Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings



Blue Christmas

Advent Day 21

Jim was just putting the finishing touches on his present for Mommy when his brother came slamming into the house.

Sam was dressed in a heavy coat and scarf with a knit hat on his head. There was a light dusting of snow on him too.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked.

“Working on my Christmas present for Mommy. It’s a necklace with my hand print.”

His brother stood there silently for a moment or two and then he shook his head. “She’s not coming home for Christmas, Jimmy.”

“Sure, she is,” Jim said, matter-of-factly. He stuck out his tongue in concentration as he put glue on the bale of the necklace.

“No.” Sam paused. “She isn’t.”

Jim looked up at his brother. He had a flicker of a doubt but he quickly dismissed it. “She said she was. She promised.”

“Well she’s breaking that promise. You might as well learn now that adults break their promises all the time.”

“Not Mommy.”

Sam sighed. “She sent a message earlier today. She can’t make it off that rock she’s working on in time to make it. I’m sorry, Jimmy. But she won’t be home from Christmas.”

Jim stared down at the necklace he clutched in his hands. He felt the tremble in his bottom lip even as Sam turned away and stomped upstairs in his snow boots.

A minute later, Jim stood up from the table, scooped up all the stuff he had for the necklace and threw it in the trash.


Jim smiled faintly as he looked up at the tall blue Christmas tree with white lights. It was in the so-called city square on Yorktown. Jim was dressed casually, having ditched his uniform a short while ago. It was the “evening” on Yorktown complete with atmospheric coolness piped in for the time of year.

“You seem sad.”

Jim glanced at Spock, who had just appeared beside him. “I was thinking of blue Christmas.”

“The tree?”

“The song actually. But yeah the tree reminded me of it.”

Spock tilted his head. “And why is it a blue Christmas?”

“Not today really. It’s just…when I was a kid, pretty young, I was expecting Mom to come home, only she couldn’t make it, her work wouldn’t let her get away. I was absolutely beside myself over it. Threw away the present I was making for her and cried for hours.” He shook his head. “I didn’t understand adult obligations then. I just knew she had disappointed me again. After that, for the longest time, I wanted nothing to do with holidays. It just meant disappointment to me and so I stopped even thinking about them let alone celebrating them.”

“Understandable,” Spock spoke quietly. “And now?”

Jim turned to face Spock and smiled, holding out his two fingers as Spock had taught him. Spock met them and, as usual, Jim felt the slightest of zings.

“Now, I couldn’t be happier, and I say, welcome Christmas. But when we get back to the room? I need to video conference Peter. It’s not nearly enough. But I’m close enough to his location to reach him. Mom wasn’t and it was something I really resented for a long time. I should have cut her some slack.”

“You were just a disappointed child,” Spock pointed out, falling into step next to him.

“I know. But I don’t want Peter experiencing any Blue Christmases.” Jim reached for and received Spock’s hand, as they walked back to their room surrounded by twinkling lights.   

It’s a Marshmallow World

Advent Day 17

 Jim stopped before the sign that read on the door Cookie Competition. He smiled and glanced at the message  he’d received. Yep, this was definitely the place.

He pushed the door open and entered the building. He could see his mom’s station toward the back, so he headed there.

“How’s it going, Mom?”

She clapped. “Jim! You made it. You tell me, how do they look?”

He surveyed her marshmallow cookie creations. She’d made some into the shape of igloos and then made penguins and polar bears. They were adorable.

“Fantastic. They look great. Who’s your biggest competition?”

“See that lady at the end there with the scarf and the Vulcan hovering beside her?”

Jim looked and his heart stilled. Oh yeah, he was well familiar with that Vulcan.  


“Uh. Yeah. I’m sure yours are better. What’s she making?”

“Spice cookies but she has it all beautifully decorated with poinsettias and cardinals.”

Jim bit his lip. “I’ll go swing by.”

“Okay, but be inconspicuous!” she called after him.

“Fat chance,” he muttered.

He saddled up to their display and checked it out while the pair were speaking to someone else.

Jim had to admit the lady’s work was very elegant and pretty compared to his mom’s cutesy stuff. A moment later, the Vulcan moved to stand beside him, hands linked behind his back.

“You, uh, were gone when I woke,” Jim said out of the side of his mouth.

“I had to teach an early morning class. It was no reflection on you and our…activities.”

Jim’s lips twitched. “That’s good to know as I’d like to have more of those activities.”

“As would I.”

“Your mother?”

“Indeed. And yours?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. She’s here for Christmas and decided to enter this competition.”

“My mother and father are currently here also.”

“Maybe we should have a get together,” Jim said, turning to Spock. ”Your mom does beautiful work.” He paused. “Just like her son.”

Spock arched a brow. “I will see you after the competition.”

“Maybe my mom will win the cutest and your mom the prettiest.”

“Perhaps. Dinner, Cadet?”

“Of course, Professor.”

Jim returned to his mom’s display.

She eyed him. “You were getting pretty cozy there.”

“Well, uh, turns out I’m seeing her son, that Vulcan.”

“Jim! You didn’t tell em you were seeing someone.”


“Well.” She crossed her arms. “I guess it’s okay if she beats me. Sorta.”

He laughed and kissed her. “Either way, you’re the best in my eyes.”

She hugged him. “And you for me. I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend.”

“Now, I didn’t say he was my boyfriend,” Jim protested.

“Would you like him to be?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I would.”

“Then I am sure he will be. It’ll be my Christmas wish.”

He laughed. “If only you really were Santa Claus.”

“Who says I’m not?” She winked. “Now, shh, here come the judges.”

Merry Christmas, Darling

Advent Day 16

It was stupid, Jim guessed, to be spending the evening of Christmas Eve wishing Spock was there with him.

Spock didn’t celebrate anything, never had, and Spock’s Human family had been Jewish.

Hell, even Jim and his family hadn’t been religious in any way. Back when Jim was a boy living at the farmhouse with his dad and Sam, they’d done Christmases. Well and before that, before Jim’s mom had left because she wanted more from life than being George Kirk’s wife and Sam and Jim’s Mom. Mom had been there for a few too. The live tree, the boughs of greenery and holly berries. He’d loved it, though Sam acted like it was lame. Once Jim went to stay with his mother on Tarsus IV, well there were no Christmases there and when he returned there was Starfleet and starships and Jim let his old Christmas memories go.

But then he’d retired from Starfleet, hell, for the fourth time, Jim figured, he’d go back to it. Living part of the time in San Francisco, Spock preferred it there, and part time in Riverside, where Jim preferred it, he’d had a number of Christmases with trees and wreaths and big meals of way too much food and little token gifts Spock always deemed illogical. Jim told him dozens of times that was the point.

Last Christmas had been in San Francisco and Spock had been with him. This year, though, Spock was away on Vulcan dealing with some crisis involving Sarek, nothing Jim had to be involved in, Spock assured him, and he was alone at the farmhouse instead.

He’d debated even bothering with the usual Christmas trappings. But in the end he’d gotten a tree, strung lights and put up the decorations.

Now it was Christmas Eve and he was standing before the tree by himself. He’d put on a fire and there was a casserole baking in the oven.

“Merry Christmas, Darling.”

Jim smiled faintly. There was an old song that came to mind from hundreds of years before.

“I wish I were with you.”

He should have gone to Vulcan with Spock. They didn’t do something as illogical as Christmas, of course, but he’d be with Spock.

With a sigh, Jim turned from the tree to go into the kitchen to check on his casserole. He opened the oven and bent down to take out the casserole and then remembered he had no potholders.

“Dummy,” he mumbled as he reached for the potholders. “Trying to burn yourself.”

“That would be unfortunate.”

Jim dropped the potholders and stumbled back from the oven.

“Spock?” He rubbed his eyes.

“Your eyes do not deceive you,” his husband said from the edge of the kitchen. He wore a robe similar to the one he’d worn on Earth when they went back for the whales.

Jim rushed at him and embraced him, crushing Spock to him. “It’s a Christmas miracle.”

“Hardly,” Spock said dryly. “There was nothing miraculous about it. I came on a passenger ship and then a shuttle here.”

Jim laughed and kissed him. “It’s my miracle anyway. I wished for you. How is it you’re here?”

Spock raised a brow. “As you said, you wished for me.”

“Right. But really…”

“I know how much you love this time of year and especially here. So I made the effort. I will be returning to my duties on Vulcan in a few days.”

“Perhaps I’ll come with you.”

“Perhaps you will.”

Jim took his hand. “Come, darling. Merry Christmas.”

The Holly and the Ivy

Advent Day 2

“The holly and the ivy, when they are both full grown, of all the trees that are in the wood, the holly bears the crown,” Jim sang enthusiastically as he pinned a branch of ivy with holly berries on his apartment door.

“O, the rising of the sun, and the running of the deer, the playing of the merry organ, sweet singing in the choir, the holly bears a blossom as white as lily flower, and Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ, to be our dear savior.”

The door to the apartment next to his abruptly opened causing Jim to jump. He adjusted the giant Christmas wreath he currently wore around his neck. He’d been about to add it to his door as well.

“Do you know what time it is?” the Vulcan who lived next door to him demanded.

“Uh. No?”

“It is midnight. Five minutes past.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded, giving him a sheepish grin. “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“I was meditating. That is until you started singing loudly from the hall.”

Jim’s smile broadened. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away. I picked up all this greenery while I was out and didn’t want to wait to put them up.”

“There may be others trying to sleep on this floor of the building,” the Vulcan pointed out.

“Yeah.” Jim licked his lips and turned back to the door to hang the wreath. He removed it from around his neck and fastened it to the tiny nail he’d placed there. He turned back toward the Vulcan, wiped his hands on the front of his jeans and held out his hand. “Jim Kirk.”

For a moment, the Vulcan stared at Jim’s hand, giving him a chance to realize Vulcans probably didn’t shake hands or anything and he started to draw his hand back when the Vulcan took his hand at last.


“Spock,” Jim said, softly. Spock hadn’t yet released his hand and Jim wasn’t sure how he felt about that. There was something that felt right about their hands clasped like this and Jim couldn’t have said what. “Well, uh, I should probably go inside and stop bothering you.”

Spock said nothing, but he did look down at their still held hands.

Jim took a chance. “Unless you’d like to come in for, uh, some peppermint mochas?”

“Does that include chocolate?”

“Uh, yeah. Is that a problem?”

Spock glanced toward his own apartment door and then back at Jim. “It…does not. Let me just get my sweater and I will be over.”

Jim smiled. “Great. I’ll start the mochas.”

And Spock released Jim’s hand. Jim almost grabbed it back, but managed to control himself. As he went into his apartment he continued humming his Christmas song.

Merry Christmas

Photo by Pixabay on

Mom isn’t doing great right now and is sick so not sure what that means for us in the next few days but that’s what we’re dealing with along with the holidays, so I wouldn’t expect to see me around for the next few days. I’ll post again probably Wednesday.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas and I hope you have a fun and healthy time ahead of you. My wish is that everyone be well and happy

Home, Flash Fic, November 30, 2018

close up of christmas decoration hanging on tree
Photo by Gary Spears on

It was silly to care, I knew that.

Spock didn’t. It was just another day to him. Probably always had been. And he only indulged his illogical mate over the years.

I got it. I did.

But still, I stood looking out the window of our house on New Vulcan. For what? I didn’t know. Normally, we might have been in Riverside this time of year, but because of Spock’s ambassadorial duties, this year we were on New Vulcan.

Except that Spock had been called away and here I was alone.

Waiting for my husband to come home.

How pathetic.

I turned away from the window with a sigh and looked out over our house. I’d put up a small tree. Even decorated it. By myself. I felt more than a little foolish to have bothered.

“Computer stop Christmas music playlist.”

The strains of holiday music abruptly ceased. I eyed my gingerbread flavored tea dispassionately and picked up the cup and poured it out into the sink.

“Time to grow up, Jim,” I told myself out loud.

I was never going to be able to recreate happy holiday times that just never existed.

The first year Spock and I had been a couple, I had mentioned Christmas.

His face had gone quite blank.

“Didn’t you ever, I don’t know, celebrate some kind of holiday with Uhura?” And it had been hard to even say that, because I was still a little sensitive about the whole Spock and Uhura were a couple for so long crap.

“Nyota respected my Vulcan cultural differences.”

I had shrunk back then from the embrace we’d been in, feeling as though I had been slapped. I turned away, desperate to hide the hurt I was certain showed.

“Jim, that is not what I meant. That came out wrong,” Spock insisted.

“Sure. I have to get back to the bridge.”


And it had been better later. We’d had a small celebration, which I had been expanding on or at least trying to maintain ever since.

Now, back in the present, I sighed with regret and figured I might as well just take everything down and put it away. For good this time. It seemed ridiculous now that I’d brought everything with me to New Vulcan.

A week ago when Sarek had stopped by to see if I needed anything while Spock was away, I’d seen the barest hint of disapproval in his eyes at my Christmas decorations. He hid it well, but I’d seen it.

Sometimes I felt as though I had been the one doing all the compromising. I knew that wasn’t fair, I did. But I was sad and lonely and depressed at that moment and all I could see was everything negative.

I grabbed a plastic box and took it over to the tree to begin to remove the ornaments. The first one I removed was a tiny little replica of Vulcan Prime. I’d found it in a little Alpine Christmas shop on Earth in Germany. I’d been kind of thrilled at the time at my find but of course when I’d shown my purchase to Spock he’d made some dismissive comment about how a tiny little ornament could never really represent his planet.

I should have thrown it away then, I thought, as I took it down and put it in the box.

Nyota respected my Vulcan cultural differences.

“Yeah, well fuck you,” I said out loud. “And her too. I’m not fucking Nyota.”

“For which I am grateful.”

I dropped the ornament I held, a squirrel holding an acorn, and turned in shock to see my husband standing just inside our house, wearing a black cloak and a turtle neck sweater in a blue that matched my eyes. I know, he’d told me he’d picked it out for that very reason.


He inclined his head. “What are you doing, ashayam?”

“Uh.” I set the box down and hurried over to him. “Never mind that. You’re home!” I threw my arms around him and he pulled me close, nosing into my hair by my ear. A thrill shot through me. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until next month.”

“I was able to finish earlier than anticipated,” Spock said, his arms holding my very close indeed. “I thought my presence would be welcome for your holiday celebration.”

“It is. Very much so.” I pulled back to kiss him full on the lips.

Spock grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the tree. “What are you doing?” he asked again.

I swallowed heavily. “Well. I, um. I was putting it all away.”

Spock looked down into the box and reached down to pull out the replica of Vulcan Prime. His gaze rose to mine. And I couldn’t hold it. I looked away, not wanting him to read me just then.

“Jim,” he said softly. “We can celebrate Christmas every day if that is what you wish.”

I laughed and turned red. “That’s not what I want. It’s not very special if it’s every day.”

His fingers touched my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. “I love you. Beyond all ordinary meaning of such simple words. I would give up all and anything to make you happy.”

My tears pricked and stung my eyes. “I don’t want you to give up who you are or anything else. I just—”

“I know.” Spock drew me close again, still holding the ornament at the same time. “I made it back here today to be with you, as I knew you would want. I know you, ashayam. Better than I know myself at times. I never want you to change. You are my beautiful mate.”

“Spock,” I whispered into his neck.

He reached past me to put the ornament back on the tree. “Come. Let’s have some of that gingerbread tea you love so much.”

I smiled. “Yeah?”

“Indeed. And perhaps we can even replicate cookies.”

“Now you’re talking!” I laughed and pulled him toward the kitchen. And my heart was light. Spock was home.

Ramblings, November 19, 2018

As you know, I have this week off.

Did some cleaning over the weekend to get ready for TG on Thursday. I got Bitter Frost updated despite AO3 refusing to tell anyone. Funny thing was it said on their twitter that emails were delayed but hadn’t disappeared altogether. BS

I have some errands and shopping I want to do today. But I am also working on my Flash Fic for Friday. This week, other than the Flash, I want to finish the Christmas story, so I can call it done, and move on. I know how I want to end it, it just has to get there!

Wednesday I am making a pumpkin dessert for TG. If it turns out okay I will post a picture of it.

When I was young, I used to do all the Black Friday shopping thing. Well, I never got up at 5 or anything,but I would go shopping that day. These days I do most of my shopping online or on different days if I am going to, say Target (my favorite store, ha ha). I doubt that pattern will change this year. I don’t like crowded stores. We went to Costco on Saturday and it was packed with people who wanted to run you over with their damn cart.

Sunday the 25th is decorating day here at my house. One month exactly! I’m excited to have it done. I am Christmas nut, I know.

When I was a kid, long long ago, but not in a galaxy far away, we used to go to mass. Anyway, I loved going to midnight mass. These days half the churches have done away with it and only like one of every five churches have actual midnight mass, around here anyway, but when I was a kid it was a big thing and I loved it. For me, it was such quintessential Christmas. Even as I became a little older my sister and I would go when no one else would anymore. Mass would be standing room only so we’d get there early and I loved the pomp and circumstances of it all. The whole ceremonial thing.

Though I am no longer practicing any religion, I remember that part of it very fondly. There’s a saying I think rather applies to me. You can take the person out of the Catholic but you can’t take the Catholic out of the person. Yep.

Anyway, even now my favorite time is Christmas. I’m like a kid, still. I even have a Christmas playlist on my phone to listen to as soon as Thanksgiving is over.

I know some people in the Star Trek fandom get offended that people write Christmas stories about Kirk and Spock, because Shatner and Nimoy were both Jewish. I’ve even seen people complain about it. But my take is that was the actors, not the characters. Roddenberry was an atheist. Kirk and Spock did not disclose their religion, though Spock, often dismissed the idea of a deity. I don’t write TOS Christmas stories, and Quinto is not Jewish, and Pine is only part, and speaks of how he really doesn’t follow any religion, plus I think he has celebrated Christmas as a child. Anyway, it really doesn’t matter, I don’t get into too much religion, though I do reference Amanda being Jewish. My point is, it’s fiction, a fandom written about characters that don’t even exist, so if I want to write Christmas, then I am going to do so.

I hope everyone here in the US has a wonderful Thanksgiving. And everyone elsewhere, if you are out there, has a great week.


Our Shopping Day

So we went Christmas shopping. I’d already done a bunch but this was to finish it all off, including for a few friends I have at work. And the Significant had stuff to do too.

First we hit Walmart and it was sort of earlyish so it wasn’t so bad. There were lots of people there and I admit some of them made me want me to go…


Next we went to Bevmo, which was nearby and a bit better of an experience. I had Jack Daniels to buy for my friend at work and some little miniature bottles for a friend’s basket I am making. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Moscow Mules but SO is giving this friend a set of copper Moscow Mules cups so that’s why I was getting little vodkas. We coordinate nicely, after all.

Then we moved on to the mall.

faceNow in spite of Jim’s face here, it’s not that bad. It’s an outdoor mall. I am sure they don’t have those where most of you live. Whenever the SO parks, he chooses the farthest away spot you can imagine.

Which admittedly makes me go a little Sylar.


Anyway, we found a spot and headed into a place called Marshall’s. I don’t know that they have these everywhere, but they are sort of a little of everything. I didn’t get anything here but the SO did.

We then headed for lunch at Red Robin. After that we hit a Hallmark store, where the SO bought stuff again, but not me, and then Bath and Body Works. I was buying stuff here for females in my family. Place was a nightmare.

I was tempted to do this.


But it gets worse! LOL.

we leave to finally go to somewhere other than the mall and we can’t find the car. I thought we were further down then we were, because as I said, he parks far. We wandered around this parking lot for like 20 minutes and I was starting to panic thinking someone had stolen it with all the crap we’d just bought in it. Fortunately, that was not the case.

smiling-spock Then we hit Bed, Bath and Beyond which wasn’t so bad at all.


But then…we went to Target


Seriously scary stuff.

Then finally the grocery store. Right. Ugh.


So when we finally got home and put everything away at last


Right so there was our day.

Weekly Ramblings, 12/05/2016 Edition

There’s an interesting phenomenon on AO3 that continues to leave me puzzled. Those that follow me as as an overall writer on there (as opposed to following a specific story) is constantly fluctuating. Saturday I had 660 followers. This morning I have 658. I have absolutely no clue what I did to turn off those two followers. But this happens constantly to me. And I am always left wondering why.

Had a pretty nice weekend of watching mostly Christmas movies on Saturday.

I managed to watch A Christmas Carol with Alistair Sims. This is a 1951 version many quote as their favorite.I like this version but it’s not my favorite, though it’s quite well done. There are a couple of things I don’t care for. One: the Tiny Tim (he’s actually a cute little boy) who is the same size as the actress who plays his mother. There is a scene where they are walking along the backdrop of shops and they are side by side and the little actor boy is the same size as the actress playing his mom, Hermione Baddeley, who was 5″3″. I’m sorry but if you are going to play “Tiny Tim” you are supposed to be a small, frail boy. Not someone who looks like they could run out and play soccer with a healthy glow.

My other issue with this version is that Scrooge’s long lost love is renamed, inexplicably, Alice. The story is quite clear that her name is Belle. Whatever is wrong with that name, actually written by the extremely famous author that you feel the need to change it to Alice, is beyond me.

Otherwise, it’s a fine version and Alistair Sims is definitely a fantastic Scrooge.

I also watched It’s a Wonderful Life, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and the Little Drummer Boy. I did some online shopping for Christmas also.

Sunday I went to see a Christmas show as well as went to a nice dinner.

So all in all a nice weekend.

I have begun the next chapter of My Devotion, though I haven’t got it completed or even know when I will have it done. With Christmas going on, my regular updates will likely be slower.

I am working on a story called I Heard the Bells, which is apparently a hard sell for most of my regular readers (if I have any) because it’s not getting much love. Ah, well. To each their own. Can’t say I am not disappointed though. Should have stuck to my original idea of not writing any more Christmas stories.

I’m crazy busy at the real job right now so not sure when my next update of anything will be but I know for sure it won’t be today.

Have a good week.


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