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Ramblings of the Week, October 09, 2017

melting

So I had a mini-meltdown on Saturday, not going to lie. I had a headache since the day before that and it would not go away. I didn’t sleep well. I woke up groggy and unrested and depressed.

Circumstances conspired against me to bring me to an ever lower place and I wrote a post saying I was going to change the blog, which I later deleted. I actually considered deleting the blog as well as my tumblr account. I hit delete on that probably five times and the only thing that stopped it from happening was it wanted my password and I couldn’t remember what it was.

Then I got that out of left field comment on For the First Time and I lost it. I somehow managed to update You are the Light but damn it dragged me further down. I was glad I got it done, honestly, but it managed to just make me so much sadder.

I’m a creator of my own stress at times as definitely certain people will tell you and promises I make to strangers definitely comes under that category. I promised I’d get an update done and I did.

I had to lighten things for myself as best I could and believe me the news I see everyday makes that difficult indeed. And even though I told myself I have no time for challenges (OMS for instance. I did it last year, I just can’t do it this year) and special holiday stories (the now world famous Professor Spock story was a Halloween story, HA), I decided I had to write one for my own sanity. I needed something fun and lighthearted. I wanted a heroic Jim, a hurt Spock. I wanted a love story that would make ME melt. And so October Romance has arrived. Halloween is in three weeks. And this story will be done by then. I have no idea how long it will be or any of that and it’s even likely it will be done before that day. Because this is what I must work on for now.

Otherwise, my weekend was okay. I did some necessary shopping on Sunday. Got some new coffee to try. Bought some wine. Watched the Halloween Baking Championship on Food Network. Saturday watched some movies that are just so over the top and I’ve seen so many times they couldn’t possibly scare me. They are like old friends.

Anyway, so I am taking it easy this week and doing fluffy. For those waiting for angst I hope you will be patient. Who knows where I will be next week. It may be an angst fest!

I know I owe readings to some others who have updated, and I WILL get to them.

Until next time, Live Long and Prosper.

Okay Yes I Changed My Mind

Again, yes.

I’m all over the place today. I feel bad. My head hurts. I’m emotionally drained.

And yet I still must deal with rude, mean people. Somebody posted on For the First Time in My Life I was Happy on like Chapter Fucking Five that she thought she was supposed to be reading a Spirk story not a story with Spock and his fake relationship. And that’s what tags are for. Now fucking, seriously? Why in the world do people have to be so damn rude? It IS a Spirk story. I just don’t get it. Am I insane or are they?

You don’t have to read my work. You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to give a damn. I get it.

But I am weary of it.

 

So anyway, today I am just watching stupid stuff. The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Halloween. Now I am about to watch The Fog.

I have been crying and depressed all day and that was just the straw.

So if I am short with you. Or mean. Or ignoring you. Or whatever…this is why. Because damn it’s hard right now. The news is depressing. And now I can’t even escape with my writing.

And yes I am ranting. And yes you can say “Fuck You” to me if that makes you happy.

But I am weary of it.

Updates to My Days Ahead

 

tumblr_lfpw5ywewl1qdsn2jo1_500

This picture is to remind you I still need to write my winter story!

So I decided to get out of Dodge for a few days. I did hint that I might. I will be pretty much incommunicado Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

I am also done posting anything to AO3 until Wednesday of next week at which time I will post the chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All that I wrote.

I think I updated a lot this week and since my readership is fading, I think that’s enough.

I do have a flash fic coming on Friday. I intend to concentrate on getting the final chapter of For the First Time in My Life I was Happy finished so I can post that next week too.

Those are my immediate plans anyway.

I’ve struggled pretty much all week with depression and my frenetic updates that are meant to help ME deal with it, only seems to hurt me in readership. No idea why that is, but that’s the scientific pattern. Anyway, so this is probably a much needed break for me.

In the meantime, I will play games, watch movies, have sex and chill some. Maybe read someone else’s stuff.

 

 

What Am I Listening To

As I have surely said before, music inspires me. Whether I am just trying to get through the dreary day at work or thinking of my latest Spirk story.

Here’s where my music love is going right now:

Keep Forgetting by Michael McDonald

Turning Page by Sleeping at Last

Drop Dead Beautiful by Britney Spears

Everything by Lifehouse

Somebody to Die for by Hurts

Believer by Imagine Dragons

Cry for You by September

I Don’t Deserve You by Paul Van Dyk (featuring Plumb)

Stay by Hurts

In My Veins by Andrew Belle

Comfort by Phil Campbell

 

These are always changing, of course, but this is my current crop.

Ramblings of the Week, September 18, 2017

fall

So I have this day off of work to spend with M. This is probably the last day available for him to take before his company’s year end stuff hits and there is massive overtime. They are basically told you can’t take any time in October, November and December. Sucks!

I also have October 02 scheduled off but that’s by myself. Later in the year I will some additional time. I also need to save a week for the end of January for our cruise.

Speaking of which, we need to pay the balance on that by the beginning of November.

Weather here has been spectacular. I am loving it. I do think we are supposed to hit 90s by next week for about 3 days or so before it goes back to the weather I have been loving. Autumn. My favorite season for decor and many other things.

My goal this week is to get the next chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All done and posted.  I have no other specific goals so we will see what if anything I can done besides that one.

Tomorrow night we plan to see It.

And that pretty much sums up my rambles for this week.

Videos Saturday

It’s time for some videos!

Some are not safe for work or probably your mom, or grams, or your landlady or kid, etc.

 

Some More Ramblings This Week

So recent movies.

I saw The Dark Tower. I didn’t mind it. I thought it was pretty decent, actually. Maybe because I hadn’t read the books, who knows. But I and those that went with me thought it was getting a bad rap. We all liked it fine.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard. Hilarious. Lots of violence and bad language so if that’s not your thing, skip it. But Samuel and Ryan were funny as hell in it. The one weakness to me was Salma. I’ve liked her in other things but to me her character didn’t work. But otherwise quite good.

Last night we saw Wind River. It was written by the same writer who did Hell or High Water. I’ve come to the conclusion he really thinks the lives of poor people suck bad. And that’s probably true. But it’s hard to have hope in his movies of ever improving that sucky life. It was very well done but very depressing. The murder/assault scene was disturbing, though not really overly graphic. Graphic enough though. It’s a move that I think will stay with me for a while.

It comes next. I am sure none of you will be running out to see that! Ha. I don’t really find clowns that creepy. When I was a kid there was a period of time my mother collected clown related stuff. Statues of Emmett Kelley and paintings and such. She even had some ornaments. I don’t like them myself but I don’t find them really frightening. That being said the previews for It are terrifying! I can’t wait to see it, lol.

We are actually in the 70s today! Can I get a hallelujah?! HA HA

So far this week besides my guest sex chapter, I have updated What Happened to Spock and When I Fall in Love. Unlike last week I will have a flash up on Friday.

Today I had my Health Screening at work. It’s something they do every year to give you credits toward the costs of your benefits. You have to certify you don’t smoke (my company takes my word for it, M’s makes you do a swab!), get a flu shot (something I have done for years due to asthma), have your BMI done, Blood Pressure checked, and your glucose and cholesterol.

My BP was still too high even with the medicine I take at 130/84. But everything else was great. So yay! I can live for a while longer!

 

 

Ramblings of the Week, September 11, 2017

Had a pretty nice weekend. The Muppets at the Bowl were fun. Saw a few celebrities including Ty Burrell from Modern Family and composer Paul Williams. He wrote The Rainbow Connection for Muppets (as well as the music for the Muppet’s Christmas Carol) as well as several very well known songs like the Carpenters’ We’ve Only Just Begun.

And then Sunday we met a friend for brunch. Ate way too much. But it was nice.

I did manage to get the conclusion of First Impressions done despite my vow to take a break. Thanks for checking it out as I know most of you did.

I don’t have any idea what I will work on this week as far as writing goes. I need to get a new chapter of What Happened to Spock done but I am stuck on it. It’s one of those works I wish I had never started because I have written myself into a bit of a corner. I tried to write on something today but without any success I guess. I thought it was pretty good, but apparently it was not, so I am feeling very low.

So, I just don’t know. I ended up reading at lunch instead.

Sixteen years ago, of course, our country changed. I remember spending days on end crying after that day. Hearing all the stories about the people who died. And watching all the news coverage. For those of us that experienced it as adults it’s not something we can ever forget.

 

Ramblings of the Week, September 04th

As most of you know, our AC was out and in the middle of the biggest heat wave we’ve had in a long ass time.

So we got an appointment for someone to come in and fix it and M took the day off, Thursday, to have it fixed.

FYI, Wednesday night was the most miserable night ever.

Anyway, so they were supposed to come at 10:30 on Thursday but apparently two teenaged boys arrived, according to reports! LOL.

They had no idea what they were doing I guess and ended up leaving without doing squat. The access onto the roof is in a neighbor’s yard and their ladder wouldn’t reach otherwise.

We then spent like an hour and a half driving all over looking for a portable AC but with the heatwave everyone was sold out!

So Thursday evening the neighbor contacted us and said of course they can go in. So we made ANOTHER appointment for Friday. From 2 to 5 and since I was getting off early for the holiday weekend we took the appointment.

I went on Amazon and ordered a portable for our bedroom anyway.  Paid for it to be delivered Saturday because I was taking NO CHANCES.

Dude didn’t show up Friday until almost 6 but he was an adult and knew what he was doing! Yay. Fixed it (needed a starter) and we had the best night sleep we’d had all week. Plus I now have a back up if anything goes wrong

This week is a short work week. On Saturday night we head to the Hollywood Bowl for The Muppets Take the Bowl and Firework Finale. Should be fun. We love the Bowl.

I hope to get a few things updated this week but I won’t say what so that no one blames me if their favorite didn’t make it!

Enjoy!

Pinto2

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