
A year ago, Mom died.
On May 16th last year, we had to move her from the bed she’d slept in for over 25 years to a hospital bed in her room because we were unable to get her in and out of her real bed anymore. She was too weak. Up to that point for weeks, we had bathed her, cleaned her, dressed her and put her to bed. Cancer is a bitch, as I am sure most of you unfortunately know.
Still the 16th was a shocking day, though we knew it was coming. She no longer would eat and barely would take a few sips of water. The hospice people started giving her morphine that day and she never really came out of it to full consciousness after that. She was on oxygen. Each day I would go over to my sister’s to see her and I hope she knew I was there.
On May 20th, the nurses told my sister I should probably come. So I did. She didn’t pass that night, but we spent time with her. She never liked to be touched or hugged or comforted that way. She was raised in a rather cold Irish Catholic family and that’s just the way they all were. But she let us that last night. We stroked her hand and told her we loved her.
I went home that night when the night nurse came. I returned the next morning, May 21st. We kept the oxygen on then only so the priest could come for last rites (they call it the anointing of the sick now). When he finally arrived, we went through it with him.
After his departure, they turned off her oxygen, and it really was very quick after that. Not even an hour. I was in the room next to her when she passed. It was both easier than I thought it would be and torture at the same time.
It’s hard to believe we’ve already had a year pass. Today we are bring flowers to where her ashes are buried and then spending the rest of the day celebrating her long life as she made it very close to 95 years.
Anyway, thank you for listening.
May 21, 2022 at 12:39 am
Sending hugs to you. I know full well what you are going through. I lost my Dad to cancer in 2018 and my closest friend to it on February 13th this year. It’s difficult to process how long it’s been since we’ve lost someone. Oftentimes, something will come up or I’ll take a photo and think, I’ll just send this to her… but I can’t. She’s not here anymore.
Time goes by so quickly some days and barely moves other days. Going through the loss of someone close to you is the same. Some days grief just rises up like a geyser.
Those flowers are lovely. Sending love to you and your family.
❤️❤️❤️
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May 21, 2022 at 9:40 pm
I know you do and my heart hurts for you for your friend. I think as we get older we can expect more of this and it sure doesn’t get easier ❤️
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May 21, 2022 at 2:42 am
Hugs and love my friend. I didn’t remember the exact day but I knew it was coming up.
A year seems so long and also like a blink of an eye. Be gentle with yourself today. Grieve as you need to. Remember her for all that she was.
Anniversaries are hard.
So much love to you and yours.
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May 21, 2022 at 9:41 pm
thank you I appreciate it ❤️
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May 21, 2022 at 7:22 am
Everyone is so right on. Mine is 18 years and I remember every minute of it like it was yesterday. Something about such a traumatic experience tags our brains and that spot doesn’t erase.
I’m glad you were close by her and got to have all those memories of her last days to the last seconds. It is different from what you think it will be, huh? You think you know. But you can’t till it’s there.
For us, we have a pastor in the family, and they came and spent most of my dad’s last day with him.
Same experience here with the morphine. I hope it really does help with the pain.
So our hearts are with you on this day of remembrance.
Thank you for sharing with us.
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May 21, 2022 at 9:40 pm
Yeah morphine is some harsh stuff I think, but it is supposed to help
I’m sure I’ll miss her forever just as I do my dad and as you miss yours ❤️
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May 21, 2022 at 3:22 pm
Super big hugs!
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May 21, 2022 at 9:39 pm
thank you ❤️
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