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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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jealousy

Flash Fic, November 05, 2021

“You are going to the fall festival with the doctor?” Spock asked.

Jim didn’t even look up from his PADD. “Uh-huh.”

They were seated outside under an umbrella. Spock had hot tea and Jim had something called a Pumpkin Chai Latte over ice.

They had both removed their Academy attire for the day. Jim wore obscenely tight jeans and a T-shirt that declared Happy Fall Y’all, which Spock had pointed out many times was grammatically incorrect, and Spock wore much looser denim trousers and a burgundy sweater.

“But why?”

“Because he asked me.” Jim looked up at Spock at last. “If you remember, you said you had—and I’m quoting here—’zero interest in attending such a festivity’.”

“I thought we had agreed not to go.”

Jim gave Spock one of those smiles he generally reserved for those he thought were idiots. Spock was somewhat surprised to be on the receiving end of one.

“No, Spock. You agreed not to go. I did no such thing. Bones asked and I said yes.”

“But…you and I are…” And here Spock floundered for the proper term. Neither ‘dating’ nor ‘seeing each other’ quite seemed right. For that matter ‘sleeping together’ wasn’t quite it either.

At least this time, Jim helped him out.

“Right, I know. But that has nothing to do with this.”

“It does not?”

“No. Bones and I are going together as friends who want to go. No big deal.”

“Then I will go as well.”

Jim stuck the straw of his drink into his mouth, but not before Spock caught a hint of that same smile.

“Why?” Jim asked.

“Because if you are going, I should go.”

“We’re not joined at the hip, sweetheart.”

And Spock warmed at the endearment even though he tried not to. He liked it when Jim used such terms for him. Illogical nonsense but there it was.

“I realize but…”

Jim was now tilting his head this way and that as he peered at Spock. “Oh. I get it.”

“Get what?”

He laughed. “You’re jealous.”

Spock was affronted. “I most certainly am not.”

“Yeah you are. You don’t like me doing things with Bones that don’t include you. It’s silly. I’m not interested in Bones. I’m interested in you. I would think my screaming your name last night would have convinced you.” He shrugged.

“Jim.”

Jim laughed again. “We’re friends only. Just like you and…” He wrinkled his nose in the same way he did when he smelled Spock cooking broccoli.

“Nyota,” Spock supplied.

“Yeah her. Anyway, there’s no need for you to go to the fall festival. Stay home and do whatever it is Vulcans do when their mates aren’t with them.”

Spock sniffed. “Most Vulcan mates don’t date others.”

“Spock.”

“Very well.” Spock paused. “What time are we leaving for the festival?”

Jim rolled his eyes but sighed. “Ten tomorrow morning.”

Spock nodded. “I will be ready.”

“Swell.” Jim laughed. “No, I mean that. I do.” He held his drink out for Spock to try, who did so.

“Not terrible.”

“There you see. Finish up and let’s go home.”

Spock did and as they walked to their apartment, he wondered how he got manipulated into going to the fall festival. Because he was certain that somehow…he was.

Flash Fic, November 03, 2021

“Oh yeah, that was Jensen. She’s an admiral now, but back then—”

“Captain,” Spock interrupted. Though to do so was rude. Spock knew. “I have no desire to listen to your past conquests.”

Judging by the suddenly closed off look on Jim’s face, Spock had managed to cause offense. That had not been his intention, but it was quite true he had no desire to hear about Jim and others. Spock experienced a not insignificant amount of jealousy during such discussions.

“Okay.”

It was all Jim said and it was said softly.

They were on shore leave in a booth in a quiet little bar of Jim’s choosing. Spock would have rather sat at a café but Jim wanted a drink and since these days Jim rarely got to relax and indulge, Spock did not disagree.

“It is not that I do not wish to hear about your life, it is—”

“It’s fine, Spock. I get it.”

“I meant no offense,” Spock tried again.

Jim smiled, but it was a fake smile. Spock knew the difference.

“I’m not offended. But I am tired. What do you say I finish this drink and we go back to the ship?”

“But I thought we had dinner reservations at that restaurant you wished to try. The one recommended by your brother.”

Jim waved that away. “Sam always had terrible taste. Let’s just cancel that. We can always grab something in the mess room later.”

When Jim made to slide out of the booth, Spock stopped him with his hand on Jim’s wrist. Blue eyes flew up to look at him in surprise.

“I find you and anything to do with you endlessly fascinating. My reasons for not wishing to hear about past paramours are purely selfish. I am…jealous of anyone that has ever gotten to touch you before me.”

This time Jim smiled genuinely.

“You silly Vulcan. None of them matter. I only have eyes for you.”

“And all your other body parts, I hope.” Spock arched a brow.

Jim laughed. “Definitely. Come on. Let me finish this and then we’ll make that reservation.”

“What about Sam’s poor taste?”

“Maybe he got this right.” Jim winked. “He did tell me you were perfect for me.”

Spock inclined his head. “And for that push in my direction, I am grateful.”

Flash Fic, November 01, 2021

“You’re showing your jealousy.”

Jim laughed. “Jealous? What have I got to be jealous about?”

His best friend, Bones, rolled his eyes. They were seated in the Academy cafeteria, enjoying a late afternoon lunch.

Well, enjoying might be a slight exaggeration. The food was only marginally better than the food in Jim’s middle school cafeteria.

Bones fingered his chin. “Oh, I don’t know. Your ex is over there cozying up to your nemesis.”

“Uhura is not my nemesis.”

“Sure, sure. But she’s still practically sitting in the lap of Professor Spock.”

“Hey, whatever. Spock dumped me. He’s no longer my concern.”

“Okay, yeah. Maybe.”

Jim eyed him over his bad cup of coffee. “What does that mean?”

“Well.” Bones shrugged. “I know you two had a fight. I know you’ve been staying at the dorm ever since with me.”

“But?”

“Are you, well, was that really an official breakup? Did the hobgoblin actually say the words ‘Jim, it’s over’ or you know ‘I hereby dump you’?”

“No one says that.”

“Some version of that then.”

“Doesn’t he look like he broke up with me?” Jim asked. “He hasn’t looked this way once and he seems pretty focused on her.”

“To make you jealous, maybe.”

Jim laughed. “Well, it’s totally not working.”

“Of course not. But I still say having a fight doesn’t mean he intends for it to be done done.”

“Has he attempted to contact me or come crawling back? Nope. He has not. In fact, he’s dating. So, fuck him. Or don’t fuck him as the case might be.”

“You could be the mature one.”

“Ha. Not likely. I’ll go down with the ship before that ever happens.” Jim didn’t care that made no sense. Whatever. “I have a date myself tonight.”

“With who?”

“Gaila.”

Bones sighed. “Bad idea.”

“I don’t remember asking you.”

“And right there is where you get yourself in trouble. You should have. The moment you screw Gaila, you can forget you and Spock reconciling.”

“For the last time, Bones, WHO. CARES?”

Bones shook his head. “You’re funeral.”

****

“Jimmy, I’m having a crappy time and you look sad.”

Jim eyed her over his grasshopper. All right so he liked green. Orions, Vulcans. Whatever. Drinks counted too. Even way too sweet ones.

“Sorry.”

Gaila sighed. “You could contact him and say you’re sorry.”

“I’m not,” Jim insisted. “He was being a jerk.”

“Maybe he was and maybe he wasn’t. Does it matter who was wrong and who was right? You’re completely miserable.”

“He has a girlfriend.” He took another sip, grimaced, and then another.

“Uhura? Nah. Nyota’s not his girlfriend.”

“She wants to be.”

“Doesn’t make it so. There’s lots of girls who want to be your girlfriend, but you want Spock.”

“I do not.” He scowled.

“Jimmy, I…I’m going to go,” she said suddenly, rising from the seat across from him in the booth at the bar.

“What? Why?”

“Because someone else wants this seat.”

“What? Who?”

She shook her head, leaned down, and kissed his forehead. “Be good, Jimmy.”

She walked away and then a shadow fell across the table. Jim looked up and saw Spock looming over him. His gaze was on the green concoction in front of Jim.

“Sweet cocktails make you sick.”

“So what?”

Spock sighed and took the sear Gaila most recently occupied.

“What do you want?” Jim asked sullenly.

“To take you home. To our apartment.”

“I don’t live there. You kicked me out.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Well.” Jim shrugged. “Why do you want me to go home with you?”

“Because I love you and you are mine,” Spock said simply.

Jim blinked. He pushed away the sickening drink. “Yeah?”

Spock shook his had and sighed. “You are most illogical. There are times I would like to choke you and I am quite certain you feel that way about me.”

Jim smiled a little. “Yeah.”

“But there is no one else I would rather be with for the rest of my life.”

“Not even Uhura?”

“Not even her. There is no need to be jealous of my friendship with Nyota, Jim. She is only a friend and that is all she will ever be. I have tried to tell you that before. You are the one I want. Only.”

Jim bit his lip, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll go home with you.” His stomach churned. “But I did drink way too many of those things.”

“Indeed.” Spock nodded and stood, helping Jim from the booth. “Come, I will take care of you while you are sick.”

Jim walked out with Spock, Spock’s arm around him, and he felt…not great. But better.    

Ramblings of the Week Oct 03

Yep this is going to a weekly thing for however long I do this blog. I’ve been known to delete it before.

We are on a heightened Earthquake alert here. Through Tuesday there is a higher chance we will be felled with a major giant earthquake. I guess we get these “alerts” once or twice a year though I confess this is the first time I remember getting one.

Went to the Science Center Sunday and saw the space shuttle Endeavor as well as an IMAX movie on the 100th anniversary of the National Parks. Next year I am going to Yellowstone so it was kind of interesting.

I’ve discovered that I have a major letdown issue. As most of you know who read my work on AO3, I put a lot of heart and soul into that work.that goes on there and so when people decide just not to comment on it anymore it’s a huge disappointment for me. I get those that never leave comments. Comments are awesome and it makes a writer feel super good when they get them and eager to write more. But if you don’t ever comment, you don’t comment. But it’s those who only comment sometimes that I find the hardest to take. Because you end up thinking you did something wrong because they liked other chapters but all of a sudden they don’t like your latest chapters. It’s disheartening.

I also have a jealousy issue. I see people gushing and commenting and kudoing on other fics while ignoring mine or whatever. And I feel bad. I admit it. It’s probably wrong but there you have it. I have never ever been popular. Ever. And I think it comes from that.

Oh, well. It is what it is. And it bothers me sometimes more than other times.

So I guess those are my rambling for this week. Hope everyone has a good one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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