Search

Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

Tag

After Beyond

Flash Fic Friday, April 14, 2017 Edition

My prompt was A Lie, a Truth and Alien interference. I got the Alien interference part but the other? Oh well. This will be added some time on Friday to my For Love of Spirk collection on A03, but you get the first looksie here.

“So, what are you doing here anyway?” Bones eyed Jim over his glass of whiskey as he leaned back in his desk chair.

“Well.” Jim sort of shrugged. “I, um, I guess I need advice.”

“Advice.”

“Yeah.” Jim grimaced and took a sip of his own liquor.

Bones nodded. “About what?”

“Spock.”

“Oh lord save me.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “You’re a big help.”

“What do you want?”

“To, um, how to tell him how I feel. You know.”

“Why is that so hard?”

“Because I’ve never done it.” Jim blanched. “It’s icky.”

“God, are you sure you’re an actual adult?”

Jim grinned. “No.”

“Thought so. You just want to spring it on him then? Go up to his station on the bridge and blurt out you love him?”

Jim made a face at the L word. “Last night…we did it.”

“Did what?”

It.”

Bones stared at him. “Oh. That it.”

“Yeah.”

“Spare me the details.”

“Three times.”

Bones made a strangled sound. “Is that sparing me the details?”

“You’re old enough to know people sometimes have sex.”

“People, yeah. But you and Spock?” Bones shuddered.

“I almost said it, you know, when. But that’s not really the proper time to say it, is it?”

“No?”

Jim swirled his whiskey in his glass. “Your sincerity is doubted if you scream it out during sex. Everybody knows that.”

“Hmm.” Bones finished his own whiskey and set down the glass and then reached into his desk for a package of crackers that Jim recognized he’d purchased the last time they were on Risa. “Why don’t you practice telling me?”

“Huh?”

“People practice speeches all the time. And stuff like that, right? So tell me you love me. And if you can tell me you love me with a straight face then you’re good to go.”

Jim thought about it. The suggestion did have merit. Would be a bit awkward though. “Well. I guess I could try it.”

“There’s a good captain.”

He was tempted to roll his eyes again. “Okay. Here goes.” He cleared his throat, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. “The thing is. I’ve harbored this secret for a long time.”

“Harbored a secret? That’s what we’re going with?”

“Shut up. Am I doing this or are you?”

Bones snorted.

“I’ve loved you for a long time. Um. Way before the mission. Really way before. Maybe even back in the academy and—”

“You’re babbling.”

“This isn’t easy for me.”

Bones sighed. “I know, kid. Just say it. Forget all the preambles and just come right out and tell me.”

Jim exhaled slowly. “I love you.”

There was a long moment of silence and then Bones grinned.

“Was that so hard?”

“Incredibly so,” Jim told him. Then grinned too. “Especially without laughing. Ugh. I do love you, but fuck me, not like that.”

“Thank God,” Bones said dryly.

“Now, really, I need to go. I’m late. Spock’s expecting me.”

“Good luck.” Bones paused. “And Jim? I’m happy for you.”

Jim may have been a little giddy as he made his way to the turbolift and ordered it to the deck with the officers’ quarters. He was feeling good. Really good. The night before had been amazing and for once it looked like everything was going to go his way at last.

He smiled at a passing ensign and as he rounded the corner, he spotted Spock standing and talking to Nyota. Which was fine. He knew they were no longer together and hadn’t been for a few weeks. But he stopped walking when he heard his own name.

“In point of fact, my relationship with Jim is not going to work out after all,” Spock said quietly.

“What?” Uhura asked, her face scrunching up in confusion. “But I thought—”

“New information convinces me otherwise. Last night was clearly an error on my part and I will be forced to apologize.”

Oh God.

Spock didn’t want him. Spock changed his mind. It was-it was an error on Spock’s part.

A beautiful lie.

Jim turned on his heels and went the other direction, blindly walking away so that they wouldn’t see him. The last thing he wanted right now was to face Spock’s apology.

He was going to be sick. That’s what he was going to be. He went to Bones’ quarters instead. He knew how to access it, had with Bones’ permission many times.

Once inside Bones’ quarters he sunk down onto the bed. He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes to stop any tears that might leak out. He would not cry. No. Jim Kirk didn’t cry over anyone.

Even—

Even Spock.

He pulled himself into a fetal position and lay on Bones’ bed, waiting for when his friend would come.

****

“Captain? Captain, are you all right?” Spock asked. His heart thundered in his side as he waited for Jim’s answer. He hadn’t heard a sound out of Jim for an hour. They’d been held captive for five. Jim was in the cell next to his.

After receiving a distress signal from the colonists on Loganville, they’d made their way to the planet, only to find that the city had been overrun with Klingons. Their security detail had been quickly decimated and Spock and Jim had been taken captive. So far, they were unharmed. But Spock was unsure how long that would last.

“I’m fine, Spock,” Jim said, his voice so soft Spock struggled to hear. “Just like the last time you asked.”

“You suffer from no injuries?”

“No.”

To say Jim was subdued around Spock was an understatement. In the last twelve hours prior to the mission, Jim had barely looked at Spock, let alone spoken to him. Spock knew why, yet it was still painful.

“Captain.”

A long pause.

“Yeah?”

“I need to offer an apology and—”

“Forget it. You don’t owe me an apology or anything else.”

“I disagree. The other night I—”

“It doesn’t matter, Spock.”

“It does matter. I acted unprofessionally and therefore I must apologize.”

Jim sighed and Spock heard a slight thunk as though Jim’s head had hit the cell. “Okay. I accept your apology.”

“If I took advantage of your vulnerability then I—”

Jim laughed. “You didn’t. And I’m not vulnerable.”

“Jim.”

“Just shut up, Spock.”

For about twenty minutes, Spock did, somewhat stung by the rebuff from his captain. And in Spock’s defense, Jim had acted as though he wished physical contact between them.

“It is only that I was under the impression that you shared my interest at the time.”

Another long pause.

“Captain? Are you injured?”

“No, Spock.”

“Then—”

“Your interest?”

Spock nodded which seemed ridiculous considering Jim couldn’t even see him. “In mutual copulation.”

“Do you think the Enterprise will find us?”

Spock frowned slightly. “You are changing the subject.”

“Yeah. Not to mention, I’m hoping they will find us and save me from this really fucking idiotic conversation.”

Spock’s ire bristled. “You could have simply said you did not wish to discuss the matter.”

“I did. I told you to shut up. After telling you I didn’t want to your apology.”

That was true, Spock admitted to himself.

“Are you pursuing a relationship with Doctor McCoy?” Spock made himself ask.

This pause was the longest one yet and Spock opened his mouth once more to ascertain Jim’s well-being.

“A what?”

“A relationship with Doctor McCoy,” Spock replied with far more patience than he felt. “Considering your confessed feelings toward him.”

“My-my what? Commander, did you hit your head?”

“I did not. I overheard your declaration to Doctor McCoy in the medbay.”

“Uh, what?”

Spock’s control was on the verge of snapping. “You were late and I went in search of you and discovered you in the doctor’s office revealing your affection for the doctor. I could only surmise our own sexual intercourse from the night before had convinced you that you should declare your feelings to McCoy after the inadequacies of our night together.”

“Inadequacies? You thought that was inadequate?” Jim’s voice had risen an octave.

“Certainly not. It was most satisfactory.”

“Satisfactory. That’s so much better.”

Spock recognized the sarcasm in Jim’s voice but he did not understand the reason behind it. “Captain?”

“Spock, I was not declaring my love for Bones, I was declaring my love for you.”

“But you were not aware of my presence.”

Jim groaned. “I know. This is going to sound really lame, but I was practicing.”

“Practicing what, Captain?”

“Telling you I loved you.”

Spock’s side ached. “In the past tense?”

“No,” Jim said softly again. “I still do. But you don’t want me.”

“What?”

A long sigh. “You. Don’t. Want. Me. I knew it was too good to be true.”

“Captain, I—”

“I overheard you telling Uhura we weren’t going to have a relationship, Spock.”

Spock closed his eyes. If Jim had been close, he might have shaken him. “Because I thought you were in love with Doctor McCoy.”

“I love you, Stupid Pointy-Eared Bastard.”

Though Spock would have preferred a different endearment, he felt relieved nonetheless. “And I love you as well, you highly illogical, infuriating human.”

At that moment, Spock heard the approach of footsteps and he tensed as he heard them stop just outside of Jim’s cell. He heard words spoken in Klingon and then Jim’s cell being opened.

“Now would be a really a good time for the Enterprise to beam us up,” Jim called out.

“Captain—”

He heard the sound of a transporter activating and then the Klingon swore angrily. Spock felt his own particles breaking up.

And he emerged on the transporter on the Enterprise.

“Hot damn!” Jim exclaimed from next to Spock. “Scotty that was amazing!”

“Well I did the calculations—” Scott began to say excitedly.

Jim grabbed Spock and pressed his lips to Spock in a very deep, erotic kiss that should never have been seen by anyone. Spock found himself quite aroused.

“Ahem.”

Spock broke them apart and they both turned to look at Scott, McCoy, and Nyota all standing in the transporter room.

“Captain, that was a most unseemly display,” Spock protested, feeling the blush in his own cheeks.

“I know.” Jim grinned and grabbed Spock’s hand. “Come with me and I’ll get even more unseemly. Scotty, get us out of here. And you have the con.”

“Aye, Captain.”

And as they left the room, Spock heard McCoy’s sigh and Nyota’s giggle.

Oddly enough Spock didn’t care, as his gaze was most firmly riveted on Jim’s ass.

March 17 Flash Fic Friday

Today’s Prompt: A New Crew Member and a Show of Possessiveness.

The captain smiled vaguely at Spock as they made their way down the corridor toward the shuttle bay. They were expecting a group of new crew members who were assigned to the Enterprise as replacements for some of the crew they’d lost due to the incidents involving Altamid several months ago. There had been a few transfers as well. After months waiting for the new ship to be built, the Enterprise would finally be leaving Yorktown in two weeks.

Spock had no specific objection to Yorktown, but Jim was restless and anxious to be on the Enterprise and in space once more. When Jim was anxious, so was Spock.

“The shuttle is disembarking now, Captain,” an Ensign declared as they entered the bay.

“Thank you, Ensign,” Jim replied.

The new crew members began walking off the ramp and toward Spock and the captain. He noticed Jim was tense around the shoulders and wondered about it but there was no time to query him about it now.

And then he saw her. Carol Marcus. She wore the newer style of the science blue uniform dress, her blond hair was longer than it had been before, and she had a bright smile on her face.  Spock clenched his fists.

She headed straight for the captain, too, bypassing all the other checkpoints the rest of the new crewmembers were required to do before reaching them.

“Jim!” she exclaimed, embracing the captain. “It’s so wonderful to see you again.”

“Hello, Carol,” Jim replied with an easy smile. “Welcome back to the crew.”

“I’m thrilled to be here.” She turned her gaze to Spock, the warmth she had for Jim, fading instantly. “Commander. I wasn’t sure you’d be here.”

“Oh?”

“There were rumors you were leaving Starfleet.”

“Obviously false,” Spock replied as he carefully moved between her and his captain. “I remain the first officer of the Enterprise as well as Captain Kirk’s husband.”

Carol’s eyes widened in shock, her mouth falling open. “Husband?”

Jim cleared his throat. “Yes. It’s very recent.”

“Well.” She shifted uncomfortably. ”Congratulations to you both.”

“The sentiment is appreciated,” Spock replied. “Please report to Ensign Patterson. He’ll have your quarters assignment.”

She smiled awkwardly and moved past them to where Ensign Patterson waited. Jim said nothing but he did raise both eyebrows at Spock, who pretended not to notice.

Much later, they returned to their temporary living arrangement on Yorktown. As soon as they were completely alone, Spock turned to Jim.

“Did you deliberately keep Carol Marcus’ return to the Enterprise from me?”

Jim sort of shrugged as he began to pull off his uniform shirt. “Maybe a little. You get a little weird about her.”

“I do not.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah, you do. You have since the beginning. And it’s bound to be worse now that you know we slept together.”

Spock bristled. “She likely thought you would again.”

“I doubt that. And don’t you dare get all uppity about that. You used to sleep with Uhura and she’s still a member of my crew.”

“That is different.”

His husband rolled his eyes as he tossed his shirt in the hamper. His fingers went to the waistband of his trousers. “No, it’s not. This is just jealousy.”

“Have I reason to be jealous?”

Jim removed his pants.  “No. I only have eyes for you, honey. And every other part of me.”

Spock relaxed. Besides it was difficult to maintain his ire when Jim was stripping naked in front of him. Of course, Spock knew he was doing it deliberately, and still he allowed it to have the desired effect. A naked Jim was something Spock found impossible to resist.

“I still think she thought she would have you again,” Spock declared with a haughty sniff.

“Even if she did, she doesn’t stand a chance.” Jim walked over to him then, in all his completely naked glory.

Spock seized him. “Indeed. Because you are mine.”

Jim kissed him. “Oh, baby, you know it.”

Flash Fic Friday, March 03, 2017

My Prompt was a Walk in the Moonlight. This takes place immediately after the events of Star Trek: Beyond

kirky

“So I guess this is supposed to simulate moonlight,” Jim commented as he and Spock walked along a path on Yorktown.

“For what purpose?” Spock inquired, hands linked behind his back.

“To appear romantic I guess.” He shot a quick glance at Spock. “Not that we’re trying to be romantic or anything.”

Spock appeared to dismiss that bit of silliness without further thought. “As this is a space station, there would be no moonlight, so to produce artificial moonlight for aesthetic purposes is highly illogical.”

“Okay, Spock.”

“Furthermore I have never quite understood Terran fascination for moonlight. It is merely the reflection of light from the sun and there are no magical properties.”

Jim nodded wearily. “Okay, Spock.”

“Are you all right, Captain? You seem particularly out of sorts.”

“Just tired I guess. You can go back to doing whatever it was you were doing. Mission reports. Or-or, you know, socializing with Uhura.”

“Since you have just barely recovered from your recent engagement with Krall, I suspect you would benefit from additional respite.”

Jim sighed and stopped to lean against a pillar, gazing up at the artificial moonlight. “It’s just the last few hours of my birthday, I wanted a little walk. But I guess you’re right. Walking on Yorktown isn’t quite what it would be on Earth or some other similar planet.”

“What has happened to the doctor?”

And Jim tried not to think that Spock was attempting to push his pathetic captain off on Bones, but really, it did seem like that.

“Called away on a medical emergency. Really, Spock. It’s fine. You can go.”

Spock took half a step closer. “Does it hurt?”

Jim knew by the slight shift of Spock’s shoulders toward his eye that he meant his black eye. “Just a little. I’ve had worse. How about you? How do you feel?”

“I am fully recovered.”

“I doubt that.”

“I assure you, Captain, I am functioning at optimal levels.”

He smiled a little. “That’s good to know.” He paused. “I think…I’m procrastinating, of course.”

“Procrastinating?”

“I need to call my mother. Today isn’t only my birthday.”

“I understand,” Spock said with a sharp nod. “Unfortunately, it is not something I can assist you with, Captain.”

“Yeah, I know.” He moistened his lips. “She cries. Even after all this time.”

Spock said nothing to that, he just looked vaguely uncomfortable. And who could blame him? So was Jim.

“I will leave you to it.”

Jim nodded and watched as Spock, shoulders stiff, began to walk away, away from the fake moonlit path. “Spock?”

He stopped. Turned. “Yes, Captain?”

“We’re-we’re friends, right?”

“Indeed.”

“Because lately, I don’t know, we seem to have drifted away from that a little.”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged. “I apologize for my part in distancing us.”

“No, it’s all right.” He straightened from the pillar. “Just…I really don’t want to be alone right now, so, do you think, even though it’s fake and all, you might just walk a little further with me?”

For a moment, Jim was sure Spock would refuse his pathetic, whiny request. But then he returned to Jim’s side.

Spock gestured to the path. “Shall we?”

Jim smiled and fell into place next to his first officer.

Flash Fic Friday January 27, 2017

I’m going with sad this week. I still feel crappy and I’m feeling sorry for myself, so therefore, so is Jim. My challenge was Bones, a Birthday and a Malfunctioning Tricorder.

tumblr_oejercgd9z1rnsdhso1_500

We were getting a rare bit of shore leave. And on Risa, of all places. But I didn’t feel at all happy about it. Partying hard was the last thing I wanted. More like drowning in my own sorrow.

I took my rotation and made my way down there. I spotted my favorite Risan bar right away. It was ridiculously crowded and not at all what I wanted. So I turned away to seek another establishment.

I was surprised to see Spock beaming down as he always told me he didn’t need shore leave. So surprised I invited him on instinct.

“Mister Spock. Surprised to see you here.”

“Indeed, Captain.”

“I’m about to go sit and have a drink. Want to join me?”

He hesitated for the barest of maybe ten seconds, but his gaze moved beyond me to where I noticed, for the first time, Uhura stood waiting. She had changed into a blue dress with a deep vee, exposing an ample amount of her breasts. The dress had a handkerchief hem and reached down to about the middle of her calves. She had little matching blue slippers on her feet. She wore her long hair loose. She looked pretty. Ready to take on the pleasures of Risa.

Spock glanced back at me. “Nyota and I have plans to attend the concert in the garden courtyard. You are welcome to accompany us.”

I’d rather eat boiled slugs. But I made myself smile and shake my head. “Nah, that’s okay. You go ahead. Enjoy the concert.”

He inclined his head but then said nothing further as he quickened his pace to join her. She linked her arm with his and they continued walking in the direction of the garden center.

For a brief time I had thought…but no. Bones had said there had been trouble between them during the Krall incident. But whatever it had been had obviously been resolved.

And really, it was not my business. It never would be.

I turned away from the sight of them and kept walking until I found myself a fairly quiet bar. I sat at the far end of the bar counter and ordered myself two whiskey sours.

“Two drinks when you’re drinking alone is not good.”

I glanced at my best friend and smiled. “How’d you find me?”

Bones took the seat next to me. “Followed the smell.”

“Ha.”

He gestured to the drinks the bartender had set before me. “What’s up?”

“It’s his birthday, you know.”

Bones frowned. “Who’s?”

I stared at the drinks, left them untouched for now. “Sam.” I picked one up and swirled it in the glass. “Or was.”

Bones was quiet for a while. Then he said, “I’m real sorry about your brother and his wife.”

“I hadn’t seen him in years.” And yet his loss still hurt.

“Have you heard from your nephew?”

And that was weird, wasn’t it? Having a nephew but no brother.

“This was his favorite drink.” I took a sip.

“You’re ignoring the question.”

“I haven’t. It’s difficult with him being on Earth. And Aurelan’s parents are raising him now.”

I heard the low whine of the tricorder Bones held in his hand as it scanned me.

“Bones.”

“Damn fool thing. According to this, you’re dead.”

I smiled slightly. “I guess you need a new one. Unless I am.”

“You aren’t. And I’m going to see it stays that way.”

I pushed the other whiskey sour toward Bones. “Have a drink with me for Sam.”

He picked it up and we clinked glasses, both taking a sip.

“I resented him, you know. For leaving.”

“I can imagine.”

“Mostly because he got away.” I swallowed heavily. “He never had to go to Tarsus either.”

“No,” Bones agreed.

“But he went to Deneva.” I sighed. “Birthdays suck.”

“Yeah.”

I finished the drink, letting it burn down my throat and then pinched the bridge of my nose. “God, this is a shitty day.”

“Want me to get Spock?”

I laughed. “For what? So he can parade his girlfriend in front of me? No thanks. I think I’m just going back to the ship and sleep for twelve or fourteen hours.”

As I rose, he put his hand on my upper arm. “You’re depressed.”

I snorted. “You think?”

“I’m concerned, goddamn it.”

“I’ll be fine, Bones.”

“Jim—”

I hugged him then, because at the moment it really felt as though he was the only one who cared. Stupid and wrong, I knew. But even still.

“Why can’t I love you instead?” I whispered.

He shook his head. “I wish I knew. Life doesn’t work that way.”

I nodded and pulled away. “Not for me. I do love you.”

Bones paused, his eyes becoming very sad. He nodded, then looked away. “I love you, too, kid.”

I looked at the now empty glasses on the bar. “Happy Birthday, Sam.”

Flash Fic Friday, January 20, 2017

My prompt for this week was a stupid argument, a new star system, and bonus points for a scorching kiss. I decided to use my ongoing Jim & Spock from my One-Shot Collection, Part 5 who are in the beginnings of their couplehood. Oh and probably NSFW.

startrekpinequinto

“Hey.”

Jim scowled as Bones nudged him with the toe of his boot under the table. “Hey yourself. What do you want anyway? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Bones looked pretty much unaffected by Jim’s sour mood. “You’re on your PADD, ignoring a gloopy mess that passes for oatmeal like most mornings. What’s different?”

“We’re supposed to investigate a new star system.”

His friend shrugged. “So? We’ve done that before. Why the grouchfest?”

“It’s nothing.” Jim reached for his coffee and took a sip. He put it back down with a grimace when he realized it was cold.

Bones tapped his fingers on the table. “Where’s lover boy?”

“Who?”

“Mister Pointy.”

Jim grunted.

“Your first hobgoblin.”

Jim returned his attention to his PADD. “How would I know that?”

“Aren’t you two doing the nasty?”

“No. I told you before we haven’t done it. There’s always something that happens. He gets hurt. I get hurt. There’s a red alert. Uhura needs him to write music. Whatever.”

“Far be it for me to want to even imagine anything between you two, but Jim sometimes you just have to make time.”

“It doesn’t matter now. I don’t think we’re ever going to do it at this point.”

Bones frowned. “Should I ask?”

“Spock’s just a big stupid jerk.”

“Uh-oh.”

Jim just shook his head and continued reading about the new star system.

After a minute, Bones cleared his throat. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Hardly paradise. And yeah, you could say that.”

“You didn’t break up, did you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I flounced out of his quarters last night and I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

“You had a fight.”

Jim nodded.

“Do I want to know what about?”

“It was stupid.”

“Aren’t they all?” Bones smirked, but there was no malice behind it. His eyes were sympathetic. “Details?”

Jim blew out a breath. “He never gets jealous.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Well, yeah. I mean the Chancellor’s daughter was all over me on that last planet, she even kissed me. Which Spock witnessed, by the way. And nothing.”

“So, it is a bad thing?” Bones smiled. “Maybe he just trusts you, Jim.”

“I asked him if it bothered him that I flirt and he said no. I asked him if it bothered him that I cheated when she kissed me. He said he doesn’t consider kissing cheating. Which led me to believe he’s been going around my back kissing others.”

“Um, what?”

“If he doesn’t consider it bad, it’s because he wants to do it himself, right?”

“That’s some bizarre logic.”

“That’s what he said. Then I asked him if it would bother him if I actually had sex with someone else.”

“Lord save me.”

“His answer was a very calm, ‘have you?’ Just like that, in this total robotic voice.” Jim refrained from growling but barely. “I said, ‘no.’”

“And?”

“He said then this was a completely pointless conversation.”

Bones sorted of nodded. “He had a point.”

“Don’t start with me, Bones. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am.”

“That’s when I left his quarters.”

“Flounced,” Bones reminded him. “Jim, you aren’t going to like what I have to say.”

“When do I ever?”

“True,” Bones replied. “Maybe Spock is just what you need.”

“Excuse me?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Jim, it seems like Spock intends for you to have a mature, healthy relationship that doesn’t include a bunch of games. You ought to try it sometime.”

Jim opened his mouth and then closed it.

“You’ve never had a real, healthy relationship built on trust and love have you?”

“Well.

“Yeah, well. Games about whether Spock’s jealous if you flirt or kiss someone or imply you slept with someone, it’s all bullshit. Do you really want to lose Spock over something that stupid or do ya, I don’t know, wanna grow up?”

His communicator chirped.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.”

Jim flipped open his communicator. “Kirk here.”

“Klingon Bird of Prey on approach, sir.”

Jim was already out of his seat. “Go to red alert, Mr. Sulu.”

****

Jim was exhausted and sure he could sleep on his feet as he entered his quarters after the battle. He’d fallen out of his chair at one point and banged his head pretty good. Even got a cut across his brow. But Bones had fixed it, in between dealing with more serious injuries. There were casualties, nine altogether, which wasn’t horrible, really, but still more than Jim wanted.

He eyed the bathroom door and tried to decide if he wanted to take a shower or if he wanted to just fall right into bed.

He turned toward the bed when his door chimed.

Probably some update from the battle, so he should probably get it.

“Open.”

When Spock stepped in, Jim was not prepared to see him. They’d worked together during the Klingon Battle. Spock had even pulled Jim up after he’d fallen out of his chair and hit his head. But they’d both been busy and hadn’t had time to talk or have alone time. And suddenly their argument came crashing down on Jim. Inexplicably, Jim’s gaze went to the pinky ring Spock had gifted him with at Christmas.

Or maybe not so inexplicable.

He recalled during their fight, just before he’d flounced out, he had twisted it on his finger and shot out, “Do you want this back?”

The weight of his ugliness from that argument was a lot to bear.

“Spock—”

Suddenly Spock moved, pushing him hard against the bulkhead in his quarters. He had Jim trapped between his two muscular arms that slammed against the wall. Jim’s eyes widened in shock.

“I demand to know now if your intention is for a fully committed relationship between us.”

Jim licked his lips. “Well I—”

“Now, Captain.”

In any other circumstances, meaning if Spock didn’t look just like he had before he’d choked Jim to within an inch of his life, Jim would have found humor in how Spock insisted on calling him captain in such an intimate situation. Just now with his heart pounding, he was anything but amused. Fucking turned on was more like it. Yeah, he had no shame.

“Yes.”

Spock arched a brow, even as his dark gaze lowered to Jim’s lips. “Yes what?”

“Yes, I’m fully committed.”

Those dark eyes rose and met his eyes. The room was still charged with that same intensity between them right before Nero.

Jim opened his mouth, prepared to say more, but then Spock’s lips were on his, unexpectedly kissing him, no devouring him, and as Jim gasped, the Vulcan’s tongue thrust in, tangling with his like a sensual sword fight.

If Spock wasn’t trapping him there, Jim would have fallen to his knees. He was instantly, achingly hard.

Please.

Spock’s fists clenched the top of his uniform shirt and, with fucking hot strength that made lust pool Jim’s belly, he ripped it down the middle then quickly discarded the remnants of Jim’s shirt. He had dozens in his closet to replace it.

Spock, eyes blazing hot, looked down at Jim’s boots. “Why are you still wearing those?”

“Because I—”

“Silence, you are not to speak.”

Jim snorted. “You asked me a—”

Spock slapped his hands over Jim’s mouth.

Jim tried to be affronted, but really, his dick was just too hard.

 

  • You can read more of this scene, in other words full sex, on A03, in the near future.

The Perfect Partner, Conclusion

Seems I managed to finish this after all. 

“Got all your supplies, Bones?” Jim asked, coming up behind his friend as he conducted inventory.

“Looks like they’re here.” Bones straightened from his squat. “You going back to the ship?”

Jim turned his head to view the beaches in the distance. He’d allowed some of the crew to have a few hours shore leave on Tambian 3. They couldn’t afford the time for a lengthy leave but twelve hours was better than nothing.

“I think I’m going to hit the beach for a bit.”

Bones studied him. “Want company?”

Jim hesitated. He didn’t want to hurt Bones’ feeling but he wanted to be alone to think. “Next time,” he told his friend. “I think I need some solitude.”

Bones nodded. “All right then.”

He was grateful Bones didn’t say he could get solitude on the Enterprise. Besides Jim wasn’t even sure that was true.

“Thanks, Bones.”

“And what do I do if Spock asks where you are? Tell him I don’t know?”

Jim shook his head. “No, you can tell Spock. No one else though.”

His friend smirked. “You want to be alone unless it involves Spock.”

“Bones—”

“Save it, Jim. You’ve been hung up on that Vulcan since he stood up, tugged down his uniform and walked up to the podium to accuse you of cheating.”

Jim laughed. “Well…maybe not that long.”

“Yes that long.”

Jim smiled. “See you soon?”

“Yeah, go on. Get out of here. Captain.”

It took about half an hour to make it down to the beach from his location. There wasn’t anyone around this particular section of the beach for which Jim was happy. The planet’s sun was already going down and there was a slight chill to the air but Jim didn’t mind.

He took off his boots and socks, he hated socks, but the boots were uncomfortable without them, and rolled up his pants to the knee so he could go wade in the cold ocean water.

He stood there, staring down at the water rushing his feet and the sand between his toes for he didn’t even know how long.

After a while, he turned his head and couldn’t miss the Vulcan coming down the beach toward him. Jim smiled. He should have known Spock would show up. Bones knew it too.

“Captain?”

“Hi Spock.”

Jim was torn between making Spock come to him and not making Spock traipse through the water. He was pretty sure Spock wouldn’t want to get his boots wet and there was almost no chance he’d take them off to wade.

Finally Jim walked over to where Spock stood, safely away from the water.

“You are unwell?”

“Nah. I’m fine. Just thinking.”

Spock’s gaze went over his head for a moment out to the sea, then it returned to Jim’s face. “If I made you uncomfortable with our earlier activities, I apologize.”

“What…the daddy stuff?”

Spock’s cheeks were dusted slightly green.

“Spock, I don’t care if we fuck while dressed up as a ballerina. It’s all good as far as I’m concerned.”

Spock’s brows furrowed. “Would that be you dressed as a ballerina or me?”

Jim smiled. “Whichever. The point is, sex with you, whatever form it takes, is at the top of my list of really fantastic things.”

“You have a list?”

“Totally.”

Spock was silent for a moment and Jim could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “You are pensive. Is there something else I have done to cause you dismay?”

“No.”

Spock exhaled slowly. “There is something, Jim. I feel your distance when we touch.”

Jim blinked at him in surprise. “With what we just did, you think I’m distant?”

“Not there,” Spock said softly. His hand went to cover Jim’s heart. “Here.”

“Spock,” Jim whispered. “You know I love you, right?”

Spock actually trembled. “I suspected the possibility existed but it is nice to hear confirmation.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“Here’s what I would want in a perfect partner. I’d want a telepath because it’s completely amazing to be so attuned to someone. I’d want him to be fully human, because then he’d completely understand me and my emotions. I’d want him to be completely gorgeous with soulful dark eyes. I’d want him to love me with all that he is. And I’d want him to agree with me 100% of the time. There’d never be disagreements or misunderstandings or confusion. Because he knew I was always right.”

Spock did not respond immediately and Jim could see that he was processing the things Jim had said.

“Jim.”

“Spock?”

“Of the five things you have mentioned, as I understand them, only three of those apply to me.”

Jim covered the hand that still rested on Jim’s chest with his own. “That’s right. You’re a telepath and you’re completely gorgeous with soulful dark eyes.”

“And I love you with all that I am,” Spock whispered.

Jim had to kiss him after that, leaning in to kiss those totally kissable lips.

“But then I am not the perfect partner for you.”

“Actually, yes, you are.”

“But I am not human nor do I agree with you all the time and in fact there are many times your emotions confuse me.”

“But see, Spock, I don’t really want perfect. I actually love the fact that I confuse you and you can’t figure me out sometimes and it frustrates you. Sure there are times when I wish you gave into your human side more often, but I think your Vulcan side is pretty fucking fantastic and I adore the fuck out of it and you. I can’t imagine anything more boring than someone who always agrees with me and thinks I’m right all the time. Hell, on the surface it sounds great, but the actual execution of it would be beyond freaky. You challenge me in ways no one else does or ever could.”

Spock’s other hand now came up to wrap around Jim’s waist and pull him very close.

“You aren’t perfect, Spock, except you are perfect for me. See?”

“This is because of what I said to you during my compromise under the effects of the pollen, is it not?’

Jim nodded. “It’s what got me thinking about it.”

“Ashayam, I do not wish you to be anything other than what you are.”

“I know,” Jim assured him with a smile. “It’s just…I’ve spent a lifetime trying to be what others want me to be.”

“I am fairly certain you cannot alter yourself to become pregnant or Vulcan.”

“Any more than you can become more human,” Jim agreed. “I love you. And I’m sorry I haven’t said it before. I’ve felt it for a long time.”

Spock’s hand moved from Jim’s chest up to cup Jim’s jaw. “You are my heart. My soul. I would do anything for you. All things. I would die for you. I would kill for you. All for you. And I regret that I ever gave you reason to doubt that you are utterly perfect in my eyes.”

Jim’s eyes got misty. “There go those illogical, confusing emotions on full display.”

“Indeed,” Spock murmured. “We still have some time before we have to leave orbit of Tambian 3.”

“We sure do.” Jim pulled away but then grabbed Spock’s hand. “Come on.”

“Jim? Where are we going?”

“To the water.”

“The water? It is cold and wet.”

“Why, yes, Spock. Yes it is.” He grinned. “You could take off your boots.”

“Then my feet would get colder and wetter.”

“Indeed.” Jim arched a brow like he had seen Spock do so many times. “Come on, Babe. Live a little.”

Spock replied with a long suffering sigh, but he bent down to remove his boots and then his socks. “Very well.”

“Very well…Captain.”

Spock yanked him forward for a kiss. “Very well, Captain.”

 

Where My Demons Hide, Chapter 4

star-trek-beyond-trailer-2-captain-kirk-chris-pine-and-bones-karl-urban-drink

“Are you sure about this, Jim?”

“Well.” Jim shrugged as he bent down to check his luggage. “Spock wants to.”

“That’s it? Spock wants you to.”

“Good of reason as any.” Jim tried a smile.

“Jim—”

“Bones, it’s fine.”

“Your mental state—”

“Is fine.” Jim squeezed Bones’ arm. “I swear, Bones. It’s all good.”

Spock suddenly appeared at his side in the shuttle bay. “Is there a problem, Captain?”

He had to smile at the softly spoken ‘captain’. A genuine smile. He figured he would never break Spock of the habit of calling him by his title and for some reason it was more endearing than it should be.

“No problem. Bones was just saying goodbye.”

Spock turned to Bones. “Doctor, I trust you will have a restful time while we are on New Vulcan.”

“Yeah, restful,” Bones muttered. “You got all the hypos I’m sending with you?”

“Yep.”

“Sunscreen?”

“Yep.”

He eyed Spock. “And you have all the hypos I’m sending with you in case he loses the ones I’m sending with him?”

“Hey,” Jim protested. “I totally won’t.”

“Yes, doctor. I have everything. He will not come to harm.”

Bones seemed unconvinced judging by his grimace, but he pulled Jim into a quick embrace. Jim patted his back gently and then pulled away.

“I’ll let you know when I’m there.”

“You’d better.”

Jim turned to go up the ramp for the shuttle.

“Spock, you have a minute?” Bones asked.

Jim stopped. He frowned as he turned around.

Bones waved at him. “It’s nothing, Jim. Just need a moment with Spock.”

Jim didn’t like it but there wasn’t much he could do about it. So he sighed and turned to go into the shuttle.

 

Spock noticed the grim lines around Jim’s mouth as they made their way to his father’s house which would be their home for the next month. He had been talking animatedly the entire way from Earth to New Vulcan, but he’d grown quiet ever since they landed and went through a bit of New Vulcan on their way to Sarek’s.

“My father could not be here for our arrival but will come later to have dinner with us,” Spock explained. He used the code his father had given him to access the house.

Once inside the home, Spock said, “My father is aware of our change in status and had assumed we would share a room, however, if you would prefer separate accommodations, I am certain that can be arranged.

Jim smiled faintly. “Sharing with you is fine, Spock. In fact, it’s preferable.”

Spock nodded and led Jim toward the room his father had advised would be theirs for the duration of their stay. It was a simple room with a bed big enough for both of them, a closet to hang their clothes and a dresser for anything they might want to place in drawers. There was a single window, facing away from the sun.

“This is nice.”

“It was…”

Jim cocked his head. “What?”

“This was the room Ambassador Spock occupied while staying on New Vulcan,” Spock said quietly.

Jim came to where Spock stood in the middle of the room. He placed his hands on Spock’s biceps. “I’m sorry. We can request another place to stay, maybe?”

Spock shook his head. “My father would think that illogical. It is only a room and does not contain his presence.”

Jim moved one of his hands to Spock’s jaw. “I guess I really didn’t think how much this affected you. I’ve been in my own little world.”

Spock leaned into Jim’s touch. “My concern has been with you.”

“Me?” Jim gave him a quizzical look. “Why?”

“You are melancholy.”

“Despite what everyone thinks I’m really not some sort of laughing doofus.”

“I never imagined such a thing.”

Jim sighed. “I know. The point is, I would like to think I’ve matured a bit and I can be serious.”

“Not too serious, I hope.” Spock gazed into his eyes. “The loss of Mr. Chekov weighs heavily on you.”

“On everyone.” Jim shook his head. “What did Bones want?”

“To charge me with your care.”

“My care? Jesus. I actually can take care of myself you know. I don’t need a nursemaid.”

“No. However, is it so terrible to have those around you wish to ensure your safety and welfare?”

Jim’s mouth thinned. “When put like that you make me sound like an asshole.”

“Never that. Dr. McCoy’s concern for you is admirable and appreciated.”

Jim pushed closer into Spock’s personal space. Spock found he did not mind. “Did you want to ask your dad about moving rooms?”

“Negative. It is only for our stay and I am certain my father thought it was the best choice for us.” Spock slid his arms around Jim’s waist. “You are tense. What is bothering you?”

Jim shook his head and was already opening his mouth in denial.

“Jim.”

“It’s just…they really do need so much help here. I’m—it’s selfish of me to want you to stay with me and I know it.”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged quietly. “But I find that I want you to be selfish.”

“Spock—”

“I will do what I can from the Enterprise. My place is by your side.” Spock turned Jim around so that his back was to Spock. He put his hands on Jim’s shoulders and began to massage the muscles there.

“Mm. That feels great.”

“I am glad you approve.”

“I do.” Jim sighed softly. And before Spock could stop him, Jim stepped away and gently pushed Spock to sit on the edge of the bed. “Let me show you.”

“Jim—”

“Shh. It’ll feel good, I promise.” Jim knelt on the bed behind Spock and he began to attack Spock’s own tense muscles with rigor. “Feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” Spock agreed. “But it was my intention to massage you.”

“You can do that another time,” Jim said easily. “Right now I want you to feel good.”

It was on the very edge of Spock’s mind that there was something not quite right about all of this, but Jim’s hands on his neck, shoulders, and back felt so good, Spock closed his eyes and let the relaxed feeling push away any negative thoughts.

Spock did not know how long Jim continued to massage him but eventually he became aware he was laying on his back on the mattress and Jim was undoing his trousers.

“Jim?”

“It’s all right. I’m just here to give you pleasure,” Jim assured him as Spock felt Jim’s callused fingers pull his cock and balls out from his pants.

Spock jolted in shock when Jim’s hot mouth encircled the tip of his penis. The sensation was unlike anything he had ever felt before. His sexual life with Nyota had been satisfactory but not altogether inspiring. As Jim deep-throated him, Spock could not stop a keening cry from escaping his lips. Then he yelped, there was no other logical word for it, when he felt Jim’s slicked finger push inside Spock’s hole as he continued to expertly suck Spock’s erection.

“Jim,” he gasped, clutching at Jim’s head desperately as his whole body seemed alight with tiny shocks of electricity. His fingers threaded into Jim’s beautiful hair as his hips seemed to rise up of their own free will, pushing himself further within Jim’s talented mouth.

The finger pushed further and Jim swallowed around Spock and he was lost. He knew he shouted, Vulcan words of ancient origin, as he came, filling his captain’s mouth. He had a moment of gratitude that his father was not home for Spock knew he could not have been quiet.

Jim released him with a sort of slippery sounding pop and his finger eased out of Spock’s entrance with an astounding gentleness. Spock could only look upon Jim with wonder.

Jim smiled. “I’d better clean up.”

“Wait.”

“For what?”

Spock blinked, taking a moment to catch his breath. “I-I wish to reciprocate.”

“Oh.” Jim shook his head but he was grinning. “No worries. Your dad will be home soon, right?”

“Yes,” Spock replied reluctantly.

“I don’t want to be in the middle of anything.”

“I am certain there is time.”

“No way. I don’t want to come out of the room and greet him just after having sex. What an impression.” Jim smirked. “It’s fine.” He slipped into the bathroom off the bedroom.

Spock sat up and adjusted his own clothing. He would have to clean up as well.

But the alarm he felt over Jim’s behavior had increased tenfold. Clearly Spock was inadequate to fulfill Jim’s need

Where My Demon Hides, Chapter 3

tumblr_oabvgj8tn61qb3lvjo2_1280-2

“Jim?” Spock’s voice had an urgency to it that thrilled Jim.

“Yes, do it.”

Long, elegant fingers pushed inside him, slick with lubricant. He buried his face in the pillow on the bed, biting it when Spock bit him, sharp teeth sinking into that fleshy part just below the back of his neck.

Fingers withdrew and Spock rose above him, pushing inside with a long drawn out groan.

Jim gripped the sheets, digging his fingers into the mattress as Spock fucked him hard and deep. The pleasure was there. His hard, sensitive cock pressed helplessly against the bed, the friction almost maddening in its intensity. The slide of Spock’s cock against his prostate. He was so close even without hand stimulation. Jim closed his eyes.

Spock groaned and stiffened above him, emptying inside Jim, even as the tips of his finger pressed into the skin of Jim’s hips. Spock rode out his orgasm, pumping over and over into Jim.

And then Spock collapsed. His weight on Jim almost crushing the breath from him.

Jim sighed as Spock withdrew from him. With a shake of his head, he sat up in the bed, rubbing his hand over his forehead and hair.

Spock sat up also. “Jim, if you will lie back down I will—”

“I’m good.” Jim smiled and patted Spock’s bare thigh. “I gotta go to the bathroom though. Be back.”

“Jim—”

Jim was already standing. He frowned down at Spock. “What?”

Spock hesitated and then shook his head. “There is nothing.”

Jim smiled again and headed to his bathroom, picking up his discarded clothes as he went. Once inside he closed the door and engaged the lock as he willed his erection to go away.

You’re nothing. Just a vessel. You just lie there and take it like the bitch you are. That’s right, you’re here to pleasure me. You get nothing. Nothing. You’re my toy, my plaything.

Jim sucked in a breath and blocked out the voice.

For a while it was almost impossible. And then it got easier. Almost effortless.

Then when he spoke to his mom the other day—

Well…they released him.

He probably won’t bother you.

“Jim?”

Spock from directly outside the bathroom door.

“Are you unwell?”

“No. Coming out now.” Jim scrambled into his clothes, splashed water on his face, and came out of the bathroom with a smile.

Spock had pulled on the sleeping robe he’d worn the prior night when he had slept over in Jim’s apartment. Good. That meant he was staying. Jim didn’t want to be alone. He hated sleeping alone. Did it all the time. Still hated it.

“Time for sleep?”

Spock inclined his head but Jim saw the hesitation again, the doubt, and Jim tried very hard not to give into the panic. Was Spock already regretting them?

Jim walked past him to the bed and pulled back the covers. He looked over his shoulder at Spock, afraid of what he’d see there. But Spock just looked like Spock as he approached the bed and got in next to Jim.

It was Spock who ordered the lights off as Jim snuggled up to him.

****

“The Enterprise will be ready one month earlier than originally anticipated.”

Jim looked up from his PADD at Spock who had just emerged from the bedroom, showered and dressed in black slacks and a gray sweater. He held his own PADD in his hands.

“I was just reading that myself.” Jim reached for his coffee. “I made you tea.”

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock walked over to him and touched his fingers to Jim’s.

Jim smiled. “There’s cranberry orange scones, too.”

Spock picked one off the plate. “You purchased these, Captain?”

He laughed. “No. I made them.”

“I was unaware you baked.”

“I’m full of surprises, Mr. Spock.”

“Indeed.” Spock took his tea and scones and sat down beside Jim. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Since we leave for New Vulcan tomorrow, I need to meet with the admiralty. I’m afraid it’s going to last most of the day.”

Spock nodded. “Nyota has returned from visiting her family and has asked to meet me for lunch.”

“So things are okay still between you two?”

“It appears so.”

Jim’s PADD beeped there was a message. He looked down at it. His heart froze in his chest. For a moment all he could do was stare.

“Jim?”

“Um. I better get ready.” He stood up abruptly, knocking the chair over. “Sorry.” He picked up the chair and then his PADD, but it slipped from his nerveless fingers to the floor.

Spock picked it up, glancing at the screen. “What is this?”

“A rose. It’s nothing. Thanks.” Jim took the PADD, smiled at Spock, before leaning down to kiss him softly on the lips. “See you later?”

“Yes, Jim. I will be here when you return from your meetings.”

Jim headed for the door. “Lock up, will you?”

“I will.”

“Most secure code, okay?”

“As you wish.”

“Can’t be too careful. Been some robberies in this neighborhood.” This time Spock didn’t reply, so Jim slipped out the door and made his way to HQ.

****

“How are things between you and the captain?”

“I am uncertain,” Spock admitted, placing his menu down on the table.

“Uncertain? What’s wrong? You seemed happy when you first got together.”

“Jim is…not what I expected.”

Nyota picked up her coke and sipped it through the straw. “I don’t understand.”

“I do not either. He is holding himself back.”

“Well, that doesn’t totally surprise me. From what I know from Leonard, he hasn’t really done a relationship before. Maybe he doesn’t know how to act?”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged, “I am left always believing I am doing something wrong. It is unsettling.”

“You could talk to him?”

Spock nodded. “I suspect I will have to.”

“You’re not regretting anything, are you?”

“My own feelings? Negative. My regret is that I seem unable to be what it is he wants or needs me to be.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Spock.” She put her hand on his. “He’s always been a little closed off. Just try opening him a little more. New Vulcan might be just the place to try.”

Spock agreed as the waiter came to take their order.

Where My Demons Hide, Chapter 2

“You two had sex.”

“What?” Jim laughed. “You’re crazy, Bones.” God, he hoped he wasn’t blushing. He didn’t dare even glance at Spock. He just chose the seat directly across from Bones and sat down, noting out of the corner of his eye that Spock sat to Jim’s right.

“I may be crazy,” Bones allowed. “But you two still had sex.”

“No, we didn’t,” Jim insisted. He glanced around the relatively quiet restaurant, relieved no one seemed to be paying attention to Bones and his proclamations.

“You’re lying.” Bones was now pointedly looking at Spock. “What about Uhura?”

“Bones.”

“Nyota and I remain friends,” Spock replied from behind his menu.

Jim thought that was a pretty good idea and lifted his own in front of his face.

“You got any more of those tracking device rocks?”

“Bones, give it a damn rest,” Jim said sharply.

“Touchy tonight, aren’t we?” Bones said with a smirk. “So, anyway, what are you going to have, Jim?”

“The Beef Bourguignon.”

“Pretty good choice. The vegetarian choices begin on page three, Spock.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

Bones lowered his own menu. “Think I’m going to have the fried chicken. I decided to go see Jo in two days. You want to come with me?”

Jim set his own menu down and reached for the glass of water that was at his seat. “Actually I’ve already got plans for the next month or so.”

“Going to see your mom?”

Jim glanced at Spock who was still carefully perusing the menu. “No. Going with Spock to New Vulcan.”

“New Vulcan? You two aren’t getting secretly married or anything, are you?”

“Bones! Jesus. No. I swear to God I’m going to strangle you.”

Bones laughed. “Kidding, Jim. You really are touchy.”

“I invited the captain to New Vulcan so that he could assist me with some projects there,” Spock said, setting his menu down.

“Projects, huh?”

“Indeed. We will be there for a duration of one month. There will be no marriage ceremonies—secret or otherwise.”

“Good to know,” Bones said with a nod. “So, are you two a—”

“Bones.”

“What? I’m just asking. We’re friends. We serve together. It would be nice to know.”

“The captain and I are exploring a new aspect of our relationship.”

A waitress appeared at their table and they all ordered.

“A new aspect, huh?”

Jim sighed. ”You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Probably not,” Bones acknowledged. “The two of you are too much fun to tease.”

Jim’s communicator beeped. He frowned down at it. “I have to take this. Be back.”

He rose from his seat and walked away from the table.

****

Spock’s gaze followed Jim as he headed out in the direction of the restaurant’s foyer. There was something very wrong. He could see it in the set of the captain’s shoulders.

The doctor was chattering on about something, his visit to his daughter, Spock thought, but he only half listened. He was sure he gave the appropriate answers.

But when Jim still had not returned after more than fifteen minutes and their food arrived, Spock stood.

“Doctor, I am going in search of the captain.”

“Yeah, he is taking a long time. You want me to come along?”

“Not at present,” Spock replied.

When he reached the restaurant’s foyer there was no sign of Jim so he went to the hostess. “Did you see my companion pass through here?”

“Yes, sir. He went out those doors.”

Spock turned and exited through the doors she had indicated and found himself on the sidewalk at the back of the restaurant. He caught sight of Jim immediately. He was leaning against a wall, his hands covering his eyes. Spock increased his pace to reach Jim faster.

“Jim?”

Jim did not react at first, so Spock reached for his wrists to pull his hands away from his eyes. They were wet and red, obviously from crying. Alarm shot through Spock.

“Jim?”

“There-s-there’s been an accident,” Jim whispered. “Chekov—” He thrust his communicator at Spock.

Spock glanced down at the communicator but there was nothing there. Just Jim’s communicator. Spock’s gaze rose.

“He didn’t make it.”

Spock sucked in a breath. For a moment Jim swam in front of him, moving out of focus. Spock closed his eyes, forced control. There was an ache in his side that had not been there a moment ago. But he opened his eyes and refocused on Jim. Jim would need him.

“I grieve with thee,” he said softly, reaching for Jim. He was not sure what to do other than to embrace Jim as Nyota had done for him during moments of grief. Jim sagged against him.

“How am I supposed to get through this, Spock?”

“Together we will, Jim.” Spock held him tighter. “Together as always.”

“I can’t go back in there.”

“You do not have to. I will go and inform the doctor. Wait here.” Spock placed a chaste kiss on Jim’s forehead and went back into the restaurant to break the news to Leonard.

****

“What can I do for you?”

“You don’t have to stay with me, Spock,” Jim said from where he stood by the window of his apartment, looking out at San Francisco.

Spock did not bother to respond for of course he did have to stay with Jim. And he had a feeling Jim knew it too.

“Coffee?”

“No. I think it would just sour in my stomach right now.” Jim pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. “He was just a kid.”

“I know.” Spock went into the kitchen and brewed some tea, because he needed to do something. He was aware he was not very good at offering humans emotional comfort. He did try, but it was not something he had ever practiced. His mother had been very strong and though there were times when he thought he saw hurt in her eyes or a slip of her mask of strength, she continued to maintain the façade in front of both her husband and son. It often occurred to Spock how difficult it must have been for her with two Vulcans to subdue her emotional side.

When he came out of the kitchen with tea he saw that Jim had begun to shake. He had his arms wrapped around himself and he was trembling. Spock set the tea down and went to him, wrapping his own arms around Jim from behind and pulling him close.

“It’s unfair,” Jim whispered. “All that we went through. All that he went through and it-it ends like this.”

Spock once heard it said that death too no prisoners and he’d always thought it an odd saying. And it offered absolutely no comfort.

“He apparently did not suffer much,” Spock said softly. “It happened quickly.”

“I’ve-I’ve lost people. Lots of people. Why is this so damn hard? Why does it hurt this much?” Jim turned in his arms and buried his wet face in Spock’s neck.

“You were close to him. You spent time with his every day for years. We were all close. It is like the loss of a family member.”

“Yeah.”

“The best thing we can do is keep him in our memories and in our hearts. Yes?”

Jim nodded against him. “You’re right.” His hand twisted in Spock’s sweater. “It’s better with you here. I know I told you that you didn’t have to stay but…will you?”

“There is nowhere else I would be,” Spock assured him. “I made tea. If you would like some.”

“That sounds good.” But when Spock went to move away, Jim’s grip on his sweater tightened so Spock stayed where he was. Where he

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑