I’m still here.
I have today off from work and am going over to my sister’s later. Try out her new pool and spend time together as a family. I’ll return to work tomorrow.
Ma was Catholic so we are doing a funeral mass for her as well as internment at the cemetery after for her ashes. Years ago when my dad died and was cremated, she bought a plot next to his, so in this way, they will once more be together. Unfortunately, I guess these arrangements take time and with the holiday coming up, the services won’t be until after Memorial Day. We wanted it as soon as possible, for pretty obvious reasons, but that wasn’t going to be granted to us.
I’ll take my three bereavement days I get at work when the service is. Yeah three days to grieve your loved ones doesn’t seem nearly enough does it?
Anyway, some time this week, if I feel like it, I will take a stab at the other chapter that remains on One More Night. No promises, but I am thinking about it.
Thank you all for your condolences.
Here are flowers we received from M’s cousin.

May 24, 2021 at 9:15 am
It’s never easy and I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have some family time today and hope you can find some joy in memories amidst the sorrow.
All the love and hugs.
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May 24, 2021 at 10:46 am
Yeah it sure isn’t. I have come to the conclusion there is no such thing as being prepared. Hugs back! ❤
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May 24, 2021 at 10:14 am
There’s never enough time. To process and handle any of our deeper emotions.
On the other hand, literally the only way to mitigate the pain at all is work and busy-ness to let your mind rest from the grieving. Or at least that’s what I’ve found.
The flowers are gorgeous.
I hope you have had some peaceful enjoyment of family.
I HATE HATE deaths/funerals on holidays, because yeah, we know someone we loved passed on the 7th of some month. But every single holiday with something like that seems to sting more and kind of rob the enjoyment. I guess that’s really selfish of me, but heck, there are 365 1/2 days in every year. We found out my dad was dying on a holiday. My family suffered a loss on Easter – a day of Resurrection.
I wondered how you were doing – thanks for sharing. And I know beyond knowledge that writing IS a way to rest your brain from grieving. No human brain can handle total grief hours upon hours, days upon days. It’s too heavy.
I hope you get to lay some of that weight down and rest.
And as always, we’re here.
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May 24, 2021 at 10:46 am
Yes my dad had the stroke that paralyzed him (and ultimately led to his death months later) at Thanksgiving. M’s mom fell and broke her hip on Christmas Eve. So yes, it’s a hard thing to process and yet, for me, as the years pass, I let go of the sadness at those particular days and return to show and celebration as I believe the lost loved one would have wanted.
I agree being busy often helps. In the case of my mother, prior to this last year which was not a good one for her or us or any of us really, she had a great time. I consider us very fortunate to have had her for as long as we did. She survived colon cancer in her lower eighties and she survived a-fib too. She was a fighter to the last. ❤
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May 24, 2021 at 11:23 am
So true. And the only thing that finally smacked me and made me stop crying every day after my dad passed (after 2 years) was the fact that he would be so very very hurt if he knew his death had caused me so much pain. That snapped me out of it.
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May 24, 2021 at 2:13 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss – it’s hard to pull together the right words at times like these so I’m falling back on the tried and trusted (and not meant tackily)- I grieve with thee.
Take all the time you need, don’t let anything (work or otherwise) dictate how you grieve or what you need during this time. It’s important to focus on yourself and your own self care!
Lots of hugs from all of us
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May 24, 2021 at 8:26 pm
thank you ❤
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May 24, 2021 at 11:02 pm
Grief is a process. It doesn’t follow a schedule, three days, or three weeks, it’s all the same. Everyone processes it differently. Grief doesn’t follow a timetable. Things come up out of the clear blue, and Bam it’s back to day one again. Like it just happened.
Take joy in your family, take joy in nature, take joy in happy memories, and take joy in what sparks it for you. We will be here and we support you.
Love the beautiful flowers! ❤️🌺🌸❤️ Sending you hugs and love. M
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May 26, 2021 at 7:05 am
thank you ❤
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May 25, 2021 at 7:36 pm
I add my condolences along with everybody else’s; whether sudden or expected it’s never easy for those left behind. Not much can be said that hasn’t been already but here’s something that’s always helped me; remember, she’s not just in your past, she’s in your future.
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May 26, 2021 at 7:05 am
thank you for your kindness ❤
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