Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings


Love Confessions

Spirk Day 2020

I know it’s Spirk day and I should write something absolutely epic but I just don’t have it in me to do so right now. I’m pretty drained. I’m sorry.

“Spock’s going to be fine, Jim.”

“Define fine.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “He’s going to recover. He’s asking for you.”

That surprised Jim a bit. Well. Spock got injured saving Jim, again, but…maybe Spock planned to chew Jim out. Sure.

He started toward the medbay area where Spock was being treated. Bones put his hand on Jim’s shoulder.

“Uhura’s in there right now. Give it a few minutes.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded. He was aware that Spock and Uhura had broken up, but he was also aware that they were trying to reconcile. Or Jim thought they were. Probably Spock being injured would push them toward it.

He thought about leaving altogether, but Spock was his friend and first officer, and he got severely injured saving Jim, so he stuck around, having a cup of coffee with Bones.

Eventually, he spotted Uhura leaving. She was wiping at her face, and Jim wasn’t sure what that meant. Probably just upset Spock got hurt saving their captain. Whatever.

He said goodbye to Bones and went over to Spock’s biobed.

Spock had his eyes closed and Jim was about to turn around and leave after all.

“Jim,” Spock whispered.

He turned and saw Spock watching him, dark eyes as mysterious as ever.

“You are well?”

Jim huffed a laugh as he moved closer. “Me? I’m great. Nothing wrong with me. Thanks to you. And yeah, thank you. You shouldn’t have—”

“I had to.”

Jim smiled crookedly, waiting for Spock to speak of his duty as first officer to watch out for the captain’s life, as per usual.

But when Spock didn’t, Jim prompted, “Your duty to protect the captain, right?”

Spock shook his head. “My duty is important, yes, but that is not why I stepped in to save your life.” Spock paused. “This time and all the others, as well. Despite what I said.”

Jim frowned. “Then…wait. I don’t understand.”

Spock held out his hand toward Jim and Jim took it. “Jim. It is because…”

He smiled then. Understanding. “Because I am your friend.”

The words from when Jim died, for the reason Jim saved Spock from the volcano, echoed in his memories.

Once again, Spock indicated the negative.

“What then?”

“You always shall be my friend. But because I want you to be more than my friend.”

Jim’s eyes widened as it dawned on him what Spock meant.


“We are not together and will not be. I am in love with someone else.” Spock squeezed Jim’s hand that he held. “This simple feeling between us was beyond my comprehension before. It is…everything now.”

“Spock.” He leaned down then and captured Spock’s lips for the first in what he hoped would be a life time of kisses.

Happy Spirk Day 2020

Flash Fic, 01/31/2020

And the last flash for January 2020

“Spock.” Jim shook his head when his first officer approached him on the observation deck. “I know what this is about and…”

“You wish to take it back?”

He blew out a breath. “Yes. I mean…no. Not entirely. I meant what I said. I just…I’m taking it back for now.”

Spock stared at him, dark eyes in turmoil. “I do not understand.”

“Yeah you do. Spock, you…you’re involved with someone.”

“It is my intention to-to end things with Nyota. Due to the fact that—”

“No,” Jim said quickly, interrupting. “Don’t make this about me, Spock. I can’t be the reason you two break up.”

“But you are in fact the reason.”

“No,” he said. “If you and Uhura end your relationship it needs to be a mutual decision because it doesn’t work between you anymore, not because I told you I love you.”

Spock visibly stiffened. “It is not because you love me that I am ending things with Nyota.”

“Sure, sure.” Jim snorted in disbelief, turning away. “Were you planning on it? And my confessing my feelings at that time was just a coincidence?”


“I thought so. Spock…”

“You misunderstand, Jim. It is not your love for me that makes it necessary to end my relationship with Nyota. While I am gratified to learn of your feelings they are not the determining factor.”

Jim frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“Obviously,” Spock said dryly. “I am ending my romantic relationship with Nyota because of my feelings for you.”

Jim’s face filled with warmth, his chest too. He turned and met Spock’s dark gaze. “Your feelings?”

Spock arched a brow. He held two fingers out toward Jim, who, without thinking, met them with his own. Then Spock moved closer still, bent his head toward Jim’s, and let his lips touch his.

Flash Fic, September 25, 2019

The Conclusion of our Clueless Vulcan

Spock had barely been in his quarter but a few minutes when someone buzzed for access. Spock couldn’t have said why, but he suspected it was Jim.


“Hi Spock. Got a moment?”

Spock found himself dreading whatever Jim would say. But he could hardly deny his captain. “Yes, of course.”

Jim nodded. He looked uncomfortable and his gaze landed everywhere except on Spock. “Listen, I owe you an apology.”

Of all the things Spock had expected the captain to say, that hadn’t been one of them. He was at a loss to respond or even know if he ought to, so he waited for Jim to continue.

“I’ve been…behaving inappropriately. Giving you mixed signals. And I’m aware of it, but I haven’t been able to reconcile thoughts in my head until now. None of this is your fault, Spock. It’s all on me.”

When he paused for a long time, Spock felt prodded to respond in some way.

“What is?”

Jim shook his head. He’d wrapped his arms around himself in body language Spock recognized as defensive.

“I’ve had these feelings that I struggled with. I’ve found myself interested in you in ways far beyond friendship or camaraderie. And for much of that time, you’d be with Uhura and so I had forced myself to dismiss all of it. When you two broke up, I started to hope…” He shook his head again and turned entirely away from Spock. “I hoped that maybe, there might, someday, be some kind of reciprocation on your end. I convinced myself you’d been flirting with me. Vulcan flirting, but still. And that had me thinking that I’d been right to think there was a chance for us.”

He paused again, seeming to shrink unto himself and Spock reached toward him even as Jim spoke.

“But now I know I was kidding myself and all you’ll ever feel for me is friendship and that camaraderie. And finding that out…well…it hurt for a while.”

Spock blinked. “When did I…?”

“I heard you in the corridor with Uhura one night. I think my mom once told me that if you eavesdrop you’re bound to hear something you wished you hadn’t and she sure was right about that.”


“I know I had no right to feel hurt. You didn’t owe me your affections or anything. But I took it badly. I drank myself into a stupor with Bones that night. And after, in order to protect both of us, or I thought so anyway, I pulled back from you even as a friend. That was wrong and I can see it negatively affected not only our working relationship but that of the crew.” Jim inhaled and exhaled. “So, basically, I’m sorry. I’ve made a big effort to get past it all and I think I have, so, from now on—”


Jim turned around so fast to stare at Spock he almost lost his balance. His arms had dropped down from being crossed in front of his chest.

“Excuse me?”

“What if I do not desire you to get past it?”


Spock let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, the likes of which were unheard from him, he knew, and very human, but at the moment he didn’t care. He was not good with words. Not emotional ones anyway. And if he’d needed proof, the fact that he had nearly destroyed what would absolutely matter to him most going forward, with carelessly spoken words he knew not to be true when he said it, should tell him that words were not needed just then.

Instead he took the few steps left to reach Jim and took hold of Jim’s arms, gently in his grasp. Those blue blue eyes widened as Spock leaned in and kissed him.

At first Jim’s lips didn’t move, didn’t accept the kiss Spock gave him and Spock had a momentary regret, fearing he’d gotten this all wrong after all despite Jim’s words.

But then, as Spock was about to pull away, he heard the barest gasp of breath from his captain just as his stiff, unyielding lips softened under his, opened for Spock, and allowed Spock to conquer fully. Jim’s hands fisted in Spock’s uniform shirt as he sagged against him, accepting the intrusion of Spock’s tongue eagerly.

Spock wasn’t sure how long they kissed. It felt like seconds, too short, but might have been years for all that he was aware of anything but Jim.

And there would be things, surely, that they would need to talk about, together, their past, their present, and definitely their future, but for now their lips, their arms wrapped around each other as Spock moved them toward his bed, their very bodies, that was all the conversation they needed now.

As he flung Jim onto the bed, his captain bouncing slightly upon impact, Spock flung himself onto Jim, his lips seeking purchase against Jim’s, his mouth wanting to return to the ultimate purpose of claiming this human as his…forever.

But Jim, predictably, had to have more than mere action. He paused to seek out Spock’s gaze, a question in his eyes.

“Spock, yeah?”

He nodded. “I do not have the words.”

Those sensuous lips, so addicting, curved into the slightest of smiles that somehow seemed more genuine than any smile he had yet given to Spock. There was a light within the blue eyes Spock had not seen.

“I do,” said Jim, softly. “I love you.”

Three standard words that had seemed trite and meaningless before. So many said them without ever meaning it.

Yet Spock felt them all the way to his Katra and beyond. Perhaps he had the words after all.

“And I love you.”  

Flash Fic Wednesday, August 28, 2019

And so another multiple part flash begins

This one starring our clueless Vulcan

“Do not be ridiculous, Nyota. I am most certainly not in love with the captain.”

Nyota smirked at Spock. “No?”

“Of course not. He is my friend and superior officer and that is it.”

They had been approaching her quarters when she had made the suggestion that he viewed their captain with a lot more than just friendly affection. They stepped inside, Spock glad they were no longer in the corridor where anyone could hear them.

“You two are practically joined at the hip. He can’t stop touching you and you let him. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Spock paused as he took a seat on the sofa in her room. “Does that bother you?”

“No.” She went to her wardrobe. “I mean sure it did a little when we were still together, but honestly, that was part of why I ended our romantic relationship.” She unzipped her dress.

“You did not tell me this.”

“Spock, at the time I was dealing with the end of our love. Well, that kind of love. If you couldn’t figure out it was Kirk you loved, why should I tell you?” Nyota slipped out of her uniform dress and pulled on a robe, which she tied at the waist. “But now it’s been months, Spock, and you still haven’t faced the truth.”

Spock thought about his interactions with the captain. He did look upon Jim with a great deal of affection, but surely it was just as a…a friend.

“Do you remember how jealous you got at that bar on Fenrah 2? You actually put yourself between Kirk and that woman.”

“Her intentions were questionable in nature and as first officer—”

“She just wanted to fuck him, Spock.”

“It was my duty to protect him from harm.”

“Honey, you are a very logical being. Think about it. Think deep. Your wanting to protect him from paramours has nothing to do with your duty. You want him for yourself and you hate the idea of anyone else with him.”

Spock opened his mouth, closed it. Was it true? His counterpart had implied he was close with his captain, but he had never said…of course he was quite tight-lipped. And Spock had been with Nyota. There had been no reason to believe their timeline would necessarily mirror the ambassador’s.

“You’re always defending him to others, too. And Spock, you aren’t at all comfortable with anyone else touching you except him.” She sat beside him and smiled. “And me, of course. But I’m your former lover and he’s the one you want now. It makes sense.”

Spock swallowed heavily. “How do I…but he does not…”

Nyota laughed.  “Oh yes he does. Trust me. He’s crazy about you.”

“I do not know how to have that conversation.”

“You’ll find a way, Spock.”

100 Words Continuation, May 04, 2018




“Oh my God.” Jim felt himself swaying on his feet.


In an instant, Spock was upon him, holding him up, supporting him. Arms around his waist, face very close to his.

“Spock,” Jim managed to get out. “Are you sure?”

His answer was to swallow Jim’s hitched breath by feasting on Jim’s lips. Cool, soft lips pressed against his, forcing his own apart as Spock’s tongue slipped past the seam.

Jim moaned against Spock, his arms, which had laid un-moving against his side, slipped up and around Spock’s neck to move them closer still.

100 Words Continuation, April 29, 2018


“What I want, Captain, is to rip the clothes from your body, to bend you over your desk, while I ram into you so deep over and over until neither of us can walk straight for a week.”

Jim’s world suddenly tilted. He tingled all over and he briefly wondered if he had finally, irrevocably, lost his mind.


“I am certain you heard every word I said.”

“Yeah. I mean, I heard you. But…I don’t comprehend.”

Spock’s dark eyes were so intense Jim’s breath caught. “I believe you do. You expressed romantic feelings for me.”

“Yeah but—”

“I reciprocate.”

100 Words Continuation, April 28, 2018



“So, um, you want to do that? Go to New Vulcan? For how long?”

Jim decided if Spock said forever he’d probably die a little. But since this was for Spock, whatever happened, happened. It wasn’t as though the Kirks ever got happy endings.


Spock spoke so softly that for a moment Jim wondered if he had somehow imagined the word.

He found himself simply staring at Spock.


“I do not wish to take a leave of absence on New Vulcan at this time.”

Oh, God. He did want it to be permanent.


100 Words Continuation, April 27, 2018


“That’s very kind of you, Captain.”

Jim smiled. At least he was getting somewhere. Spock was interested in the leave of absence. Which was good, because the idea of Spock leaving permanently was something he didn’t want to think about. Sure, Spock could go there and ultimately decide to stay there after all.

“It’s no problem at all. I should have thought of it before. I’m sure you’d like to visit your father too. It’s been quite a while since you last saw him, right?” Jim was warming to the idea, and he thought Spock was too.


100 Words Continuation April 22, 2018



“No. Spock, no. I admit that my…confession…was ill-advised. I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable in any way. That’s not how I want to behave professionally as your captain and personally as your friend.” Jim tried a smile. It felt bad. “I’d like us to move past that and frankly pretend it never happened.”

“I see,” Spock said neutrally.

“But it did get me to thinking how I hadn’t been very fair to you about New Vulcan. And maybe, if you don’t want to leave entirely, we can consider a leave of absence for you.”

“A leave of absence.”

“For however long you need. I’d approve it.”

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