Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings



Updates and Rambles, July 26, 2018

Okay so where are we at now?

I updated Idiots in Love earlier this week. More people are on Jim’s side than I thought would be the case. Interesting.

And got up the first chapter of My Heart’s a Virgin, It’s Never Been Tried (thank you Alice Cooper). I’m going to have fun updating this one soon.

And just now I posted the 18th chapter of Anything. I loved writing this chapter. It made me get teary-eyed. This Jim, my beloved Kelvin Jim, so deserved that chapter. I hope you will agree. I figure I have about two chapters left. One where Sunny Kirk and his Spock have their reunion and then a wrap up chapter where everyone is back in their own universe and content.

I do apologize but the next part of The Love of a Lifetime will not be up tomorrow. I hope to have it up Saturday. Just got busy doing other things.

I also have not gotten to When I Loved You as I decided to update Anything instead. So hopefully early next week for that as well as Didn’t We Almost Have it All. This is the Mother 92 weekend. So I will do what I can do. Next weekend is Solvang so that’s even busier.

I’m up to about 35 pounds weight loss so go me!

That’s the update for now.

Messing Around


Jim flopped down on his bed in the dorm and groaned. “Oh my God.”

Bones was already rising from the bed next to him, reaching for his medical bag. “You’re sick? What happened? Someone slip you something? You get into a fight? I have a hypo for that.”

“No, Bones. I’m not sick.”

Bones paused, hovering over Jim. “Not sick?”

“No.” Jim sighed and closed his eyes. “I just had the most amazing sex of my life.”

Bones sat down and buried his face in his hands. “This is about sex?”

“No. Not sex. Sex.”

“I’m too tired for this. With who?”

“Uh. Well. That’s it.”

“What is it? And I know I’m going to be sorry I asked.”

“I, um, don’t know. But God it was incredible. He was.”

Ramblings June 26, 2018

I’m very pleased to have finished You’re in My Veins. Like most stories involving my boys, I probably could have gone on forever, or at least a few years. But I felt I had come to a place where I at least could end it.

That leaves only The Experiment left for my current WIPS for the Professor-Cadet series which is now up to like 21 stories. I am sure I will think of more because honestly those stories, set in the Academy, are my wheelhouse. I love the idea of getting them together at this point.

Not sure if I will get the next part of OMS ready for Friday but I will try.

Next up on updates is Where My Demons Hide. I left it at a very dark place and that’s going to continue but next chapter is going to be very much Spock/Kirk centered. I’ve started it, in fact started it not long after finishing the last chapter, but it’s not ready by any means, nor will it be until next week.

I have an idea for a one-shot too that I hope to start in the not too distant future but I am determined that it will be a one-shot and not go on forever and ever. LOL

Hard to believe next week is the 4th of July already. As I think I mentioned, on the evening of the 3rd we go to M’s cousin who lives in a city that does their fireworks on the 3rd. Weird, but true, and they have done that for years and years. Back in the old days it was free to get into the park near where they let them off and so we often attended with a group of friends. We’d bring blankets and KFC. It was fun. So many years ago now, really, that one of my friends who we used to go with passed away over ten years ago now, so yeah, long time we used to do that. They never put on the best show ever, but it was good. And free at a time where my own city was not (they are now). Then they began to charge and oddly enough it got busier than when it was free. It became such a hassle to get in there and get out that we all sort of mutually decided not to go.

Then M’s cousin started renting a place in the hills of the city and she had the perfect view of the fireworks the city lets off without all the hassle of the crowds. We could cook our own food, drink, play with the doggy she has. All in all a way better experience. We’ve been doing it there ever since.

On the 4th, we will have a bbq at the sister’s house in our own city. Sometimes we walk down to the park that they have the fireworks at and sometimes we watch from her house. Not sure what we will do this year. But the show is one of the best you’ve ever seen. A few years back they had a disaster involving exploding fireworks (no one was killed or maimed or anything) but they had to cancel as we were all sitting there waiting. It was something because as we were walking back to her house the news helicopters were everywhere.

Anyway, I’m blathering. It’s probably my favorite part of summer. Once that passes I am always eager for my favorite time to arrive, Autumn and the holidays! Alas, summer continues merrily burning on! HA

Last week I was talked into seeing Solo. It was okay. Better than I expected and pretty decent if I pretended he had nothing to do with Harrison Ford’s character, ha ha. I liked it better than Rogue One which I hated. This week we will be seeing Ocean’s 8.

Finally finished reading Needful Things. One of Stephen King’s long novels. It’s really sad how the people turn on each other and murder each other in a mob frenzy. I was glad to see some of my favorites in the story actually survived but some of the deaths and some of what went on, just terrible. You’d like to think people are better than that, but in today’s modern times, I can’t think that anymore.

That will be all until next week (unless OMS is updated Friday). Take care everyone and please be careful out there.

The Sight, the beginning

So I am constantly trying to come up with content for the blog that encompasses something other than boring ass me.

I was looking over at my work on AO3 today and re-read a one-shot story I had written and posted last May called Not This Time. It’s very short and also my lowest hits for a Star Trek story (sad ending) and here it is here for reference.

*I should have told you…something. And now…it’s too late. My heart hurts so much. I can’t even breathe. I can’t even see past the tears. I feel so empty. Lost. Your face. Do you know? Do you even know what you were to me? I dreamed of tasting your lips. Touching your tongue with mine. Running my hands over your bare skin. It was not to be.

“Doctor, we’re losing him!”

“Damn it. Get out of the way. Get Spock out of here!”

“No. Jim! I want—”




Jim gasped as his lungs filled with air. He began to choke, leaning on the glass of the observation deck.

What the fuck was that?

“Captain? Are you all right, sir?” Ensign Davers was suddenly by his side, touching his arm.

Was he? He didn’t know. He’d never spaced out like that before.

“Yeah, fine. Thank you, Ensign.”

Davers looked uncertain, but he nodded, practically clicked his heals and saluted, and excused himself from the observation deck.

Maybe he was a little more apprehensive about the mission coming up then he’d thought. Which wasn’t exactly like him.

Shaking his head, he decided it was time to return to his quarters and get some real rest.

As he approached his door, he spotted Spock and Uhura in the hallway outside hers, a little ways down. She had her arms around his neck as usual. And his gut twisted, also as usual. Dumb, Jim.

She kissed Spock on the corner of his mouth and then released him, entering her quarters. Spock turned and headed down the corridor toward Jim.



“If you have time, I would like to discuss the parameters of the upcoming mission.”

Jim shook his head. “Yeah. I don’t. Not really. I’m a little tired and kind of spacey.”

Spock straightened minutely. “It will not take long.”

Jim accessed his door. “All right.”

Spock stepped in after him. “I recommend that you not be part of the landing party.”

Jim pulled off his gold tunic. “Why?”

“The mission does not require two senior officers. And since it is more a scientific mission, my presence is more logical.”

Jim frowned.

Spock stands in front of a native plant, scanning it. He begins to speak, “This is fascinating, Captain. The plant—”

Jim sees the plant turn its-its head or bud or whatever and aim its spores right at Spock’s side, where his heart is.


Jim pushes Spock out of the way and the spores hit him. He goes down.


Jim looked at Spock. “I think Lieutenant Commander Morse can handle the mission. I want both of us to skip it.”


“You have your orders, Commander.”

“Very well,” Spock replied, but he was not at all pleased. Even for a Vulcan. He turned to leave.

“Spock, I—”

Spock turned back. “Captain?”

“Nothing,” he said softly. “Goodnight.”


And Spock was gone.

Jim touched his fingers to his lips.

I dreamed of tasting your lips. Touching your tongue with mine. Running my hands over your bare skin. It was not to be.*

This got me to thinking that I didn’t really want to leave at this for my poor baby. So I started something that I am probably going to post on the blog. Probably just in bits and pieces as the whims hit me and maybe it will be a long process before Jim gets any kind of happiness, but anyway…the following was inspired by the previous, and you might say they are part of the same universe and the same Jim.  So here is the first part, and I’ll add to it whenever.

When Jim was a small boy he sometimes spent time with his gran, his father’s mother. He didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her but when he did, Jim always loved it.

At one time, according to Gran, she and Grandad had owned the farmhouse in Riverside, but they’d passed it on to George and Winona when they’d first got married.

Gran and Grandad had moved to a condominium in Chicago. By the time Jim used to visit Gran, it was only her, as Grandad had passed on right after Sam was born.

Jim was six and Sam nine when they got to spent the winter holidays with Gran. Mom had to be off planet at a space station that had required her engineering expertise for an extended period, including over the holidays, and it had been, mercifully, before Frank had entered their lives.

Jim had never been a good sleeper, even as a small boy, and he had gotten up in the middle of the night, three nights before Christmas, to find Gran rocking in her chair and sipping brandy. He’d crawled into her lap and she spun a tale for him.

“You know, Jimmy, our family has the gift.”

“The gift?”

“Auyuh. The intuition.”


Gran chuckled. “Close enough, Jimmy. You can also call it the sight.”

“Everybody sees, don’t they?”

“Not that kind of sight. This is the ability to see what’s going to happen in the future.”

Jim frowned. He wasn’t sure what Gran was talking about.

“For example, I knew when your grandad was going to have a heart attack and pass on from this life. I foresaw it. And I knew your daddy wasn’t ever coming back from his last mission on the Kelvin.” She shook her head sadly. “But here’s the thing, now, Jimmy. Not all of us have it.”

“We don’t?”

“It can skip some people, some generations. Your daddy, Lord Rest him, didn’t have it. I used to ask him once in a while. But he never did have it. But you.” And she thumped him lightly on the chest. “You might have it.”

“Yeah?” Jim really had no clue what “it” was but the way Gran talked about it, it sounded cool.

Back then, when Gran told him, Jim hadn’t understood. He just knew he loved spending time with her and he loved that holiday time. It was his favorite ever.

And after she passed away and Jim remembered her words, he dismissed them as a story to tell a boy who couldn’t sleep.

When Jim got into the Academy, he began to experience moments he couldn’t quite explain. Like that night, after talking with Pike, Jim had gotten the absolute sense, conviction even, that he would meet someone who would become immensely important to him that next day.

And he had. Bones.

It was just little things like that at first. Easily dismissed.

But then he’d had a couple onboard the Enterprise right after he’d made captain. One where he died saving Spock. One where Spock died because Jim hadn’t been there. He’d been able to stop them, both of them.

It didn’t always work. He hadn’t foreseen Spock almost dying in the Volcano. And he hadn’t really known Marcus was going to betray them until it was far too late. But he had seen his own death saving the ship and he had let that one happen anyway.

Bones saved it, luckily.

Throw Back Thursday 05/17/2018

On July 18, 2014 I posted my first chapter in My Spirk One-Shot Collection Part 1

Miss Me

“Are you gonna miss me?” Jim asked Spock as they lay in the afterglow of love making. He was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, though Spock didn’t seem particularly sweaty, damn the Vulcan.

“You will be gone three days and only two nights,” Spock replied.

“I’ll miss you.”

Spock did not have a response for that and Jim sighed. His head had been lying on Spock’s chest but now he rose up and lay on his side facing Spock, who still lay on his back.

Jim reached for Spock’s fingers with his and stroked them together. “You won’t miss me?”

“I did not say that.”

“You didn’t say you would either.” Jim sighed. “I wish you were coming with me.”

“Both the captain and the first officer are not required.”

“I know, Spock. It’s just…never mind.”

Spock opened his mouth as though to speak, but Jim feigned a yawn.

“Wow, I’m super tired all of a sudden.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on Spock’s lips. “Night, Spock.” He turned to face away from Spock and closed his eyes, trying not to be disappointed.


Jim was dead tired when he beamed on board the Enterprise from the three day meeting he’d had on Starbase 9. God Admirals and dignitaries could talk forever.

He stepped off the transporter pad and managed a weary smile for the chief behind the controls. He was back a couple of hours earlier than originally anticipated, so instead of heading for the bridge, Jim went to his quarters.

A check with the computer indicated Spock was on the bridge, so Jim discarded his clothes and got into the shower. He planned on drinking coffee when he was finished, so he could face the rest of his shift. What he really wanted was about three days straight of sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and exited the bathroom.

Spock stood in his quarters, hands behind his back. For a moment, a fleeting one, Jim was annoyed Spock had entered his quarters without his permission. They had only been…well whatever they were…for a couple of weeks. Spock shouldn’t just think he could enter without asking, should he? But then Jim realized normally he wouldn’t care. He was just still smarting from Spock not telling Jim he would miss him.

“Hey, Spock. Everything okay?” Jim smiled. ”I got back a little early so I figured I had time for a shower.”

But Spock only stared at him.


Spock moved suddenly, so fast Jim gave a yelp of surprise as he was shoved against the bulkhead. The Vulcan slammed his hands on either side of Jim’s head, trapping Jim there.

“What?” Jim asked, his eyes wide with surprise.

Spock crushed Jim’s lips under his, ferocious and bruising. Jim moaned and threw his arms around Spock’s neck, pressing into the kiss, into Spock.

When Jim finally had to come up for air, he blinked hazily at Spock. “What was that?”

“I missed you.”

“Oh.” Jim smiled. “Oh.”

“Is that all you can say?” Spock asked, his pupils blown wide, as his gaze went to Jim’s swollen lips.

Jim went in for another kiss. “I missed you, too.”

Briefly, May 03, 2018



Sorry for another post!

I just updated All I Ever Wanted.

Next week my main updates will be Unbonded, The Experiment and Nine Lives. I won’t be updating anything on AO3 before Monday. My 100 Words story will be posted over the next six days beginning Friday.

Thank you and I appreciate all your endless support.


100 Words Continuation 03/23/18



“I can’t face him. And maybe that makes me a coward, I guess it does. But right now I’m too emotionally invested in all this,” Jim admitted. “So I’m going to message him.”

“Message him what?”

Jim ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know. That I’m sorry. Maybe that it was a bad joke that didn’t come off well. And that he should forget it and we can just go on as we have been.”

Bones blew out a breath. “And how is that, Jim? Barely even friends? Things are more distant than ever.”


I deleted the “Snow White” story on AO3. it just wasn’t getting the reaction I was hoping for and so I got rid of it. I don’t know if I will go back to it some day or not.


I am discouraged. And depressed. Feeling unappreciated. Whether realistic or not.

I feel like I am writing in a dying fandom or something. I don’t know. But nothing has been getting interest lately and I am getting almost no comments, hits, etc.

Yes, everyone is busy and has lives. But so do I and I don’t write for myself. If I did, I wouldn’t be publishing on a public site.

So, what does this all mean? I don’t know. I really don’t.

I haven’t written the 100 words yet for Friday and I don’t know if I will, frankly. Maybe. We will see.

100 Words (Continued from 02/09/2018)

Jim stood up, wincing slightly when he knocked into the board as he rose. A pawn keeled over and hit a knight on its way down.

“I’m feeling unwell, so I’m going to return to my quarters.”


“No, it’s all right, Spock. I just ate something that didn’t agree with me. I’ll just go back to my quarters.”

The truth was he couldn’t wait to get away. He felt sick, all right, but not from anything he’d eaten. But from the plain fact that Spock didn’t feel at all the same. It was a crushing blow.

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