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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

Author

ivansfanfiction

Flash Fic, November 10, 2021

“What’s wrong with you?”

Spock was surprised by the question as he did not believe anyone would know there was anything wrong with him. He had thought he had hid it well as he always did.

He sipped his tea and gave McCoy a slight shrug. “Nothing is wrong, Doctor. I am merely contemplating the recent…situation with the captain and the native on the planet.”

“Miramanee.”

“Yes.”

“What about it?” McCoy picked up his fork and stabbed into a plate of eggs.

“I would not have expected the captain to take a wife and…”

“Expect a child with her?”

“ Yes.”

The doctor shrugged. “He had amnesia and forgot all about his life.”

“About us.”

“Right. That bothers you somehow, huh?”

It did but Spock was not sure how to admit it.

McCoy smirked. “You thought we were somehow unforgettable.” He paused for a gulp of coffee. “You thought you were.”

Spock shook his head in deniable.

“That emotion you’re feeling—”

“Emotions are illogical.”

“Is jealousy.”

“Vulcans do not feel—”

McCoy waved this away. “I’m not saying you feel jealous romantically, but you are jealous that your friend could forget your very existence, considering how much time you spend together.”

Spock was saved from arguing further by the arrival of the captain. Kirk paused a moment to look at them somewhat quizzically before approaching them with his tray of French Toast.

“Captain.”

“Morning, Spock, Morning Bones. You two looked serious. Something on your minds?”

Spock nearly asked the captain how he felt about the loss of his wife and child, but it was not his business, and at breakfast in the mess was not appropriate anyway.

“No, Captain, there is nothing.”

And a short time later, Spock excused himself to report to the bridge. He didn’t wish to analyze McCoy’s words as to whether he was indeed jealous. He dismissed the possibility as unlikely and decided, that night, he would meditate for a longer time to clear his mind.

Flash Fic, November 08, 2021

“Spock’s a total cuddler.”

Jim really wished he hadn’t just heard that.

Uhura, Christine Chapel, and Janice Rand were seated a table nearby in the mess room gossiping, apparently, about their lovers.

“No way!” Chapel exclaimed. “Spock?”

Uhura laughed. “Right? But trust me. He’s been like that since the first time we slept together back in the Academy. It’s so sweet.”

Jim blanched and rose from the table. He didn’t want to hear anymore. This was making his heart hurt and his stomach churn.

Never mind he had no right to these feelings, that didn’t matter.

As he was departing the mess, Bones was about to step in.

“Hey, where are you going? Thought we were gonna have something to eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” he snapped, without meaning to, really, but he knew he had, and he kept going out of the mess and down the corridor to the turbolift.

At least he made it to his quarters before the sting of tears pricked his eyes. And he was angry with himself. So angry he kicked his desk and then paced around the room, wiping his eyes.

This was why he didn’t do relationships.

Jealousy sucked. He absolutely hated this feeling.

After a while he calmed down, but he still ignored the door when someone chimed. He was fairly certain he knew who it would be and he didn’t want to deal with that right now.

He took a shower and went to bed after. Never did have anything to eat.

And when he woke the next morning, Jim was hungry so he shoved a quick bowl of oatmeal into his mouth and headed to the bridge.

Spock was already at his station and so was Uhura. As Jim made his way to his captain’s chair, he saw them exchange a look.

The rest of the ship, Jim stuck to business, only giving short, clipped answers if anyone tried to engage him in conversation. They all soon gave up and he was quite aware as he heard whisperings of the captain’s bad mood.

He practically ran into turbolift and closed the doors before anyone could follow him.

He’d already declined a dinner invite from Bones.

Yeah, he was sulking a bit. And he was still feeling jealous. His mood was dark, so sure, he decided it was better to avoid everyone until he got over it. And he was sure he would.

But after he’d had a chicken sandwich and sat down to do reports in his quarters, he finally answered the chime at his door.

“Come.”

Of course it was Spock. He’d expected that.

Normally Spock would stand in front of Jim, hands clenched behind his back, but this time he approached Jim’s desk, hands outstretched.

“Jim, have I done something wrong?”

“No.”

“Your word says no but your expression and behavior say otherwise.”

“I…Spock, I don’t think this is working.”

Spock blinked. “What?”

“You and me. I thought maybe we could make it work, but it’s not. Not for me.”

“I do not understand.”

“The jealousy is eating me up,” Jim admitted.

“Jealousy? What are you jealous of?”

“Uhura.”

“We ended our relationship and—”

“I know. I do. But I heard her talking about how you are a cuddler with her friends.” Jim paused. “You never cuddle with me. And that made me feel like you’ll never love me as much as I love you or even as much as you loved her.”

“I love you more,” Spock said quietly.

“Spock—”

“When we began, there was one night that I went to put my arm around you and—”

“I pushed you away.”

“Yes.” Spock swallowed hard. “The last thing I wished to do was give you a reason to-to end things between us, but it appears I have done so anyway.”

Jim closed his eyes briefly. “I’m sorry. I don’t…I’ve never done this. Not like this. And that night I was so overwhelmed by everything I just reacted badly. I didn’t mean to let you think I didn’t want you to touch me after.”

Spock exhaled. “I need you to be honest with me, Jim, and not shut down every time something is bothering you. I am living in constant fear that you will terminate our relationship if I do something you do not approve of or if you are displeased. It is not a pleasant feeling.”

Jim came from around the desk and pulled Spock into his arms, hugging him close. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize.”

“I know. Please, when something bothers you or you hear something, talk to me. Tell me how you feel. I cannot rectify it if I do not know.”

Jim nodded against him. “I want you to cuddle me. And I swear I am not looking for ways to end things between us. What I said earlier notwithstanding.”

“There is no one else I want and love like you. There is no need to be jealous. I promise.  I will be more than happy to spend all night cuddling you.”

Jim smiled. “Okay. Deal.”

And that night, Jim felt loved and cherished. And yes, cuddled.

Flash Fic, November 05, 2021

“You are going to the fall festival with the doctor?” Spock asked.

Jim didn’t even look up from his PADD. “Uh-huh.”

They were seated outside under an umbrella. Spock had hot tea and Jim had something called a Pumpkin Chai Latte over ice.

They had both removed their Academy attire for the day. Jim wore obscenely tight jeans and a T-shirt that declared Happy Fall Y’all, which Spock had pointed out many times was grammatically incorrect, and Spock wore much looser denim trousers and a burgundy sweater.

“But why?”

“Because he asked me.” Jim looked up at Spock at last. “If you remember, you said you had—and I’m quoting here—’zero interest in attending such a festivity’.”

“I thought we had agreed not to go.”

Jim gave Spock one of those smiles he generally reserved for those he thought were idiots. Spock was somewhat surprised to be on the receiving end of one.

“No, Spock. You agreed not to go. I did no such thing. Bones asked and I said yes.”

“But…you and I are…” And here Spock floundered for the proper term. Neither ‘dating’ nor ‘seeing each other’ quite seemed right. For that matter ‘sleeping together’ wasn’t quite it either.

At least this time, Jim helped him out.

“Right, I know. But that has nothing to do with this.”

“It does not?”

“No. Bones and I are going together as friends who want to go. No big deal.”

“Then I will go as well.”

Jim stuck the straw of his drink into his mouth, but not before Spock caught a hint of that same smile.

“Why?” Jim asked.

“Because if you are going, I should go.”

“We’re not joined at the hip, sweetheart.”

And Spock warmed at the endearment even though he tried not to. He liked it when Jim used such terms for him. Illogical nonsense but there it was.

“I realize but…”

Jim was now tilting his head this way and that as he peered at Spock. “Oh. I get it.”

“Get what?”

He laughed. “You’re jealous.”

Spock was affronted. “I most certainly am not.”

“Yeah you are. You don’t like me doing things with Bones that don’t include you. It’s silly. I’m not interested in Bones. I’m interested in you. I would think my screaming your name last night would have convinced you.” He shrugged.

“Jim.”

Jim laughed again. “We’re friends only. Just like you and…” He wrinkled his nose in the same way he did when he smelled Spock cooking broccoli.

“Nyota,” Spock supplied.

“Yeah her. Anyway, there’s no need for you to go to the fall festival. Stay home and do whatever it is Vulcans do when their mates aren’t with them.”

Spock sniffed. “Most Vulcan mates don’t date others.”

“Spock.”

“Very well.” Spock paused. “What time are we leaving for the festival?”

Jim rolled his eyes but sighed. “Ten tomorrow morning.”

Spock nodded. “I will be ready.”

“Swell.” Jim laughed. “No, I mean that. I do.” He held his drink out for Spock to try, who did so.

“Not terrible.”

“There you see. Finish up and let’s go home.”

Spock did and as they walked to their apartment, he wondered how he got manipulated into going to the fall festival. Because he was certain that somehow…he was.

On Pause

Of all AO3 updates right now.

I have SIX more flashes to write for November so yes, I maybe panicking a bit. I did write ONE for December.

I’m also gone Sunday, Monday and Tuesday coming up so this is just making things crazier. So for now, please be patient. I know things need updating but I simply do not have time.

Thanks!

Flash Fic, November 03, 2021

“Oh yeah, that was Jensen. She’s an admiral now, but back then—”

“Captain,” Spock interrupted. Though to do so was rude. Spock knew. “I have no desire to listen to your past conquests.”

Judging by the suddenly closed off look on Jim’s face, Spock had managed to cause offense. That had not been his intention, but it was quite true he had no desire to hear about Jim and others. Spock experienced a not insignificant amount of jealousy during such discussions.

“Okay.”

It was all Jim said and it was said softly.

They were on shore leave in a booth in a quiet little bar of Jim’s choosing. Spock would have rather sat at a café but Jim wanted a drink and since these days Jim rarely got to relax and indulge, Spock did not disagree.

“It is not that I do not wish to hear about your life, it is—”

“It’s fine, Spock. I get it.”

“I meant no offense,” Spock tried again.

Jim smiled, but it was a fake smile. Spock knew the difference.

“I’m not offended. But I am tired. What do you say I finish this drink and we go back to the ship?”

“But I thought we had dinner reservations at that restaurant you wished to try. The one recommended by your brother.”

Jim waved that away. “Sam always had terrible taste. Let’s just cancel that. We can always grab something in the mess room later.”

When Jim made to slide out of the booth, Spock stopped him with his hand on Jim’s wrist. Blue eyes flew up to look at him in surprise.

“I find you and anything to do with you endlessly fascinating. My reasons for not wishing to hear about past paramours are purely selfish. I am…jealous of anyone that has ever gotten to touch you before me.”

This time Jim smiled genuinely.

“You silly Vulcan. None of them matter. I only have eyes for you.”

“And all your other body parts, I hope.” Spock arched a brow.

Jim laughed. “Definitely. Come on. Let me finish this and then we’ll make that reservation.”

“What about Sam’s poor taste?”

“Maybe he got this right.” Jim winked. “He did tell me you were perfect for me.”

Spock inclined his head. “And for that push in my direction, I am grateful.”

Sneak Peek of Winter Wonderland

Coming this December to A03…here is a sneak peek (yes I am feeling generous)

“You sure about this, Jim?”

“Hmm?” Jim absently stared at the PADD in his hands as he read over the message he had received.

“Jim?”

He glanced up into Bones’ concerned eyes. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re going to Riverside. Over the Christmas holidays. Its snowing there, according to reports.”

Jim laughed. “A real winter wonderland.”

“Alone.”

“Not alone. I told you. Desiree’s going to meet me there.”

“Who is this Desiree anyway? I don’t know her.”

“I knew her pre-Academy. You never met her.”

“You haven’t been feeling well lately. Ever since that time you were held prisoner on Tylo 4 you’ve been off. Not yourself at all, Jim.”

“I’m fine. You aren’t this fussy about Spock. He was there too and doesn’t remember any more than I do about what happened.”

“Spock seems normal. For Spock anyway.”

For a moment an image, a memory, flashed in his mind of naked limbs entwined, desperate kisses.

“I’m normal too,” Jim lied. Some mornings he felt…sick, sure, but it generally went away by afternoon.  “Anyway, I’ll be back in San Francisco on January 10th. This little break will be just what I need before we go out again.”

“Out again. And how insane is that?”

“You agreed, Bones.”

“I need my head examined.”

There was an overhead announcement.

“That’s my shuttle. Have a great time with your kid.”

“Have a great time yourself. You let me know every few days how you are.”

Jim smiled. “Right.”

He went up the ramp to the shuttle and then read his message again.

Jim, sorry, but I can’t make it to Riverside after all. So sorry. I’ll be stuck on Rigel 3 until February at least. So disappointed to miss you, Love, Desiree. 

Yeah, so okay, he didn’t admit to Bones that he would be there alone, but he knew Bones would freak out and demand he go to Georgia.

Jim didn’t want that.

He scanned through his next message.

Lieutenant Nyota Uhura has withdrawn her request to be transferred off the Enterprise. She will report for duty on January 15.

Jim smiled his relief. Prior to their leave, Uhura had requested the transfer since she and Spock were no longer together. Jim hadn’t wanted to see her go, but she had advised that the situation between the former lovers was proving to be difficult.

He had suggested they could work it out, their friendship, anyway, if not more, and he was glad they had. Or he thought they must have. He sent a quick note to her.

Glad to have you aboard. How are things?

That was as close as he felt he could get to asking into her personal life. They were friends, but there was a fine line between that and being her commanding officer.

He swiped through a few other messages, and then sighed. He leaned back, rubbing at his temples. He seemed to constantly have a headache. When he became active again, he’d ask Bones about migraines.    

Flash Fic, November 01, 2021

“You’re showing your jealousy.”

Jim laughed. “Jealous? What have I got to be jealous about?”

His best friend, Bones, rolled his eyes. They were seated in the Academy cafeteria, enjoying a late afternoon lunch.

Well, enjoying might be a slight exaggeration. The food was only marginally better than the food in Jim’s middle school cafeteria.

Bones fingered his chin. “Oh, I don’t know. Your ex is over there cozying up to your nemesis.”

“Uhura is not my nemesis.”

“Sure, sure. But she’s still practically sitting in the lap of Professor Spock.”

“Hey, whatever. Spock dumped me. He’s no longer my concern.”

“Okay, yeah. Maybe.”

Jim eyed him over his bad cup of coffee. “What does that mean?”

“Well.” Bones shrugged. “I know you two had a fight. I know you’ve been staying at the dorm ever since with me.”

“But?”

“Are you, well, was that really an official breakup? Did the hobgoblin actually say the words ‘Jim, it’s over’ or you know ‘I hereby dump you’?”

“No one says that.”

“Some version of that then.”

“Doesn’t he look like he broke up with me?” Jim asked. “He hasn’t looked this way once and he seems pretty focused on her.”

“To make you jealous, maybe.”

Jim laughed. “Well, it’s totally not working.”

“Of course not. But I still say having a fight doesn’t mean he intends for it to be done done.”

“Has he attempted to contact me or come crawling back? Nope. He has not. In fact, he’s dating. So, fuck him. Or don’t fuck him as the case might be.”

“You could be the mature one.”

“Ha. Not likely. I’ll go down with the ship before that ever happens.” Jim didn’t care that made no sense. Whatever. “I have a date myself tonight.”

“With who?”

“Gaila.”

Bones sighed. “Bad idea.”

“I don’t remember asking you.”

“And right there is where you get yourself in trouble. You should have. The moment you screw Gaila, you can forget you and Spock reconciling.”

“For the last time, Bones, WHO. CARES?”

Bones shook his head. “You’re funeral.”

****

“Jimmy, I’m having a crappy time and you look sad.”

Jim eyed her over his grasshopper. All right so he liked green. Orions, Vulcans. Whatever. Drinks counted too. Even way too sweet ones.

“Sorry.”

Gaila sighed. “You could contact him and say you’re sorry.”

“I’m not,” Jim insisted. “He was being a jerk.”

“Maybe he was and maybe he wasn’t. Does it matter who was wrong and who was right? You’re completely miserable.”

“He has a girlfriend.” He took another sip, grimaced, and then another.

“Uhura? Nah. Nyota’s not his girlfriend.”

“She wants to be.”

“Doesn’t make it so. There’s lots of girls who want to be your girlfriend, but you want Spock.”

“I do not.” He scowled.

“Jimmy, I…I’m going to go,” she said suddenly, rising from the seat across from him in the booth at the bar.

“What? Why?”

“Because someone else wants this seat.”

“What? Who?”

She shook her head, leaned down, and kissed his forehead. “Be good, Jimmy.”

She walked away and then a shadow fell across the table. Jim looked up and saw Spock looming over him. His gaze was on the green concoction in front of Jim.

“Sweet cocktails make you sick.”

“So what?”

Spock sighed and took the sear Gaila most recently occupied.

“What do you want?” Jim asked sullenly.

“To take you home. To our apartment.”

“I don’t live there. You kicked me out.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Well.” Jim shrugged. “Why do you want me to go home with you?”

“Because I love you and you are mine,” Spock said simply.

Jim blinked. He pushed away the sickening drink. “Yeah?”

Spock shook his had and sighed. “You are most illogical. There are times I would like to choke you and I am quite certain you feel that way about me.”

Jim smiled a little. “Yeah.”

“But there is no one else I would rather be with for the rest of my life.”

“Not even Uhura?”

“Not even her. There is no need to be jealous of my friendship with Nyota, Jim. She is only a friend and that is all she will ever be. I have tried to tell you that before. You are the one I want. Only.”

Jim bit his lip, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll go home with you.” His stomach churned. “But I did drink way too many of those things.”

“Indeed.” Spock nodded and stood, helping Jim from the booth. “Come, I will take care of you while you are sick.”

Jim walked out with Spock, Spock’s arm around him, and he felt…not great. But better.    

Flash Fic, October 29, 2021

“That’s probably the ugliest Jack o’ Lantern I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up, Bones. It has character.”

Bones frowned. He tilted his head this way and that as he studied the carved pumpkin on the dining room table of the apartment that Jim shared with Spock and their son, Satok.

“I’m surprised that Satok carved this. I thought he’d be far more careful.”

“Satok didn’t carve it.”

“Oh.” Bones nodded. “I assumed a child had so—”

“You’re just hilarious. You know it was me.”  

Bones chuckled. “You never stop making me laugh. Don’t ever change.”

Jim grinned. “Oh, go home, would you? They’ll be here any moment and I’m making butternut squash soup and Kreyla.”

“You’re so domesticated.”

“Yeah yeah. I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast.” Jim walked Bones to the door. He grabbed a chocolate bar and thrust it at his best friend. “Trick or treat. Bye.”’

As soon as Bones was gone, Jim went to the kitchen to finish making dinner. About thirty minutes later, he heard the door to the apartment open and then footsteps as his family arrived home.

“Dad, I thought you were going to wait for me for the squash.”

“All I had to do was bake it and then puree it,” Jim called.

“I meant for the carveable one.”

Jim left the kitchen and saw Satok looking at the Jack O Lantern.

“Well, uh, I left another one for you to do.” He picked up another medium sized pumpkin and set it on the table.

Spock leaned over and kissed him. “It does have character, Jim.”

He grinned. “Yeah?”

“It is…interesting,” Satok said diplomatically.

“How was school?”

“Acceptable.” He put his books down and sat at the table. “But now I am anxious to begin cutting up the squash.”

“Mm. Pumpkin. Dinner will be ready in thirty.”

Satok nodded. “I calculate I can be finished by then.”

Jim kissed the top of his son’s head, laughing at his scowl, and then went back into the kitchen. Spock followed him.

“How were your classes today?” Jim asked as Spock began making himself tea. “Acceptable?” he teased.

“Indeed.” Spock’s lips twitched. “And your time at headquarters?”

“Annoying. Sometimes I want to smash Barker’s face in. I didn’t, of course.”

“Of course.”

There was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Satok called.

A moment later,

“Trick or Treat.”

Spock shook his head. “An illogical tradition.”

“Probably,” Jim agreed. “But I’ve saved some chocolate out for you.” He winked.

Spock pulled him close. “You are still, technically, of childbearing years.”

Jim laughed. “Er, yeah, maybe. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Satok might desire a younger brother or even a sister.”

Jim pulled back and gave him a look. “Spock.”

“I realize the last time was during Pon Farr,” Spock acknowledged. “Satok is nearing seven.”

Jim’s eyes widened.

“Do not worry. We still have some time.”

“I hope so. Go help our son carve his squash, will ya?”

Spock kissed him. “Very well. Happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween.”  

Photo by Toni Cuenca on Pexels.com

And that’s a wrap on October Flashes. Thank you!

An October Walk With Me

Since we are coming to the end of October already I thought I’d post some “Fall” pictures for us.

Tree losing its leaves (yes the sky is that blue)
Proof some of our trees leaves change color
More changing trees and a super blue sky

Fallen leaves and yes that is my foot

A nearby neighbor’s decorations, Too cute right? A little girl lives there

I am beginning to write some of the holiday flashes. I haven’t finished November but right now I want to get a jump on the December flashes. Now is your chance to tell me in the comments if there’s anything you’d like to see.

I’ll probably repeat titles and ideas from the 2019 set. Last year, if you will recall, I did one story instead of the flashes. This year we return to the more popular flashes

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