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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

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Ramblings of the Week of October 17

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I spent this past weekend in Mammoth. If you don’t know what Mammoth is you should google it. Mammoth Lakes. It’s beautiful. It was a long drive there Friday night after work and we didn’t get there until about 1 AM. Anyway we had a great time though it was cold and as we were leaving Sunday morning snow was on all the mountains and hills around us.

While I was there I got an idea for a new fic. I intend to start it today but don’t know when I will begin posting it. No details as yet because I want it to be a surprise.

I have to wonder at celebs sometimes. Why would you adopt a dog right before going away on a week long road trip with your buddies?

I’m having a little get-together this coming Sunday. I intended to serve hot tea and coffee but since they are now predicting it is going to be about 85 I guess I will be serving iced tea. I am ready for it to be cool. I got spoiled in Mammoth where I was freezing. I really don’t know how you people who live on the East coast do the snow every damn day thing in the winter. Brrrrr

Edit: I took out my complaint. It was clear to me it didn’t work as I intended it to and probably made ME look bad.

In Limbo…

As the title says there, I am sort of in limbo about what’s coming next in the updates. I am working on the next chapter of My Devotion, You are the Light That’s Leading Me, the One-Shot and Young and Beautiful. None are finished. Not sure if I will have anything finished but my goal is to get something finished and updated on Friday.

I’m still working on my Old Married Spirk story but I have all of November to post that, though like I said before I intend to post it sooner rather than later.

I’ll be away all weekend so there won’t be any updates. In fact that’s sort of going to be a pattern going forward through the end of the year. This is my busy time with parties, plans, family, friends, and holidays.Through October I have plans every weekend and into November as well. I expect December to be likewise busy, so just expect me to take most weekends off posting wise.

Because my plate is super full (got one story finished thankfully) and Christmas stories will be coming up soon, I expect THE WINTER STORY not to get going before January. It’s going to have angsty sad elements for sure. I am hoping to get a story or two completed before I get working on that too much.

Because he’s beautiful, I must conclude with a Chris picture. Oh look, Zach got in there too.

 

Ramblings of the Week October 10

I’ve been writing. Sort of. I wrote two little parts of Young and Beautiful. Which I posted. And I started the next chapter of My Devotion and the One-Shot Collection 5 but I didn’t get very far on either. I didn’t post anything this past weekend on AO3 and I am not sure I will have anything to post today. I’m sort of…I don’t know. Blah.

I want to delete my account sometimes as you know. Just make it go away and never post another word. Another story on there. I haven’t and I am not sure I will. Because that’s happened to me on there and I know it sucks. I’ve been that reader that goes…oh no…

Sometimes it’s not enough though.

I don’t kid myself that someone else won’t come around to fill the gap I would leave. New writers of the Star Trek reboot movies come along all the time. The whole Spock/Bones thing seems to be catching on way too much since Beyond but whatever. I lament the lack of Kirk/Spock fics on there but alas that’s the way it is.

And I refuse to ever return to the K/S Archive.

Anyway, if I ever did delete, the fandom would go on. Springing up new life all the time and new fans. And some of them are really good, so I don’t think I’d be missed for long, really. There are those I adored to read who don’t publish anymore, so it happens.

I do have people tell me I am their favorite and that’s lovely, really. I had a reader make such a comment today. And I guess that’s why I still haven’t deleted my account there. But I can’t say the thought doesn’t occur to me still, because it does.

What’s the gist of this? I don’t know. This is called rambling for a reason.

My current desktop background.

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PAIRS

So I saw this on tumblr and decided to put a post on here with my thoughts on it.

OTP – Obvious isn’t it? Kirk/Spock

Favorite canon pairing: I think this is supposed to be an “actual’ pairing in fandom, not a created one, so if that’s the case I’d go with Arwen/Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings trilogy. But if that isn’t what it means, I say Kirk/Spock again.

Worst Pairing Ever: Spock/Uhura, duh, just so wrong,  although for me a close second is Spock/Bones

Guilty Pleasure Pairing: Kirk/Spock Prime

A Pairing I want to see more of: Always Kirk/Spock, to me there aren’t enough

That pair that everyone likes but you’re like “no, lol”: Kirk/McCoy

Favorite Non-Romantic Pair: Kirk/McCoy

 

 

My Own Favorites

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Chris Pine plays Kirk in Star Trek Beyond from Paramount Pictures, Skydance, Bad Robot, Sneaky Shark and Perfect Storm Entertainment

We all have our favorites of work we’ve written. Or maybe that’s just me, but I don’t think so.

I was talking to my dear bff Kris about this and she shared with me her favorites of mine. I started talking about it because I was mentioning a particular story of mine that is popular and the reason why always eludes me. I don’t hate the story but it’s not in my top 5 of what I’ve written. Maybe not even top 10. Yet it has the most Kudos of any story I have out there.

So here is my list of my own favorites in no particular order and I am keeping it at 5

Not in Love

Not an Ordinary Life

Somewhere Else

In Another Life

A Spirky Christmas Carol

 

It was hard for me to choose A Spirky Christmas Carol over Going Boldly because I adore my longest fic, but A Christmas Carol is my all time favorite story and the tale told from Spock’s angle/POV is particularly poignant for me.

So there you have it, my top 5 COMPLETED works. I have a few favorites in the new stuff.

 

It’s Me, Again

This is my contemplative face

contemplative

Okay really it’s his, but it works for me.

I’m feeling much the same way he probably is in this shot.

Due to the success of Professor Spock I had decided to write a sequel, Runaway Groom. I thought given the themes of the first story where Jim was uncertain about bonding with Spock, who made his initial disdain for Human Jim very clear, that the sequel would be well received. I didn’t expect it to be be as popular. It’s rare that sequels ever are. But I didn’t expect the crash and burn I got either. I guess the so-called “sequel fatigue” isn’t just for movies.

The truth is, I should have kept it short and sweet. Maybe a one-shot where Spock found Jim quickly and ta-da the end. But I got it in my head that it had to be complicated and I ended up introducing Leonard McCoy Prime and really it just went down from there. I’m not surprised no one cares about it because I don’t even care about it. At this point all I want to do is delete it and call it a failed experiment.

I had plans that they would go to the Nexus and Jim would meet his father there and want to stay and for Spock Jim would be fully bonded with him and not have any doubts and so he’d want to stay. And they’d have to fight to get back to their real lives.

Only I just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. I really don’t.

And so I want to just make it go away and pretend it never happened.

My contemplative face is do I really just delete it without comment? That’s what I want to do. It’s just not working for me or for readers. I am sure there will be some readers who will be “Oh I liked that story” but for the most part I don’t really believe it will be missed.

So there you have it.

Ramblings of the Week 09/26

I admit I saw this gif on tumblr and couldn’t resist adding it to my site. It’s pretty cool.

So I spent the last three days wining and dining in San Diego. It was beastly hot this weekend even though it is fall and I cannot wait for at least reasonable weather. I think it’s supposed to be reasonable beginning in October. I hope so!

I need to continue working on my old married Spirk story so I can have it ready for November. And I have told myself I will not begin writing THE WINTER STORY (notice all the caps there, which is what it’s known as until a title occurs) until the old married spirk story is finished.

I am also hoping to get some closure on a couple of other stories soon. I have too many WIPs going and soon I will want to write holiday stories. Anyway those are today’s and this week’s ramblings!

Where My Demons Hide, Chapter 5

It was hot here. Insufferably so, really. And Jim had another moment where he wondered if agreeing to a month long visit to New Vulcan had been wise. Because, certainly, it was not the first one.

He’d been there two weeks already and had two more to go until he could escape to somewhere cooler. He tugged at the collar of his shirt. He had never sweated so much.

From his research, Vulcan had actually been hotter than New Vulcan. Jim had never made it there before it got destroyed so he only had accounts from those like Sarek and Spock to tell him.

And that was unbearably sad anyway, wasn’t it? A whole planet gone. And six billion Vulcans with it. It was still something he would never get used to. Through Ambassador Spock he had felt the crushing grief of its loss. Sometimes it haunted him even still. Jim could only be grateful Spock had been on the Enterprise and had survived. He hated to think if that had not been the case. But he had Spock. So he didn’t have to add that to all that fucked him up inside.

He stepped to the edge of a rock formation and looked down into what looked like a crater likely caused by some ancient meteor crash or something. He wiped his arm across his forehead.

It was a big drop, no doubt about it. If he fell down there he wouldn’t get up again. He took another step forward. Heard the pebbles falling down the hill from where he stepped.

“Jim, you are too close to the edge of the cliff,” Spock spoke up from about three hundred feet away.

“Nah, I’m fine.”

A weird bird gave a cry from up above and Jim tilted his head back to gaze up at it. At least he guessed it was a bird. Birdlike anyway. It was no eagle or hawk but it certainly had a giant wingspan. Sort of looked like old drawings of dinosaur birds from really ancient Earth.

“You are too close,” Spock said again. “Please step back.”

Jim looked away from the bird and back down below the cliff. It was filled with red and brown rocks and boulders, like the rest of the planet. It had been chosen due to its similarities with Vulcan. Spock had explained all that. There were even a few native plants down below. Flowers. None of them were roses. Black roses.

Another step forward and suddenly the ground beneath him seemed to give way.

A hand encircled his upper arm and yanked him away from the edge with extreme force. He fell to the ground and looked up at Spock, who was glaring at him. And really glaring. Not just Vulcan glaring.

“I told you that you were too close to the edge.”

Jim laughed and shook his head, scrambling to his feet. “I was fine.”

“You were about to fall,” Spock pointed out in a clipped voice.

“I was not,” Jim insisted. He brushed at the dirt on his legs and shorts. “And anyway, if I fell, then whatever.”

Spock sucked in a breath and then stared wide-eyed at him.

Jim shrugged. “I wouldn’t have anyway. Don’t take everything so serious.”

“My mother fell from a cliff to her death when we tried to transport her aboard the Enterprise,” Spock said softly. “You will forgive me if I take the matter quite seriously.”

“Oh.” Shit. Jim, you’re such a moron sometimes. “I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry, Spock. I really am.” He grabbed Spock by his biceps and ran his hands up and down Spock’s arms. “You forgive me?”

“Of course. Just be careful around cliffs.”

“I will.” Jim said. “I promise.” He moved his hand up to cup Spock’s jaw. Kissed the corner of Spock’s mouth. He laughed when Spock pulled away. “There’s no one around here, Spock. No Vulcans to scandalize with my improper behavior.”

“You need another shot.”

“Talk about a non sequitur.”

“Your color is high and you are sweating profusely,” Spock pointed out. “Dr. McCoy will not be pleased if I allow you to collapse.”

Jim snorted and turned away to dig into his backpack. “You don’t allow me to do anything. No one is in charge of me but me.” He removed one of the hypos. “And I’m pretty sure that this isn’t going to make me any cooler. Jesus, Spock. It’s fucking hot here.”

Spock quirked a brow and took the hypo from Jim and injected it into his shoulder. “I find the temperature comfortable.”

“I know. Your favorite place on Earth is Death Valley.” Jim leaned over and panted. “I think I’ve lost twenty-five pounds just from sweating.”

“We can return to the house if you wish. It is likely time to feed you anyway.”

Jim rubbed his stomach. “It’s past time. I’m really hungry.”

Spock nodded. “We will return to our explorations tomorrow.”

“Can we get an earlier start? Maybe it will be just a slight bit cooler.”

“As you wish, Jim.”

Jim followed Spock as they hiked back the way they came. He took a canteen out of his backpack and took a drink. It wasn’t cold at all anymore. And he was half tempted to pour it over his head.

He hadn’t realized how far they’d actually come until they kept walking and walking. They’d been walking back at least an hour before he spotted Sarek’s house in the distance.

“You are all right, Captain?” Spock asked.

“Well. If you can call being physically exhausted, dirty, sweaty, smelly and hungry as a bear all right, then yes.”

“It is only a little farther now.”

“I’m pretty sure you told me that half an hour ago.”

When they finally reached Sarek’s house, Spock stopped him before they entered.

“I apologize that you are having a miserable time.”

Jim smiled. “I’m not having a miserable time, Spock. I’m with you, okay? It’s-it’s not exactly where I’d choose to take a vacation, it’s true.”

“Where would you choose?”

“Right now? A fucking igloo. With a blizzard.” Jim grinned and touched his fingers to Spock’s. “Now can we go inside where it’s at least a little cooler? I need a shower.”

They entered the house and Jim heaved a sigh of relief.

“I’m going to get that shower. And whatever we have to eat, please tell me it’s not soup.”

Jim laughed at the look Spock gave him and then headed down the hall to the room they’d been given. He stripped out of his shirt and shorts and went into the bathroom. He turned the water to cool.

“Sonic Schmonic,” he muttered and got under the spray of deliciousness. He closed his eyes and slid his hand down to his cock.

****

“Better?” Spock asked when Jim emerged a while later dressed in a tank top and shorts. He left his feet bare. Both Spock and Sarek were dressed in Vulcan robes.

Weirdos.

“Much. Hello, sir,” Jim greeted Sarek with a smile.

“Sarek, Jim. Remember? There is no need for such formality,” Sarek reminded Jim.

“What are we having?”

“Plomeek soup,” Sarek said, his expression blank.

“What?” Jim sked.

Sarek’s lips twitched. “That is what Spock and I will have. We have a refreshing salad of greens, tomatoes, and cucumbers for you.”

Jim grinned. “Thank God. Wait. Vulcan cucumbers or Terran ones?”

“Terran. I am aware of your distaste for the ones from here,” Sarek assured him. “You have made it quite obvious.”

Jim felt himself sort of blush but it was probably true. He had something of a big mouth when it came to what he liked to eat and did not like to eat. He smiled when Spock handed him iced tea just as his PADD beeped that he had a message.

He went to where he’d left it by the sofa in the living room.

He picked it up and read.

Hello Darling. I’ll be seeing you…soon.

The Perfect Partner, Conclusion

Seems I managed to finish this after all. 

“Got all your supplies, Bones?” Jim asked, coming up behind his friend as he conducted inventory.

“Looks like they’re here.” Bones straightened from his squat. “You going back to the ship?”

Jim turned his head to view the beaches in the distance. He’d allowed some of the crew to have a few hours shore leave on Tambian 3. They couldn’t afford the time for a lengthy leave but twelve hours was better than nothing.

“I think I’m going to hit the beach for a bit.”

Bones studied him. “Want company?”

Jim hesitated. He didn’t want to hurt Bones’ feeling but he wanted to be alone to think. “Next time,” he told his friend. “I think I need some solitude.”

Bones nodded. “All right then.”

He was grateful Bones didn’t say he could get solitude on the Enterprise. Besides Jim wasn’t even sure that was true.

“Thanks, Bones.”

“And what do I do if Spock asks where you are? Tell him I don’t know?”

Jim shook his head. “No, you can tell Spock. No one else though.”

His friend smirked. “You want to be alone unless it involves Spock.”

“Bones—”

“Save it, Jim. You’ve been hung up on that Vulcan since he stood up, tugged down his uniform and walked up to the podium to accuse you of cheating.”

Jim laughed. “Well…maybe not that long.”

“Yes that long.”

Jim smiled. “See you soon?”

“Yeah, go on. Get out of here. Captain.”

It took about half an hour to make it down to the beach from his location. There wasn’t anyone around this particular section of the beach for which Jim was happy. The planet’s sun was already going down and there was a slight chill to the air but Jim didn’t mind.

He took off his boots and socks, he hated socks, but the boots were uncomfortable without them, and rolled up his pants to the knee so he could go wade in the cold ocean water.

He stood there, staring down at the water rushing his feet and the sand between his toes for he didn’t even know how long.

After a while, he turned his head and couldn’t miss the Vulcan coming down the beach toward him. Jim smiled. He should have known Spock would show up. Bones knew it too.

“Captain?”

“Hi Spock.”

Jim was torn between making Spock come to him and not making Spock traipse through the water. He was pretty sure Spock wouldn’t want to get his boots wet and there was almost no chance he’d take them off to wade.

Finally Jim walked over to where Spock stood, safely away from the water.

“You are unwell?”

“Nah. I’m fine. Just thinking.”

Spock’s gaze went over his head for a moment out to the sea, then it returned to Jim’s face. “If I made you uncomfortable with our earlier activities, I apologize.”

“What…the daddy stuff?”

Spock’s cheeks were dusted slightly green.

“Spock, I don’t care if we fuck while dressed up as a ballerina. It’s all good as far as I’m concerned.”

Spock’s brows furrowed. “Would that be you dressed as a ballerina or me?”

Jim smiled. “Whichever. The point is, sex with you, whatever form it takes, is at the top of my list of really fantastic things.”

“You have a list?”

“Totally.”

Spock was silent for a moment and Jim could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “You are pensive. Is there something else I have done to cause you dismay?”

“No.”

Spock exhaled slowly. “There is something, Jim. I feel your distance when we touch.”

Jim blinked at him in surprise. “With what we just did, you think I’m distant?”

“Not there,” Spock said softly. His hand went to cover Jim’s heart. “Here.”

“Spock,” Jim whispered. “You know I love you, right?”

Spock actually trembled. “I suspected the possibility existed but it is nice to hear confirmation.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“Here’s what I would want in a perfect partner. I’d want a telepath because it’s completely amazing to be so attuned to someone. I’d want him to be fully human, because then he’d completely understand me and my emotions. I’d want him to be completely gorgeous with soulful dark eyes. I’d want him to love me with all that he is. And I’d want him to agree with me 100% of the time. There’d never be disagreements or misunderstandings or confusion. Because he knew I was always right.”

Spock did not respond immediately and Jim could see that he was processing the things Jim had said.

“Jim.”

“Spock?”

“Of the five things you have mentioned, as I understand them, only three of those apply to me.”

Jim covered the hand that still rested on Jim’s chest with his own. “That’s right. You’re a telepath and you’re completely gorgeous with soulful dark eyes.”

“And I love you with all that I am,” Spock whispered.

Jim had to kiss him after that, leaning in to kiss those totally kissable lips.

“But then I am not the perfect partner for you.”

“Actually, yes, you are.”

“But I am not human nor do I agree with you all the time and in fact there are many times your emotions confuse me.”

“But see, Spock, I don’t really want perfect. I actually love the fact that I confuse you and you can’t figure me out sometimes and it frustrates you. Sure there are times when I wish you gave into your human side more often, but I think your Vulcan side is pretty fucking fantastic and I adore the fuck out of it and you. I can’t imagine anything more boring than someone who always agrees with me and thinks I’m right all the time. Hell, on the surface it sounds great, but the actual execution of it would be beyond freaky. You challenge me in ways no one else does or ever could.”

Spock’s other hand now came up to wrap around Jim’s waist and pull him very close.

“You aren’t perfect, Spock, except you are perfect for me. See?”

“This is because of what I said to you during my compromise under the effects of the pollen, is it not?’

Jim nodded. “It’s what got me thinking about it.”

“Ashayam, I do not wish you to be anything other than what you are.”

“I know,” Jim assured him with a smile. “It’s just…I’ve spent a lifetime trying to be what others want me to be.”

“I am fairly certain you cannot alter yourself to become pregnant or Vulcan.”

“Any more than you can become more human,” Jim agreed. “I love you. And I’m sorry I haven’t said it before. I’ve felt it for a long time.”

Spock’s hand moved from Jim’s chest up to cup Jim’s jaw. “You are my heart. My soul. I would do anything for you. All things. I would die for you. I would kill for you. All for you. And I regret that I ever gave you reason to doubt that you are utterly perfect in my eyes.”

Jim’s eyes got misty. “There go those illogical, confusing emotions on full display.”

“Indeed,” Spock murmured. “We still have some time before we have to leave orbit of Tambian 3.”

“We sure do.” Jim pulled away but then grabbed Spock’s hand. “Come on.”

“Jim? Where are we going?”

“To the water.”

“The water? It is cold and wet.”

“Why, yes, Spock. Yes it is.” He grinned. “You could take off your boots.”

“Then my feet would get colder and wetter.”

“Indeed.” Jim arched a brow like he had seen Spock do so many times. “Come on, Babe. Live a little.”

Spock replied with a long suffering sigh, but he bent down to remove his boots and then his socks. “Very well.”

“Very well…Captain.”

Spock yanked him forward for a kiss. “Very well, Captain.”

 

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