis. Yes, I will be watching. Duh. The movie is apparently violent but we shall see how that goes. I just want to see him, beard and all, LOL.

No movie this week as there’s nothing really out we want to see. I did finally see Halloween. I liked it. There were some head scratching moments, I will not deny. But for the most part, it was decent. Not It decent, but decent. Speaking of King, I also saw they are remaking Pet Semetary. I swear they can’t come up with anything new to make.

As I write this, my lower back is killing me. It’s hell getting old, you know?

 

 

WDPLUF, Chapter 5

Short chapter but it’s something to move the plot into the next part I’d like to happen

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When Spock had not seen Jim for two days, he walked over to Jim’s house himself.

After ten minutes of waiting after he knocked, Jim opened the door. He looked a little beat up, a little worse for wear, and pale. He wore a t-shirt and jeans.

“Jim?”

“Hey.” Jim looked back in the house and then back at Spock. Then he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. “Hey,” he said again.

“You have been hurt.” He felt like he was stating the obvious, but Jim’s appearance disturbed him.

“Yeah.” He moistened his lips. “Got into a fight with him.”

“He struck you?”

“It’s fine, Spock.”

“It is not fine.” Spock made a move forward, but Jim put his hand on Spock’s arm.

“Can we just…go somewhere?”

Spock drew himself up and stared into Jim’s blue eyes. “Where would you like to go?”

“The city? Walking? I don’t care. Anywhere but here.” Jim’s hand on his arm dug in but it was not painful. “I’m glad you came. I wanted to see you but—”

“You did not want me to see you in this condition.”

“Yeah. My family’s fucked up, Spock. I just wish he’d disappear.”

“I will take us in my hover car into the city. Lunch perhaps?”

“Sure. But I have to…get my additive. I have these problems. I’ll tell you later.” He moved to go back into the house and Spock wanted to stop him, because he did not like the idea of Jim returning here. But he didn’t. He let Jim go.

Fortunately he came out a moment later and Spock led him back to his own house to get the hover car.

Jim was quiet on the ride into the main city and he did not comment when Spock pulled in front of a vegetarian restaurant.

“Is this acceptable?”

“What?” Jim’s gaze cleared, and he nodded. “Yes. Yes. Sure.”

After getting a table, Jim leaned back and gave Spock a strained smile. “So, um, I guess I should tell you about Tarsus.”

“Tarsus? You speak of Tarsus IV.”

“Yeah. I was there.”

“Jim—”

“I don’t really talk about it. A lot. I mean I see doctors. There’s one here in the city. She thinks, I don’t know, that I’m unstable or whatever.”

“You do not seem that way to me,”

Jim smiled. “Thanks. Anyway, um, I got poisoned by the fungus. A lot of did. The ones that survived. So I have to add this to stuff before I eat.” He shrugged. “No big deal.”

“I think that it is, actually, a big deal.” Spock found himself reaching for Jim’s hand and also feeling glad when Jim gave it to him. “If you ever desire to talk to a non-judgmental party, I am here to listen.”

“I-I appreciate that.” Jim’s smile widened. “This almost feels like a date.”

Spock felt his cheeks heat. He looked down at his menu. “Do you think?”

“Spock. Is it?”

His gaze rose to meet Jim’s, held those blue eyes. “Would you like it to be?”

“Never mind that. Would you?”

Spock gave a simple nod. Then he saw Jim’s cheeks turn pink. He nodded too. And Spock let out the breath he was holding.

“Then it is a date.”

“Our first, huh?”

“Unless you count sharing a bed last night.”

Jim grinned. “Totally counts. In a platonic way.”

“Jim.”

“Yeah?”

“I am sorry he hurt you,” Spock said softly. “And I do not want him to hurt you again.”

Jim nodded. “We’ll work it out, Spock.”

“But—”

“We will. Okay? Let’s just, let’s just have our date.”

Spock dropped it for now because he had to. But he did not want to because he could not stop thinking about Jim being hit. Hurt. It was wrong. And Spock could not just sit by and let it happen.

 

 

Final Thoughts for the Week, November 02, 2018

I have been re-reading for the last week or so, something written I think maybe 5 years ago now, perhaps not finished then, but started surely. Anyway, it’s a long piece and it’s Spirk, of course, because lately that’s all I can bring myself to read, fiction-wise (I am reading on my Kindle a book about poisonings and the beginnings of forensic science and the first actually respectable coroner in NYC, that’s non-fiction, and admittedly dry at times), anyway, I read this Spirk fic when it was first posted back then, it was something I looked forward to the updates. I admired how lengthy she was able to write it and its chapters because I am a very precise writer and admittedly, not particularly flowery or descriptive and despite efforts on my part to rectify that, I am unable to do so. I think I must have had a creative writing teacher who stressed less is more to me one too many times when I was a kid. Anyway, I am definitely digressing.

It’s an AU with both guys as princes and it starts out as correspondence between them before they meet. And there are so many really excellent parts of their story as I recall as I read it again. I remember thinking Spock was, perhaps too Vulcan and unyielding and a little too formal and obtuse as to Jim at times, and while for the most part I still believe Spock could have been softened a bit and there are times I still want to reach through the pages and rip off his bangs, it’s still quite a lovely piece of fiction, I think. Not what I would write at all, and I think, maybe, that’s a good thing. It’s nice to read other perspectives and other views on characters that are not quite our own, I think. It challenges our own perceptions.

And I like to keep an open-mind when I can. I am not always successful, I freely admit it. I am very human and filled with all the fallacies and foibles that go along with that.

I like to be challenged.

I worked hard on A Beginning, for instance, because I desperately wanted to set them apart from my AOS versions, and it seems from the comments I have been receiving that I was successful in that, so I remain very grateful to those who have read it and given me positive feedback.

I am still fighting a bout of melancholia. Part of it is my own selfishness I think. I’ve never been very good at sharing and now that I am having to these days, it brings out the ugly in me. I should probably curtail it. Or try harder anyway.

Time changes this weekend. Falling behind. That’s one of the things we had to vote on this year. If we should stop changing time and stick to one throughout. I voted no, but alas, I think it may pass. It remains to be seen what happens with that but this year, anyway, we still change.

And then, sometimes, I can be surprised by someone, positively so, who comes around unexpectedly, but not at all forgotten, and there are good feelings behind that. And I won’t say more than that here, but it is true.

Thursday, November 01, Ramblings

First up, I have posted my Old Married Spirk story, A Beginning. I know today was the first day for posting, but I had it done, and decided why wait? I don’t mind being first. It is what it is. I hope you like it. The Original Series is not something I write a lot of.

This week I also posted a Halloween story and the next chapter of The Mysterious One, as well as My Devotion. That’s definitely it for the week.

I am returning to working on my Christmas story which is up over 8,000 words already. Once that is done, I will need to get more work done on my T’hy’la Bang story coming in January, as well as everything else I need to do!

I hope to have a pretty quiet weekend ahead of me. Might do some cleaning. We are hosting Thanksgiving this year and the place has a lot that needs to be done before it is clean enough for company. Fortunately I have taken the entire week of Thanksgiving off. I think I have a wine party the weekend before that but that’ll be fine.

We got exactly one child last night, our next door neighbor. Townhome and condo complexes really are ridiculous.

I’ve already voted because I vote by mail though the election is this coming Tuesday. We also change to standard time this weekend and I say, bleh. I hate it dark by 5:00. HATE IT.

Ramblings of the Week, October 29, 2018

What a crappy week last week was. Traffic was just awful almost every day. I had to help a friend Friday and Saturday, which was draining, finally did have today but I had to do laundry and dishes and I’m just exhausted and unmotivated.

Today, Monday, I had to drive in and I hope the traffic doesn’t kill me.

I am trying to finish up my OMS story which must post in November. Which begins Thursday in case anyone was wondering, ha ha. Then I must finish Christmas and get going on my T’hy’la Bang story. Fortunately I started it. Somewhere somehow I need to get a chapter of My Devotion done.

I’ll likely be quiet for the most part this week. Won’t get a new chapter of Where Do People Like Us Float done this week but I think only Kris and Jamie are reading it anyway.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween

 

 

WDPLUF, Chapter 4

Jim woke to the sound of a crash and then yelling. For a moment he lay there, his heart pounding so hard his chest hurt. Had they come for him?

But no.

This wasn’t Tarsus. It was Eldred. And it wasn’t Kodos’ men coming for victims. It was his mother and her husband fighting. Again.

He reached for his earphones and stuck them in his ears but he could hear them shouting right through the supposedly noise canceling buds. Jim pulled them out of his ears, sat up and went to where had left his discarded jeans before going to bed. He pulled them on and then went to the window.

The night was warm so he’d left it open earlier. Now he crawled through it, jumping down and landing in the dirt. He hadn’t bothered with shoes. If he could get away without shoes and socks every day, he would. No doubt why he had a million calluses on his feet already.

The further he got away from the house, the less he could hear them shouting. Frank was probably drunk. He hadn’t ever been physically abusive to her that Jim knew but the emotional and mental abuse took its toll on both his mother and Jim. Back when Jim used to pray, he prayed his mother would kick Frank to the curb once and for all. But instead she gave him another chance. Every single time.

Before he even knew where he was going, Jim realized he had made his way to Spock’s house. It was dark, of course. It was the middle of the night. Spock and his mom would be asleep.

Even still Jim made his way over to the window for Spock’s room. There were small lights flickering within so Jim tapped lightly on the window.

A moment later, Spock appeared and lifted it up. “Jim?”

“Hey,” Jim whispered. “There were lights. I’m kind of surprised you were up.”

“I am meditating.” Spock hesitated. “Would you like to come inside?”

Jim shook his head. “I don’t want to bother your mom.”

“She is sleeping. Come inside.”

Spock moved away from the window and Jim climbed through and into the room.

Jim’s gaze flicked around at all the lit candles. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“It is no matter. You appeared upset.”

“My mother and stepfather were fighting,” Jim admitted. “They woke me.”

“I am sorry. It must be difficult.” Spock gestured to a chair in his room. “Sit. Would you like me to bring you tea? Water?”

Jim sat in the chair and pulled his knees up. “No, I…just wanted to see you again. Sorry for leaving so abruptly earlier today.”

“I took no offense. Would you like to see Butterscotch?”

He smiled a little. “If I could…I mean is she sleeping?”

“I believe so but I can wake her.”

“No. Don’t. I can come back another day.” Jim bit his lip. “Gives me an excuse to come back.”

“You need no excuse, Jim. I enjoy your company.”

“Yeah?” Jim felt himself blush. “I don’t really make friends easily.”

“Nor do I.”

Jim glanced at Spock in surprise. “Really?”

“Quite true.”

“But why? You’re so cute.” Fuck. “I mean smart. So smart.”

“Jim.”

“Yeah?”

“I find you…cute also.”

Jim sucked in a breath. “Spock. I, uh, wow.”

Spock’s lip curved upward just slightly. “I, too, am gratified. Jim, why do you not spend the night? That chair pulls out to a lounger. You can return home in the morning with no one the wiser.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I do not.”

“How old are you, Spock? If I may ask.”

“I will be one and twenty very soon. And you, Jim?”

“I turned eighteen a month ago.” He sighed. “Didn’t finish school though. Because of…circumstances.”

Spock nodded. “That is unfortunate. But perhaps I could assist you in catching up on your education.”

Jim grinned. “In between lyre lessons?”

Spock’s lips twitched. “Indeed. Go to sleep, Jim. We will talk more tomorrow.”

****

Spock was awakened later by Jim whimpering and crying out in his sleep. At first Spock was not sure what to do but eventually he rose from his bed to where Jim thrashed about as he was unable to allow the younger man to be in so much distress.

“Jim.”

Spock knelt next to the chair, his hand outstretching toward Jim’s face.

“Jim.”

He shook Jim slightly. To enter Jim’s mind, even for good, without his permission would not be right. He needed to find another method of waking Jim. He dropped his hand to his side and shook Jim again, more persistently this time.

Jim gasped and came awake instantly, eyes wide and frightened. “Where—”

“You are here with me, Jim. You are safe.”

Jim grabbed Spock’s arms. “Spock?”

“Yes, Jim.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Guess you should have made me go home.”

Spock shook his head. “It is fine.”

“It’s not fine,” Jim insisted. “I have nightmares. A lot. And you certainly didn’t bargain for those.”

“I did not,” Spock admitted. “But I suspect you find it no bargain either.”

Jim smiled. “No. No, I don’t.”

Spock glanced toward his bed and then back to Jim. “May I make the suggestion that you sleep in the bed with me? Perhaps being close to someone will ease your nightmares.”

Jim bit his lip. “I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“If I found the idea troublesome, I would not have suggested it.”

The smile returned. “Yeah? Okay. I-I’d like that.”

Spock rose from next to the chair to allow Jim to get up and walk over to Spock’s bed.

For a moment, Jim simply stared at the bed. Then he got in without looking at Spock and then Spock got in without looking at Jim. He pulled the sheet and blanket up over them.

“Goodnight, Jim.”

“Goodnight.”

When Spock woke in the morning, Jim had already gone, but there lingered there in his bedroom a hint of Jim and Spock liked it.

Tuesday October 23, 2018

Autumn

I didn’t get to see Halloween today. I got a new laptop and Fedex wouldn’t deliver it without a signature so I ended up staying home. But M went to work. The two main freeways near us conspired so that there was no way for us to make a 5 O’Clock movie. He called me at 5:00 still in the city we both work from, some 30 miles away from home. Ah. well. I will try again next week!

I am in a serious funk. I did write a little more on my OMS story today but nothing else and no matter what I looked at I just felt nothing. I did get Where Do People Like us Float updated so you can expect that on Thursday morning. But otherwise…nothing. I feel bad, but not bad enough to force it I guess.

Friday and Saturday are filled up with that friend we are helping, so I am greatly looking forward to Sunday when I can finally relax.

We just had to pay a whopping property tax bill and everything is so damn expensive. Plus I am so sick of politics and our president and so many other things. It’s just so fucking depressing.

So anyway, please forgive me for not updating anything. I’ll keep trying.

Ramblings of the Week, October 22, 2018

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So, anyway, as you no doubt know by now, I considered deleting The Sight as I have lost my inspiration for it. I was going to just delete it without word but at the last minute decided to ask about it. I was kind of surprised I had a more positive reaction to the story and more people wanting me to keep it to get to again some day then I had anticipated. So, for now, it stays.

I was able to get the update for Nine Lives done. Next I need to write the last chapter for my Professor Spock conclusion so that I can have it done in plenty of time to post it on Halloween. That’s what I intend to do next.

I think after that I will be updating My Devotion but not sure when I will get to it. This is a pretty busy week. Tomorrow we are seeing the new Halloween (got my tickets already). Thursday is our WW and Saturday we are helping a friend with her festival appearance in Ventura. That’s pretty much an all day thing as it goes until 5. Our friend is going to a Halloween party after that but we are going to dinner after ourselves.

I also need to finish my OMS story for November. I have quite a bit done on it now and I can post it any time in November. I also need to finish the Christmas story. And as I indicated in comments, I have signed up for the T’hy’la Bang which posts in January. I think I have an idea but it would involve a lot of sex so we shall see.

I think that’s it for this week.

 

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