In case we forget we live in Earthquake territory, we had a 5.3 today off the coast of Channel Islands, which is in my county.
I happened to be home as I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon and the shaking knocked over a tv tray table and Crazy went…well crazy! LOL
You’ve seen those cartoons where the back end goes faster than the front? That was Crazy the cat in today’s excitement!
Before anyone asks (not that they would), yes, I deleted my Tumblr account today.
Let’s just say I am not in any sort of head space to deal with AOS bashing and leave it at that.
It’s too bad because I enjoyed many experiences on there but there were a lot of things I absolutely did NOT enjoy and that was Numero Uno.
He wanted Spock to be happy above all else and if helping Vulcans to reestablish the species was the way to make Spock happy then it was wrong of Jim to do anything to prevent that.
It was up to him as both Spock’s friend and commanding officer to ensure that Spock’s needs in that regard took priority over Jim’s own personal needs.
He erased what he typed out and re-typed out,
We need to talk. My quarters at your convenience.
This time he did hit send.
And now the only thing he could do was to wait.
Part of him thought he should not hit send. He said what he said and it was true, whether his feelings were unwelcome to Spock or not.
On the other hand, if Spock thought his declaration was something they could not get past, he might ask for a transfer, or worse, go through with his idea to leave Starfleet and go to New Vulcan.
Ambassador Spock’s death had been hard on Spock in a time he’d already felt torn and under the stress of contributing directly to the Vulcan cause.
But was Jim being selfish in keeping him here?
“Better that than to lose Spock altogether, Bones. Look I appreciate you coming but I need to deal with this on my own and preferably alone, okay?”
Bones didn’t look at all happy about it, but he gave a sharp nod and headed for the exit. “If you need anything—”
Jim attempted a smile. “Yeah. I know. Thanks.”
After Bones left, Jim went to his terminal and decided to send his message through that instead of his PADD. He stared at it for a long time before finally typing a brief message.
I’m sorry. Never mind. Forget it.
“Still—”
“I can’t face him. And maybe that makes me a coward, I guess it does. But right now I’m too emotionally invested in all this,” Jim admitted. “So I’m going to message him.”
“Message him what?”
Jim ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know. That I’m sorry. Maybe that it was a bad joke that didn’t come off well. And that he should forget it and we can just go on as we have been.”
Bones blew out a breath. “And how is that, Jim? Barely even friends? Things are more distant than ever.”
“Salvage what? You didn’t do anything wrong. Having feelings for someone is not against Starfleet regulations no matter what that robot might say.”
“Bones, come on, that’s not fair. He was in a relationship with Uhura for years so he knows it’s not against regulations. He just doesn’t feel the same way I do. And well.” Jim sighed and leaned his head back against his sofa. “I have to accept that. And hope he doesn’t ask for a transfer or something.”
“Think he will?”
“I don’t know. He almost left to New Vulcan already. Maybe he will this time.”
I’ve found a solution to my financial situation so that’s good. It’s a hard lesson learned but done nevertheless and no one needs to worry you’ll see a Go Fund Me page. Nope. Never.
My first update this week promises to be the next chapter of When I Loved You. because that is where I felt I needed to go. After that, well, we will see. I’ve already written and scheduled my next 100 words to be up Friday.
I think this may be my last ramblings for a while. I might switch to rambling only once a month. I will still be updating my 100 words and posting videos, stories, etc as the whim hits me.
But for now, I’m taking a rambling break. Probably see you again to ramble in April.
