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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

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Flash Fic, March 14, 2025

This isn’t really what I wanted to post for this week but time got away from me and I didn’t have time to devote to the flash I intended to write, so you get this one. It’s sort of a mix of POVs which I don’t like to do in the same scene but eh, it is what it is. It also ended up being a bit longer than I thought it would.

Uhura didn’t often come to this part of the observation deck. At least not anymore. It was nicknamed “The Crying Room” because it seemed the location most chose to come when they were feeling particularly down. You had to be an officer to have access to this area and it had some of the best views of the stars and also many private areas for reflection.

When her relationship with Spock was ending, she’d come there but she’d moved on from those days. She no longer felt sorry for what was not meant to be and looked forward to the future.

She wasn’t even sure what brought her there this particular night. Intuition of some kind, maybe? Whatever. She had only been there a few short moments looking out at the vastness of space when she heard someone crying.

They weren’t far away and she turned to leave, feeling as though she was intruding on the person’s grief, but something in the way it sounded reminded her of who it might be and that was strange. She wouldn’t have expected to find him here these days. Maybe once, but now…

“Captain?”

Uhura approached the corner area where she knew there was a small alcove with a cushioned bench, like one of the old-fashioned fainting couches in long ago history. It was secluded and she guessed many didn’t even know it was there. There was one small round window that looked out to space, like a ship’s porthole.   

“Captain?”

He was huddled in the bench, legs pulled up tight to his chest, arms wrapped around those legs.

“Jim? Are you all right?”

He shook his head but didn’t speak.

She was torn about what to do. He seemed so distraught she didn’t think it would be good to leave him like this.

“What happened?” she asked after a moment.

He wiped his eyes. “I’ve just had a really bad day.”

Not too far away was a chair that she could bring over so she did so and sat close by him..

“Like what? Tell me,” she urged gently. She wanted to contact Spock but first she needed to know how bad the situation was.

He didn’t answer at first and she thought he might not and she was prepared to get Spock anyway.

“I woke up after a nightmare with a really bad headache. Bones stabbed me with a hypo in the neck when I told him. And they always hurt, but I don’t know maybe he got it in a weird spot, because it really hurt. And then I was notified Wilkins didn’t make it.”

“Wilkins?”

“Security guard injured during the mission yesterday.”

“Oh,” she said softly.

“Then Komack contacted me. He’s sending us to a sector that’s known to be hostile and dangerous. I argued about it, got reprimanded for arguing and told to go anyway. That’s likely going to cost us more casualties. Lots of crew members injured or worse. And why? Because bureaucrats say so. People signed up to explore new words and civilizations not to get murdered by maniacal alien forces.”

Uhura didn’t respond to that. Everyone knew it was possible but Jim knew that just like she did.

“Spock and I had a big fight.”

Oh.

“How big? Like not talking for a few days or break up big?”

He closed his eyes.

“Listen, it can’t be that bad. Spock loves you. Like a crazy amount.”

He blew out a long breath. “Then my mom contacted me. Sam…he’s dying. There was an accident on Deneva where he’s been living. He’s not expected to survive. I haven’t…you know…he’s still my brother.”

“You really have had a bad day,” Uhura agreed. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

If he heard her, he didn’t acknowledge it.

She slipped out of the room and pulled out her communicator. “Uhura to Spock.”

It didn’t take long.  “Spock here.”

“Listen, Jim’s in the observation area known as the Crying Room. He’s upset.”

“We had an argument and—”

“No,” she interrupted sharply. “Whatever your issue is, get over it. He’s really upset, Spock. I guess Leonard hurt him and Wilkins didn’t make it and Komack is being Komack and—”

“Nyota—”

Spock. There was an accident and his brother isn’t expected to live.”

“I am on my way.”

Uhura wasn’t that surprised when he made it very quickly. She squeezed his arm and walked away, leaving her two commanding officers to it.

“Jim?”

Jim looked at Spock, his eyes brimming with tears. “Uhura contacted you?”

“Yes.” Spock stepped forward, scooped Jim up in his arms and moved to sit on the bench Jim had been only a moment before.

“We’re both not going to fit,” Jim protested.

Spock had to acknowledge he was right. “Will you come with me to your quarters?”

“Okay, but you’re not carrying me. I’m walking on my own.”

Spock agreed and set his captain down.

They departed the room and made their way to the turbolift in silence. Jim kept his gaze down and Spock was glad as they made their way to the captain’s quarters that they didn’t come upon anyone.

He entered Jim’s code and Jim stepped inside followed by Spock.

Spock instantly enveloped him in a tight embrace.

“I apologize for speaking in anger before.”

“Me too,” Jim mumbled against him.

“Do you want something to eat?”

“No.”

“Shower?”

Jim shook his head.

“Then let me get you ready for bed, where I will hold you and you can tell me everything.”

Spock took Jim’s hand and led him to the bed. He undressed his captain, then helped him into his pajamas, before undressing himself and putting on his preferred sleeping robe.

Then he got them both into the bed and pulled Jim close to him once more.

“I don’t like it when we fight.”

“I do not either. I was about to look for you when Nyota contacted me to apologize. I am so very sorry I contributed to your bad day, Ashaya. Your brother—”

Jim closed his eyes and pushed closer still to Spock, who tightened his grasp on him.

“I haven’t talked to him in years. Now I’ll never get the chance.”

Spock closed his eyes. “I lost a brother too.”

“You had a brother?”

“Half. My father disowned him.”

Jim looked at him. “So there’s still a chance that someday—”

Spock shook his head. “I have learned he perished on Vulcan when it was destroyed.”

“Oh.”

Spock kissed him. “Tell me about Sam.”

“Once he was my hero…” Jim began.    .  

Flash Fic, December 12, 2024

Cool fact, today would have been my father’s 102 birthday!

This is Part One…. (warning for strong language)

Photo by Josh Hild on Pexels.com

Ten years earlier

“Don’t walk away from me in the middle of this!” Jim shouted. He was furious. He couldn’t remember when he was this angry.

Spock took a step back and shook his head. “I require meditation.”

Meditation? Are you fucking kidding me? Right now?”

His eyes were impossibly dark. “I require meditation at this exact moment so that I do not give into the desire to strangle you.”

Jim gasped. “Are we really fucking back to that? Just try it, mister, and I’ll have you court martialed before you can say Kobayashi Maru!”

Bones stepped in and put his hand on Jim’s arm. “Jim, take a deep breath. Calm down.”

Jim felt enraged. “I don’t want to fucking calm down, Bones. I’m done.”

“Jim—”

“Nope. Fuck you, Spock. You can go straight to hell.”

And with that he stormed off and away.

Ten years later

“It was great having dinner with you, Captain. I mean admiral,” Sulu quickly corrected himself. He glanced at his husband and now young adult daughter, Demora. “We all enjoyed it.”

Jim smiled. “Jim will do. It was great for me too. I can’t believe you’re entering the Academy, Demora.”

She blushed a little. “Yes, sir. I hope to be a pilot like Dad.”

Jim winked. “You have lofty aspirations but I have no doubt you’ll succeed.”

They stepped outside of the restaurant and on to the San Francisco street. It was a little cool so Jim pulled his coat around him.

“You want us to give you a lift to your apartment?” Sulu asked.  

“No, that’s all right. I don’t mind the walk and it’s not that far.”

Sulu hesitated but then nodded. “You ever hear from Spock, sir?”

“Spock? No. We don’t keep in touch.”

“I just thought…never mind. I guess he’s probably on New Vulcan.”

“Maybe so.”

Ben spoke up then. “If you aren’t doing anything for Christmas, Jim, we’d love to have you over to our place. I make a great turkey.”

Jim shook his head. “Actually, I’m meeting Bones in Aspen, Colorado. I leave in a couple of days.”

“Oh.” Sulu’s expression brightened. “That’s good. Give Leonard our best.”

“I will.”

He gave Demora a quick hug, and then her parents too. “Merry Christmas.”

Then despite their offer again of a ride, Jim continued on his way.

May 26, 2022 Flash Fic

Spock felt Jim’s distress pouring off of him. It lead to Spock feeling distressed in reaction. Thus, definitely the problem with having your T’hy’la bond with a Human.

He could shield and that would make Jim’s emotional state less of a burden to him, but Spock didn’t really wish to do that. Not at this point.

But as Spock watched Jim anxiously standing by his father’s bed as Leonard McCoy treated him, Spock knew what he would have to do. The sacrifice he would have to make.

It would tear him apart, but for Jim, yes.

Spock put his hand on Jim’s back to get his attention, then turned him to face him, stepping away from where McCoy worked for just a moment.

“Jim, we need to talk.”

Jim licked his lips and then glanced back at his father. “Okay.” He nodded.

“When your father has been cured, you need to return to your time with him.”

Jim did not respond but was looking at Spock.

Here was the hard part.

“And I must stay here.”

“What?” Jim whispered.

“Your family is very important to you, Jim. You love them and they love you. You have a rare, very close relationship. Your life is full and rich and everything you want it to be.”

“Except without you.”

“I cannot come with you,” Spock made himself say. “I want to be with you, I love you, and that will never change.” Spock shook his head. “It amazes me that in the little amount of time I have known you, you have come to mean so much. But I do not belong there, in your time.”

“Spock—”

“Always having to hide myself, worrying about exposure as to who and what I am. Your world is not yet ready for me. And I cannot ask you to leave your family behind to stay here with me. This is not your life; your life is there.”

“I-I could do it,” Jim insisted.

“You shouldn’t have to.”

Jim’s eyes were filling with tears, which was making it even more difficult for Spock.

“But your T’hy’la bond, don’t you need it?”

“It’s mere existence is a comfort to me. Before you leave, I will shield both of our minds to lessen any trauma or distress brought on by separation. It will be easy for you and quite manageable for me.”

“You think this is going to be easy for me?” Jim asked, choking up. “Nothing about any of this is easy. Telling me we’ll never see each other again, but hey, it’s okay, Jim because I can shield myself from you? That may work for your brain, Spock, but it sure as hell won’t work for my heart!”

“Jim—” Spock let out a shaky breath. “You know yourself that you do not want to simply disappear from your family without knowing what happened to you. You’ve said as much and I know how you feel.”

Jim closed his eyes and a tear squeezed out of his eye onto his cheek. “I get it. I understand what you’re telling me. But I want you to know, this is anything but easy.”

“I am sorry.”

Jim shook his head. “Me too.”

“Jim, only a few more minutes,” McCoy said from by the bed.

Jim embraced Spock then, holding him close, and letting the tears fall. “I don’t want this.”

“I know, T’hy’la. I do not either.”

Spock put his hand on Jim’s face.

“Will shielding hurt? I mean…physically.”

“Negative.” And yes, it will be excruciating, Spock thought.   

Jim leaned his head on Spock’s shoulder.

Spock probed Jim’s mind and placed a shield there so being apart would do not damage to Jim’s mind. He did the same for his own, though he knew it would not be enough to dull the pain and torment of not being with his T’hy’la.

And some day, if he entered Pon Farr…but no, he would not think of that. It did not matter. Only ensuring Jim would have what he needed was important.

It was the best he could do under the circumstances, but already he felt the loss of the comfort of Jim’s mind with his. He could no longer feel Jim’s deeper emotions, only surface ones where he touched.

“Jim,” McCoy called.

Jim pulled back and kissed Spock.

Amazingly, Spock let him go and walk away. He was uncertain how he managed it.

Jim went to his father’s bedside.

“He’s fine now. He’ll recover,” McCoy assured Jim. “Heart’s good as new. You may have to explain that miracle—”

“Okay.”

“If you’re going with him,” Leonard said, with a glance at Spock, who nodded, “sit on the bed and hold onto him. That way you should both transport.”

Jim did as Leonard said, but he didn’t look at Spock. For that Spock was grateful, for he might beg Jim to stay after all.

“Okay, Sybok, they’re ready,” Leonard said into the comm.

George Kirk opened his eyes and looked around. “Jim? Who are—”

Then they were gone. Both of them.

Star Trek Day Flash

I didn’t think about writing anything for “Star Trek Day” September 8th until the night before so forgive me for this extremely rough short flash.

Spock hears the approach of Doctor McCoy, but he does not turn around. He suspects the doctor had been sent ahead to tell him the news about Spock’s husband. There is still so little they know to presume that he would not know. The instant he had been torn from the Enterprise Spock knew.

“Spock.”

McCoy’s voice is rough, hoarse, torn asunder with grief. Spock manages not to wince.

Spock’s silence encourages the doctor to continue though that was not Spock’s intention.

“Jim…”

Spock closes his eyes from the sight of the city lights outside their…his…apartment window. He straightens though he does not turn around.

“I know, Leonard.”

“Spock, Jim…”

“I know,” Spock says again.

“How? Who told you?” There are tears in McCoy’s voice. It sounds thick and unsteady.

“No one.”

“Then…”

He wants to sigh, but knows it is inappropriate under the circumstances. “The bond severed upon his–demise.”

Silence greets his words and though Spock still does not turn around it seems like an uneasy, stunned silence. Perhaps he imagines it. He is aware that McCoy does not fully understand the connection he has–had–with Jim.

“I’m sorry.”

So is Spock but he cannot make the words form let alone have them fall from his lips. He manages not to show that he is shaking. Or at least he believes he does.

“What do you need?”

“To be alone.”

McCoy is quiet though Spock knows he has not left. Then there is a hand placed on his shoulder and Spock cannot stop the flinch. Doesn’t try.

“I’ll leave you be then.” A long pause. “For now.”

He hears the apartment door open and close and then the fading of McCoy’s footsteps as he walks away to leave Spock alone.

Spock clenches his fists and curses Jim for dying.

I am soooooo sorry for this.

I’m At It Again…Sorry

Damn it I am at it again!

You’ve probably seen by now that I started a new fic called False Memories. I honestly was starting a one-shot and then it got me thinking it deserved more than one chapter and well…

I am really going to try to keep it down on the short side 2 maybe 3 chapters.

 

Message….2

james_t-_kirk_during_the_kobayashi_maru_scenario

Jim tried to pay attention in his linguistics class, he did. But he found himself staring at the back of the head of Uhura.

A few days ago he’d seen them together. At a teashop. Looking intimate, cozy. He hadn’t even known they were meeting that day. At the time, Jim had thought he was overreacting to it. The spark of jealousy he’d felt was nothing. After all, Spock could meet with whomever he wanted. But normally, since they’d been seeing each other, Spock told him everything, all his plans. Not this one.

And now…the message he’d gotten this morning.

I do not believe this is working.  

Jim left the class when it was done, wondering if he should go to his next class or not.

“Kirk, are you okay?”

He froze and turned to face Uhura, who was frowning at him.

Jim kept his face blank. “Yeah. Sure. I’m fine.”

“Are you—”

“Have to go.”

She was still talking when he walked away, and yeah, maybe it was rude, but he just couldn’t do this right now.

Today, well, this afternoon, after classes, was to be the day he was going to move out of his dorm and in with Spock.

100 Words Continuation, May 25, 2018

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“Why am I on the floor?”

Spock shook his head. “Let me help you up.” He stood and reached down to pull Jim up and into his arms. “That is much better, is it not?”

Jim sighed and leaned against him. “Yes. Much. Spock.”

“Yes?”

“It-it happened again, didn’t it?”

Spock swallowed heavily. “To what do you refer?”

“You know. I-I lost it again.”

Jim’s voice was soft and filled with pain. It made Spock ache.

“It is my fault, darling. My meetings took longer than I realized. And I allowed them to talk me into dining with them.”

100 Words Continuation, May 22, 208

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Spock’s hand shook as he touched Jim’s cheek. “Remember,” he whispered.

He did what he often had to do. Use their bond to remind Jim who he was and who Spock was. Usually morning and afternoons were Jim’s best times. He generally remembered and did all right. And if Spock was with him in the evenings, it never got to this point.

But Spock had been too long.

Jim’s blue eyes cleared, though they still shone with tears. “Spock?”

Spock gave him a gentle smile and allowed his hand to fall. “Yes, darling. It is me.”

 

100 Words Continuation April 20, 2018

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“I do not understand,” Spock said after staring at Jim blankly.

“Yeah you do. Or I think you do.” Jim looked at his own clenched hands rather than at Spock. Maybe it would be easier. “Before you wanted to go to New Vulcan and I think, I don’t know, that you didn’t go because you felt like maybe Uhura and I needed you to stay. I can’t speak for her but I think from my point of view, if you think it would benefit the Vulcan race to—”

“You intend to send me a way because I did not react the way you had hoped when you confessed feelings for me.”

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