Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Jim waited to see Captain Pike in a crowded waiting room. He knew Pike was a busy man. He knew he probably should have gotten an appointment. But he hadn’t wanted to wait for that but apparently he was having to anyway.

He felt pretty stupid. Mortified might be a better word. He stared down at his now bleeding cuticles. He’d been picking at them since he’d been sitting there waiting.

And he had to pee. But he was afraid if he got up to do so, the severe looking brunette ensign manning the desk outside Pike’s office would skip right over him and give the next slot to someone else waiting.

“Kirk. Cadet Kirk,” the Ensign said in a loud, nasally voice.

Jim went up to the desk and she sniffed. “He’ll see you now.”

He nodded and went past the desk to the double glass doors. They opened at his approached and he stepped inside.

Behind a large oak desk sat Pike. He hadn’t seen the captain since that day in Riverside Jim got on the shuttle after Pike dared him to do better.

Pike looked up and gestured to a chair in front of the desk. “Jim. Have a seat.”

“Thank you, sir.”

After Jim took the chair, Pike raised both eyebrows in query. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yes, sir. I have a request to make.”

“Okay.”

“I’d like to be reinstated to Professor Spock’s Merits of Logic class.”

Pike steepled his fingers. “That course is an elective and not required for command.”

“I realize that. But it was a course I found interesting prior to my…being kicked out.”

“And why were you booted from that class, Jim?”

Why?

****

Jim smirked as he read the text from Feeney. It was a stupid text, really, and only mildly amusing, but he responded to it anyway.

So what if I do want to sleep with the teacher? He’s hot. You want to too, don’t even pretend otherwise.

And then Jim located the “eggplant” 🍆emoji on his communicator and added it to his text.

I’ll bet his is massive.

Jim looked up at Spock’s back just before he hit send. He was busy demonstrating something on an overhead screen. Jim hit send.

And Feeney, the swine, burst into loud guffaws.

Jim turned red and slunk down in his chair just as Professor Spock turned around.

He glanced at Feeney who was still making a loud nuisance of himself and then to Jim as Feeney took a second to point to Jim.

Spock stepped forward. “Your communicator please.”

“Uh.”

“Your communicator, Cadet Kirk.”

Jim cleared his throat. “I’d rather not.”

Spock thrust out his hand.

Jim handed him the communicator.

Spock frowned slightly. “Why is there an eggplant on your screen?”

And the entire class busted up.  

****

“I see,” Pike said slowly. “So you were disruptive, inappropriate, and insubordinate.”

Jim winced. “It could be viewed that way.”

“It was viewed that way by Spock. And he’s not wrong. Request denied.”

“Sir—”

Pike held up his hand. “Spock requested that you not be reinstated.”

“He knew I would request it?”

“Apparently. He also requested that there be no mark on your record for the dismissal from the class. He did likewise for Feeney. As I said, this was an elective course that you don’t actually need so the only reason for you to want to go back is to prove something that no one thinks needs proving. And of there is nothing else, Jim, you’re dismissed.”

“Sir—”

“Jim, I have a lot of people waiting out there to speak to me. And this is Valentine’s Day and I still need to get flowers for my wife. So, dismissed.”

Jim left, realizing there was really no point to arguing further.

He went to the restroom on his way out and then left the building feeling dejected.

He should be celebrating. He would have no mark on his record and it would be one less class he’d have to deal with for the semester.

Too bad he had liked that class and most especially Spock. And his idiotic foolish behavior with Feeney had cost him that. And likely any chance he ever had with the Vulcan. If there had been any, really.

He was only vaguely surprised to find his best friend, Leonard “Bones” McCoy, waiting for him.

“How’d it go?”

“I’m not allowed back in.”

Bones nodded. “Consider yourself lucky because that class was boring anyways.”

Jim frowned. “Anyway.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t need the s after anyway. That’s not correct.”

“Are you the grammar police?” Bones demanded.

“A guy has to have something. Apparently it’s not going to be on my record that I got kicked out though.”

Bones chuckled. “His massive eggplant.”

Jim groaned. “Don’t remind me. I feel stupid enough as it is. So where are we going tonight?”

“Tonight?” Suddenly Bones looked uncomfortable. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“So?”

“I have a date, genius.”

“Wait. What? I thought we’d go stag.”

“You thought wrong. Sorry, Jim. But this time you’ll have to find something to do on your own.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

As it turned out, Jim went home to his dorm room alone. He was, admittedly, feeling sorry for himself. His reputation as some kind of Lothario was mostly exaggerated anyway. And the only one he really wanted to spend time with wouldn’t give him the time of day.

Jim had just opened a bottle of whiskey to drown his sorrows when there was a knock at his door.  

Standing there was Spock. One hand was behind his back, but in the other was a brightly wrapped box.

Jim blinked. “Uh.”

“May I come in?”

Jim stood back to allow him inside. He glanced around his messy room. “I, uh, I wasn’t expecting anyone so the place is a mess.”

“That is fortunate.”

“It is?”

“Not the mess part, but that you were not expecting someone.” Spock held out the box. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

His mouth dry, Jim opened the box. He stared at the large eggplant inside. “What—”

“It is my massive eggplant.”

Jim’s gaze flew to his, his face hot with embarrassment. “Uh—”

Spock shook his head. “It is an effort at a joke, Cadet.”

Then he brought his hand from behind his back to reveal a large bouquet of at least two dozen pink and red roses.

“These are for you.”

“I don’t understand it.”

Spock sighed. “You cannot be a student in my class and date me.”

Jim’s mouth dropped open. “Did I…are we going to be dating?”

“I have presented you with flowers and my eggplant. I would think it was obvious.”

Jim laughed. “I see.” He tossed aside the eggplant, grabbed the flowers, and planted a long lingering kiss on Spock’s lips. It was returned most enthusiastically.