I have a bit of a lump in my throat as I share this with you. I hope that I did them justice, this Jim and Spock, who I started with so long ago. I am going to cry, honestly. Because they are done. This started me and the fanfiction, folks, The Bond Between Them. And that’s why after I started writing this journey for them, I chose that Jim and Spock.This concludes that whole series. Today I post it here, probably tomorrow it will go on AO3. I am sad. Not because it has ended sadly, but because it has ended.
When Spock woke early in the morning, Jim was no longer in bed with him. He rose in a panic, flying up from the bed, wrenching open the door, and heading out into the rest of the house when he heard murmured voices.
Jim and their son.
“Do you remember, Dad, when you saved the universe?”
“Which time?” Jim asked. He sounded amused.
“The time with V’ger.”
Jim hesitated. “Not…really.”
Suvoc nodded. “You were an admiral then, and Captain Decker was in command. You were going to do as they asked, and command the Enterprise, but first you spoke to me about going to New Vulcan with Sa-Mekh’s counterpart.”
His mate sighed and Spock moved to go to him. To rescue him from this frustrating conversation with their son. But he held himself back for a moment more.
“I don’t. I’m sorry. I wish I could.”
“It is all right. I will remember for both of us.” Suvoc grabbed Jim’s hand and squeezed it gently. Spock was always grateful for how gentle Suvoc was with Jim. Even before Jim’s illness, Suvoc treated Jim with a tremendous amount of love and respect, and Spock was very proud of the boy who had become their son. “It was when I asked you for permission to call you father.”
“And yet, you are calling me dad.”
“I have never know, truly, what is your preferred title,” Suvoc admitted. “I chose father then, because I wanted so very desperately to be Vulcan, and not show any of my human side.”
“Yes. But over the years, I have discovered that rather than being either Vulcan or human, I will simply be what I am…me.”
“Ah. You are wise beyond your years, kiddo.”
Spock smiled slightly. It had been years since Jim had called Suvoc that. And he recognized the pleasured flush in Suvoc’s face that he had noticed and appreciated it as well.
“I wish for you to know, that though I waited for that moment to ask if I could call you father, I had long before that thought of you that way, and no matter the outcome of this day and this meeting with the healers, you are my beloved father, my dad, and my favorite parent.”
Spock straightened from where he stood.
Jim laughed. “That’s what you get for eavesdropping. I told Suvoc a long time ago, it wasn’t a good thing to eavesdrop.”
“You recall that, do you?” Spock asked as he gave their son a reproachful look. Suvoc arched a serene brow. He bent down to kiss Jim’s forehead. “Good morning, T’hy’la.”
Jim was full of surprises this morning, and Spock felt himself flush similar to Suvoc. He firmly quashed down on the flare of hope that rose. In the early days, Jim had a lot of good moments. Having them now meant nothing, especially as they hadn’t even met yet with the Vulcan healers.
Jim was quite fully human, and Spock was unsure if Vulcan healers could even help him, but Suvoc wanted to try, and Jim was willing, so what protest could Spock even make?
After breakfast, the four of them left the house, himself and Jim, and Suvoc and Ronan. They had decided to walk. It was warm, but not overly so, and the temple where the healers waited for them was not far.
Spock could feel Jim’s anxiety and he began to worry it came from him and echoed back at Jim, who shot it back at him. He didn’t want to affect Jim or his feelings about this matter, but it was so much harder to shield these days than it had once been.
Jim kept hold of Spock’s arm as they walked and that was at least some small comfort for both of them. Jim had always been very touchy feely and the days when that would have bothered Spock went out with the first time Jim joined their minds. He was not ashamed that he craved Jim’s touch as much as the reverse.
When they were inside the foyer of the Healing Temple, Suvoc stopped them.
“Wait here. They are expecting us but wish to learn what instructions they have for us.”
Ronan faded away into the shadows, and Spock noticed he was good at that, giving them privacy. Spock took Jim aside.
“T’hy’la, how do you feel?”
“They will not harm you, no matter the outcome.”
“I know,” Jim said softly. “It’s just…you have so much invested in this. I would hate for it to fail.”
“We do, Jim. This is for both of us, yes, but mostly so that you can be yourself again, for whatever years you have left.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“So you have said before and as I have said, you are not.”
He leaned into me then. “I know what you plan if this fails. You think I don’t, that you are hiding it. But we’re bonded, Spock. Even if I’m not right in the head, I know.”
“And what of it? We made promises to each other.”
“Long ago promises. When I was young and thought I’d live forever.”
“That changes nothing, T’hy’la. Just as you didn’t want to face endless years with dementia, I did not want to endure endless years without you. Nothing has changed in that regard.”
“I will not have the lonely, empty existence of my counterpart.”
“He lived some good years.”
Spock shook his head. “He existed, Jim. But no, he did not live. I know. You must trust me.”
Jim looked away. “So if this fails, and I fail more, you’re going to end this. For both of us.”
“Peacefully and without pain.”
His gaze returned to Spock’s and held it, trapped in a million memories between them.
“They are ready,” Suvoc said, as he returned.
The first healer that touched Jim’s mind was the son of Stonn, and for a moment, Spock thought to protest, old biases of his own rearing up, but the healer only looked upon Jim with kindness and reassurance and the protests died on Spock’s lips. Sons could be better than their fathers.
“My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”
The healer stayed in Jim’s mind for more than an hour, but Spock monitored each moment, somewhat anxiously, by sight and by feel, and there were no signs of distress.
Another healer waited after him, this one a female, as young as Stonn’s son, and her touch to Jim’s face, and to his mind was gentler still.
More time passed and Spock grew more anxious. When she was done, she lay Jim down on a bed.
“Fear not,” she said to Spock and Suvoc. “He is well. He needs a period of rest, of sleep.”
“We can help him. He will need several treatments over the course of weeks, so he must stay here for a time, but already he will see improvement.” She turned to Spock. “Your mate has a remarkable mind, even now. He is very strong. There will still be times that he may have momentary forgetfulness, but that is to be expected in the aging mind. He is human and whether or not we wish it, they do not last as long as us.”
Spock felt emotion coming up from his pounding heart and into his throat. He nodded his understanding.
Suvoc turned to Spock. “This is good news, Sa-Mekh, yet you look upset.”
“I did not think…I dared not hope.”
Stonn’s son stepped forward. “The mixed blood in him.”
“He had a significant transfusion, did he not?”
The healer nodded. “It has helped. And it will help us with the treatments. He may yet live longer than you imagined.”
“But not with…dementia?”
He inclined his head. “As my wife has explained, there may be some forgetfulness, as expected with aging, but yes, the disease that is in his mind, his brain, it is treatable.”
Spock went to the bed they had laid Jim down on and knelt beside it. He put his hands to Jim’s face, to examine his mate’s mind himself. To check for changes, damage from them, though he expected none, he had to be sure.
Jim opened his eyes, vivid blue looking at Spock. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Spock returned. “How do you feel, my James?”
Three years later
“There they are,” Jim exclaimed, clutching Spock’s arm.
And yes, as Jim said, off the shuttle platform came first Ronan and then Suvoc, holding on to their almost three year old son. He squirmed in Suvoc’s arms as soon as he spotted the two of them.
With a shake of his head, Suvoc set his son down.
“Grandpa!” he screamed, running to Jim, who with a hearty, joyous laugh leaned down to scoop up the child.
Suvoc and Ronan reached them as Spock walked up to Jim and the boy.
They’d been on New Vulcan for a while, and had now come to San Francisco for a visit. Suvoc had informed Spock they were considering relocating to San Francisco permanently. He had not yet informed his husband, but he knew Jim would be thrilled.
“Now. Let’s see.” Jim peered at the boy. “What’s your name again?”
The three adults tensed automatically even though they all knew it was a game between Jim and the child.
He giggled, which was an odd thing in a three quarters Vulcan, one quarter Human child. They’d used a Vulcan surrogate as they’d decided to help with expanding the population. And to Ronan’s credit, he fully embraced the son that was not his biologically.
“I know! It’s Gordon!”
Jim laughed and tickled him to the point he was squealing in laughter. Both of them actually. “Okay, okay. George. Your name is George.”
“Yay!” Tiny arms encircled Jim’s neck.
Suvoc smiled. And, for Spock, it was nice to see. He was so much freer than Spock had been at that age. Or ever would be, Spock supposed. But Suvoc had Jim and Ronan as influences, and young George did too. Spock was beyond pleased to call them his family.
“I have presents back at the apartment for you,” Jim told George as he carried him toward the exit of the shuttle bay, not bothering to wait to see if the other three adults followed. They would, of course. Jim commanded authority. Always had and always would.
Spock put his hands on the shoulder of Suvoc and Ronan. “Come. We’ve been cooking all day.”
Life was not perfect and never would be, Spock thought, but it was as close as it ever would or could be.
And from Jim:
Me again. I feel good these days. Better than I have in years and I know I have the Vulcan healers to thank. That and my family.
I never would have imagined when Spock and I…Spock and Me…you know, I still forget grammar sometimes, anyway, back when the two of us bonded after that shuttle crash, when I accidentally bonded us, it would ever get to where we are now. Happy, old, with a child, and a grandchild. Still madly in love.
Well, I don’t know. Maybe I should have known, should have guessed. Maybe I had such a shitty childhood, so that one day, I could have this.
Whatever. What I do know is…the bond between us is stronger than ever. Between me and Spock, of course, always, and between us and Suvoc, and Ronan, and George.
I miss others. Ambassador Spock who gave us this. Each other. And Suvoc. Bones. I’ll always miss Bones. Scotty. Uhura. Most are gone now. But Spock and I, we remain.