Jim hadn’t been to Orion in decades. Once in his first year at the Academy he and Bones had accompanied Gary Mitchell there and they’d had, well, an interesting time. But that was back in his somewhat carefree party days, which he’d long left behind.

He sat next to his mother as they made the shuttle trip there. He didn’t have any idea what to expect. His mother hadn’t expected involvement with the Orion father’s family, but Jim knew families were complicated and you never knew when one would come out of the woodwork and declare possession.

He hoped for his mother’s sake it would be as simple as she hoped to collect his cousin’s kids.

Not that he was looking forward to kids running around the farmhouse. Once he had established that his mother had control of things, he’d be headed back to his new life in San Francisco.

“Wasn’t she married to Spock?” his mother asked out of the blue.

Jim couldn’t pretend not to know who she meant, though the question was unwelcome.

“Yeah. They’re divorced now she says.”

“Mm. Do you…well do you have any regrets?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I just know that love isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.”

She smiled faintly. “No?”

He shrugged. “I loved Spock. More than anyone I’ve ever known. Still do. And we tried. Or I think we did. I’m the one who ended it. But I think he would have eventually realized we weren’t going to work, too.”

“And yet he didn’t make it work with Nyota Uhura either.”

Jim sighed. “I probably pushed that. Them getting back together. I wanted…if I couldn’t make Spock happy then she should.”

“But she didn’t,” his mother said gently.

“No.”

“I sometimes wonder if that mission would have been better for you if you had still been with Spock.”

“Maybe. Or worse. In the end that’s what caused the break. My inability to let him completely in. I can’t. So, do I have regrets? I guess so. Maybe that I even tried. It made me want things I just can’t have.”

“Jim…”

He shook his head, reached over and squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, Mom. I’ve made peace with it. And I honestly wish they’d been able to stay together. But couples break up, I know that.”

“You and Carol.”

“Exactly. And now somewhere out there is a son I’m never going to know.” He sighed again. “So yeah. Maybe I should have avoided romance altogether.”

“You’re definitely cynical.” She squeezed his hand back. “Maybe you should check on Spock.”

“I could, sure. Maybe.” The pilot announced their impending arrival. “All right. It’s time to roll.”’