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Monday Ramblings, November 05, 2018

Leaves

Okay, so this past weekend I updated both When I Loved You and Didn’t We Almost Have it All. And did a one-shot called Seriously. Not bad. Wasn’t sure I was going to get to update anything this weekend.

During the week I will try to get an update to my Kirk family story, The Ties That Bind. One may wonder where Spock is in this story. He’s coming. I promise. That’s the last one that hasn’t been updated since September. So I’m making progress.

Where My Demons Hide comes after that and I am on the course for the end for that one. I hope to have it finished soonish. Maybe when I get to it, I will just write it to the end. Maybe not. Because, I also need to finish the Christmas story and get serious on the T’hy’la Bang story.

The good news for those last two is they will be finished when posted. A really hard thing for me folks! HA.

Wednesday is Outlaw King day, so that means a certain actor’s penis. Yes, I will be watching. Duh. The movie is apparently violent but we shall see how that goes. I just want to see him, beard and all, LOL.

No movie this week as there’s nothing really out we want to see. I did finally see Halloween. I liked it. There were some head scratching moments, I will not deny. But for the most part, it was decent. Not It decent, but decent. Speaking of King, I also saw they are remaking Pet Semetary. I swear they can’t come up with anything new to make.

As I write this, my lower back is killing me. It’s hell getting old, you know?

 

 

Thursday, November 01, Ramblings

First up, I have posted my Old Married Spirk story, A Beginning. I know today was the first day for posting, but I had it done, and decided why wait? I don’t mind being first. It is what it is. I hope you like it. The Original Series is not something I write a lot of.

This week I also posted a Halloween story and the next chapter of The Mysterious One, as well as My Devotion. That’s definitely it for the week.

I am returning to working on my Christmas story which is up over 8,000 words already. Once that is done, I will need to get more work done on my T’hy’la Bang story coming in January, as well as everything else I need to do!

I hope to have a pretty quiet weekend ahead of me. Might do some cleaning. We are hosting Thanksgiving this year and the place has a lot that needs to be done before it is clean enough for company. Fortunately I have taken the entire week of Thanksgiving off. I think I have a wine party the weekend before that but that’ll be fine.

We got exactly one child last night, our next door neighbor. Townhome and condo complexes really are ridiculous.

I’ve already voted because I vote by mail though the election is this coming Tuesday. We also change to standard time this weekend and I say, bleh. I hate it dark by 5:00. HATE IT.

Rambles to End the Week, October 12, 2018

This week I posted a one-shot, The Kirk Curse. I really wanted to make it a multi-chapter fic, but alas, I did not.

I also finished Idiots in Love. Go me! I only had this one going for three months, so that’s a huge win that I was able to finish it.

I also updated An Autumn in Harmony, Hello Darkness, My Old Friend, and Bitter Frost. A very successful week.

Next week you can expect another chapter of Where Do People Like Us Float, The Experiment, The Mysterious One, and Nine Lives.

This weekend I plan to chill again. Watch some of those movies I mentioned, have some cozy time with M, do some necessary food shopping, etc.

Unfortunately it’s supposed to get windy on Monday which is never good and the temps are going up with it a little. Ugh. I’m still promised cool nights according to the weather so that’s a plus.

I got some more Christmas decorations. I ordered from Hallmark. A gift for a friend. And also, a new Heat Miser Ornament (he’s standing on a stove), a Link from Zelda ornament, the Naked Time Star Trek Ornament, the Tricorder ornament, a metal Enterprise ornament, a tiny teapot ornament for my sister-in-law, a tiny bird ornament (we get the new one every year), Aladdin’s lamp ornament, um, and I think that’t it. It should be! Damn,

Oh and I ordered a new crystal elf from Swarovski.  And a gingerbread house from there too but that’s for the sister who is paying for that.

So, yes. I do need to stop. Yes.

Where Do People Like Us Float Chapter 2

Chapter 2:  Jim

“Time to go to sleep, kiddo.”

His mother hovered in the doorway of his room as Jim looked up from his PADD. He had the lights off but the lights from his game still lit up his bedroom.

“Mom, I’m not a kid any longer.” He made a face. “And I’m almost to the boss of this level.”

“The doctors recommend you get a lot of rest, Jim. You’ve been overtaxing yourself. You don’t want to have a relapse.”

“Just a little longer? Okay?”

She leaned against the door frame, arms folded across her chest. “Okay but like fifteen minutes and then put it away. Please.”

Jim nodded, “Okay.”

“Don’t forget your appointment is tomorrow.”

Like he could forget.

“Yeah.”

“Honey, she just wants to help you. They all do.” She came into the room and sat on his bed. “We came to this planet because she was here and she comes highly recommended. She specializes in your condition.”

He shrugged.

His mother sighed heavily. “You could actually cooperate, you know. Doctor Cassadine is an expert in dealing with trauma as well as eating disorders.”

“I don’t have an ‘eating disorder’.” He did air quotes. “I was poisoned by the fungus making it pretty much hard to eat most food.” His bottom lip trembled. “And all she wants to know is how it makes me feel.”

“I know you saw terrible things. She’s concerned about the long lasting mental damage.”

He set the PADD aside. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m worried, Jim.”

“Don’t be. I’m fine.”

“You barely touched your dinner.”

“It upset my stomach.”

Mom frowned. “I used the additive that’s supposed to make it more edible for you.”

“I don’t like stew anyway.”

She reached over and smoothed out his hair. “Because of the meat?”

He lowered his gaze. “Even the smell is sickening. I told that asshole.”

“James Tiberius.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. I told your husband and he made it anyway.”

She shook her head. “I don’t have that much of the additive left, Jim. The new shipment hasn’t reached us here. You can’t afford to waste food with it in it now. You’re not eating enough as it is. You don’t want to go back to the hospital, do you?”

“No,” he whispered.

“I’ll make you pancakes in the morning before I leave for work. Frank will take you to your appointment.”

“I can get there myself you know.”

“We don’t have enough hover cars for all three of us and he needs to go into work to pick something up. You can right with him. I’d let you come with me but I’ll be there all day tomorrow. Once your appointment is done, you can both come back here as he’ll be working from home.”

He nodded.

“And try to do some studying, okay? I know you’re almost caught up with your online school work but you missed so much that there’s still more.”

“I know.”

“Frank is trying, you know. You could try too.”

“Is he? Like he did with Sam?” Jim couldn’t keep the note of defiance out of his voice.

“He made mistakes. He knows that. We all did. I’m sorry you ever got sent to that awful place.” She touched his cheeks. “But we decided we’d work on trying to be a family when we came here. Frank knows you’re my priority. You could meet him half way.”

Jim didn’t really think Frank was trying at all and he wanted him to leave him and his mom alone and go back to Earth or Hell or wherever he belonged. But he made himself nod.

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Please go to sleep. Pancakes in the morning.”

After she closed the door after him, Jim rose from his bed and went to the window in his room. He sat on the ledge, looking up at the stars. He wondered where Sam was. Was he on one of those distant planets he could see? Did he ever think of Jim?

Probably not.

Out of sight, out of mind.

But he’d met someone today.

A Vulcan.

****

“Are you ready for this?”

Jim stared at Frank as he stood outside the hover car. He pointed to the earbuds firmly shoved into his ears. He could still hear but he sure as hell didn’t want Frank to know.

Frank glared at him, pointing at the door. “Get in the car. I ain’t got all day.”

Jim almost corrected his grammar but that meant admitting he could hear, so he got in and turned away from Frank.

“Damn kid. I should rip those things out of your ears. But you’d just cry to your mother.”

Frank didn’t say anything after that as he sped into the main city of Eldred. The place was a dump but it was better than Tarsus, anyway.

Jim hiked his feet up on the dashboard.

“Feet down!” Frank screamed, turning beet red.

Jim almost said fuck you but he let it go and moved his feet down a fraction.

Frank pulled up in front of the office building that housed Dr. Cassadine’s office. One thing Jim could say was that she was cute anyway. Not as cute as the Vulcan boy he’d met. Spock. Jim was having trouble not thinking about it. And when he got home later, he planned to sneak over to see Spock and the kitten. He had a feeling Spock was going to keep her.

“I’ll be back to get you so don’t fucking going anywhere, you shit.”

Jim flung open the door and got out, not at all surprised when his mother’s husband sped away immediately. Jim flipped him the bird as he turned to look at the building. He had half a mind to just skip the whole thing. But then Dr. Cassadine would call Winona and then she’d give him hell and make him reschedule anyway.

Soon as he turned eighteen in a few months he was out of there and he’d kiss them both goodbye. All he had to do was bide his time.

He pushed open the door and then went to the elevator, pushing the button for the eleventh floor. Dr. Cassadine was the only office on this floor so the elevator doors opened up onto her receptionist.

An older woman eyed him as he approached her desk.

“Sally.”

“You’re two minutes late. She’s waiting.”

Dr. Cassadine had her dark hair pulled up into a tight bun perched on top of her head. And she wore glasses, the old fashioned kind that made her look kind of bookish. She sat behind her desk, hands folded in front of her.

She smiled in welcome. “Good morning, James.”

She insisted on calling him James even though the first few sessions he’d had with her he had repeatedly told her he preferred Jim. He gave up mentioning it because clearly she wasn’t going to bother listening to him.

He sat in the big plush leather chair situated directly in front of her desk.

“Water?” she asked.

“No.”

“Very well. Tell me about your morning.”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant. And it was boring.”

Her smile widened. “How about you give me a few more details?”

Jim leaned back in the chair. He was tempted to put his feet up on her desk just to see her reaction, but he resisted. “Woke up. Brushed my teeth. Had pancakes for breakfast. Took a shower. Got dressed. Got in the hover car with Frank. Came here.”

“Pancakes. Your mom used the additive?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And did it change their taste?”

“I guess. I mean, sure, I can taste it. But I couldn’t eat them at all otherwise.” He shrugged.

“Did you want to eat them?”

“Listen, I don’t have a disorder. None of this is psychological. You can check my records. I was poisoned by the fungus.”

“I know that, James. Did you want to eat them?”

“I guess so.”

“Do you get hungry?”

“Not this again.”

“One of the side effects of the fungal poisoning is loss of appetite. It’s a legitimate question.”

He looked at his feet. “I don’t really get much enjoyment out of eating now. I eat to live. So, no, I guess I didn’t really get hungry.”

“And that’s what we’re going to work on. There’s some evidence that trauma such as you suffered can contribute to your condition. I can’t fix you physically but we can work on the trauma to perhaps help with your appetite.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“The truth. James, I know how unhappy you are. And I know about your suicide attempt in the hospital. Your mom said you agreed to come here and get treatment. We decided to start with outpatient, but if I feel it’s in your best interest to check you into my facility—”

“I don’t need that.”

“Then maybe you can start cooperating with me here. Tell me about your distaste for meat.”

“Tastes change.”

“So, it’s not about Tarsus?”

“No.”

“You flinched when I said that word, you know.”

Jim’s jaw locked. He said nothing.

She tapped something into her PADD.

“How are your studies coming along?”

“Good. I’m almost done with the years I missed.”

“Do you think you’ll make friends here, James?”

“Maybe.” He thought of the Vulcan.

Spock.

“I met my neighbor.”

****

“Get in.’ Frank barked as he pulled up to where Jim was standing outside the building waiting. “I’ve got work to do and the sooner we’re back home the better.”

Jim got in and had barely closed the door before he was off again.

“I won’t ask you how it went because I can only imagine the smartass answer,” Frank said snidely.

Jim said nothing.

“Your mama wants me to take anger management classes if you can believe that.”

Jim glanced at him. “Are you going to do it?”

“Yeah right.’ Frank belched. “There’s nothing wrong with me. Your brother was a little prick. Fuck, even you know that. He would have made anyone lose it. And I was totally justified in sending you off planet after all those stunts you pulled. You were a little punk. I didn’t know what was going to happen. Nobody did.”

Jim could blame Frank for a lot of things. Like sending him there in the first place, but yeah, as much as he fucking hated Frank, and he did, he knew Frank hadn’t known what would happen. How it would change Jim forever.

Frank pulled up in front of the house. It was much smaller than their farmhouse back in Riverside. And Jim hated to admit it, but he missed it there. This house only had three bedrooms. His, theirs and a room his mom had put exercise equipment as well as office stuff in. It was one of those manufactured houses that went up in like a day and took even less time to tear down.

Frank went immediately into the room with the office equipment and shut the door. Was fine by Jim. He hoped he stayed in there all the rest of the damn day.

New One-Shot

Sleeping With Spock is live

Just some Updates and Cat talk

The Hike is done. Yippie! Hope you like it.

Now I can turn to The Sight when I feel like it. Not sure when that will be as I’m doing some reading at present. But it will come in due time, no worries there.

Most of you know Crazy the cat. I got her, well, I don’t know five or six years ago now? Got her in January that year and she’d been born in November I think and Luna in October. Anyway…the point is, I’ve had her a while.

She’s got her issues. She has breathing problems and eats her own fur (she’s nicknamed Crazy for a reason). All these years we’d been feeding her mostly Fancy Feast wet food and broths. They get fed 3 times a day. They always have dry kibble. Anyhow, she always mostly licked the gravy off and left the rest.

One day recently, our friend mentioned that her elderly cat quite enjoyed the Sheba Perfect Portions Pate food. They come in twin packs. You break one open and feed the whole thing to the booger. Anyway, Luna hates pate food. So she gets Cuts, which they also make. Anyway so we tried the Perfect Portions Pate and now Crazy is crazy for them! HA HA. She gobbles them down each meal like we hadn’t ever fed her anything proper for 5 or 6 years. Animals!

Should be a nice weekend weather wise and birthday dinner wise. Quietish after the recent weekends of busy busy.

Briefly

If you haven’t had the chance to check it out, I updated Where My Demons Hide yesterday. I have updated Idiots in Love today. I haven’t decided what to work on next but thought I’d advise that those have been updated in case you missed them.

 

 

Expectations and Thoughts

 

star-trek-4-kirk-and-spock

So I have learned something or decided something, I don’t know which.

But, I am never going to live up to the expectations of readers. There is always going to be someone who wants me to update a work in progress faster, always someone who wants me to write the story the way they want it done, etc. I am not going to be able to finish every story I start to someone’s exacting satisfaction.

There are people who likely become discouraged when I post something new rather than update something they want me to finish and that’s a valid feeling, but I have to do what I must do. I will continue updating as I do, by either spreadsheet or whim, because something calls to me, and I will either have people who want to read it or I will not.

The alternative to me writing and updating as is a personal experience for me is for me to quit altogether because there’s too much pressure or anger or disappointment in me. And I am frankly too old to feel miserable over writing something that is fun for me.

Over the past year there are several projects that I ended up deleting because I either felt pressure about them, lost the enthusiasm, or didn’t get the reaction I hoped for. I don’t like deleting stories I have created, because they are so personal. But on the other hand I don’t want to work on something neither me nor a reader is getting anything out of. I try to make this a rare occurrence but it does and has happened.

With the current WIPS I have going, I have no intention of deleting any of them.

I do have a Christmas story in the works and I also need to do an Old Married Spirk story at some point before November, so yes, more as yet unposted stories are coming from me. If you feel like reading my unfinished stories as I update them, I am grateful. If not, then that’s all right too.

I used to work so so hard to get people to like me and to be popular, I’d put aside everything in my own life to write write write. Because I thought that’s the only way I could do it. And sure, my work is definitely more appreciated than it was when I started, and I’m happy for that, but there will always be creators of fanfiction more appreciated than me, no matter what I do, and so I need to let that go. I’ll never be number one. That’s okay.

I’m working on finishing False Memories, hopefully to post tomorrow, as I won’t get a chance to this weekend. The Love of a Lifetime continues tomorrow. After False Memories, I still hope to write the next chapter of Bonding (the story here on the blog only at this point), and then move on to Where My Demons Hide. But neither of those will make it until next week.

Thank you for your continued support and understanding. I love my followers here, you are all my friends now, I like to think.

Be well!

 

Rambling Update, July 18, 2018

So what am I working on at present?

Well, I started the next chapter of Nine Lives. I feel like I need to move forward with this story. It’s been fun to write but Spock has been a cat for a long time now and I feel like there needs to be payoff here soon. So that’s where my thoughts are going with that story.

Otherwise I am preparing to begin penning/typing the next chapter of My Devotion. The other day I was looking at my statistics and there are a crazy insane amount of subscribers to that story. I don’t know if all of those people are still reading it but it was great to see the interest there anyway.

Everyone has their favorites and everyone wants those updated faster and next, of course, and I totally get that, so I try to update as in order as I can but also with the idea of current popularity in mind, which is why you saw some frequent updates on Idiots in Love.

As I indicated prior, though, I am coming up on a very busy month for me, August (not to mention expensive), so I will do the best I can. I am going to Solvang, the Hollywood Bowl, and San Diego, one right after the other after the other.

This weekend, I believe anyway, that I have it free. Thankfully! Then beginning with the last weekend of July (mom’s 92 birthday), I go in to the busy period until the end of August.

So anyway, look for Nine Lives coming soon. And we will see after that.

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