Story Related

Extra Flash Conclusion 07/07/2019

He entered his dark, empty quarters without any enthusiasm.

“Lights fifty percent.”

They came on instantly and even at fifty it seemed far too bright for his tired eyes.

“Dim lights to twenty-five percent.”

He stood in the middle of his quarters for a while, probably no more than minutes though, before finally deciding he could stand with a shower. His clothes were soiled with…with…

The door chimed and before he even thought about answering it, the door opened, and Spock stepped inside. He still wore his own soiled and messy uniform, and his eyes looked wider in his paler face than usual.

Jim stared at him, recognizing that his eyes were pooled with tears, but unable to do much about them.

“I promised his mother.”

“Captain?”

He blinked, dislodging a few tears with his lashes, feeling them wet his cheeks. “Ensign Styles. We…she was there, you know, when we picked him up when the Enterprise was ready to go out again. She told me to take care of him, make sure he returned safe.” Jim lowered his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t do that.”

“Jim.”

Spock was there in a second, less than, maybe, and he had his hands on Jim’s arms, on his forearms, holding him in place, but not tight, with complete and utter gentleness. He raised his gaze to Spock’s and what he saw there mirrored his own thoughts and feelings, somehow.

“Styles was not your fault and both he and his mother understood Starfleet service. There was nothing you could have done to save him from what occurred except perhaps leave him off the landing party and he desperately wanted to be on it.”

“I know, but I—”

Spock simply shook his head. His thumb came up to brush a tear off Jim’s cheek. “What did you dream of?”

“About us?”

“Yes.”

“It was stupid, really. And the only reason it really stands out was because it wasn’t a bad dream. A nightmare, you know? Which is what I have all the time. Not all the time, but—”

“Jim.” Spock shook him, but again, with extreme gentleness.

“It was you and me, just dancing, at a cotillion. Do you know what those are?”

Spock nodded.

“All dressed in old-fashioned clothes like you’d wear to one, I guess, and you were leading. I think I tried to, but you took over, whatever.” Jim smiled a little. “Then you moved us off the dance floor to the balcony outside and then we—”

“We?” Spock prompted.

Jim briefly closed his eyes, squeezing out a few more teardrops. He smiled again and opened his eyes. He put his hand up to Spock’s face. “We kissed. And kissed. It was…the best kisses of my life and it was all a damn dream, Spock. Then we started to remove our clothes, right there on the balcony, and then-then I woke up. And we went on the mission.”

“I see.”

Jim pushed away then, out of his hold, putting distance between them. “And now? I’m just dog-tired. Wiped out emotionally.” He shook his head, then frowned. “Was there something you wanted?”

Spock nodded. “Yes.”

“What?”

“You. To tell you that…I’m here for you. That I made a mistake walking away out in the corridor. But I won’t walk away like that. Not again.”

Jim swallowed and took a step closer. “I really need a hug.”

And he was even a little surprised when Spock stepped closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling Jim against him. It was kind of too snug and even kind of awkward. But it was the best damn hug he had ever felt. He closed his eyes and leaned into Spock.

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome, Jim.”

July 7, 2019

Extra Flash July 06, 2019

Jim wasn’t sure really, whether he should even mention it. In fact he was pretty sure he shouldn’t. He was wiped out, tired and sore, dejected, maybe, from getting his ass kicked, from losing two good crewmembers down on the surface of the planet. And they had families and lives separate from service to Starfleet, and one of the tasks Jim would have would be to write those families. He never knew what to say.

Spock looked wrecked too.

They’d been checked out by Bones, both of them, and they were fine, also, both of them. A few minor bruises and sore muscles. They’d refused further treatment and Bones hadn’t even yelled at them for it. Proof that his friend was feeling pretty crappy about everything too.

And why wouldn’t he? One of those dead was a medic from his own department. Jim saw the wateriness in Bones’ eyes before he tried to hide it.

So Jim stumbled a little as he stopped outside the door of Spock’s quarters, which came up first. Spock stopped too, because, of course, they had reached his rooms.

Jim turned to face his first officer, the words torn between being stuck in his throat and on the tip of his tongue.

“Spock, I…”

“Captain?”

“I dreamed of us last night,” he blurted out, before he could lose his nerve.

And he was greeted with that annoying head tilt and that blank expression that had made him want to rip those bangs off his forehead more than once.

“Doing what?”

Yeah, Kirk, doing what?

And just what was he going to say? Kissing and tearing each other’s clothes off? Breathing for each other?

“Nothing, Spock,” Jim replied.

“I do not understand.”

He forced a smile, tired and maybe sad, but a smile. “Never mind. It was just a dream. It’s nothing.”

Spock turned toward the door, stopped, turned back and looked at him. “Captain…”

“Yeah?”

“You did everything you could. No one could have done more. And the crew—”

“Yeah.” Jim nodded.

Spock returned the nod. “Goodnight, Jim.”

“Goodnight.”

“I hope you sleep well.” Spock turned then and went into his quarters and Jim continued onto his, alone.

July 6, 2019

I Will Follow You into the Dark, Chapter 4

“One thing’s for sure.”

“What’s that?” Jim eyes Bones, questioningly.

“I can’t believe it took you this long to see someone.” Bones sighed as he ran his medical scanner over Jim. “Never did have much sense.”

“It’s just a few contusions, Bones,” Jim said wearily.

He should have gone right to bed, really, but as he saw his mother off to her transport after dinner at Giuseppe’s, she made him promise he’d at least have Bones check him out. She was on her way again, back to her ship and her duties, and Jim had been lucky she’d been able to spare as much time as she had to see him.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” his friend grumbled.

The last few days he’d been surviving on adrenaline really. Certainly no sleep. But it was starting to catch up with him. He was leaning on Bones as his friend scanned him.

He’d been running around, crazy, ignoring all injuries since he and Sulu had made it down to Nero’s drill on Vulcan. It started there and got worse and worse. Now he was pretty sure half his inability to breathe properly was likely because he had some cracked ribs. The human body could only take so much, after all. And Jim’s could take more than most. Or he made himself anyway.

“That’s it, I’m checking you into the hospital.”

Jim blinked his eyes open and straightened. “What? Just from a couple of bruises and maybe a cracked rib or two?”

“Five cracked ribs, genius. And a cracked skull.”

“Huh?”

“That head of yours might be hard, but you’ve still managed to damage it. I want you in a hospital bed at least overnight so I can monitor you, and make sure you actually sleep. When was the last time, anyway?”

“Uh. The morning of the distress signal.”

“That’s what I thought. I don’t know how you’re still on your feet.”

“Sheer will,” Jim admitted.

“All that strangling damaged your larynx too. It needs rest. You need rest. Damn it, Jim.”

“I’m too exhausted to fight you, Bones. Do what you will with me.”

Bones shook his head. “You’ve got a wound on your left leg I don’t like the looks of, either.”

“Uh. Yeah. Monster number two.”

“What?”

Jim sighed. “You know, when Spock got pissed because I didn’t agree with his methods and decisions on the ship, he had me kicked off to Delta Vega.”

“I remember, yeah. Always did say he was an asshole, Jim.”

He waved wearily at that. “Anyway, the point is, there were these giant monster things there. The first one pretty much chased me around until I about had a heart attack, but the second one—”

“Monster number two.”

“Yeah. It managed to get a hold of my leg before Ambassador Spock got me away from it. It hurt. But I kind of have had to ignore it ever since.”

Bones stared at him silently for a while.

“What?”

“I don’t know.” Bones sighed. “There were just a few times you almost got killed thanks to him. And I know, he wasn’t himself.”

“He wasn’t. Bones, his whole planet was destroyed. He lost family, friends.”

“Uh-huh. So his reaction to that was to maroon the guy he’s supposed to love on some ice planet, possibly forever, if something happened to the Enterprise, or the space station on Delta Vega, and then when he finally gets that same guy, he’s supposed to love, back he tried to choke him to death.”

“Bones,” Jim whispered, shaking his head. He didn’t have the strength or even will-power to defend Spock just then. Wasn’t even sure he believed Spock deserved a defense.

“I’ll drop it for now,” Bones replied. He squeezed Jim’s shoulder gently. “Let’s get you admitted and into a hospital bed. Someone needs to take care of you and it looks like it’s going to be me.”

Jim smiled. A tired smile, but a smile nevertheless. Just as Bones began to help him down from the examination table, an ensign appeared.

“Oh. There you are, sir.” The ensign practically saluted.

“At ease,” Jim said, amused.

“Admiral Bennett would like to see you, sir.”

Bones snorted. “Admiral Bennett’s going to have to wait.”

The ensign looked shocked as he stared at Bones. “Sir?”

“Captain Kirk is being admitted to the hospital. You tell that to Bennett.”

“Bones, maybe I should—”

“Nope. Not this time, Jim. Doctor’s orders.” Jim nodded, took a step, then pitched forward onto the floor.

July 3, 2019

Yaoichan’s Birthday Flash

Happy Birthday Jamie!

The past…

Jim rested his hand on the round bump of his stomach. Swallowing down the bile that rose to his throat, he sat down heavily in the chair in their home…his home…on New Vulcan.

“Has passed away after a sudden illness.”

He said the words out loud three times before they did anything but sit on his tongue.

It could not be. How was he to do this? Raise a child he had never been sure if he could handle with Spock and now…

(The Present) Six years later…

“Father.”

“Hmm?” Jim leaned up to reach into the cabinet for the colander to drain the spaghetti he was making for them.

“There is a Vulcan at the door.”

Jim frowned and dropped down flat on his feet, colander momentarily forgotten. He turned to stare at his son, mussy dark hair, bright blue eyes and pointy ears.

“What?”

George sighed. “Didn’t you hear the doorbell?”

“No.” Jim turned off the heat under the boiling spaghetti. “Who is it?”

“A Vulcan.”

“Did he say his name?”

His son nodded. “He said to tell you that his name is Spock and that you once served on the Enterprise together.” George frowned. “He looks a little like those pictures you showed me of Sa-mekh. Younger.”

“Oh.” Jim swallowed and set the wooden spoon on the counter and walked out of the kitchen. Sure enough standing in the front hallway of their house in San Francisco stood his former first officer, Commander Spock. “Hey, Spock.”

Spock tilted his head. “Jim.”

George came close to Jim, so Jim put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Um. This is my son with um…”

“Yes. I surmised. He resembles you.” Spock paused. “And him.”

“Would you, um, like to stay for dinner?”

“We’re having spaghetti with mushroom marinara,” George said, eyeing Spock curiously.

“That does sound appealing.”

“And garlic bread.”

Jim smiled. “Yes. Is Uhura with you?”

Spock shook his head. “We are…no longer together.”

“I’m sorry.” He exhaled quietly. “Everything all right?”

“Yes, Jim.” Spock paused again. “I…wished to see you. I hope that is okay.”

Jim smiled. “Does that mean you’re staying for dinner?”

Spock nodded. “It does. Thank you.”

George stepped forward. “Want to see my toy starship?”

Spock bent down to look at the model George offered him. “I would, indeed.”

“I’d better put extra garlic bread on,” Jim announced. “George eats a lot.”

July 1, 2019

Flash Fic, June 28, 2019

The Crew knows (inspired by my own work meetings). This could be TOS or AOS honestly

“Oh, God, not the snorefest,” Havers complained to his friend, Phillips. “Every month we have this damn conference with the captain where he drones on and on about shit I just don’t care about. Once I tried to skip it and I got in trouble.”

Phillips snorted. “What I can’t stand is when he asks if there’s anything someone else wants to bring up because there always is. And usually it’s the commander. That monotone drives me nuts.”

“Or Mr. Scott going on about some stupid engineering stuff. You know when I was in the Academy I used to like that subject but he’s pretty much killed my interest in it.”

Phillips leaned against the wall in the corridor. “Then we’re subjected to an hour of Commander Spock gazing at Kirk like his words are drops of gold.”

Havers laughed. “You know why, don’t you?”

“Why?”

“They’re doing it.”

“Wow. Are they?”

Havers froze at the new voice. His stomach doing a sickening flip, he and Phillips turned to see the captain himself standing there together with Spock.

“Uh.”

“Perhaps it would be more produuctive to pay more attention to one’s duties, Ensign, then to participate in idle gossip,” Commander Spock said.

Havers straightened. “We’re both lieutenants, sir.”

Kirk smiled. “Are you?”

“S-sir?” he stammered, feeling his face heat.

Phillips took a step back. “Sorry, Captain. We’ll, um, we’ll get back to our duties.”

“That would be wise,” Spock said.

“Dismissed,” Kirk said curtly

As Havers went to turn around he saw Kirk and Spock exchange a look, with the Vulcan raising an eyebrow and the captain smirking. There were two things he knew for sure, next time he needed to make sure the corridor was clear, and yep, they were definitely doing it.

June 28, 2019

I Will Follow You into the Dark, Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They got a table at Giuseppe’s in the back of the restaurant, close to the kitchen, but Jim didn’t mind, because it had been where they’d sat before, all those years ago, and he was pretty sure his mom had done it on purpose.

“It’s been years since I’ve been here,” she declared as she picked up the menu. “I even wondered it if it was still here. Everything changes so fast. Are you going to have a drink?”

Jim thought about it but shook his head. “I think I’ll stick to iced tea or something. But head’s still really fuzzy and I’m so damn tired, I don’t think adding booze to the mix is a good idea.”

“Hmm. What did the doctor say, anyway?”

“You know.” Jim waved his hand vaguely.

She narrowed her eyes. “James Tiberius, are you lying to your mother?”

“Well. I’ve just been busy. And anyway, you can see that I don’t have severe injuries.”

“Except all those bruises around your neck.”

“Just a bit of soreness. What are you going to get?”

His mother sighed. “Do you know you’ve been like this since you were a tiny boy? Never did want me to tend to your boo-boos. And when you came back from Tar…that place, you didn’t want to deal with that either.”

“Lots of people came away from there a lot worse than I did.” Jim paused. “Or not at all.” He didn’t add her own husband being one of them.

After Sam left, and Jim lost the car over the cliff, Frank had taken Jim to Tarsus IV. He had a sister that lived there with her family. Eventually Jim’s mom was to join them there. It was supposed to be a new start for them, or so they’d all said. In the end, of the group of them, it had only been Jim and Frank’s sister’s son, Kevin, who got out alive. The rest perished at the direction of Kodos.

Mom got quiet for a moment, her gaze sliding over the content of the menu. The waitress arrived and Jim ordered iced tea and his mom coffee.

“Remember when we came here last? Well.” She paused. “Not the very last time. That was right after you returned and even then you wouldn’t eat much.”

Jim nodded.

“The time before that. It was you, me and Sam then.”

He smiled faintly. “Yeah. We got the biggest pizza they had and a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs.”

She laughed. “And garlic bread. Spumoni for dessert.”

“Sam threw a meatball at me.”

“Yeah.” Her gaze moved away, out to the rest of the restaurant. “Think he’s okay?”

“Sam?” Jim shrugged. “Maybe. He always did seem to land on his feet. He’s probably out there somewhere without ever a thought to us.”

“Mmm.” She put down her menu. “I think I’ll have the fettucine alfredo. All that cream sauce is terrible for me, but why not indulge? My baby is alive, and surely, that’s something to celebrate.”

He rolled his eyes at the baby. “I’m going for the spaghetti alla puttanesca.”

“Look at you, all fancy now. No more simple pizza for you.”

He laughed. “Well.”

After they ordered, his mom put her chin on her hand. “First time I came here was with your dad.”

“Yeah?”

“Ages ago, obviously. Back in our academy days, so we were babies then. And neither you nor Sam were even on our radar.”

“Bet you were cute.”

“George definitely was. When I first met him, he was seeing a classmate named Pamela Wenton. I hated her, of course.”

Jim laughed. “Of course.”

“Well, she had what I wanted. Or who.”

“I get it. I do. When I first met Spock he was dating Uhura.”

His mom snorted. “Oh, goodness. She was never right for him. He’s clearly interested in males.”

“Sure, but I am too.”

“Only males. I don’t know what that girl was thinking.”

“That he’s insanely hot and extremely fascinating.” Jim grinned.

“Yes, dear.” She patted his hand. “Obviously, the moment he laid eyes on you, he was a lost cause.”

Jim’s smile slipped. “Or was. I just…I really don’t know what to think.”

“I don’t know much, I suppose, Jim, but what I do know is that boy loves you. I can see it in his eyes. I recognize it because it’s just how I used to look at George. He’ll come around, honey. He will. Some things are just meant to be.” He tried to smile again, but it faltered a little, so he took a sip of tea, trying to ignore the burn in his throat as he swallowed.

June 26, 2019

Flash Fic, June 21, 2019

This one is based on Eveningstar’s Prompt, Jim is drunk and confesses his love to Bones, and Spock overhears.

“This sucks.”

“I know, Jim.”

Jim leaned against the wall of the hotel.

“Let’s just get you to your room, all right?”

“Being in love with someone who hates you sucks, Bones.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He hates me. He was going to leave the Enterprise.”

“To make Vulcan babies. And he stayed.”

Jim shook his head and then regretted it as the hall spun. “Not because of me. Because of her. They’re probably going to get married.”

He started to slip from the wall to the floor, but Bones held him up. “They broke up.”

“They’ll get back together,” Jim said, miserably. “They always do. Like a billion times. And I’ll be left with the usual broken heart.”

“Jim.” Bones stiffened. “Stop talking.”

“That’s easier for you to be so cold-hearted. You aren’t in love with Spo—”

“Jim. Be quiet.” Bones practically shook him.

Jim frowned at him and tried to push away from him only to suddenly be grabbed by—

“I’ll take control of him, doctor.”

Jim peered at him through hazy eyes. “Spock?”

“Yes, Captain. I’ve got you.”

“Listen, Spock, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Jim’s drunk and—”

“I am aware. Go back to the party, doctor. I will see that Jim is safely in his room and will sleep it off.”

“I don’t…fine. All right. But I’ll come by to check on you in the morning, Jim. With something for the hangover you are sure to have.”

Somehow the floor disappeared out from under him. He grabbed onto Spock’s shoulders to keep from falling and as they entered his hotel room, Jim realized that Spock had scooped him up bridal style.

“I can walk.”

“Barely.”

“You want me to walk while bare?”

“Perhaps another time. For now you will rest.”

Spock approached Jim’s bed and Jim put his hand on Spock’s face just as Spock appeared to be preparing to lower him to the mattress.

“You know, you’re beautiful.”

Spock’s mouth twitched. “Oddly enough I had the same thought.”

Jim nodded. “You think you’re beautiful too?”

“I think you are.”

“Where I come from, buddy, that’s a proposal.”

“You are from Iowa.”

“Oh.” Jim found himself deposited on the bed.

“You will be sleeping off your excessive alcohol. In the morning, we will be having a very long talk.”

“Submitting your resignation?”

Spock arched a brow. “No. I will get you some water, you will drink it, and then you will go to sleep. I will watch over you to see that there is nothing you need.”

Jim stared at him. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Spock walked away and over to little kitchenette sink in the hotel room. He returned with a glass of water.

“Drink.”

“I’m the captain,” he mumbled.

“Drink, Captain.”

Jim took a sip of the water. “Why?”

“I stayed for you.”

June 21, 2019

I Will Follow You into the Dark, Chapter 2 A Wee Bit Early

“That was fantastic!” His mother exclaimed as they walked out of the arena together. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jim smiled faintly. “Thanks.”

“I’m still pissed that they put you out there in the first place. What were they thinking?”

“That we were all they had, Mom. The majority of the fleet—”

“I read the report. And they lost a lot of promising young cadets too. It’s still run by a bunch of arrogant boys.”

“Mom.”

She sighed and reached to straighten his collar. “But a captain. And the Enterprise. That’s something else, isn’t it?”

“It sure is. It’s crazy, is what it is.” He grinned back at her. “I just hope I’m ready for all this.”

“I have no doubt that you are. Let’s go have a celebratory dinner. Right? You deserve it. My treat.”

Jim could not deny he was pretty hungry and it was nice to think someone wanted to spend time with him. All his friends had dispersed to do their own thing, whatever that was, they’d all been given some time off, so yeah, Jim got it, and then of course, Spock, well…yeah.

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

And just then walking down the corridor from where they stood, Jim spotted the older Spock from Delta Vega.

“Hey, Mom, you know there’s someone I need to talk to, can I catch up with you later for dinner?”

“Sure. I want to check on Amanda and Sarek anyway. Meet at Giuseppe’s later.”

“Great. Thanks, Mom.” He waved at her and ran after the old Vulcan. “Spock! Hey. Spock.”

Ambassador Spock turned to face him. “Jim! What an unexpected surprise.”

Jim nodded, breathless, waiting a moment to catch his breath. He hadn’t been breathing totally right since Nero’s ship. “Are you all right? You know. After everything?”

“I am as well as I can be, Jim.” Spock searched Jim’s face. “You are quite peaked. I would like to inquire after your health as well.” His gaze dropped to Jim’s throat. “The Romulans?”

“Right. And I’m okay. Just really tired, mostly.”

“And it’s no wonder. Have you gotten any rest at all since returning?”

“Some,” Jim lied. “It’s been kind of hectic.”

“I imagine.” He touched Jim’s hand with his own before Jim had a chance to avoid it, which he would have, because Jim was well aware of the touch telepathy, and we have known Spock’s intent. Spock’s eyes narrowed. “Not just the Romulans caused those injuries.”

“Let it go.”

“Jim, when I spoke of getting me to show my emotional compromise, it was not my intention to put you in harm’s way or to interfere in your relationship with Spock.”

“It was nothing, really. Okay? He just flipped out a little. I went overboard with goading him talking about all the losses on Vulcan.”

Spock’s lips thinned. “Jim—”

He shook his head. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“Tomorrow, yes. I will be leaving to help with establishing a colony for those of us that remain. But today? There is someone I must have a word with.”

“Did you want to have dinner with my mother and me?”

“I wish I had the time, honestly. I do not. Jim, do me a favor and make it an early dinner. I would like to see you get the rest you are so clearly lacking.”

“I’ll try,” Jim said vaguely.

“Where is Spock?”

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know, really. Last I saw him he was at HQ. Kind of out of it.”

“Then you have not talked?”

“A few words.” Jim straightened. “I should be going myself. I won’t keep you from whatever you need to do. Just…can I ask you one question?”

“Of course.”

“Where you come from, were we…you and I…were we…?”

“Yes, Jim. Admittedly far later than you and Spock. We did not meet at the Academy, let alone establish a relationship then.”

Jim frowned. “When?”

Spock smiled slightly. “I think that I have given you all the information I should.” He held up his hand in the ta’al.

“Nope.” Jim shook his head. “That’s not going to cut it, old man.” He pulled the old Vulcan close, embracing him. Then he stepped back. “It wasn’t your fault, you know that, don’t you?”

“I was the one who advised you to compromise—”

“No. Not that. What Nero did. The loss of his planet in your time. You tried to help them.”

“And failed. Quite miserably.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause the star to destruct. You were trying to help and it was too late. But that’s not on you. And none of what he did, not the Kelvin, not Vulcan, none of that is your fault, Spock. It’s all on Nero.”

“If you say so.” He held up his hand in the ta’al again. “Live long and prosper, Jim. Peace and long life, T’hy’la.”

“Hey. What’s that—?” But Ambassador Spock was walking quickly away. And out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Uhura. He hurried after her.

“Uhura.”

She stopped, turned, and looked at him. Her eyes were red rimmed and wet.

“What is it?”

“Gaila was on the Farragut, Kirk. She didn’t make it.”

“God. I’m sorry.”

She hugged herself. “So many, you know? A bunch of my friends didn’t make it. If not for hearing that transmission, we wouldn’t have either.”

“But you did. You heard it.”

She nodded. “And you knew what it meant. I heard you got the Enterprise.”

“I did.”

“I’ll be on there too. Again.” She bit her lip. “What about Spock?”

Jim shook his head.

“Give him time. He’s really hurting.”

“I know. I am. It’s just…”

“What?”

“Pike told me he’s leaving Starfleet. I guess to be with the other Vulcans.” Jim blew out a breath. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me anything. I guess that’s the answer to my question.”

“Question?”

“Whether the two of us are still together.”

Uhura frowned. “But…I mean, he’d tell you if you weren’t, right?”

“I don’t know. I think I hear him loud and clear.” He looked past her to the exit. “I need to go. I’m meeting my mom. And I’m sorry about Gaila. I really liked her.”

“Me too. Tomorrow some of us are getting together for a little memorial for those that died. Our fellow cadets. It’s at two in the Quad at the Academy if you want to come.” She paused. Smiled just a little. “Captain.”

“Yeah. I’ll be there. Thanks.”

He rubbed the tightness in his chest and headed for the exit, ready to meet his mom.

June 20, 2019

I Will Follow You Into the Dark 06/19/2019 Chapter 1

Hello folks. Look for new chapters for this fic on Wednesdays, until it’s conclusion. This is what I would have liked to happen in Star Trek 2009. Please note this was going to be a flash. And now? Nope

Chapter 1

Jim’s heart pounded as he ran to the docking bay where the ships waited. He ran ahead of Bones, straight to where the commander with the list stood. The guy glanced at Jim.

“Cadet Kirk. The Farragut.”

He frowned. “What? There must be some mistake. I should be on the Ent—”

“Nope. No mistake, Kirk. The Farragut. Next—”

Jaw tightening, Jim rushed over to where he saw Spock standing. “Commander—”

“Cadet.”

He looked around, aware of the crowd of officers and cadets running around them, and lowered his voice. “Spock. Why am I on the Farragut?”

Spock straightened. “I thought, given our personal relationship, it would be best to—”

“But.” Jim took a deep breath. “I want to be on the Enterprise with you. Vulcan’s in trouble. I want to be where you are. I could help. Please.”

“I do not wish to worry about you.”

“You won’t have to. Spock, this is what we all train for. I’m good.”

Spock looked down at his PADD and pressed a few buttons. “Very well, Cadet. You are on the Enterprise.”

He tried to get Spock to look at him, but he wouldn’t. “It’s going to be okay, Spock.”

“Just…be safe. That is how you can best help me right now.”

Jim nodded as Spock hurried off in another direction.

Bones walked up to Jim. “You on the Enterprise now?”

“Yeah. He’s freaked out.”

“Can you blame him, kid? That distress signal.” Bones grabbed his arm. “Come on, kid. Let’s move.”

****

It seemed like weeks, years maybe, but Jim knew, in reality, it was just days and only a few of those. He was back on Earth, feeling every bruise, every strained muscle, every punch to a part of his body. He still felt the Romulan’s fingers tightening around his throat, leaving new bruises over the ones left by Spock. But none of it was close to what Spock felt. Jim knew.

He first checked on Spock’s parents. They were as well in their temporary lodgings on Earth as they could be under the circumstances. Both exhausted and grieving. In unimaginable pain. Amanda had cried when she’d seen all the damage done to Jim, had begged him to be treated, but he had deflected as he always did. Reminding her that what she’d just been through, her and Sarek, was far worse than a few bumps and bruises to him.

They’d almost lost Spock’s mom, Jim almost had, but he’d been able to grab hold of her at the last moment before she fell to her death. At least Spock had been spared that.

But his planet and all those Vulcans and other species on the planet—

“Spock?”

Jim had approached Spock from behind, while he stood at a window at HQ, overlooking the San Francisco Bay. He’d been directed by others to find Spock there. Since returning to San Francisco, Jim had not seen Spock. He was surprised to see Spock still wore his Starfleet uniform, though it was splattered with all kinds of fluids and debris. It was beyond washing, Jim thought, but did not say so. The fact that Spock still wore it, had not cleaned up, was telling, as Spock was meticulous normally. Someone should be taking care of Spock, seeing to all that, but Jim wasn’t even sure if he was the one to be doing that now. He wanted to offer, but…it was still a little raw to get away from the naked murderous fury he’d seen in Spock’s eyes not that long ago as he clearly intended to kill Jim.

Spock stiffened visibly when Jim spoke. “I am not appropriate company at present, Jim.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat that didn’t seem to want to go away. And it hurt to swallow. It did, but Jim wasn’t going to do anything about it. “Okay. I’ll…I’ll go away in a second. I just…your parents are all right. I have them settled in Starfleet housing for now. Your mom’s resting and your dad is meditating.”

When Spock did not respond, Jim went to turn away, but then stopped.

“Is there…what can I do?” Jim took a step closer, close enough to touch Spock, but not doing so. He’d learned earlier on the ship touching Spock when he was like this was not wise.

“You have already done it. I appreciate that you saw my parents settled. And the…elders.”

But not the one Jim had seen get crushed in the cave when they’d gone to rescue them. Spock’s mom had told Jim that he’d been a teacher of Spock’s that Spock had admired. So many gone, so many taken by Nero. His own loss, that of his father, seemed small compared to everything else. There were worse things than growing up without a father. Jim had learned that all too well.

“You-you’re welcome.” He turned away.

“Jim.”

“Yeah?”

“You have received medical attention for your significant injuries?”

He hadn’t. Bones had bugged him, but Jim had put him off. And now Jim needed to shower, dress, and get to the ceremony where they planned to give him a medal for all this. For what, anyway? Not being able to save Vulcan. But Earth, yeah, they still stood on Earth.

“Yeah,” he lied. Because he didn’t feel like saying he hadn’t seen anyone and in the end, in Spock’s current state, he doubted Spock cared as much as he was supposed to, and for some reason, Jim felt like Spock had asked because it was what you were supposed to do for your significant other. If they still were. Which, well, Jim wasn’t even sure about that.

Pike had told him that Spock was offering his resignation. He intended to help establish a colony to rebuild the Vulcan race and anyway, what could Jim say about that? Spock hadn’t even asked him what he’d thought or even mentioned it. He’d heard it from Pike.

Spock didn’t say anything else so he left him standing looking out at the bay and left to get ready for the ceremony.

On the way to it, cleaned up and once more dressed in his cadet reds, he heard his name called.

“Jim! Jim!”

He stopped and turned, just barely catching his mother as she flew into his arms.

“Thank God!”

And she felt good, holding him this close, and he realized, that after everything, all that he’d been through just now, no one had offered him a hug, not one single person. He hugged her close, tears stinging his eyes.

“Hi Mom.” He choked on the word because he’d been about to become little again and call her Mommy, which for his age would have just been ridiculous. She didn’t seem to notice his little flub and instead held him tighter, he guessed, giving him time to get himself together.

She pulled back after about five minutes, and honestly he wished she hadn’t, but he understood they couldn’t be hugging all day, and she put her hand on his face. “You look terrible. What have they done to you?”

He shook his head. “I’m okay.”

“You saw a doctor?”

Technically, he’d seen Bones a few times after, not for treatment, but still it couldn’t exactly be considered a lie to say, “Yeah. I’m fine. Just bruised and battered. But alive.”

She smiled through tears. “Yes. No thanks to these idiots. What are they doing taking a bunch of cadets out there to fight a megalomaniac like Nero?”

“Well—”

“I know.” She sighed. “You saved the Earth. I read the report. It’s just…if he’d have cost me my son in addition to…never mind.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you’re okay. I got here as soon as I heard. Spock’s not with you?”

“No. He’s-he’s having a difficult time.”

“Oh. Of course he is. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. How are Amanda and Sarek?”

“As well as they can be. I have them in lodging provided by the Federation.”

She nodded. “I’ll go check on them later, after the medal ceremony.”

“They shouldn’t…this is all too much, you know?”

“Sometimes after such horrible tragedy, we tend to want something to celebrate, honey. And I’m afraid you’re caught up in that.” She touched his cheek once more and stepped back. “And you are a hero, whether you want to be or want to admit it. We need heroes, Jim.”

“Okay,” he agreed, then linked his arm with hers, taking her with him to where the arena was, where the ceremony was being held.

June 19, 2019

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

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