Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings


Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday #6

We have The Flu from the One-Shot Collection 2, first posted September 07, 2014

Jim accessed Spock’s quarters and entered into a blast furnace. He winced. He swore he almost started sweating immediately.


“Here, Captain.” The raspy, barely there voice sounded like Spock. Kind of.

Jim approached the bed where Spock lay under what could only be described as a mountain of blankets and sheets. In fact he was covered by so many Jim suspected he’d absconded with those from Jim’s quarters and perhaps several other crewmembers.

He looked down at the very pale Vulcan.

“Hey, sweetheart. Bones told me you have the Norvarian flu.”

Spock nodded. His brown eyes were glazed and his hair stood on end.

Jim sat on the edge of the bed and touched his forehead. “You’re burning up. How hot do you have it in here?”

“95 degrees Fahrenheit.”

“That’s—that’s hot.”

“If you would like me to lower it—”

“No, Spock. I want you to have what you need. Are you cold?”


“Damn. I’m sorry you got sick. I’m gonna ream Bones a new one for not figuring this out before you got infected. What happened to Vulcans being immune to everything?”

“That is a fallacy. And I am half-human.”

Jim leaned down and kissed Spock’s feverish brow. “What do you need? What can I do for you?”

“I do not wish to inconvenience you,” Spock said with obvious reluctance.

“I’m on a break right now. Scotty’s on the bridge. I’m yours for the next four hours.”

Spock was quiet and simply stared at Jim.

“What?” Jim asked, stroking Spock’s hair. “What do you want, sweetheart?”

“I am told body heat is a good way of keeping warm,” Spock said, his soft voice straining. “I do not wish to infect you.”

“You won’t. I was inoculated against the Norvarian flu when I was on Tarsus. It was one of the few good things from those days.” Jim did not look forward to roasting to death under the covers with Spock but he also would do just about anything for his still secret lover.

Jim removed his shirts and then reached to yank off his boots.

“Are you certain?” Spock whispered. “I do not wish to make you unhappy.”

“You make me happy. Everything else doesn’t matter.”

“Computer, lower temperature twenty degrees,” Spock ordered.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Jim stood to remove his pants and boxers.

“With you in bed beside me I will not need it.”

Jim smiled and slipped under the covers. Spock immediately pulled Jim to him and plastered him against him, his arms looping around Jim’s middle. Spock gave a contented sigh and Jim decided his discomfort was worth it to make Spock happy.

Jim woke up to the sound of someone entering Spock’s quarters. He blinked his eyes blearily, trying to struggle up from the Vulcan who had decided to make Jim his bed. Spock was too heavy and would not budge.

“Okay, Spock, this should make you feel a lot better,” Bones declared from right next to the bed.


Spock stirred and began to move off Jim. “Doctor?”

“Yeah, I—Jim!” Bones had lifted the blankets that covered them.

Jim smiled sheepishly even as Spock tried to cover Jim from Bones’ gaze.

“Doctor, please let go of the blankets,” Spock said. “You are exposing the captain.”

“I can see that!” Bones said, dropping the blankets and covering his eyes.

Spock tucked the blankets around Jim. “Why are you here?”

“To give you a shot! You’re supposed to be sick.”

“And I am. The captain was keeping me warm.”


Jim laughed. “I think you might be making it worse, Spock.”

“Jesus, Jim. Spock? Spock is your lover?”

“That is not your business, doctor.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “I think the cat’s out of the bag now, Spock.”

“The cat, doctor?”

“Never mind.” Bones stabbed Spock in the neck with a hypospray. “This should make you feel a lot better. Almost as good as new.”

“Looks like you lost that wager, Bones,” Jim said with a huge grin.

“Well, how was I supposed to know you’d lost your damn mind?”

“To what do you refer, doctor?”

Bones snorted. “I can tell he’s feeling better already. I’m going. And I just have to say, no details.”


“Shut up, Spock. Though, I gotta know, when? How?”

“One month and two and a half weeks ago,” Spock replied. “If you desire hours and minutes as well as seconds—”

“I don’t,” Bones interrupted.

“And as for how,” Jim said. “That’s easy. Spock was upset I got hurt during a landing party and when you released me he attacked me and fuc—”

“La, la, la,” Bones said loudly, plugging his ears. “Forget I asked. In fact, forget I was here. In fact, I never was.”

They both watched as Bones practically ran out of Spock’s quarters.

“I believe I have won the wager, Captain.”

Jim shook his head and then frowned up at Spock. “What?”

“I placed an anonymous wager.”

“You-you did? But Spock, that’s-that’s cheating.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, because you had inside knowledge.”

Spock nodded. “I see. I suppose I must forfeit my winnings. I am not used to gambling.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah, I know. How do you feel?”

“I am greatly improved.”

“Good. I think I’m due back on the bridge soon. I’d like to get a shower.”

“Do you desire company?”

Jim’s eyes widened. “Do you feel that much better?”


Jim licked his lips. “Hot damn. Then, yeah. Hell, yeah. If you’re sure.”

“I am sure.” Spock leaned down to kiss him, pressing him into the mattress.

Jim groaned. “Maybe the shower can wait.”

Throwback Thursday #5

This short fic was published September 08, 2016 and is TOS Old Married Spirk


Jim wouldn’t stay out here long. It was chilly. Actually chillier than he’d thought it would be when he’d decided to step outside on the balcony to view the lights of the city as evening turned to night.

He shivered at the cold breeze that seemed to go right through his flannel shirt. Such temperatures wouldn’t have bothered him so much even ten years ago. But a lot had changed since then. He gripped the railing with one hand and lifted his glass of whiskey to his lips with the other.

The door to the apartment opened behind him.

“You should come inside.”

“In a minute,” he told his husband.

Though he heard no sigh coming from Spock, Jim felt it from their bond even still. The door closed and Spock was by his side, as usual, standing at the railing overlooking the city.

“I thought you were not going to indulge anymore,” Spock said quietly.

“It’s only one glass.”

“True. But you did say it had more of an effect on you these days.”

Jim nodded. “I’m old, Spock. Old and fat.”

“I prefer the term pleasingly plump.”

Jim chuckled. “Well, sure, I prefer that too.” He shivered again and Spock moved closer to him without being asked. “Can you believe it?”

“Believe what, Jim?”

“That we made it fifty years.” Jim shook his head. “Who would have thought?”

“I would have. There has been no one else I have wanted like you.”

Jim smiled, feeling warm in spite of the chill. “There was a time when all I could think of was you.”

“And now?”

Jim drained his glass. “It’s still that time.”

Spock covered his hand. “Come inside where it is warm.”

Jim began to turn away and then stopped. “Should we give up the apartment, Spock?”

They hardly spent any time in San Francisco now. Jim preferred to spend their time in Riverside at the farmhouse and Spock preferred to make Jim happy. They’d long since stopped being actively involved in Federation or Starfleet matters. Jim still rode his horses though. Spock fretted about it and tried to pretend he wasn’t fretting.

“Do you believe when we leave here that we will ever return?” Spock asked.

Jim thought about it. Really thought. They didn’t travel well these days, either of them. Though for Spock it was mostly because he didn’t want to travel without Jim. He’d turned down many invitations so that Jim wouldn’t be left alone. “I’m not sure.”

“It is paid for, so there is no harm in keeping it, should you desire.” Spock took his arm and helped him make his way back inside the apartment. “There is no need to make any decision now.”

“You’re right as always, Mister Spock.”

Jim eyed his walker that sat just inside the door of the apartment and decided to forgo it. With Spock’s help he easily made it to his chair in the living room.

“What would you like to drink now?” Spock asked, removing the whiskey glass from Jim’s hand. “Tea?’

Jim grimaced. Even after all these years he never quite acquired the taste for the tea Spock enjoyed so much. “Coffee.” He smiled. “Better make it decaf.”

He leaned his head against the headrest of the chair and closed his eyes as he heard Spock moving around in their kitchen.

Fifty years.


Oh, sure, they weren’t always a couple during that time. Jim had been a fool and Spock had been stubborn. But after all this time, Jim hardly remembered when Spock wasn’t in his life. By his side.

“Here you are, ashayam.”

Jim took the coffee and opened his eyes to smile at his husband, who sat next to him in his own chair, holding his delicate teacup.  

“You still steal my breath,” Jim told him.

“And you are still illogical,” Spock replied, though Jim felt his affection through their bond.

Jim chuckled. “True. But I do have my moments, Mister Spock.”


“Of logic.”

“Indeed. And they are always surprising.”

Jim smirked and took a sip of the decaf. “What do you think? Another fifty years?”

Spock inclined his head. “I am willing if you are, Jim.”

He reached over to offer two fingers to Jim who willingly met them.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Throwback Thursday #4

One of my original October Halloween Shorts

Photo by Pixabay on

On the Edge which was first published October 18, 2016

I know Vampires are not everyone’s cuppa…but here it is.

Jim stood in front of the mirror trying to figure out if he looked just right. He straightened out the cape that he had fastened around his neck.

“What are you supposed to be again?”

Jim eyed his roommate, Leonard, dispassionately. “Isn’t it obvious? A vampire.” His hair was greased back and he’d added a white stripe down the middle to look distinguished. And a bit of white makeup to his face to look pale and undead-like.

“Oh. For a minute I thought maybe you were going as a skunk.”

Jim whipped around, because that’s what you did when you wore a cape. “A skunk?”

Leonard smirked.  “I think it’s the white stripe.”

“Skunks don’t wear capes, brainless.”

“Well as long as we know the distinction.”

“Should I add blood around my mouth or something do you think?”

Leonard folded his arms across his chest. “What for?”

“To look like I’ve been drinking blood.”

“Don’t you want to be all thirsty for his blood?”

Jim squished up his face. “Good point.”

“I have them occasionally,” Leonard said dryly.

“Sure you don’t want to come?”

“Positive. I’m going to watch some TV and go to bed early.”

“Boring,” Jim pronounced. “Where are my teeth?”

Leonard handed him plastic teeth.

“Think I should have splurged on the more expensive kind?”

“Those work just fine.”

Jim nodded. “Okay good. I don’t know when or if I’ll be home tonight.”

“I know. Enjoy. But be careful. Watch your drinks.”

“I will,” Jim promised.

He left their apartment and made his way down the dark streets to where he was supposed to meet his date for the night. Jim thought it was kind of weird to meet in a wooded area but he guessed that was supposed to be all part of the ambiance of Halloween or something. And Jim could handle himself so he wasn’t worried about that. He’d taken martial arts.

When he first arrived at the rendezvous point, he was alone so he checked his watch and saw that he was about five minutes early. Standing there he heard the hoot of an owl and he could swear a bat flew overheard.

“Atmospheric,” he muttered. He took the plastic teeth out of his pants pocket and stuck them in his mouth. They tasted nasty and made extra saliva form in his mouth. Didn’t really fit right either. Ugh. He pulled them back out. He did not want to wear them all damn night. “God, these teeth suck.”

“I thought their purpose was to bite.”

Jim turned around so fast it was no wonder he was still standing. A man stood in the darkness of the trees. Tall and dark. He wore dark robes too. In the moonlight all he could make out from where the man stood was his pale face.

“Jesus, you scared the crap out of me.” Jim put his hand on his chest.

“In the spirit of the occasion perhaps.”

The man stepped closer so that Jim could make out his features. He was gorgeous, really. But his hair was cut in a weird bowl cut and he had pointed ears.

“Who are you?” Jim demanded.

“My name is Spock. Why are you here?”

“I’m supposed to meet someone.”

“Then you have succeeded. You have met me.”

Jim laughed a little. “No. I mean someone specific. His name’s Gary.” He glanced at his watch. “He should be here.”

“I know of who you mean. He is not coming.”

“He’s not? How do you know?”

“I saw him,” the man said. “He is not meeting you, James.”

“Damn it. Stood up? Wait, how’d you know my name?”

“It is of no consequence.”

Jim frowned. Took in the man’s appearance. “What are you supposed to be anyway? A monk? The weird hair and robes go with that, but what’s with the ears? Are you an elf? Are you dressed like someone from the Lord of the Rings?”

Spock inclined his head. “Something like that.”

“Well.” Jim was suddenly very cold and he pulled the flimsy vampire cape around him. “I guess I should leave if Gary’s not coming.”

“You could come with me.”

“With you? I don’t even know you.”

Spock arched one of his perfectly groomed eyebrows. “We can change that quickly enough.” He stepped closer to Jim until he was standing in his personal space. He looked very intently at Jim. “You want to come with me, James.”

Jim stared into his dark eyes. “Yes.”

Spock’s hand came up to frame Jim’s jaw. Jim should pull away. He knew he should and yet, he swayed into Spock, closer, pushing against him. He opened his mouth to say something but instead it was like an invitation for Spock’s head dipped and took possession of Jim’s mouth. Spock’s thumb stroked the corner, forcing his mouth open wider for Spock’s tongue to push inside.

Jim felt dizzy, like perhaps he would faint, so he dropped the plastic teeth he still held and found himself clutching Spock’s shoulders. Spock lifted him off the ground like he weighed nothing and he was pushed against the trunk of a tree as Spock deepened the kiss. Jim couldn’t breathe and hardly even cared.

The kissing could have lasted seconds, minutes, hours. Jim didn’t know. But all of a sudden Spock released him and he stood on solid ground again and surprisingly far away from any of the trees. He blinked, confused.

“Come with me,” Spock said, softly, but with authority.

“I should-I should. Where was I going?”

Spock held out his hand, palm up. “Come with me.”

Jim stared at his hand and then reached out and placed his in Spock’s, who then closed his fingers around Jim’s. “Where are we going?”

Spock began to walk, pulling Jim with him. “To my lair.”

“Your what?”

“My home.”

“I could swear you said lair.” Jim laughed nervously.

Behind him, Jim heard a low pain filled moan.

“What was that?” he asked.

“The riff-raff,” Spock replied, tugging Jim along. “Pay it no mind.”

“But it sounds like maybe someone’s hurt.”

“It is no concern of yours, James.”

Jim tried to look behind him at the group of trees he recently stood among but he could see nothing and Spock pulled him along, quickly. Why was he going with Spock again?

Spock stopped suddenly.

Jim looked ahead to see a large home shrouded in darkness. It looked more like a castle. Kind of spooky. He didn’t even think the city had such a place.

“We are not in the city.”

“Where are we?”

“My lair.”

Jim frowned as Spock turned to him and once more framed Jim’s jaw with his big, strong hand.

“It is all right, James. You need not fear. I will take care of you.”

Spock’s lips trailed to Jim’s neck, over the pulse of his throat. As he closed his eyes, he wondered why Spock’s teeth felt so sharp.

Throwback Thursday #3

This one is a little more recent.
Revealing, first published February 02, 2019


Spock looked around for his captain, who seemed to have disappeared from his own birthday party. He had other matters to discuss with Jim that he had not wanted to discuss with the crew in attendance. But now it seemed as though he had somehow missed Jim and the captain had departed to whereabouts unknown.

This was not welcome, for Jim had been in the corner of the room earlier that night talking with a blonde woman, who seemed to like to touch the captain frequently.

He was aware Jim had a thing for blondes. Or seemed to. Prior to her departure from the Enterprise, an unexpected departure most agreed, Carol Marcus seemed to always be around their captain. Spock had suspected they’d had an intimate relationship, but Jim had never confirmed this. Spock had heard, though, from a comment from McCoy at the time that Jim was in trouble with Starfleet. He could only surmise it had to do with Lieutenant Marcus.

Spock had no desire to remain at the birthday party without the honoree, so he left, and went out of the building and to a platform that took him out to the viewing point of the Enterprise. This was a closer look than the one they had all gazed at together earlier during the party.

He recalled the conference he’d had with his father earlier that day.

“You are not coming to New Vulcan,” Sarek stated. There was no judgment in his tone, but Spock heard it, nonetheless.

“My circumstances have changed, and it requires I remain with the Enterprise.”

“The Human.”

Spock acknowledged this with a tilt of his head.

“I hope that he is worth it.”

Spock was only mildly surprised that his father had guessed.

He heard her footsteps before she called out to him, “Spock! There you are.”

He turned to face Nyota, who had either followed him or had anticipated his habits, he was unsure which.

“Hello, Nyota.”

She smiled at him, setting her hand on the sleeve of his shirt, as she leaned into him to give him a kiss. Spock turned at the last moment so that she only got his cheek.

Nyota narrowed her eyes, but didn’t immediately comment. She looked out over at the ship. “It’s beautiful.”


She glanced at him. “I want to talk about us. If we’re going to reconcile, truly, and I want to, I need something more, Spock. I’d been meaning to talk to you about all of this, well, before, but then we made the choice to end things, and there was no point. But now, after everything we’ve been through, I want to take our relationship to the next level. We’ve talked about bonding in the past, but we’ve never gotten very far, but now that we’re waiting for the ship to be rebuilt, I want to go to New Vulcan and get bonded.”

Spock knew that this conversation was long overdue, but it didn’t make it any easier. Not for him. Not for her. But he had no choice.

“Nyota, I care for you immensely. You are dear to me and always will be. You have been a great friend and companion to me. I am, however, emotionally unable to offer you the level of commitment you require from me.”

For a long time, he felt her stare, but he did not look in her direction. He felt ashamed of his cowardliness, but he acknowledged its existence. This was the very reason Vulcans chose logic.

“Spock, look at me.”

He did, then, for it would be rude not to, and anyway, it was proper. Her expression was one of emotional despair, her mouth crumbled down, her eyebrows furrowed.


“You haven’t changed your mind, have you? You aren’t going to New Vulcan to settle after all, are you?”

“No, I am not.”

“All right, then…I’d like to understand, Spock.”

“I am…emotionally attached to another,” Spock said honestly.

“You mean you are in love with someone else?” Her voice was whisper soft.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“I see.”

“It gives me no pleasure to hurt you, Nyota, with this confession. I never intended to feel this way. I actively fought against it.” To no avail, he thought.

She turned away, looking out at the Enterprise, her bottom lip trembling. “This one you love, human?”


“On the ship?”

He hesitated and then said, “Yes.”

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Then she nodded. “You’ve been in love with him for a long time, haven’t you?”

Spock was only slightly startled that she had guessed who he loved, for he knew she had. In reality, he supposed, there was never any doubt, for there were only two humans he was truly close with and one of them was her.

“Perhaps longer than I was willing to admit,” he acknowledged.

She opened her eyes to look at him, and though her eyes were filled with pain, there were no tears. “Does Kirk feel the same way?”

“Unknown. I have not yet had the chance to speak with him. However, whatever his feelings, whether mine are returned or not, it would do you an injustice to renew our romantic relationship.”

Her mouth thinned slightly. “It was never your intention to get back together with me, was it? When we broke up before Krall, that was it for you.”

“Yes. I knew then I could no longer deny my love for the captain, whether I departed the Enterprise or not, it was not fair to you to continue to pretend otherwise.”

Nyota shook her head.

“I do love you, Nyota.”

“Not in the way I want. Not in the way I have grown accustomed to.”

Spock swallowed. “No.”

“I’ve been through this once already. You’d think it would be easier the second time.”


“I’m going to go now. I think it best, for the time being, that we don’t see each other, Spock.”

“If that is your wish, I will honor it.”

She said nothing more then, just reached over and squeezed his hand, and then hurried off in the direction she’d come.

Spock breathed in deeply. He did not want to go the way she’d gone, did not want to risk running into her or interrupting her grieving. He had no idea what her plans were or where she would go. In the immediate time and in the future.

He turned to go the other way and saw Jim standing in the shadows. Spock gasped.  He could not help but wonder, even as Jim fully revealed himself, how much Jim had overheard.

“Captain.” Spock heard the warble in his own voice, but he could not have prevented it. Jim stared at him as though he looked straight into Spock’s katra. He felt bared in a way that was quite uncomfortable to him.

A question formed on his lips, perhaps a distraction from what Jim might have heard, but they fell away, all words, all thoughts, really, as Jim took a step forward, out of the shadows into full view of Spock.

Jim’s hair was in vague disarray, messier than when Spock had last seen him at the party. Somehow the bruised and battered eye and cheek made the blue of his eyes stand out that much more…startling. He still had not spoken a word, but those blue eyes darted all over Spock and the area around them.

Spock had a moment where he considered Jim’s messy hair could be from the activities he’d engaged in with the blonde from the party. But even if that were the case, Spock had no right to feel the rush of jealousy and possessiveness he felt just then. He and the captain were not involved in a relationship.

And it was when Jim took another step forward that Spock realized his captain was shaking. But before Spock could become unduly alarmed, Jim suddenly launched himself at Spock, pressing his lips so hard against Spock’s that it forced Spock to take a startled step back of his own.

But he recovered quickly, hands roaming up to seize Jim’s biceps, and yank him forward so that their bodies were flush together. Jim’s arms wrapped around his neck, his mouth opening to slide his tongue into Spock’s mouth.

They could have been kissing for hours, an eternity, really, and it would not have been enough. Not for Spock. There was nothing like kissing Jim. Or being kissed by Jim. He was not inexperienced. In anything really, save for kissing Jim. And now, Spock intended to experience a lot of that.

When Jim briefly pulled his mouth from Spock’s, Spock chased his lips until they were on Jim’s again, his body pushing Jim’s against the wall of the building until Jim was trapped there, held between Spock’s legs, Spock’s arms.

Spock sunk his teeth briefly into Jim’s bottom lip and the softer whimper Jim gave in response went straight to Spock’s cock, hardening him. He pressed against Jim, who gasped when he felt the hard ridge of Spock’s arousal.

“My room,” Jim whispered on a ragged breath.

“Mine is closer.”

There was a hitch in Jim’s breath when Spock lifted him up so that his feet no longer touched the ground. Jim slipped a hand inside Spock shirt to touch the bare skin of the top of his back, just below his neck, and Spock felt like he’d been scorched. With Jim holding on for purchase he nearly slammed Jim against the building in his need to take that mouth.

“Spock, room.”

He managed to nod, but still it was almost impossible to pull himself away from Jim, even long enough to get them to some place appropriate for such activities. Part of his brain told him that this was all an illusion, a fantasy he had conjured up, and if he let loose of Jim even for a moment his captain would disappear into a puff of smoke and he’d still be standing by himself at the balcony overlooking the building of the Enterprise.

But he could not risk such exposure for his captain. Not on Yorktown. Not anywhere, really. So he finally forced himself to back away from Jim, before reaching for and seizing hold of Jim’s wrist to pull him from the area.

Jim went with him, willingly, and though others might have attempted to call their attention or perhaps even openly stared at them, Spock paid them no mind.

It was true that his temporary quarters on Yorktown were closer to their location than Jim’s were as the captain had been put up in luxurious accommodations due to his status as both their commanding officer and a hero as far as the leadership and occupants of Yorktown were concerned. He knew Jim had protested that it was never just him, but he’d been given the accommodations even still. Part of Spock thought he should take Jim all the way to those rooms, because surely Jim deserved such honors and deserved any pampering Jim could get from them and from Spock, but impatience won out and he turned in the direction of the building he was staying in.

He’d left the light on in his quarters, something he didn’t usually do, but for once it had been in his favor, because it meant the room was lit and he didn’t have to stop kissing his captain long enough to have them turned on.

And he had been kissing Jim as soon as they’d entered the private corridor. Kissing him and backing him toward the door, not caring at all if someone came along to see them in such a compromising situation.

By the time they were inside, Jim’s lips were wet and puffy from kissing. And a little breathless. Spock should slow down, let the human breathe, he knew that. But yet he couldn’t stop himself from chasing those addicting lips each time they got away from him.

Jim’s pupils were blown wide. He looked disheveled and wanton and despoiled. It made Spock burn.

If this would be the way his Pon Farr would begin one day, Spock would not be at all surprised. Because yes, he was on fire for Jim. His blood was heated. He yanked the leather coat off Jim’s shoulders with perhaps more force than was strictly necessary. But the coat fell to the floor at their feet.

The bed was across the room, too far for Spock’s liking, but their first time, he would not have against the wall or on the floor. Jim deserved care. To be cherished in all ways.

“Spock,” Jim gasped, gulping in a lungful of air as he actually put his hands against Spock’s chest. He laughed then, proving to Spock he was not cross. “Give me a second.”

“I apologize. It is just—”

“No. No apologies.” Jim yanked on the color of Spock’s shirt and fastened their lips together in a searing kiss. “You’re wearing too many clothes, mister.”

Somehow they got Spock’s shirt off—a shirt that had been a gift from Nyota during a shore leave—he was not sure if it was him or Jim that managed to remove it, but Spock tossed it away, behind him, so that it hit the door of his quarters. He kicked off his shoes and watched as Jim did the same.

Next he turned to Jim’s shirt, and honestly Spock would have been happy to shred it from Jim’s body, but just as his fingers moved to the edges of the sleeves to do so, Jim threw him a very disapproving captain’s look. He allowed Jim to rid himself of the shirt.

For a moment, all Spock could do was stare. Jim was beautiful, Spock had known that, and he was still, incredibly so, but his chest and arms were also covered in contusions from his battle with Krall.

“Hey,” Jim said, softly. “What’s that look for?”

“Your injuries—”

Jim put his fingers on Spock’s lips to stop his words. “Let’s not spoil this moment, okay? I’m fine. I’m good. Nothing hurts. And I really want you to show me just what you’ve been bottling up inside.”

He slipped his hand into Spock’s trousers and pulled him toward the bed.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Jim said. “I just want to feel you everywhere.”

Spock agreed with that sentiment in reverse so he pushed Jim down until he lay flat on the mattress.  Their erections pressed against each other and the hard ridge of Jim’s arousal had Spock groaning. While Spock would have almost been content to engage in perhaps hours of frottage, he was also eager to fully join with Jim. He had been imagining their coitus too long to just stop at rubbing against each other, but it was a near thing.

“Get out of these,” Jim whispered urgently.

“I will get you out of yours first,” Spock returned. He was pleased that Jim’s zipper slid down without encumbrance and even more so when Jim lifted up so that Spock could slip Jim’s jeans down and off his body with ease. He removed Jim’s boxer briefs, too.

He paused again to admire the beauty of Jim’s male form. He was hardness and muscle, sculpted like an ancient Greek or Roman statue. But no mere cold marble, but warm and giving flesh.

“Now you.”

Spock nodded, reluctant to pause in his worship of Jim long enough to remove his own clothing, but also eager to have bare flesh touch bare flesh.

He rose enough only so that he could remove his own pants and underwear and then returned to Jim, who held his arms open to receive him.

“Lube?” Jim asked.


Jim looked down at Spock’s erection and smiled. “How lucky.”


His captain laughed. It was amazing sound. Especially knowing he had been the cause of it. Jim didn’t laugh nearly enough and if Spock had anything to say to change that, he definitely would.

Their gazes met and held as Spock rose above Jim, Jim’s body tilted so that Spock had perfect access to Jim’s entrance. At first there was a slight resistance, a too tightness. But then the tension left Jim, his muscles relaxed and he accepted Spock fully into him.

There was no way they could last for long. It was too intense, too much wanted, too much dreamed of, for far too long. And there would be time, later, on Yorktown, on the Enterprise, wherever and whenever they went, to explore, to be together, in every way possible.

But now, as they were, Spock’s thrusts were frantic, deep, fast, desperate. He wanted to fill Jim up, mingle their scents, mark them for all time as lovers, soulmates.

With one tug on Jim’s shaft, his captain was screaming hoarsely, his open mouth gasping against Spock as Spock pounded into him until he too screamed, from him, Jim’s name, stripping his throat to rough soreness, and he cared not at all.

He didn’t want to move after, and for a long time he didn’t. Jim did not protest either, he just held Spock to him, arms wrapped snugly around Spock’s middle.

Eventually he slipped out and off, and would have risen and went to clean them, but Jim tugged him back to lie down beside him.

Spock’s fingertips caressed Jim’s jaw, so beautiful. “I suppose this means that you share my feelings.”

Jim laughed again and the warmth bubbled up from him and into Spock. It was a strange feeling.

“What is?” Jim asked.

And Spock realized he had spoken the thought out loud.

“I feel…happy.”’

“Get used to it,” Jim returned. “And yes, Spock. I share your feelings.” His lashes covered the blue for a moment, too long for Spock. He could be mesmerized by those eyes. And in fact, had been, many times. “I didn’t think…well…”

“Nor did I.”

Jim’s gaze flew to his. “You won’t leave?”

“I will not.” Spock hesitated. “And you?”

The smile lit up Jim’s face. And perhaps the room, no matter the cliché. “Not a chance.”

Spock kissed him.

“You’re right.”

“About what, Captain?”

That treasured laugh again. Spock wanted it endlessly.

“It is a strange feeling, happiness. But I think I like it.”

“Me too, ashayam. Me too.”  

Throwback Thursday #2

A Shore Leave Thing

Originally Posted June 13, 2015. Some people were disappointed that Spock needed nudging by Bones in this story to go to see Jim for shore leave, but in my opinion, Spock’s behavior was in character.

Mylocka provided artwork

Jim signaled to the bartender for another one and tried not to let his disappointment get to him. It was what it was. Just because he’d had other plans didn’t mean he was going to say a word. There’d be other opportunities. Not as good as this one, maybe.


He forced himself to smile at Bones when his friend sauntered up to him at the bar just outside the transport station on their shore leave planet, Sedonia. 

“Hi Bones.”

“Where’s Spock?” Bones asked with a frown.

“Oh.” Jim gestured to where Spock sat in a booth across the room with a group of other Vulcans. “When we got here they were here. Spock got excited to see them.”

“Spock got excited?”

Jim smiled. “Yeah. Well, more than usual, anyway. They’re only here for a couple of days. Staying at the hotel just down the street. They invited Spock to join them.”

“And he accepted?”

“I could see he wanted to, so I told him to go ahead.” Jim sighed.

“But-but the mountain and the cabin.”

Jim’s stomach rolled over. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

Bones knew Jim had planned this time with Spock at this snowy cabin—Sedonia boasted many areas similar to Earth—and Jim had hoped to tell Spock he was in love with him. As far as Jim knew, Spock didn’t suspect his romantic plans. He had just thought Jim invited him because Bones would be busy with Carol. Jim had let Spock believe that.

Jim had spent a lot of time second guessing his plans anyway. He’d told himself that there was an eighty-five percent chance Spock had a thing for him, too. After all, since Spock broke up with Uhura, he and Spock had been spending even more time together.  But as the time for shore leave got closer, Jim began to wonder if he had calculated wrong. After all Spock had informed him he would be staying on the ship and not going on shore leave.

Jim had then advised Spock he wanted to invite him to the mountain cabin. Spock had not experienced snow and had informed Jim he was unsure he ever wished to do so. With a little whining, Jim had finally gotten Spock’s agreement. But it had been reluctant. Jim decided he most certainly had calculated wrong about Spock returning his feelings.

And then they’d run into the Vulcans and Spock had suddenly gotten excited about shore leave.

Bone squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jim. I know you were looking forward to this.”

“Ah, well. It’s almost time for my transport if I’m going to make it there tonight.”

“You know if you don’t want to do that by yourself, I’m sure Carol won’t mind if you come with us.”

And Jim was just as sure she would mind. But would pretend she didn’t for Bones. Nope, no way.

“Bones, I’m fine. You and Carol go have a good time.”

Bones seemed reluctant, but he said, “Contact me if you change your mind. And check in with me at least once a day.”

“A bit excessive don’t you think?”

“No.” Bones sighed. “See you soon.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah.” After Bones left, he paid for his drinks, and headed out to the transport, where a superfast train would take him up to the mountain resort. He’d spared one last glance at Spock, but his first officer was deep in conversation with the other Vulcans. Obviously not sparing a thought for Jim.


By the time Jim arrived at the cabin that would be his for the next four days, he had stopped at a store for provisions, including food, coffee, and some firewood. Some alcohol, too. Something had to keep him warm.

As he was putting his groceries away it had begun to lightly snow. He started a fire after that and settled down into the couch to read one of the books he’d brought with him.  

He could have changed his plans and gone with Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu. They had no romantic plans and planned to spend their time in the party town of Sedonia. Which is what Jim would have normally done.

Four days of no one but himself for company didn’t exactly appeal and Jim wondered if he wouldn’t be so bored after the first or second day, he’d just return to the Enterprise.

He eventually put his book down, made himself some dinner, and then after watching the snow fall for a bit, he went to bed…alone. As usual.


By the next afternoon, Jim was ready to give up and return  to the Enterprise. He’d read, he’d gone for a long walk in the snow, he’d played some computer game on his PADD, he’d checked in with Bones. He was bored and lonely and sad. Not that he wouldn’t be on the Enterprise. Some. But at least he’d be with his lady there.

He looked up the transport trains for the next day, figuring he’d tough it out one more night. There was one leaving at ten the following morning. Jim planned to be on it.

It was just getting dark and Jim had been wondering if he should get up and make dinner. He had little enthusiasm for the idea. He’d already finished half a bottle of vodka. Or what passed for vodka on Sedonia, anyway. He was lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. It had been snowing heavily most of the afternoon and promised to continue well on into the night. As a kid he had loved the snow. Which was one of the reasons he had hoped to share this with Spock to show him how romantic it could be. What an idiot he was.

He started to half-doze when there was a knock on the door to the cabin. At first he ignored it, thinking he was hearing things. But after three persistent knocks, Jim stumbled up from the couch and to the door.

Spock stood on the other side, his cheeks looking slightly green and storm whipped. His dark hair was dusted with snow. He held a small bag in his hands.

Jim just stared at him. Maybe he was still asleep and he’d conjured him up in his dream.

“I believe I was invited,” Spock said when Jim still continued to stare at him.

“Uh. Yeah.” He stepped away so Spock could come into the cabin. He closed the door and leaned against it. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Spock’s eyebrow shot up. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one.” Jim frowned. “Weren’t you supposed to be staying with those Vulcans you met?”

“Actually I was supposed to be staying with you. I am gratified you allowed me to visit with them for part of our shore leave.”

Jim shook his head. “Allowed? You don’t answer to me when you’re on shore leave. You can do whatever you want. You could have stayed with them.”

“That would have been unfair to you as I had already agreed to come here.”

He smiled without humor. “Spock, it was all right. You didn’t have to come. Really. I’m planning on returning to the Enterprise tomorrow morning anyway.”

“You are discontinuing your shore leave?”

Jim shrugged. “It wasn’t what I hoped it would be.”

Spock put his bag down on the floor. “You are unhappy.”

“No, I’m fine.”

Spock stepped close. “You are not. I see it in your eyes. You are unhappy with me.”

“That’s not true,” Jim denied.

“I apologize,” Spock said softly.

“For what?”

“Disappointing you for your shore leave.”

“You didn’t.”

“It was not my intention,” Spock continued, despite Jim’s denial.

“You didn’t even want to come. It’s fine, Spock.”

Spock stared at Jim for so long that he would swear Spock was looking through to his soul. “You are mistaken. But obviously I have failed to make you understand.”

Jim frowned. “Understand what?”

“I did wish to come here with you. Not because of the snow or the cold. But because I wanted to spend the time with you.”

“Well, I…wait. You did? You do?”

“Affirmative. I should have explained that I intended to arrive this evening. I did not think you would choose to end your shore leave.”

“I just-being by myself was not what I had in mind,” Jim admitted, swallowing hard. “The truth is, I wanted to tell you—”

“You have romantic feelings for me.”

Jim smiled a little, licked his lips nervously. “Yeah.”

“It was not necessary for you to tell me during our shore leave. The news would have been welcome on the Enterprise.”

“Wait. Welcome?”

Spock shook his head. “Have you not guessed I share those feelings?”

Jim grinned. “Well, I had and then I hadn’t.”

“That is nonsensical.”

“That’s me. Nonsensical.” Jim put his arms around Spock’s neck. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Coming here. Not ruining my shore leave.”

Spock’s lips turned up at the corner just slightly. “So you are not planning on returning to the Enterprise tomorrow?”

Jim shook his head and leaned forward to kiss Spock. “Not if you’ll stay here with me.”

“I will stay,” Spock assured him. He glanced toward the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

Jim kissed along Spock’s jaw. “Uh-huh.”

“What do you wish for dinner?”

“Later,” Jim whispered in Spock’s ear. “There’s a bedroom.”

Spock shivered. “Indeed.”

“And in that bedroom is a really big bed.”

Spock closed his eyes.

Jim’s tongue flicked the point of Spock’s ear.

“Dinner can wait,” Spock announced. “Captain.”

“Yes, Commander.” Jim pulled out of Spock’s arms and drew him toward the bedroom.


Spock opened his eyes to find that it was daylight, at least judging by the white light streaming through the slats of the window blind. He had not intended to spend the entire evening and night in bed with his captain, but it had ended up that way. They’d never had that dinner. Spock couldn’t find it in him to regret that.

Presently, Jim lay on his side, facing toward Spock, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. His blond hair was a bit on end and there were pillow line creases on his face. He was beautiful.

Spock had never expected to be here. While it was true he would never leave Jim’s side as long as either of them had breath, he did not expect to be in his captain’s bed…ever. It had never made logical sense for them to be romantically involved, no matter Spock’s deeply hidden regard. And yet…here they were.

Jim’s eyelids fluttered and then very slowly opened, blue eyes staring in confusion at Spock. Spock waited as the confusion cleared and the sleepy haze from those eyes cleared completely.

“Is it morning?” Jim asked, voice still rough from sleep. For some reason Spock found that quite appealing.

“It is. We missed dinner.”

Jim chuckled, which Spock also found appealing. But he had found Jim’s laugh appealing even before coitus. “Well, hell.”

“You are regretful?” Spock asked with an arched brow.

“Are you crazy?”

“I have had numerous psychological exams which indicate—”

“Spock.” Jim shook his head and smiled. “I don’t regret any of last night. I am hungry though.”

“We shall have to have a hearty breakfast,” Spock agreed.

Jim nodded but his smile faded which caused Spock’s heart rate to speed up.

“What is wrong?”

“Nothing. This is real, right? I’m not dreaming?”

“It is quite real.”

“And this isn’t just a shore leave thing?”

Spock frowned slightly. “A shore leave thing?”

Jim’s fingers touched Spock’s jaw. “Something where when we get back to the ship we pretend it didn’t happen and we go back to the way we were before. Like a vacation fling.”

“Is that what you wish for this to be?”

“No,” Jim whispered. “I want forever.”

“I am sure you are aware that Vulcans do not do shore leave things.”

Jim smiled. “Does that mean you want forever too?”

“I will accept nothing less, Jim.”

“Breakfast?” Jim asked as he kissed Spock.

“Mmm. Later.”


“Doctor,” Spock said to McCoy as they both left the transporter room upon their return to the Enterprise.  

“Spock.” Dr. McCoy glanced at him. “What’s on your mind?”

Jim had stopped to speak to the transporter chief about something and Dr. Marcus had gone in the opposite direction of Spock and Dr. McCoy.

“I am forced to offer you my gratitude.”

“Oh?” McCoy smirked.

“You were correct in your assessment on Sedonia when you suggested that I join the captain for shore leave rather than continue visiting with the Vulcans that I met there.”

“Didn’t want you to miss the opportunity, Spock. Not sure you would have been given it again. Not with Jim.”

“He is a remarkably stubborn human,” Spock agreed.

“Something you share with him.” McCoy stopped outside sickbay. “Congratulations, Spock. I mean that.”

Spock studied him. “Yes, I can see that you do. Good day, Doctor.”

“See you, Spock.”

Spock returned to the transporter room just as Jim was stepping out. Jim smiled. “Have you been waiting out here?”

“No, I have returned after having a brief meeting.”

“Oh yeah?” They began to walk toward the turbolift. “With who?”

“Dr. McCoy.”

“You had a meeting with Bones?” Jim shook his head as they got onto the turbolift. He set it to go to the bridge.


Spock could tell Jim wanted to ask him what the meeting was about but he did not.

The doors opened onto the bridge and Spock went toward his station as Jim went toward his chair.

“Mr. Sulu, take us out.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Throw Back Thursday 05/17/2018

On July 18, 2014 I posted my first chapter in My Spirk One-Shot Collection Part 1

Miss Me

“Are you gonna miss me?” Jim asked Spock as they lay in the afterglow of love making. He was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, though Spock didn’t seem particularly sweaty, damn the Vulcan.

“You will be gone three days and only two nights,” Spock replied.

“I’ll miss you.”

Spock did not have a response for that and Jim sighed. His head had been lying on Spock’s chest but now he rose up and lay on his side facing Spock, who still lay on his back.

Jim reached for Spock’s fingers with his and stroked them together. “You won’t miss me?”

“I did not say that.”

“You didn’t say you would either.” Jim sighed. “I wish you were coming with me.”

“Both the captain and the first officer are not required.”

“I know, Spock. It’s just…never mind.”

Spock opened his mouth as though to speak, but Jim feigned a yawn.

“Wow, I’m super tired all of a sudden.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on Spock’s lips. “Night, Spock.” He turned to face away from Spock and closed his eyes, trying not to be disappointed.


Jim was dead tired when he beamed on board the Enterprise from the three day meeting he’d had on Starbase 9. God Admirals and dignitaries could talk forever.

He stepped off the transporter pad and managed a weary smile for the chief behind the controls. He was back a couple of hours earlier than originally anticipated, so instead of heading for the bridge, Jim went to his quarters.

A check with the computer indicated Spock was on the bridge, so Jim discarded his clothes and got into the shower. He planned on drinking coffee when he was finished, so he could face the rest of his shift. What he really wanted was about three days straight of sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and exited the bathroom.

Spock stood in his quarters, hands behind his back. For a moment, a fleeting one, Jim was annoyed Spock had entered his quarters without his permission. They had only been…well whatever they were…for a couple of weeks. Spock shouldn’t just think he could enter without asking, should he? But then Jim realized normally he wouldn’t care. He was just still smarting from Spock not telling Jim he would miss him.

“Hey, Spock. Everything okay?” Jim smiled. ”I got back a little early so I figured I had time for a shower.”

But Spock only stared at him.


Spock moved suddenly, so fast Jim gave a yelp of surprise as he was shoved against the bulkhead. The Vulcan slammed his hands on either side of Jim’s head, trapping Jim there.

“What?” Jim asked, his eyes wide with surprise.

Spock crushed Jim’s lips under his, ferocious and bruising. Jim moaned and threw his arms around Spock’s neck, pressing into the kiss, into Spock.

When Jim finally had to come up for air, he blinked hazily at Spock. “What was that?”

“I missed you.”

“Oh.” Jim smiled. “Oh.”

“Is that all you can say?” Spock asked, his pupils blown wide, as his gaze went to Jim’s swollen lips.

Jim went in for another kiss. “I missed you, too.”

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