Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

This one ended up being a whole thing and took some weird twists and became rather angsty. It may end up being a larger fic come December at Christmas proper. We will see. I am thinking there’s more to tell here that I can’t get into dealing with just yet. But then again, maybe I should just leave it alone!

“Boy, it’s really coming down out there.”

Jim nodded absently at his friend’s words. They were said with a false, forced cheer that he mostly appreciated.

He scooped another spoonful of eggnog ice cream, not bothering to glance toward the window of his hospital room where Bones stood. He could hear the pouring rain from his bed, anyway.

Next to his bed, on the end table was an arrangement of red, white, and green carnations with a glittery reindeer stick stuck in the vase with them. The card attached read ‘Get Well Soon and Merry Christmas, the Sulus.’

Bones turned back to him. “Let me see your chart again.”

Jim was in Starfleet Hospital in San Francisco. Bones wasn’t his treating physician, just his friend. But Bones was Bones and a nosey doctor he would remain.

Bones tsked. “Heart failure two days before Christmas.”

“Um hum. Drained a bunch of fluid off. It’s hereditary on Mom’s side.”

“Thought Khan’s blood would prevent that.”

Jim smiled faintly. “That was a long time ago, Bones. I’m aging at a normal Human pace. I don’t think he made me Superhuman or anything.”

“What use was he then?” Bones grumbled. 

“There was no use for him. You know what. Anyway, I should get out of here before New Year’s. Gotta take pills, get regular checkups, blah blah blah.”

“Well, Admiral, you do have desk duty. So at least I don’t have to worry about you getting shot or something.”

“Small favors anyway. I feel fine, Bones. A little tired is all. And bummed I’m stuck in this hellhole over Christmas.”

“Your mom coming by later?”

“Yep. With a pre-approved mini tree for my room. She had to get my doctor’s approval, but he did.”

“What about David? Carol bringing him by?”

“Not until the day after Christmas,” Jim admitted. “I told her that they should spend Christmas in England with her husband and Carol’s mother.”

“Can’t believe he’s almost a teenager already. Hell, worse I can’t believe I’m a grampa.”

Jim smiled. “It suits you.”

Bones rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair. He brought the eggnog ice cream, also approved by Jim’s cariologist, and a white stuffed polar bear wearing a Santa hat.

He cleared his throat, so Jim knew what was to come, though he had hoped it wasn’t.

“Think he’ll show up?”

Spock, of course. Spock who had ended things with Jim six months earlier and left for New Vulcan to finally pursue Kolinahr.

They’d had a fight to end all fights. Jim wished he could say he didn’t remember what caused it, but he did. It didn’t really matter now. They were kaput. And Spock likely was knee deep in kneeling before some snooty priestess.

“No. What reason would he have?”

Bones stared at him wide-eyed. “You just had heart failure and almost died!”

Jim shook his head. “I wasn’t that in danger of dying. And I doubt anyone told him.”

“The mind thing?”

“Been dormant for months. It’s okay, Bones. We’re finished. Spock made that clear and I accepted it.” He shrugged. “I think when he’s finished with the Kolinahr, he’ll have the bond removed anyway.”

“That what he said?”

“He hasn’t said anything to me since he left, Bones. I’m just guessing is all. Fine by me. I don’t need it.”

“I should give him a piece of my mind.”

Jim chuckled and pushed away the ice cream bowl. “You need all your pieces. Let it go.”

Bones sighed. “Okay. Listen, I gotta leave for a bit, but I’ll be back later with a turkey dinner for us and probably your mom too. I’ll contact her first.”

“Bones, you don’t have to stay. It’s Christmas Eve. I know you have family.”

“You listen here, Jim, you are my family. I’ll be back.”

Jim teared up and smiled. “Okay, Bones. And you’re my family too.”

The nurse came in after Bones left to remove the ice cream bowl and offer him some tea and pills, but eventually, mercifully, Jim was left alone.

He must have dozed off some because when he woke up someone was sitting in the chair by his bed.

Jim stared. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Spock said sternly, “Not funny.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Where else would I be? My mate is in the hospital after suffering heart failure.”

“I’m not your mate anymore, Spock,” Jim reminded him.

“Our bond still exists.”

“I kind of think that’s your problem. And I’m sure you can end it.”

Spock stood and approached the bed. “I am not here to agitate you, Jim. I have come to apologize and express my deep regret for my part in our separation.”

“Aren’t regrets illogical?” Jim sighed wearily. “I don’t…you said it was over.”

“I was wrong.”

“You wanted to purge me.”

“Negative. Never you. I was…confused. I wished to purge my emotions but I was unable to do so. My love for you was too strong.”

“Spock—”

“I ask nothing from you except that I am allowed to remain by your side to watch over you.”

Jim snorted. “That seems like a lot to ask.”

Spock lowered his gaze. “I mean I know I am not worthy of a return to intimacies we once shared but—”

“I’m not really cleared for that kind of thing right now.”  

Spock nodded. “But I would like to be your friend and companion for however long you will allow it.”

“This is a lot to deal with right now,” Jim admitted. “And it’s Christmas Eve. Mom is coming and Bones too. I just…you broke my heart, Spock.” He waved away Spock’s wide-eyed look. “No. You aren’t responsible for this heart condition, you know that’s not what I mean. It’s just going to be hard to get past that for a while. If I ever can.”

“Can I stay while you are in the hospital through the holidays?”

“You aren’t making it easy to send you away,” Jim said, softly. “You know I still love you. That’s never changed.”

“It has not changed for me either.”

Suddenly there was a commotion outside Jim’s room and in popped his mom wheeling in a decorated Christmas Tree on a cart and next to it was a Santa sized sack filled with brightly wrapped Christmas packages.

Her mouth formed into a “O” she stared at Spock.

“Uh. Hi Mom. Spock’s here.”

“I-I see.”

Jim glanced at Spock who stared back at him with pleading eyes. “And for now, he’s staying.”