“It doesn’t matter what you have to say because…wait.” Jim stopped talking, suddenly looking uncertain. His bottom lip trembled. “What did you say?”
“I love you,” Spock said again, louder this time. “I-I have for the longest time. I…I am not sure when. Like you, I never said anything. I was with Nyota and I…that relationship was comfortable if not particularly passionate. I thought that was the way romantic relationships generally occurred.”
“Your parents—”
“They never openly showed affection except to touch fingers. That is not the Vulcan way. I did learn that my father loved my mother after she was gone.” Spock shook his head. “Nyota and I also touched fingers and, as I said, it was comfortable and pleasant. I thought, perhaps, to discuss my growing affection for you after the events involving Khan but you quickly established a romantic relationship with Carol Marcus. And then when she left, there was always someone else or some other mission or something that kept me from speaking up.” Spock looked down at the ground. “I was also a coward as I never dared hope you would share my affection. What could you possibly see in a skinny emotionally stunted Vulcan? It is painful to know that you gave your love to another Spock.”
Jim just stared at him and Spock began to realize it was too late. He’d lost his chance. He’d lost Jim.
The lump in his throat made it difficult to swallow but it was nothing compared to the pain in his side where his heart surely had ceased to beat.
“You’re wrong.”
Jim’s voice was a soft whisper.
Spock was afraid to ask what he’d gotten wrong as he was certain he was not going to like the answer.
Jim shook his head and took a step toward Spock. Suddenly he put his fingers on Spock’s wrist.
“You’re a touch telepath, what does that tell you?”
“I…”
“I never gave my love to anyone else. He was a replacement for you. A really great replacement, sure. But he could never be you. I gave my heart to you a long time ago. No one else can have it unless you give it back.”
Spock’s gaze held his and he saw only what he hoped to see…love.
“I would selfishly keep it forever.”
That earned him the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. And all of Jim’s smiles were gifts.
“Can I kiss you now?”
Spock shook his head. “No.”
“No?”
“I want to kiss you. To show you what it’s like to kiss the real me, the one who loves you beyond reason and who will all his days, however many that may be.”
Spock lifted his hand to Jim’s face, framing his jaw, and lowered his mouth to Jim’s at last. And if it seemed like stars and sun and water swirled around them, surely that was merely imagination. As was the click he heard in his mind.
Jim leaned into him, deepening the kiss.
Spock forgot anything else other than the taste of perfection.
*coming soon to AO3*
Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto) 