Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Jim should have known Spock would look for him and since Spock knew him quite well these days, he found Jim pretty quickly.

He was seated on an old faded and peeling wooden bench situated in a long forgotten and overgrown garden across from the back porch of the old farmhouse. There was a bit of shade there from a nearby large tree that had been on the property hundreds of years.  Good thing since it was July and really quite warm.

He’d have to decide what to do with this place now. There was no one else to make that decision at this point.

“Jim.”

Spock sat beside him on the bench, concern barely hidden in his expression.

Jim smiled and patted Spock’s leg. “I’m okay.”

“You are contemplative.”

“Mm. Even when your parent is sick, you’re not really prepared to lose them.”

“True.” Spock studied him for a moment. “Your thoughts are jumbled.”

“You should be used to that by now,” Jim joked.

Spock shook his head slightly. “The overwhelming emotion I feel from you is regret. I was unaware you had regrets regarding your mother.”

“I guess to you regrets are illogical.”

“I used to think so. But after the loss of my mother I admit to experiencing some regrets myself.”

“Of course you did. I don’t mean to dismiss your feelings in that.”

“You did not. And I do not intend to make this about me,” Spock said. “Will you explain what you are thinking and feeling?”

“Just wish I had been there more for Mom in her final years,” Jim admitted.

“As the captain of a starship it would be difficult to be with her as much as you might like.”

“Yeah but…last year, right about this time, I was on Earth. And she wanted me to come see her here in Riverside at the farmhouse to do our Christmas in July thing.”

“Christmas in July?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. See when we were kids, my brother and me, little kids, Mom did this thing in the summer. This was before she got so involved in her job that she wasn’t with us much. Before…”

“Frank,” Spock supplied.

“Yeah. She buried herself in work after my dad, then her parents, and then her sister died. It was a lot of grief for her to handle and so she ended up signing up for a job that took her off planet, but she couldn’t bring me and Sam with her. Frank was her sister’s husband. After her sister got sick and passed, for a while Mom got involved with him, but she never really loved him. But when she went off planet, Frank said he’d watch us. Well, you know about what happened with him. But the summer stuff, the Christmas in July we did, that was before her parents and sister passed away.”

“I understand.”

“The whole idea for it started long ago but Mom adopted it for us. One day in July, we got to pick some part of Christmas to do just for that day. Each one of us got to pick whatever we wanted. Mom always chose to give each of us kids a present. That was her thing. Sam always thought with his stomach so he chose to make cookies and gingerbread.”

“And you?”

“I always wanted to put up a Christmas tree.” Jim grinned. “It used to make Sam crazy because it was so much work. We had an artificial one in the basement so Mom would make Sam bring it up with decorations and lights and we’d put it up and decorate in the morning and then the next day, it would all come down. Sam bitched a fit. But I loved it. I’d spend most of that day in the living room in front of it in my shorts and t-shirt staring at the twinkling lights and shiny decorations. It was my happy place.”

“I am glad you had that time with your mother and brother.”

He smiled wistfully. “Me too. Anyway, when I was on Earth last year, Mom wanted me to come see her and do the Christmas in July thing with her.” He choked up.

Spock reached for and took Jim’s hand. “She knew you loved her, Jim.”

“I know,” he whispered. “But I told her I couldn’t. I had too many other things to do while I was here and wouldn’t be able to make it. She was cool about it but I could tell she was disappointed, you know? I had no idea then that it was my last opportunity.”

“I am sorry, Jim. I know how painful such thoughts are. But I also know that she knew how much she mattered to you and I know she adored you as well.”

“Yeah, I do know all that too.” He squeezed Spock’s hand. “I just can’t help but think about stuff like that. And I know there’s nothing I can do about it. But it sucks.”

“Yes,” Spock acknowledged. “Would you like to go into the house and put up the tree while we are here?”

Jim laughed. “You’d do that?”

“Of course I would, if that is what you would like to do. It can be a memorial itself of your mother and brother and the times you were able to enjoy with them. However far removed it is now.”

Jim leaned over to kiss him. “I would love that. Let’s do it.”

And he tugged Spock up and into the house they went to put up a tree.