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Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

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Spock POV

Flash Fic, September 23, 2020

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Spock was surprised, really, each time he woke up to find Jim Kirk sleeping next to him. Everyone, Jim included, called Jim his boyfriend. And that term was still strange to him. It was such a Human term. And didn’t entirely encompass all that he felt or intended with regard to Jim. So far, he had not used it.

He had not intended to obtain a boyfriend in his life. He was there to be a member of Starfleet and though that had certainly not changed, he had the added…benefit of someone to share that with.

Spock had met Jim at a gathering mutual friends had given. They’d started talking and then somehow ended up back at Spock’s apartment and bed. Spock did not do one-night stands and apparently, as they’d been together since then, his record of not having one-night stands was still quite correct.

Spock had to get up early that morning as he had an eight o’clock class to teach and he preferred to be there well before the start. He generally met his friend, Nyota Uhura, for tea on such mornings, and though he now had a…Jim…that did not change.

He also knew Jim didn’t have a class until that afternoon, so Jim preferred to continue sleeping on such mornings. And waking Jim up when he was not ready to be was always a mistake. Jim could become quite grumpy.

Still, after Spock’s early morning shower, after dressing, he leaned down to kiss Jim’s forehead. Jim continued sleeping right through it.

When Spock opened the door to his apartment to leave, he was startled to find someone standing there.

He could see the Human male was likewise startled, and his hand was raised as though he was about to knock.

He was very tall and blond with familiar blue eyes. Spock surmised, logically, that he was somehow related to Jim.

“May I help you?”

“I’m looking for James Kirk. I was told he might be here.”

“You are?”

The blue eyes narrowed just a fraction. “His brother. Is he here or not?”

Spock considered that. “It was my understanding his brother is missing.”

“Guess I’ve been found.” The man shrugged. “Jim? Are you in there?”

“He is asleep.”

“Wake him.”

Spock blinked. “I do not…”

“Spock, it’s okay.”

He turned to see a bleary eyed Jim standing just behind him. He still wore his pajama bottoms and had pulled on one of Spock’s bathrobes over that since Jim normally slept without a shirt. Jim’s hair stood on end and he looked young and vulnerable.

And Spock had to leave.

Yet he did not want to leave Jim with this giant unknown brother. His protective instincts took over.

Jim’s brother now sort of pushed his way into the apartment and Spock was about to reach up and pinch his neck when Jim moved forward between them.

“Sam, what are you doing here?”

“Came to see you. I heard you were in San Francisco. I’ve been looking all over for you. Some dude at your dorm said you were with him.”  Sam’s gaze went to Spock, briefly, before switching back to Jim. “I’m passing through and thought we could have breakfast or something.”

Jim hugged himself. “Uh.”

Spock bristled. “When was the last time you saw Jim? Was it not when you left him to deal with your stepfather alone? And now you simply show up one day and ask to have breakfast?”

“Spock,” Jim whispered. He put his hand on Spock’s arm. “It’s all right. I’ll have breakfast with him.”

Sam gave Spock a superior smile.

“Then I will arrange to have my class handled by another instructor and I will join you.”

“Controlling much?” Sam said.

“Hey,” Jim snapped. “Back off now.” He took a step toward his brother. “You can just leave.”

Sam put up his hands. “Okay, okay, sorry.”

“Yeah, sure you are. You come here unannounced out of the blue to Spock’s home and then be a dick to him? You have some balls, Sam.”

“I’m sorry. Really. I’ll buy breakfast.”

Jim gave him a look before turning back to Spock. “It’s okay. You go teach your class and I’ll have breakfast with this dumbass here.”

“Jim—”

“It’ll be okay. I don’t want to subject you to any unnecessary drama.” Jim turned back to his brother. “Meet me at the café in thirty minutes. I need time to shower and get dressed.”

“All right, fine.” Sam backed up and out of the apartment. “See you.”

Spock watched him leave. Made sure he did.

Then he turned to…his boyfriend.

“Are you certain you wish to see him alone?”

Jim smiled, though it was strained. “I don’t think he’s out to hurt me, Spock. Probably wants something. Which I can’t and won’t give him. Once I tell him, he’ll probably be on his way.”

“Message me as soon as you arrive and as soon as you leave breakfast.”

Perhaps Spock did sound controlling. And he did not mean to, but he didn’t know Jim’s brother nor his intentions.

Jim kissed him. “Okay.”

And Spock was glad Jim had not argued.

While he was leaving tea with Nyota, he received a message from Jim saying he was seated at a table for breakfast.

Then when his class was over he checked his messages again and there was nothing.

But as he stepped outside he spotted Jim approaching him. And it was all he could do not to pull Jim close in an illogical display of Human weakness.

“Hey,” Jim greeted him. “How was your class?”

Spock shook his head impatiently. “Same as always. Your brother?”

“Same as always.”

“Jim…”

“Can we go to your apartment?”

Spock nodded. “Very well.”

Which made him realize something.  Something important.

Though his apartment was really just a short walk from campus, Spock found himself growing impatient to get there. And once he did, he immediately turned to Jim.

“Are you well?”

“Of course I am.”

And without having to ask, and Spock was not sure how to do so, Jim moved close and put his arms around Spock, who could not help but sigh in relief as his own arms closed around Jim. He closed his eyes.

“Better?” Jim murmured.

“Much.”

Jim nodded against him. “You were a bit tense.” He moved his hands up and under Spock’s shirt, his fingers touching the bare skin of Spock’s back which soothed him further.

“It has been a difficult day. Jim, will you share this apartment with me?”

Jim drew back, just a little, for Spock would not let him go far, to look at Spock. “You want me to move in?”

“Yes. With a certainty. You have been spending almost every night here anyway.”

“Sure. But, uh, I wasn’t sure you actually liked that. I don’t know. Sometimes I thought…”

“What?” Spock asked softly.

“Maybe I was pushing you more into this relationship than you were actually wanting. Probably more than you were comfortable with. I just…I’m pretty crazy about you, Spock.”

“You…are wrong.”

Jim gave him a quizzical look. “About what?”

“I want this relationship.” Spock blew out a breath. “I am…not as comfortable with all of this as I should be, I cannot deny that. But I am learning. And I want to learn more. I am very much enamored of you, Jim, and I do want you to stay here with me all the time.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah?”

“Very much so. And what happened with your brother?”

“You could barely stand to wait huh?”

Spock gave him a look.

Jim chuckled. “He’s gone. He didn’t ask me for anything. He’s on his way off planet. We may see each other again. I don’t know. But he really did just want to see me after all this time, I guess. Things are not okay between us, not even a little, but we’ll see.”

“As long as he did not make you feel any worse, than I will not pursue him.”

Jim laughed again and then looked at Spock’s face. “You’re serious?”

“Of course I am. I cannot have him harming my…boyfriend.”

The smile Jim gave him was glorious. He leaned into Spock to kiss him.

When they came up for air, Spock said, “Jim.”

“Hmm?”

“Will you…?”

“Of course I will.”

Flash Fic, September 04, 2020

A while ago, I did a fic where Jim woke up unexpectedly in A Surprise.  

I decided for this September it would be fun to do it the other way around.

Who Does Spock Wake Up With? I also changed the tense of the narrative to present.

Something is strange, Spock realizes, the moment he wakes. He is in a bed but not in his bed. And for one long minute as he stares up at a strange ceiling, he cannot figure out why.

He tenses a little when he realizes a heavy, muscular arm is slung across him. He chooses not to immediately move for he is not prepared to wake up his bed partner. Not now anyway.

He goes over what he recalls from the last few hours, and as he lifts his head up slightly from the rumpled pillow cushioning his head, he recognizes the other man in bed with him as Cadet Jim Kirk.

Both the cadet and Spock himself are nude. Spock continues to survey the cadet and notes he wears several sucked bruises along his collarbone. Hickeys as Terrans call them.

Cadet Kirk is lying on his stomach, his round buttocks facing upward and exposed to the elements, or rather the room in which they are, and Spock’s gaze. There appears to be dried semen stains across the plump cheeks and between, on the crease.

Spock knows he is blushing at this and knows they are from him, as are the hickeys.

He doesn’t give himself the time to analyze all the events that led up to this coupling, as he decides it is best if he makes himself scarce from what is obviously Cadet Kirk’s living space.

He eases himself out from under the arm and is pleased when he does so without waking the young sandy haired man.

Spock feels sore all over and rather exhausted and expects they spent a rather vigorous evening together.  He takes the time to locate the sheet lying discarded on the floor and lifts it up and over Cadet Kirk’s nude body.

Spock next seeks out his clothing and finds it by the door of what is clearly an Academy Dormitory. From his perusal, the cadet does not seem to have a roommate. His mind is still a bit fuzzy on how they ended up in this situation, but he suspects once he leaves and has tea and breakfast, it will come to him.

After dressing in his professor’s uniform, he quickly sneaks out of the dorm room, grateful that no one came upon him as he does so.

It is early, Spock realizes, the sun just coming up, and most cadets in the area will be sleeping off whatever partying they’d done the evening before. It had been Friday after all.

His apartment is about a block over from the dorms and so Spock hastily makes his way there.

Once in his apartment, he showers, changes into clean clothing–grateful it is Saturday and he has no classes to instruct–and prepares his breakfast.

As he sits and sips his tea and eats his oats, Spock goes over his memories. He recalls now that he had been talked into going to a bar by another cadet of his acquaintance, Nyota Uhura. They had been…sort of dating…Spock supposes. Clearly they were not now.

He pulls out his communication device and sees he has a few texts from her.

Spock? U ok?

Spock, u better answer!

Before she can show up to his apartment inquiring into matters he is not yet ready to discuss, he quickly sends her a response.

Yes, I am fine. Having breakfast. Talk later.

He hopes this will suffice for now and that she won’t come barging over. She has a tendency to be abrasive at times and that is part of the reason Spock does not see a romantic future with her.

Even before the apparent events of the night before.

It was at this bar that Spock struck up a conversation with Cadet Kirk. And he realizes, it was definitely he who had approached the cadet.

Cadet Kirk had been sitting in a dark corner of the bar by himself drinking a beer and staring at his communication device, his blueberry eyes looking wet.

“Are you unwell?” Spock had asked.

And somehow that question had caused him to sit at the table with Kirk.

The cadet had told him a sad story about a friend, Spock had sympathized, they touched hands, had a couple more drinks, held hands, and then…

Gone to Cadet Kirk’s dorm where they…yes. Quite a lot, they had.

Spock feels himself blush again even though there is no one in his apartment but him, but he remembers it all, thinks a little bit that he was an animal, perhaps taking advantage of Cadet Kirk’s sorrowful state, Spock isn’t sure, but…

A knock startles him out of his reverie.

Spock frowns in irritation, which he allows himself to feel, certain it is Nyota Uhura after all. He thinks of ignoring it and pretending he is not home, but that seems too close to a lie, and Vulcans do not.

He pushes back from his chair and goes to the door of his apartment. He forgets to look through the peephole as he opens it and so is startled into an un-Vulcan-like gasp.

“Cadet Kirk!”

Kirk smiles, which lights up the apartment and the hallway, Spock thinks, and he holds up a paper bag that is clenched in his hands.

“Bagels for breakfast. Cream cheese too. Even vegan.”

Spock stands back and allows him to enter his apartment.

Kirk steps close and kisses him. Spock does not mind. He seizes the top of Kirk’s T-shirt and pulls him close, deepening the kiss.

“Good morning,” Kirk says breathlessly.

Spock kicks the door closed.

“Good morning, Jim.”       

Illogical Regrets, Flash Fic

I got a request for this, after the happenings of Amok Time, and I decided to do it AOS, because, well, that’s what I do most of the time.

pinethumb

Spock walked into his quarters and stopped in the middle, unsure what to do. He was shaking still. He was so certain he had killed Jim. That this was the end for him. For them.

He would never recover.

Never mind his career, that was unimportant to killing…his captain.

This was much closer to killing Jim then when he had been choking him on the bridge during Nero.

In fact, he had killed Jim. He had. He would have. Jim would be dead. If not for McCoy’s neural paralyzer—

The madness that overtaken him. He had been so certain he would not have to go through this. He was only half Vulcan. Had had it drilled in to him so many times that he wasn’t considered Vulcan enough by his peers. His father—

Well, his father had expressed disappointment in him until the death of his mother.

Spock hadn’t believed T’Pring had survived the destruction of Vulcan, but she had. He’d learned that a year after. She hadn’t been on Vulcan at the time of the destruction. And even then, Spock had assumed she had the preliminary betrothal link they’d been given as children severed. She had always promised she would.

But then the madness came, and he knew then, T’Pring hadn’t severed their link. He’d turned from Nyota to bond with T’Pring, the one chosen for him. While his intention had never been to hurt Nyota, he had no choice but to do his duty. Her tears had not affected him much, as the fever had already started. He had not spoken to Nyota since he’d felt the Plak Tow. And he did not wish to see her or speak with her now.

He thought only of Jim.

Jim.

Who had just been smiling, brightly, and with all the forgiveness Spock surely did not deserve. Grinning and proving to Spock that he was very much alive and so beautiful Spock’s heart hurt.

T’Pring. Why had she so cruelly chosen to jeopardize Jim’s life instead of just ending things between them before it ever reached this point? She cared not at all for Jim, who as a human, would have died at Spock’s hands.

Spock would have forever mourned the fact he had murdered his own friend. Never mind Spock’s romantic feelings for Jim, he was his friend, and T’Pring knew he would have killed Jim.

He could no longer deny to anyone, especially himself, his true feelings for Jim.

Spock glanced toward their shared bathroom. Jim was not presently in his quarters. Spock knew this because he was always hyper aware of Jim’s movements there. He heard nothing from that direction now.

Besides, he’d heard Jim make plans to see the doctor later. Something about a drink together. How they deserved it after everything they’d been through.

Jim should not be with McCoy. He should be with Spock. Where he belonged.

Mine.

Jim was not his. Should never be. Spock was so ashamed.

Before he could even think to stop himself, Spock walked into their shared bathroom, straight through it, and into Jim’s quarters.

He paused just inside, almost in the doorway of the bathroom. He had never invaded this space without Jim present.

Spock turned to go back the way he’d come when he spotted Jim’s shirt lying on the end of his bed. His heart rate picked up dramatically as he realized which shirt it was.

The one.

Jim had been wearing this one when—

Spock’s breath hitched, and he walked over to Jim’s bed.

Jim’s bed.

He might never have slept here again. Because Spock would have-would have—

Spock picked up the ruined shirt. The slashes across Jim’s chest were stained with blood. The blood of…

Spock clenched his eyes shut and turned toward his own quarters, the shirt still held in his hands. He walked through their shared bathroom and to his own quarters.

The blood. The slashes. The lirpa wounds.

What pain Jim must have felt.

Because of him.

He rubbed his thumb on the dried blood. It made him so ashamed and angry. Not at Jim, never. But at T’Pring. At himself. At those Vulcans who just planned on letting him kill his friend and captain.

Spock turned in anger to his laundry program. He could not stand for one more moment to see Jim’s blood there. Blood he spilled.

It made him want to resign his commission and put himself in for court martial all over again.

When the shirt came out clean, Spock pressed it to his face once more.

“Jim,” he whispered. Though it was illogical since he had just washed it, Spock was certain he could smell Jim on the material. There was no longer a trace of blood, but the slashes of the lirpa were still there. Still the evidence of what he’d done.

Tears pricked his eyes and he shoved his face into the shirt.

“Hey, Spock, sorry to cut through the bathroom, but I—”

Spock raised his head quickly to see the object of his affection, of his everything, standing in his quarters, staring at Spock in utter shock. His mouth hung open, his blue eyes were wide and so-so blue.

“Spock, are you okay? What are you doing?”

“Your-your shirt…”

Jim moved from by the bathroom over to where Spock stood holding on to his shirt for dear life. “I’m okay, Spock. I’m right here.”

“But…the cuts.”

Jim searched his gaze, his eyes crinkling as he smiled gently. He pried the shirt from Spock’s hands, who let loose only reluctantly.

“Did you remove the blood?”

Spock nodded, mutely.

Jim pulled off his command tunic and the undershirt under it, then to Spock’s surprise, pulled the ruined shirt on, pulling it down over his chest. “See? No more cuts or blood.”

Spock stared at his chest through the slashes. He could see scars. He had scarred him. He swallowed heavily. “The scars—”

“Oh. Well. Bones could have gotten rid of those or at least made them a little less prominent, but I…you would think I’m kind of weird.” Jim laughed, and Spock loved his laugh. So much. “Weirder.”

Spock breathed out. “You-you should laugh more. It is precious.”

Jim frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am…ashamed.”

“Spock—”

“Jim.” Spock could not hold himself back any longer. He needed to touch Jim. He realized how many times they had just touched, like it was natural, normal. And it was between them.

He seized hold of that shirt he had ruined and used it to pull Jim closer. His gaze strayed toward Jim’s nipples, plainly visible through the slashes in the shirt, something he had seen before, yes, Jim ruined his shirt often, though this was the first time Spock had been the cause, but he had never dared even look too long at them. He did now.

Before he could stop himself, he moved his hand to Jim’s chest. He swiped his thumb through the cut shirt and across the left one. Jim sucked in a breath.

His gaze met Jim’s. “You were saying about the scars?”

Jim shook his head, his Adam’s apple sliding down his throat. “Just…when we-we were sparring, you were lying on top of me and I just…I could feel you.” Jim’s face reddened. “All of you. I’ve-I’ve imagined it so many times, not like that, no, but, you and I, you on me like that, and I just never wanted to forget that feeling. Not that scars—”

“Jim.” Spock bent toward Jim’s chest, flicking his tongue out at the nipple he’d just swiped with his thumb.

“Spock?”

He sucked on first one and then the other of Jim’s nipples, as his captain fell into his arms, sagging against him. He lifted Jim into his arms then and turned toward his bed. He planned on showing Jim just how precious he really was.

To Spock. Especially to Spock.

“Mine.”

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