Spock woke up feeling very good. Newly in a relationship with his captain, in fact so new the night before had been their first experimentation with physical intimacy, he felt more hopeful for the future than he had in a long time.

Until he turned his head to see Jim standing in front of his small artificial Christmas tree with a tear upon his cheek.

Spock sat up quickly. “Jim?”

His captain glanced his way, surprised, almost as though he’d forgotten he’d spent the night in Spock’s arms. But Jim shook head, gave a watery laugh, then wiped at his cheeks and eyes.

“Good Morning.”

“You are crying.” And yes it came out as an accusation.


Spock swung his legs out of Jim’s bed. “I saw you. You even wiped your eyes.”

Jim laughed. “Oh that.”

“Do you…?” Spock stopped, gathering the courage. “Do you regret the consummation of…”

“What? The…no. Are you crazy? Regret that? Never. Ever. Never.” Jim stepped over to him, grabbed his hands and drew him to stand up. Spock was vaguely embarrassed that he wore nothing but Jim’s briefs. And he tried to recall how he came to be wearing Jim’s, but that part was a little fuzzy. Even for him.

Jim kissed him hard and Spock relaxed into the kiss, relieved, though he was still confused.

“Jim, I do not understand.”

“I know you don’t, sweetheart.” He drew Spock over to the tree. “It’s over.”


“Christmas. It’s the day after. I always feel just a…little sad. Ever since I was a kid I looked forward all year to Christmas. To the holidays. It started with Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. The absolute best time of the year. Well, other than the weather. And then on the 26th, it’s gone. And we’re faced with months and months of just…ordinary days, I guess.”

Spock turned Jim to face him, fingers grazing over Jim’s bristly jaw and cheek. “No day in which I can wake up to be with you is ordinary.”

Jim’s smile brightened the room. “God, you’re just…I can’t believe this is real. That you really feel this way.”

“What way?”

“The way I feel about you. I never thought I’d get to have this.” Jim kissed him again.

“No more sadness?”

“No more sadness. After all it all comes around next year again. Let’s go back to bed.”

“We are due on the bridge in less than an hour, ashayam.”

“Damn it. I’m gonna cry again.”


“Oh fine. Let’s go share a shower.”

As Jim began to move away, Spock drew him back for one more kiss. One of many to come.