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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

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Continuing story

The Beginning…2

choice 2

“You were bored.”

“No,” Jim denied instantly.

“Nature films are uninteresting to you,” Spock said simply.

“I like animals.”

Spock eyed him. “You yawned two hundred times.”

Jim chuckled. “You’re totally making that up.”

“Perhaps. Did you want to come for tea, Jim?”

His smile slipped and he bit his lip. “I shouldn’t. I want to. But I have this test really early.”

“There are cookies.”

“Cookies?”

“Baked today.”

Jim licked his lips. “What-what kind of cookies?”

“Chocolate chips.” Spock paused, it seemed for effect. “I baked them myself.”

If Jim were a cartoon he’d totally have heart eyes right then. “You talked me into it.”

Spock made the same tea and told Jim to sit.

“Please understand that I used imitation chocolate chips that are only available on Vulcan. They taste very much like chocolate, I assure you.”

“Imitation chocolate.”

“Yes. Vulcans, for certain reasons, do not indulge in chocolate.”

“Are they allergic?”

“Allergic?” Spock shook his head. “Not exactly. More like it intoxicates them. Try the cookie, Jim.”

Jim smiled and took a bite. His smile widened as he chewed. “Oh my God.” He moaned.

“Jim—”

“It’s-it’s obscene.” He moaned again.

“It certainly is.” Spock’s cheeks were flushed green.

Jim choked, then laughed. “Uh. Yeah. Sorry.” He laughed again, blushing himself. “But they are really good. And it totally tastes like chocolate.”

Spock sat at the table and took a cookie. “So they are worth a little loss of sleep.”

“Yeah. Yeah they are.”

“You choose the movie tomorrow, Jim?”

Jim felt a little breathless. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yes.

Before he left he ate two more cookies and then Spock made him take more with him as we was leaving.

“Are you sure—”

“Yes, I made them for you.”

“That deserves a kiss.”

Spock held out his hand.

“Nope.” Jim grinned and leaned in and planted his lips on Spock’s. “Goodnight, Spock.”

Spock’s dark eyes had definitely turned warm and melty. “Goodnight, Jim.”

The Beginning…1

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“You didn’t have a good time,” Jim said as they left the movie theater, glancing at the Vulcan walking in sync beside him.

“I did not say that.”

“You never laughed or even cracked a smile.”

“Was I supposed to?”

“Come on, Spock. That movie was a comedy. I laughed my ass off.”

Spock stopped suddenly on the sidewalk and turned to look behind Jim. “It appears your ass is intact, Jim.”

Jim laughed. “God, I can’t believe you just said that.” He grinned. “So you did have a good time?”

“While the movie lacked the entertainment value for me that it seemed to have for you, I found the experience gratifying.”

“Me too. Damn, I don’t want this night to end. I wish there was somewhere we could go.”

“I know of an all-night place for tea if you are amenable.”

“Yeah? You bet I am. That sounds great.”

And he felt a little floaty as he walked beside Spock for about three blocks. When they stopped in front of an apartment building, Jim gave Spock a quizzical look.

“My apartment is the all-night tea place.” His cheeks were very slightly green.

Jim nodded. “That sounds great.”

Spock made them tea, an orange spiced flavor, and they sat at his dining room table.

“You do not mind having tea here?” Spock asked.

“Mind? Of course not. This is great. And the tea is good too.” If he had butterflies, he ignored them. Okay, not really, but he tried.

He’d been so surprised when Spock had accepted his invitation to the movies. Something he’d thrown out at the spur of the moment when Spock had noticed Jim staring at him one day in the Academy’s cafeteria.

“I anticipated you’d be more of a coffee person, Jim.”

“I love coffee. But I love tea also. I like them both. Why only like one when you can like them both?”

At the quirked brow he received in response Jim thought maybe he answered wrong.

“That’s-that’s just for beverages. By the way.” Jim felt his face heat. “In case you were wondering.”

“I see.”

“Well. Not only for beverages. I mean I like both guys and girls, too. Anything really.” God, now he was babbling. “But not more than one at a time. If that’s what you thought.”

Spock tilted his head. “I had not thought that far ahead, actually.”

Jim swallowed tea too fast and burned his tongue, but he forced a smile. “Right. I should probably, you know, go. Movie tomorrow? You can pick this time.”

Spock nodded and rose. “I would like that. I should walk you home,” he said when they reached the apartment door.

“Nah. Because then who would walk you home? And then we’d have to go back and forth, walking each other home, and we’d never make it where we were supposed to be. Where’s the logic in that?”

“When put that way—”

“You didn’t think I could be logical.”

“No.”

Jim laughed. “See you tomorrow, Spock. And goodnight.” He thought of something. “Hold up your hand.”

When Spock did, Jim touched his index and middle fingers to Spock’s.

“That’s right, yeah? A Vulcan kiss, right?”

“It is not exactly a kiss. It is a rather intimate way of holding hands between mates.”

“Oh.” Jim bugged out his eyes and dropped his hand away. “Sorry.”

Spock’s lips twitched. “You owe no apology, Jim. Goodnight.”

And for the first time, well, in ever, there was a bounce in his step going home.

100 Words Continuation, June 12, 2018

Jim narrowed his eyes and moved his hand away. “I know that, Spock. I’m not stupid.”

“Jim, I never intended to imply that you are stupid.” Spock was suddenly feeling very weary.

“I just meant that we could go to his grave or something, that’s all.” Jim lowered his gaze. He pushed away the bowl of cream of wheat. “Not hungry.”

“Would you like to have the donut?”

Jim looked up hopefully. “Could I?”

“Yes.” Spock rose and went to the cabinet to get the powdered donut package. He brought it to Jim.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said softly.

“I know. It is fine, ashaya.”

Message…3

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Clearly that was not going to happen now. And as he reached the door of his next class, he just kept walking. And walking. Off the campus and all the way to the docks.

All the bad thoughts entered his head before he could stop them. If he would have even tried to stop them.

Please stay.

Are you crazy? I’m not sticking around here. Not with him.

Take me with you.

Get real, Jimmy. You’re a burden.

What you want doesn’t matter. You are no one.

Think you’re so smart? Well, you’re stupid. So stupid even your mother has had enough. You’re going away for a long time, Jim. You’re leaving Earth.

I was hoping you died with the rest of those losers on the planet. Damn it, we can never catch a break.

Repeat offender.

Loser. Why are you such a loser?

Burden.

You are no one.

Stupid.

Loser.

Jim scrubbed his hand over his face.

I do not believe this is working.  

His communicator beeped. Jim blew out a breath and pulled it out.

“Hey Bones.”

“Jim, where the hell are you? I’m here at the dorm. Thought we were moving you out today to Spock’s. Sulu and his boyfriend are here too.”

He clenched his eyes closed. “Yeah. That’s off.”

A long pause. “What?”

Jim walked to the edge of the plank that led to a group of sailboats. “I’m not moving in with Spock, Bones.”

“What? Why? I don’t get it.”

He crouched down and stuck his hand in the cold water. “I do.”

“But I thought—”

“Spock…Spock broke up with me.”

Another long pause and then Bones was swearing. “When? Today? I didn’t think you’d seen him. Jim—”

“I don’t know, in the middle of the night.”

“Middle of the night? You spent the night at the dorm. When did Spock come over?”

“He didn’t. He-he sent me a message.”

“Jim, that doesn’t sound like Spock.”

“Look, he said we weren’t working, Bones. How much clearer is that?”

“Jim. Where are you?”

He shook his head even though Bones couldn’t see.

“Where are you? I’ll come and get you.”

“I don’t need that. I’m fine, Bones.”

“Jim—”

Jim closed his communicator and turned it off, returning it to his pocket.

He needed a drink. Several.

He wanted to be shit-faced, is what he wanted. And then maybe he could pretend his heart hadn’t been broken into smithereens.

“Love sucks.”

Jim turned away from the docks and went up the street, looking for the nearest bar.

Maybe there’d be someone to fuck too.

 

 

Message… 1

Captain_kirk_2

Jim had read the message ten times. The content never changed. His vision blurred with the tears stinging his eyes. He closed his eyes as tears squeezed out. The lump in his throat nearly choked him. He tossed the PADD away.

Okay so it was what it was. What the hell was he going to do about it anyway? Kill himself? Get stinking drunk? Go get himself laid? All of the above?

Well, so what. He didn’t need anyone. No one.

His communicator beeped. He picked it up and looked. “Bones?”

“You have class in ten minutes. You told me to remind you.” Pause. “Jim, are you okay?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Class. Thanks. Thanks, Bones.”

“Jim—”

“Gotta run.” He turned off his communicator. Stared at his PADD which lay on the floor by the kitchen.

I do not believe this is working.  

“Fuck you anyway.”

He grabbed his bag and left the dorm, leaving the PADD behind.

100 Words Continuation, June 01, 2018

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Jim sighed as he flexed his fingers in the warming gloves. His lips quirked up very slightly, which was a welcome sign.

“How was your dinner?”

“It was agreeable,” Spock replied. “But not agreeable enough to distress you. I was not thinking.”

“I’m all right.”

“Indeed,” Spock agreed, for it was easier for them both if he said so. “Cream of wheat tonight?”

“I’d rather have a donut.”

“After you finish the cereal.” Spock made to begin the preparations. It occurred to him that sometimes Jim was like a little child. He was reminded of the child they’d raised together.

100 Words, Continuation, May 29, 2018

 

That didn’t seem to make any difference to Jim because he looked sadder still.

“You should be able to go out with your friends, Spock,” he said somewhat snappishly.

“Come, sit at the table and I will make us tea,” Spock said in an effort to distract him.

Jim allowed Spock to lead him to their table and gently push him down into a chair. He grasped Jim’s hands in his.

“Your hands are cold. I will get the warmers.”

Spock went over to the kitchen drawer and removed the handwarmers. He quickly heated them in the microwave and brought them to Jim, helping to pull them over Jim’s somewhat gnarled hands. The heat would prevent them from becoming too painful.

100 Words Continuation, May 25, 2018

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“Why am I on the floor?”

Spock shook his head. “Let me help you up.” He stood and reached down to pull Jim up and into his arms. “That is much better, is it not?”

Jim sighed and leaned against him. “Yes. Much. Spock.”

“Yes?”

“It-it happened again, didn’t it?”

Spock swallowed heavily. “To what do you refer?”

“You know. I-I lost it again.”

Jim’s voice was soft and filled with pain. It made Spock ache.

“It is my fault, darling. My meetings took longer than I realized. And I allowed them to talk me into dining with them.”

The Sight, Chapter Three

“Papa, live with you.”

Jim had just thrown a big purple plastic lightweight ball toward David who gleefully batted at it until it tumbled to the ground. He smiled and walked over to his son, crouching down.

“Papa would love that,” Jim said carefully. “You like living with Mama.”

“Yeah”

“So Mama would feel sad if you lived with Papa.”

David puckered his lips. “Live together.”

“Your Mama and me we care about each other so much, but we don’t live together.”

“Why not?”

Jim took David’s hand in his. “Papa is on a ship, like the one I gave you. But you know, as much as we care about each other, we both care even more about you. You’re the most important one to both of us.”

David stared at Jim, his lower lip sticking out.

“I need you to watch your Mama for me and keep her safe, okay?” Jim wasn’t even sure his son understood what he was saying.

“Okay,” David agreed, looking very solemn.

Jim decided it was time to lighten the mood. “Let’s go in and have ice cream with your grandma.”

“Yeah!”

David turned excitedly to run into the house. Jim went to stand, but was suddenly hit by a powerful wave of dizziness. His eyes blurred.

Then suddenly Spock appeared before him, leaning over someone in a biobed. Spock looked unexpectedly distraught. He turned to face someone and then the scene changed. Uhura was standing in front of Spock, angry. She raised her hand and struck Spock across the face.

“Papa! Papa!”

Jim was being shook and then he looked down into David’s pale face. His eyes were very huge.

He smiled. Or tried to. “It’s all right, David. Papa is here.”

He stood now and took David’s hand as they walked into the farmhouse together. David released Jim’s hand and ran to Jim’s mom.

“Ice cream! Ice cream!”

Jim exchanged a look with Winona, who frowned, then grinned at the boy. “Chocolate or Strawberry?”

“Both!” David cried gleefully.

“Oh, you really are Jim’s son. Okay, some of each.”

Jim wearily sat in the nearest chair. Often visions exhausted him. This one definitely had. But he had no idea what it meant. It had looked like the medbay on the Enterprise.

“Want some coffee, Jim?” his mom asked.

“Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great. Thanks.”

She poured him the coffee and brought it to him before even dishing out ice cream for David. She looked at Jim. His mom knew about the visions. Had even witnessed him having one before. She’d once told him that there were rumors, according to Jim’s dad, that quite a while back one of gran’s family had met and mated with a seer from the planet, Nestron, a mysterious planet that even now the Federation didn’t know all there was to know. Nestron had been destroyed many years ago also mysterious and all that was left was a lifeless hull of a rock.

“Did you see something?” she asked softly.

“Maybe, yes, I don’t know. It was fleeting. I don’t even know what it meant.”

“Grandma, ice cream,” David yelled from by the freezer.

She stared at Jim a moment longer. “Coming.” She turned back to David with a smile.

****

That night his sleep was disturbed by dreams, nightmares really. He didn’t really remember any of them except the last one he’d had.

It woke him up around three am and there was absolutely no way he could get back to sleep. In the dream, Rigel Three was attacked by Klingons and Carol was an immediate casualty. David was left alone, crying.

Then he woke.

Beside him in his bed, David slept on, but Jim’s heart was racing.

Had it been a vision or merely a dream brought about by a little anxiety with David being taken to Rigel Three by Carol?

Jim found his PADD and sent a message to Carol. But of course she ignored him, as he knew she would. She had laughed later when they’d talked in person, as she came to collect David from him. She had no reason to believe he had visions, so he didn’t real blame her. He could not hold her back from leaving.

He kept it to himself then. After he had hugged his son goodbye and Carol, too. He’d hugged her tight, unable to shake the feeling he would never see her again. And he could do nothing about it. He’d tried.

When he got to Yorktown for the final week’s preparations, he was relieved to see Spock. Finally.

“Mister Spock,” Jim greeted Spock with a smile as he got off the shuttle and saw Spock waiting for him. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Captain, I was alerted to your impending arrival.”

“Well, good. How long have you been on Yorktown?” Spock fell in step beside him as they made their way out of ship docking area and over to the lift that would take them up to the streets of Yorktown.

“I arrived last evening,” Spock replied.

“Uhura too?”

“Nyota will arrive tomorrow. She left New Vulcan early in order to see her family on Earth.”

“Ah, good. Glad she got the chance.”

They got on the lift and rode up in silence. Jim stepped out first when it stopped.

“Did you enjoy your leave, Captain?”

“Yeah, I did. Spent most of it with my mom in Riverside. Got to spend a week or so with my son. Yeah, it was good.”

“I am gratified to hear it. David is well?”

“He is, yes. He’s going with Carol to Rigel Three soon for a temporary assignment she has there,” he said, neutrally. What he’d seen in his dream was still very much on his mind, but Spock would be completely dismissive. “You and, um, Uhura, did you—?”

“Captain?”

“You know, get married, or um, what is it…?”

“Bond,” Spock supplied.

He knew that, of course. He knew that well. But he was distracted by Carol and by the whole idea of Spock and Uhura living happily ever after together.

“Right.”

“We did not,” Spock said. “We are not at that level in our relationship yet.”

Jim frowned. They’d been ‘dating’ for years. When did it get to that level? But the truth was, as weird as Jim thought Spock’s response was, he was also incredibly glad. More glad actually than he ought to feel because he had absolutely no right to feel anything.

“Oh. Okay,” he said instead.

And they made their way to the first of Jim’s many meetings he’d have to have. He got busy with planning and even some negotiations, but he still thought of Carol and David somewhere in the back of his mind.

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