I have a bit of a lump in my throat as I share this with you. I hope that I did them justice, this Jim and Spock, who I started with so long ago. I am going to cry, honestly. Because they are done. This started me and the fanfiction, folks, The Bond Between Them. And that’s why after I started writing this journey for them, I chose that Jim and Spock.This concludes that whole series. Today I post it here, probably tomorrow it will go on AO3. I am sad. Not because it has ended sadly, but because it has ended.
When Spock woke
early in the morning, Jim was no longer in bed with him. He rose in a panic,
flying up from the bed, wrenching open the door, and heading out into the rest
of the house when he heard murmured voices.
Jim and their son.
“Do you remember,
Dad, when you saved the universe?”
“Which time?” Jim asked.
He sounded amused.
“The time with
V’ger.”
Jim hesitated.
“Not…really.”
Suvoc nodded. “You were an admiral then, and Captain Decker was in command. You were going to do as they asked, and command the Enterprise, but first you spoke to me about going to New Vulcan with Sa-Mekh’s counterpart.”
His mate sighed and
Spock moved to go to him. To rescue him from this frustrating conversation with
their son. But he held himself back for a moment more.
“I don’t. I’m sorry.
I wish I could.”
“It is all right. I
will remember for both of us.” Suvoc grabbed Jim’s hand and squeezed it gently.
Spock was always grateful for how gentle Suvoc was with Jim. Even before Jim’s
illness, Suvoc treated Jim with a tremendous amount of love and respect, and
Spock was very proud of the boy who had become their son. “It was when I asked
you for permission to call you father.”
“And yet, you are
calling me dad.”
“I have never know, truly, what is your preferred title,” Suvoc admitted. “I chose father then, because I wanted so very desperately to be Vulcan, and not show any of my human side.”
“Like Spock.”
“Yes. But over the
years, I have discovered that rather than being either Vulcan or human, I will
simply be what I am…me.”
“Ah. You are wise
beyond your years, kiddo.”
Spock smiled slightly.
It had been years since Jim had called Suvoc that. And he recognized the
pleasured flush in Suvoc’s face that he had noticed and appreciated it as well.
“I wish for you to
know, that though I waited for that moment to ask if I could call you father, I
had long before that thought of you that way, and no matter the outcome of this
day and this meeting with the healers, you are my beloved father, my dad, and
my favorite parent.”
Spock straightened
from where he stood.
Jim laughed. “That’s
what you get for eavesdropping. I told Suvoc a long time ago, it wasn’t a good
thing to eavesdrop.”
“You recall that, do
you?” Spock asked as he gave their son a reproachful look. Suvoc arched a
serene brow. He bent down to kiss Jim’s forehead. “Good morning, T’hy’la.”
“Morning, babe.”
Jim was full of surprises this morning, and Spock felt himself flush similar to Suvoc. He firmly quashed down on the flare of hope that rose. In the early days, Jim had a lot of good moments. Having them now meant nothing, especially as they hadn’t even met yet with the Vulcan healers.
Jim was quite fully human, and Spock was unsure if Vulcan healers could even help him, but Suvoc wanted to try, and Jim was willing, so what protest could Spock even make?
After breakfast, the four of them left the house, himself and Jim, and Suvoc and Ronan. They had decided to walk. It was warm, but not overly so, and the temple where the healers waited for them was not far.
Spock could feel
Jim’s anxiety and he began to worry it came from him and echoed back at Jim,
who shot it back at him. He didn’t want to affect Jim or his feelings about
this matter, but it was so much harder to shield these days than it had once
been.
Jim kept hold of
Spock’s arm as they walked and that was at least some small comfort for both of
them. Jim had always been very touchy feely and the days when that would have
bothered Spock went out with the first time Jim joined their minds. He was not
ashamed that he craved Jim’s touch as much as the reverse.
When they were
inside the foyer of the Healing Temple, Suvoc stopped them.
“Wait here. They are
expecting us but wish to learn what instructions they have for us.”
Ronan faded away
into the shadows, and Spock noticed he was good at that, giving them privacy.
Spock took Jim aside.
“T’hy’la, how do you
feel?”
“A
little…apprehensive.”
“They will not harm
you, no matter the outcome.”
“I know,” Jim said
softly. “It’s just…you have so much invested in this. I would hate for it to
fail.”
“We do, Jim. This is for both of us, yes, but mostly so that you can be yourself again, for whatever years you have left.”
“I don’t want to be
a burden.”
“So you have said
before and as I have said, you are not.”
He leaned into me then. “I know what you plan if this fails. You think I don’t, that you are hiding it. But we’re bonded, Spock. Even if I’m not right in the head, I know.”
“And what of it? We
made promises to each other.”
“Long ago promises.
When I was young and thought I’d live forever.”
“That changes
nothing, T’hy’la. Just as you didn’t want to face endless years with dementia,
I did not want to endure endless years without you. Nothing has changed in that
regard.”
“Spock—”
“I will not have the
lonely, empty existence of my counterpart.”
“He lived some good
years.”
Spock shook his
head. “He existed, Jim. But no, he did not live. I know. You must trust me.”
Jim looked away. “So
if this fails, and I fail more, you’re going to end this. For both of us.”
“Peacefully and
without pain.”
His gaze returned to Spock’s and held it, trapped in a million memories between them.
“They are ready,”
Suvoc said, as he returned.
****
The first healer
that touched Jim’s mind was the son of Stonn, and for a moment, Spock thought
to protest, old biases of his own rearing up, but the healer only looked upon
Jim with kindness and reassurance and the protests died on Spock’s lips. Sons
could be better than their fathers.
“My mind to your
mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”
The healer stayed in
Jim’s mind for more than an hour, but Spock monitored each moment, somewhat
anxiously, by sight and by feel, and there were no signs of distress.
Another healer waited after him, this one a female, as young as Stonn’s son, and her touch to Jim’s face, and to his mind was gentler still.
More time passed and
Spock grew more anxious. When she was done, she lay Jim down on a bed.
“Fear not,” she said
to Spock and Suvoc. “He is well. He needs a period of rest, of sleep.”
“And?”
“We can help him. He
will need several treatments over the course of weeks, so he must stay here for
a time, but already he will see improvement.” She turned to Spock. “Your mate
has a remarkable mind, even now. He is very strong. There will still be times
that he may have momentary forgetfulness, but that is to be expected in the
aging mind. He is human and whether or not we wish it, they do not last as long
as us.”
Spock felt emotion
coming up from his pounding heart and into his throat. He nodded his
understanding.
Suvoc turned to
Spock. “This is good news, Sa-Mekh, yet you look upset.”
“I did not think…I
dared not hope.”
Stonn’s son stepped
forward. “The mixed blood in him.”
“Mixed?”
“He had a
significant transfusion, did he not?”
“Yes.”
The healer nodded. “It
has helped. And it will help us with the treatments. He may yet live longer
than you imagined.”
“But not
with…dementia?”
He inclined his
head. “As my wife has explained, there may be some forgetfulness, as expected
with aging, but yes, the disease that is in his mind, his brain, it is
treatable.”
Spock went to the
bed they had laid Jim down on and knelt beside it. He put his hands to Jim’s
face, to examine his mate’s mind himself. To check for changes, damage from
them, though he expected none, he had to be sure.
Jim opened his eyes, vivid blue looking at Spock. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Spock
returned. “How do you feel, my James?”
“Like living.”
****
Three years later
“There they are,” Jim
exclaimed, clutching Spock’s arm.
And yes, as Jim
said, off the shuttle platform came first Ronan and then Suvoc, holding on to
their almost three year old son. He squirmed in Suvoc’s arms as soon as he spotted
the two of them.
With a shake of his
head, Suvoc set his son down.
“Grandpa!” he
screamed, running to Jim, who with a hearty, joyous laugh leaned down to scoop up
the child.
“Hi, Kiddo.”
Suvoc and Ronan
reached them as Spock walked up to Jim and the boy.
They’d been on New Vulcan for a while, and had now come to San Francisco for a visit. Suvoc had informed Spock they were considering relocating to San Francisco permanently. He had not yet informed his husband, but he knew Jim would be thrilled.
“Now. Let’s see.”
Jim peered at the boy. “What’s your name again?”
The three adults
tensed automatically even though they all knew it was a game between Jim and
the child.
He giggled, which was
an odd thing in a three quarters Vulcan, one quarter Human child. They’d used a
Vulcan surrogate as they’d decided to help with expanding the population. And
to Ronan’s credit, he fully embraced the son that was not his biologically.
“I know! It’s Gordon!”
“Grandpa!”
Jim laughed and tickled
him to the point he was squealing in laughter. Both of them actually. “Okay,
okay. George. Your name is George.”
“Yay!” Tiny arms encircled
Jim’s neck.
Suvoc smiled. And,
for Spock, it was nice to see. He was so much freer than Spock had been at that
age. Or ever would be, Spock supposed. But Suvoc had Jim and Ronan as influences,
and young George did too. Spock was beyond pleased to call them his family.
“I have presents
back at the apartment for you,” Jim told George as he carried him toward the
exit of the shuttle bay, not bothering to wait to see if the other three adults
followed. They would, of course. Jim commanded authority. Always had and always
would.
Spock put his hands
on the shoulder of Suvoc and Ronan. “Come. We’ve been cooking all day.”
Life was not perfect
and never would be, Spock thought, but it was as close as it ever would or
could be.
And from Jim:
Me again. I feel
good these days. Better than I have in years and I know I have the Vulcan
healers to thank. That and my family.
I never would have
imagined when Spock and I…Spock and Me…you know, I still forget grammar
sometimes, anyway, back when the two of us bonded after that shuttle crash,
when I accidentally bonded us, it would ever get to where we are now. Happy,
old, with a child, and a grandchild. Still madly in love.
Well, I don’t know.
Maybe I should have known, should have guessed. Maybe I had such a shitty
childhood, so that one day, I could have this.
Whatever. What I do
know is…the bond between us is stronger than ever. Between me and Spock, of
course, always, and between us and Suvoc, and Ronan, and George.
I miss others. Ambassador
Spock who gave us this. Each other. And Suvoc. Bones. I’ll always miss Bones. Scotty.
Uhura. Most are gone now. But Spock and I, we remain.
I am…gratified.
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 