Santa Baby

Advent Day 9

“Did you see December?”

Spock’s ears perked up. Not literally, of course. But he guessed the two unimaginative ensigns he happened to be walking behind were discussing the Starfleet Calendar that had just come out to for next year’s use. It was a publicity recruiting tool of some sort that Spock didn’t quite understand.

They had asked various well-known Starfleet officers to participate for each month of the calendar. Spock had been asked to take part but he had, logically, declined. However, he had learned that his captain, James T. Kirk, had accepted the invitation. And he also knew that the captain had been given the month of December.

Since it was December at present, according to the old Earth calendar at any rate, which Starfleet was following for this project, he knew that it was a year before Jim’s month in the calendar. Unless, and Spock had not anticipated this, they decided to go with the 18^th month calendar idea. There had been some talk that they might have so many participants that they’d have to go that route.

Spock had yet to see the calendar so he was not certain.

“Are you kidding? Not only have I seen it, but I’ve already drooled over it.”

The other ensign chuckled. “Right? I’m just gonna skip over the other eleven months and go straight to the captain.”

That confirmed for Spock that it was indeed only a twelve month calendar.

“I dunno. Commander Marcel’s pretty hot in March. I think they made her uniform even skimpier.”

“All those pictures are kinda risqué. More than I guessed they’d be. Thought they were gonna be tasteful.”

“I’ll take this one! Tasteful schmasteful.”

Spock had reached his destination, the medbay, so he went through the doors rather than pursue the ridiculous conversation between the two ensigns.

McCoy looked up from his tricorder, which he held over Nyota, who did not look at all well.

“She’ll be fine. Just a bit of sickness left over from that landing party a couple of days ago.”

Nyota smiled wanly. “Leonard says I need bedrest. Guess you’ll have to go to the holiday party without me.”

“I do not need to go.”

“But you should,” she insisted. “You can go with Jim.”

McCoy’s glance went between them, looking suspicious.

“We shall see.”

“All right, Lieutenant. Off duty for forty-eight hours. That ought to do it.”

She jumped down from the biobed.

“Nyota, if you do not need assistance getting to your quarters, I would like a moment with the doctor.”

“No, I can manage. Talk to you later? And go with the captain!”

McCoy was eyeing Spock in an assessing way. “Well?”

“Have you seen the Starfleet calendar?”

The doctor blinked in surprise, clearly not anticipating what Spock wished to discuss. “Yeah, I have. Why?”

“Do you have it?”

“The paper copy or the digital?”

Spock thought about it. “Paper.”

McCoy nodded, and walked over to another area of the medbay. He picked up the calendar and went right to December, clearly guessing now what Spock wished to know. He handed it to Spock.

There was Jim in a Santa hat and little else. He was mostly naked except for the hat and a candy-cane striped satin jock strap, leaving nothing to the the imagination, as far as Spock was concerned. He had one leg lifted higher than the other, resting on a glittery gold box tied with a ribbon to look like a Christmas package. And speaking of packages…the posture was provocative. 

“This is the picture the captain submitted?”

McCoy shrugged. “I don’t think so. He submitted one where he’s wearing a suit and Santa hat with a wreath around the picture.”

“Then how did this happen?”

“Something about a prank. Some old friend of his sent that one in and the ‘Fleet liked it. Look, Spock, if you really want to know, why not go talk to Jim?”

“I intend to do just that.”

“About time,” McCoy muttered under his breath.

Spock arched a brow, but said nothing. He ripped out December’s picture from the calendar.

“Hey!”

“You still have the digital calendar,” Spock replied, as he turned and left the medbay.

****

“Uh, hi, Spock.”

Spock held up the December calendar picture.

Jim turned red and laughed. “Uh, yeah. That’s…I tried to talk them out of using that one. But Admiral Komack—”

“Doctor McCoy said it was sent in by an old friend of yours.”

Jim licked his lips and nodded. “Look, that was, that was a long time ago. You can kind of tell, you know? Look how young I was. It was just…it was a silly time, right?  I was goofing off. And anyway, I’m pretty sure some of that picture was touched up or manipulated.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t remember it looking quite like that, honestly. But Komack liked it.”

Spock exhaled. “Komack is a pervert.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. Okay, fair point.” His smile slipped. “You aren’t mad, are you?”

“No,” Spock replied. “But I wish to check.”

Jim frowned now. “Check?”

“To see if that picture has indeed been touched up or manipulated. I wish to see for myself. CAPTAIN.”

“Spock, are you…” Out came the tongue again. “Are you really saying…”

Spock grabbed him and pulled him close. “You talk too much.”

“Spock—”

He shut Jim up. Yes, he was going to enjoy seeing if that picture was real. Either way, Spock knew, he would be…satisfied.